Hubby Jokes
25 hubby jokes and hilarious hubby puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hubby that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Check out these hilarious hubby jokes perfect for any wife to share with her husband. Create in-laws jokes, cuddle jokes, and home jokes so that you won't forget the fun-loving side of your life together. Read on for some of the best hubby jokes around!
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Funniest Hubby Short Jokes
Short hubby jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hubby humour may include short spouse jokes also.
- Wife: Listen hubby, who do you like better, an intelligent woman or a beautiful woman? Husband: I don't like either. I only like you.
- Wife says to her hubby what do you want for dinner ? The hubby says what's my choices?
The wife says Yes or No. - Loyalty Test... Wife buys 12 underwears of same color for hubby..🔻
Hubby- Why same color sweetheart. people will think I never change my underwear.
Wife- Which people
Total silence... - Last week, hubby wanted to spice things up a little, and suggested we play doctors and nurses..... .... so I strapped him to a trolley, put him in the hallway, and ignored him for 48 hours.
- Sayings and Humor Funny I tell my hubby this all the time...he says "get up beautiful, time for work" :)
- Easter Weekend Wife: Honey, what's for Easter?
Hubby: Same plan as Jesus. Disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday. - Wife: My hubby & I have, what he calls-Olympic s**.... Friend: Wow, must be a terrific s**... life?
Wife: Not really. It only happens once in 4 years. - Old lady in a fancy restaurant leans over to her hubby and says , I've done a silent f**... what should I do? Husband says 'change the batteries in your hearing aids
- What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito will stop s**... when you s**... it.
*Heard this from my hubby last night.
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Hubby One Liners
Which hubby one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hubby? I can suggest the ones about perfect husband and married man.
- Wife:- I am Going out for 2 hours. Do u want anything? Hubby:- No, that's enough.
- It makes my day when my hubby says those three special words: "You were right."
- Why was the lizard's wife unsatisfied? Her hubby had a reptile dysfunction.
- I asked hubby to fix the front door...
Hilarious Fun Hubby Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about hubby you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean wive jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hubby pranks.
My husband commented on the new store that is being built nearby: That's a nice looking Aldi!
I told him it just looks like Aldi others.
...
Sorry y'all. It's been such a bad day, and this little exchange my hubby and I had earlier had us both laughing probably more than we should have. Hope it makes one of you out there smile too.
To surprise her hubby, an executive's wife stopped by his office.
When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap.
Without hesitating, he dictated, "And in conclusion, gents, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair.
Riding in car with hubby and 80-yo mom; mom asks why the US flag at Mickey Ds is…
…half staff. Without missing a beat, hubby says its because the ice cream machine is down. I facepalm as my mom asks when that became a thing. 🤦♀️
A husband and wife give up their identical twin boys for adoption. They name one of them Juan and the other Amol
Years later the wife receives a letter from Juan reaching out to her, he included a picture. Elated she showed her husband who was excited to see his son doing so well in life.. weeks later they receive a letter from Amol telling them how well he is doing and also included a picture. Wife asks hubby " do you want to see your sons picture?" hubby replies "Why? if you've seen Juan you've seen Amol"
Honey, I cleaned the bathroom!!!
Wife: Thank you
Hubby: Why do we keep the toilet brush in the shower?
Wife: What?!??!
Hubby: Why is the toilet brush in the shower?
Wife: What the h**... are you talking about?!?
Hubby: The puffy thing with the handle!!
Wife: MY LOOFA
Hubby: You named the toilet brush?
s**...' and 'Love' ....;)
At the retreat, a couple was told to individually write a sentence using the words s**...' and 'love.'
The woman wrote:
When two mature people are passionately and deeply in love with one another to a high degree and they respect each other very much, just like my hubby and I, it is spiritually and morally acceptable for them to engage in the act physical s**... with one another.
The Husband wrote: I Love s**....
Translated Indian joke: Don't speak while you're eating.
Husband & Wife dining in a hotel:
Hubby: I wanna tell you something.
Wife: It's not good manners to talk while eating.
.
(After Eating)
Wife: Now tell me.
Hubby: There was a cockroach in your Biryani !!!
Moral:
Listen to your Husband once in a while
In money trouble, the couple finally agrees she will p**... for a while. She is out all night the first night and has only $20.25 in the morning.
When hubby asks who only gave her 25 cents, she replied - All of them!
A r**... couple gets married and are on their honeymoon.
The woman changes into a s**... outfit and lies on the bed.
She looks sheepishly up at her new hubby and whispers, "Please be gentle with me. I'm a v**...."
The man gets up screaming, grabs his trousers and runs home to tell his father.
His father comforts him by saying, "Now, now. It'll be okay, son. If she wasn't good enough for her own family, then she isn't good enough for ours."
Animal smugglers
A man wants to smuggle a snake and a skunk through customs. The wife says to her husband "how are we going to get them through?'. Hubby replies "I'll tie the snake around my waist and you shove the skunk up your skirt". "But what about the smell?" she says to which he responds "Well if it dies, it dies…"
Wife always brought a picture of her hubby to work.
H: Honey, why do you always carry a photo of me with you at work?
W: Coz everytime I have a problem, I just look at it and suddenly I feel much better.
H: I knew it! You really love me more than I love you!
W: Well, I just look at your photo and tell myself "no problem is bigger than this".
One Night, as a couple lay down to bed,
the husband gently starts rubbing his wife on the arm. The wife turned over and said "Sorry honey, I have an OBGYN appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."
Dejected and rejected, the hubby tries to sleep. After a while he turns over to his wife and says "Do you have a dentist's appointment too?"
Go to your mother
Wife is busy packing clothes.
Hubby: Where are you going?
Wife: To my mother.
Hubby also starts packing clothes.
Wife: And where do you think you are going?
Hubby: I'm also going to my mother.
Wife: What about the kids?
Hubby: Since you are going to your mother and I'm also going to my mother, the kids should also go to their mother.
Wife: "Get me a coat hanger, I don't want the baby anymore."
Hubby: "Are you crazy? It's too late for that! May I remind you our child has already been born?"
Wife: "It's not too late to let it play with the wall socket."
