How Things Change Jokes
84 how things change jokes and hilarious how things change puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about how things change that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest How Things Change Short Jokes
Short how things change jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The how things change humour may include short change management jokes also.
- When I was growing up # was pound, not hashtag Good thing it changed, since "pound metoo" would've been sending the wrong message
- When my girlfriend got pregnant, everything changed. Things like, my job, my phone number and my address
- It's amazing how removing letters from something changes things so fast For instance, if you remove enough letters from 'mailbox' you get 'felony'
- My wife said, "If you could change one thing about me, what would it be?" I said, "Your husband."
- Let's change things up a bit. I thought I found a quarter inside one of my shoes. That would have been strange enough on its own, but it turned out to be a nickel, which made even less cents.
- Many things have changed... Many things have changed since I became a dad...
My phone number, my address. - Things are pretty bad right now Van Diesel was forced to change his name to Van Electric due to increasing gas prices.
- I'm so down on my luck right now, that I can't even afford to change out light bulbs when they burn out... Things don't look so bright
- Time to change careers. This cat burglar thing isn't working out. Too many friggin' scratches.
- I got into a fight with my wife and she told me I should try seeing things from her perspective for a change. so I went into the kitchen and stared out the window while I did some dishes.
Share These How Things Change Jokes With Friends
How Things Change One Liners
Which how things change one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with how things change? I can suggest the ones about chameleons change and changing mind.
- What are the two things conservatives hate? The way things are, and change.
- What's the one thing that changed the way you see the world? For me it was glasses
- What do you call an Egyptian who doesn't want things to change? Aziz.
- Cancer changes things. If you really love her.. You'll put up with dry-mouth blow jobs.
- Only Two Things Can Change A Women's Mood 1.I Love You.
2.50% Discount - What's the only thing a feminist is going to change? The Laundry
- Two Life changing rules : 1).NEVER reveal 2 things to anyone
2).
Comical & Quirky How Things Change Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about how things change you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean changing weather jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make how things change pranks.
Well, I was just thinking about all the possible things that could make the new president comfortable in the White House. Putting graffiti on the walls of the White House that says, "Cheney was here," or changing the president's theme from "Hail to the Chief," to the Jeffersons' show's theme song, "We're moving on up."
Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store.
While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoe, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk about it.
“What’s this little pocket thing here on the side for?”
“Oh, that’s to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you’ve jogged too far.”
There was an old man who always rode his bike to his brother’s house every weekend.
It took him 2 hours and he alway’s made it by there by 2PM.
One day he tried to make it in 1 hour.
Collapsing on a hill from exhaustion, while sitting there, a Corvette pulls up and asks him if he needs a ride.
The man looks at his watch and sees he would be late if not, but there is already a passenger, so he asks how?
"No problem," says the man in the corvette, "I’ve got a rope in the back and we’ll tie your bike to the back bumper and you can ride."
The man says, "Ok!"
They take off and the driver yells back, "Just yell beep beep if I’m going to fast."
No problem the man thinks.
They come to an Intersection and a Ferrari pulls up, the man’s eye’s widen in fright.
Sure enough, the light changes and they're off!
Anyway, the guy made it to his brothers on time and the Vette lost.
Meanwhile, at the local police dept:
"Hey guys the weirdest thing just happened to me. A Ferrari and a Vette just lost me at over 120 mph on Main Street."
"What’s so weird about that?" asks the other cops.
The first cop says, "There was this old guy on a bike behind them screaming beep beep and trying to pass!"
3 things which change women:
1) I love U
2) I liquidated to your account
3) U have lost weight
The last one had been some fatalities!
I changed my password to "incorrect", so anytime I forget and enter the wrong thing, the computer tells me what it is.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mike was going to be married to Karen so his Father sat him down for a little chat...
He said, 'Mike, let me tell you something.
On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants, handed them to your Mother, and said, Here, try these on.''
She did and said, 'These are too big.
I can't wear them.'
I replied, 'Exactly.. I wear the pants in
this family and I always will.'
Ever since that night, we have
never had any problems.
'Hmmm,' said Mike. He thought that might be a good thing to try.
So....On his honeymoon, Mike took off his pants and said to Karen, 'Here, try these on..!
She tried them on and said, 'These are too large. They don't fit me.'
Mike said, 'Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will.
I don't want you to ever forget that.'
Then Karen took off her p**... and handed them to Mike. She said, 'Here, you try on mine !
Mike did and said,
'I can't get into your p**....'
Karen said, 'Exactly.
And if you don't change your smart-a**... attitude, you never will.'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Courtesy of my black high school ethics teacher.
A black man and a white woman are out on a date for the first time. Things are going well and the woman is dying to take the man home. She has never been with a black man before and all of her friends keep telling her how get it is.
She's aggressively flirting with him all night and eventually suggests that they go back to her apartment. He agrees and they grab a cab. By the time they get there, the woman is so hot to trot that she practically shoves him through the front door.
She takes him to her bedroom and then heads into the bathroom to change into s**... l**.... Thinking about the man in the other room and imagining what how big he could be, the woman gets so turned on she can barely stand it. Finally she feels prepared. Burning with desire, she steps out of the bathroom and tells him: "Alright, now show me what you black men are known for!"
So the man grabs her TV and runs out the door.
A big, scary looking biker walks into a bar
He sits down at the bar, and the bartender says "what'll ya have?" The biker says "gimme a beer."
The bartender hands him a beer, and says "that'll be 3.50." The biker pulls out 350 pennies and scatters them all over the table.
The next evening, the exact same thing happens, and it continues for a couple of weeks until one day, the biker decides to pay with a 5 dollar bill.
The bartender is relieved to not have to pick up 350 pennies this evening, and she decides to give the biker a taste of his own medicine. She gets 150 pennies, drops them in front of the biker and says "your change, big boy!"
The biker pulls out 200 pennies, drops them on the table and says "another beer, please."
Hopefully this isn't a repost, but I love this one.
A group of men are changing in locker room at a golf club. Suddenly a cell phone on the bench starts to ring, and a man puts it on speaker phone as he continues getting dressed. He says "Hello?", the woman on the other line says "Honey, it's me. Are you still at the golf club?"
"Yeah, what's going on?"
"I'm out shopping and found this great new leather coat, and it's only $500 dollars, can I get it?"
"Sure, if you like it"
"Thank you! I was also at the dealership earlier and saw the new Mercedes models, and there is one that's absolutely gorgeous, and I really want it!"
"How much is it?"
"About $80,000..."
"Alright, but for that price I want all the extra options included."
"Great! One other thing. The house we wanted last year is back on the market, but they're asking for 1,500,000."
"Well, go ahead and make them an offer, but don't go above 1,250,000."
"Really? Okay! I love you, see you later!"
"Love you too."
The rest of the men in the club stare at him wide eyed. As he hangs up the phone he looks at the men and asks "Anyone know whose phone this is?"
God calls in an Albanian, a Grecian, and a Serbian for a quick reckoning.
God has realized that things aren't going so well in the general vicinity of the Balkans so he calls up an Albanian, a Grecian, and a Serbian to convince them to change their ways.
First he calls in the Grecian and says to them, "Your people have become so lazy in recent years! You're ruining everything I gave you! If you don't clean up your act, I'm going to push this here button and rain judgment on all of you." The Grecian runs out crying and afraid for the future of their people.
The Serbian is called in and God says, "Your people have been really aggressive and racist in recent years! You're ruining everything I gave you! If you don't clean up your act, I'm going to push this here button and rain judgment on all of you." The Serbian runs out fuming and angered about the future of their people.
The Albanian is finally called in and God says, "Your people are such thieves! You're stealing everything I gave to everyone else! If you don't clean up your act, I'm going to push this here button and rain judgment on all of you." The Albanian comes out smiling and the Grecian and Serbian ask them, "Didn't God say he would rain judgment on your people? Why are you smiling?"
To which the Albanian replies, "Yeah of course he did! But don't tell anyone that I've stolen his button."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Paraprosdokians
*A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but they also play on the double meaning of a particular word, creating a form of syllepsis.*
Where there's a will ... I want to be in it.
I like going to the park and watching the children run around ... because they don't know I'm using blanks. (Emo Philips)
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
You can always count on the Americans to do the right thing ... after they have tried everything else. (Winston Churchill)
I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:' ... I put 'DOCTOR'.
If I am reading this graph correctly ... I'd be very surprised. (Stephen Colbert)
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
I don't belong to an organized political party. I'm a Democrat. (Will Rogers)
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. (Groucho Marx)
You're never too old to learn ...something s**....
Jacques and Pierre
Jacques was driving much too fast on the highway with Pierre in the passenger seat. Jacques looked down for a second to change the radio station and hit a pothole. The car was sent hurtling towards the roadside trees, and crashed into a particular large one. Both Jacques and Pierre were ejected from the car.
Jacques came to surrounded by emergency responders, the first thing he asked was, "Where is Pierre?" The responders didn't know because they did not know another person was in the vehicle.
"You must go look for him!" exclaimed Jacques, concerned for his friend. So as Jacques was being treated on scene, a few responders went into the woods to search. A minute or two later, one of them walked out looking grim, and holding a decapitated head in his hands.
He goes up to Jacques and says, "I'm sorry to have to do this sir, but is this your friend Pierre?"
Jacques shook his head, saying "Can't be. Pierre is much taller than that!"
Is anyone else having problems with their spellchecker?
Mine keeps correcting into weird things. Like changing "my" into "me", "money" into "gold pieces" and the letter x into "here be treasure". It's a pirate copy.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
4 men on a sinking boat
On a trip to the sea, an American, a Russian, a Mexican and an Irishman were sailing on the boat. In the middle of the rough ocean, the boat, unable to carry so much weight, started to sink.
"We have to do something!" yelled the Russian man. "Let us each throw some of our things off the boat to reduce our total weight." He went to his backpack of v**..., grabbed it, and tossed it off the boat. "We got so much v**... back in Mother Russia, a little v**... gone won't change anything!"
The Irishman followed suit. He grabbed his barrel of booze and rolled it off the boat. "We got so much liquor back in Ireland, a little liquor gone won't change anything!"
The American pushed the Mexican off the boat.
Why did the old pirate decide to give up a-plunderin?
He just wanted to move on, start a new chapter in his life. Sometimes things happen like this, and it's a nice reminder that we are all capable of change. Sure it's tough, some people in your life might move on from how they used to be - but this doesn't mean they don't love you anymore. The pirate may stop a-plunderin, but he's still the same person. He's still your friend. He'll always be there for you.
Got Change?
An elderly couple is in financial dire straits. Their pension is running out and things are starting to look desperate.
After several pointless job interviews and attempting to sell some junk from the attic, they reach the sad conclusion that the only hope they have is for the wife to sell her "favors" on the street.
And so, in the morning, the wife leaves the house and doesn't come back until late at night. Her husband is anxiously waiting at the door.
"So, how much did you make?" he asks.
"$719.25", she replies before collapsing on the couch.
"Wha...? Who paid you with a quarter?!?"
"Everybody."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the worst thing about a woman's p**...?
Your nuts hang out the side.
A homeless guy told me this joke in exchange for pocket change
Neighbor got the key
Little Peter was asking his dad: What is that thing that mom has between her legs.
Dad: Son, that is the door to the paradise.
Son; What is thing that you have between your legs.
Dad: Son, this is the key that opens the door to the paradise.
Few days later son runs to his dad: Dad ,you have to change the key. The neighbor already got the copy.
God, grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I can not change. The COURAGE to change the things I can
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Fella rescued a damsel in distress.
Fella was heading home when he saw a lady beside the road with a flat tire. Being kind hearted, Fella stopped to change the tire for her. Lady was so thankful she invited Fella back to her place for a thank you drink. One thing lead to another and soon they were in the sack together. He realized the time and jumped up with a start. Running around getting his clothes on, he said, "What am I going to tell my wife?" "Wait, do you have any baby powder" he asked. "Certainly" she replied. He dusted his hands with the powder and headed home.
Walking in the door, he was greeted by his wife demanding to know where he had been. So he told her the truth, how he had stopped to change a woman's tire then wound up spending the afternoon in bed with her.
His wife looked at him for a moment, then grabbed his hands looking at them. She screamed at him, "You s**..., you spent the day playing pool again, didn't you?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An abstinent blonde and her boyfriend...
An abstinent blonde and her boyfriend are about to celebrate their one year anniversary. She wants to do something special for him that night, and decides that she wants to go down on him, but alas has no experience. She asks her friend for advice, who then hands her a banana and says "Here, practice with this."
Sure enough, the blonde girls peels the banana and goes to town on it like a d**... professional. Her friend says "See, you're doing great! Don't change a thing!"
The next day the blonde's friend calls her up, eager to hear how everything went. "How did everything go?" She asks.
The blonde says "Pretty great. Didn't know there would be that much screaming and blood though."
"Blood?" Her friend asks, "Where did the blood come from?"
"The peeling."
One thing won't change for Jared Fogle while in prison
He will still be eating 6" to 12" daily.
Police ride along
A friend of mine who was an officer invited me for a ride along. As we were driving along he told me: "I've been a cop for almost 20 years now. I can follow anyone, and I mean anyone for just 1 mile down the road and I can find something I can cite them for."
I said prove it, so he started following the next guy he saw. After a mile he said "I can't believe it, he didn't do a single thing wrong. I'm going to pull him over and let him know."
He pulls the guy over, goes up to him and says "Sir, I'm sorry I pulled you over. I just wanted to compliment you. I followed you for a while and not once did you speed, change lanes without signaling, or do anything else deserving of a citation. I rarely see this so I wanted to thank you for you safe driving."
The guy looks up at him and replies: "Well, you've got to be careful when you're drunk."
I guess some things will never change...
I hired a temp while my secretary was on maternity leave.
Trying to arrive at an agreeable wage, I asked what she expected to earn.
She said, "Well... the minimum I could work for is $400 a week.
"I told her I'd give her that much with pleasure. She shook her head and replied,
"With pleasure, it'll be $600 a week."
A man hears the phone ringing...
A man hears the phone ringing while he is in his sports team change room, he picks it up.
"Hey honey, I saw a really nice dress for $1000, can I buy it? It looks really nice" said the voice.
"Sure, go ahead if you like it so much" the man says.
"Thanks, and also the car we looked at last week for $89,000, no one else is buying it, can I buy it? It's really fuel efficient" the voice replies"
"You can buy that too" the man replies again.
"Thank you, just one last thing, the house we looked at last month has dropped from $1.5 million to $1.4, I'm sure it'll be fine, can I buy that too?" the voice responds.
"You may buy the house" the man says.
"Thank you so much honey" the voice says then hangs up.
Astonished the mans teammates are looking at the man, eyes wide and mouth open. The man looks at them holding the phone out and asks "Does anyone know who's phone this is?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Underwear stuff
So my uncle leans in close to my 7 year old cousin, and with all the seriousness in the world, asks him "if there's one thing you could change in your life, what would it be?" And without a moments hesitation, the little brat goes "me u**...".
One thing changed when I switched from teaching math to teaching computer classes.
When students left at the end of class, I used to say, "Calcu-later!" Now I say "CPU later!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A drunk staggered up to the h**...
A drunk staggered up to the hotel reception desk and demanded his room be changed.
"But sir," said the clerk, "you have the best room in the hotel."
"I insist on another room!!" said the drunk.
"Very good, sir. I'll change you from 502 to 555. Would you mind telling me why you don't like 502?" asked the clerk.
"Well, for one thing," said the drunk, "it's on fire."
What does Harry Potter cast to stop big oil companies?
A ballot because voting is the ONLY WAY TO CHANGE THINGS!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two old dudes are sitting on a park bench discussing their youth and how things have changed. One says to the other one, "these days there is premarital s**..., extramarital s**..., swinging... I never had premarital s**... with my wife, did you?"
The other thinks for a moment and says "What was her maiden name again?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A grade school teacher asks her students what their parents do for a living.
Billy proudly stands up and announces, "My daddy plays piano in a w**...."
The teacher is aghast and promptly changes the subject. Later that day, she calls Billy's mother and explains what Billy said.
Billy's mother says, "Actually, his father's an attorney, but how can we explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"
Want to know the best thing about climate change?
Even if you don't believe in it, it's still happening.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When my wife and I got married,
we mutually decided to each select that one person who we'd most like to have s**... with and, if by some miracle, it happened, the other wouldn't get angry. She picked Brad Pitt and I went with Uma Thurman (Uma!!). For our 20th anniversary, I thought it would be fun to change things up and she agreed. So, she picked George Clooney and I chose the next door neighbor.
I was amazed
As I get older, I never stop learning new things every day. I'm a new dad and the other day I was changing my baby when all of a sudden my kid rolls off of the changing table. As if animal instincts kicked into me in that split moment, or super powers of sorts, I swoop down with lightning speed and catch him INCHES off of the ground! Still to this day I'm amazed; I had no idea babies could bounce that high off of marbled flooring.
After a heavy night at the pub, a drunken man decides to sleep off his drunkenness at a local hotel.
He approaches the reception desk, takes care of the formalities and heads off to his suite. Several minutes later, the drunk staggers back to the reception desk and demands his room be changed. "But sir," said the clerk, "you have the best room in the hotel." "I insist on another room!!!" said the drunk. "Very good, sir. I'll change you from 502 to 525. Would you mind telling me why you don't like 502?" asked the clerk. "Well, for one thing," said the drunk, "it's on fire."
Caitlyn Jenner would make a really great president..
Because she knows how to change things
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Aliens visit, and their first question is: "what's changed in the last 3000 years?"
Aliens: "what's changed in the last 3000 years?"
Humans: "well, we were worshipping cats, drinking beer, and smoking w**...... and then we made it to developing technology that can destroy this entire planet, and pretty soon we'll have unlimited energy from that tech."
Aliens: "Impressive. Good thing you stopped worshipping cats, drinking beer, and smoking w**...."
Humans:
Last year I was miserable and depressed. This year I decided to make a change and turn things around.
Now I'm depressed and miserable :'(
I was out shopping tonight, when I saw a new brand of condoms called, "Olympic." Trying to get in to the spirit of things, I bought a pack and when I got home, I sprinted in singing the Olympic theme song and proudly showed them to my wife...
"Olympic condoms!?" she asked. "What makes them so special? Are we only going to use them once every four years?!"
Chuckling, I replied, "No,no! You see, there are three colors, Gold, Silver and Bronze!"
"What color are you going to wear tonight?" she asked cheekily.
"Gold of course!" I said proudly.
She retorted, "Really?! Why don't you wear Silver, it would be nice if you came second for a change!"
Me and my old friend, Razor used to hang out a lot
Until things started getting a little dull, even after his last change
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many German engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one. They are really good at technical things, and have no sense of humor.
A drunk staggered down to a hotel reception
He was demanding a change of room. He was so insistent that the receptionist was forced to call the manager.
"What seems to be the problem?" asked the manager
"I want another room" said the drunk
"But I see you're in room 224. That's one of the best rooms in the hotel."
"I don't care. I want another room"
"Very well, sir. If you're absolutely adamant, we can move you from 224 to 260. But would you mind telling me what you don't like about your room?"
"Well" said the drunk, "for one thing, it's on fire"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
They said I had to change because I overcomplicated things..
So I gave my life a 540 **°** turn.
What's the best thing to say when someone farts?
Your voice has changed, but your breath hasn't.
If I could change two hundred things about myself...
Being self-critical would probably be one.
My wife thinks I should talk about things that bother me and how I am feeling instead of trying to change the subject
But I just don't think we are gonna get as much snow as they say this winter.
With more and more dumb climate change jokes
You could say things are really starting to heat up.
How many battered wives does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They just keep putting the broken one back in because it promised things would be different this time.
My wife told me I need to change two things this year, or she's filing for divorce.
First - I need to become a better listener.
I don't remember what the second thing was.
Things really change when you grow up
For instance, nobody tells me I did a good job when I finish all my food!
The Communist Party changed things so that China uses single time zone.
It's always Party time.
I just found out about these things called "mods" that can alter game files.
They're absolutely game changing.
The funniest but meanest thing I heard a parent say to his kid on her birthday.
Forget about the past, you can't change it.
Forget about the future, you can't predict it.
Forget about the present, I didn't get you one.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An elephant is standing on a street corner with an e**....
His thing is HUGE, hangs all the way to the ground.
At that moment a mother is taking her son to school and the son looks at the elephant and says "Mommy what is that?"
Mom: "Oh that's the trunk honey"
Kid: "No mom, further back between the legs"
Mom: "Oh that? That's nothing...." and awkwardly changes the subject.
The next day, same elephant in the same condition is on the corner only this time the dad is taking the kid to school.
Kid: "Hey dad, what is that? It's not the the trunk and it's not the legs, it's in between the legs. Mommy says that's nothing."
The dad thinks for a second and then laughs, "Yeah well, mommy is spoiled."
If you work really hard one day things are going to change
Youll finally be recognized for doing twice the work in half the time and now everyone has half the time to do twice the work
Mid life career change
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "So what do you do?" the bartender chats him up. "Well I used to work in food service, but I just got a new job in IT," the guy says. "How was it changing careers?" the bartender asks. "Well, you know, a job is a job. I guess the biggest difference is that the phase 'My server went down on me,' is no longer a good thing," the guy replies.
My wife is a paralegal and said there's no such thing as "paralegal jokes," here's my attempt: How many paralegals does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Four. One to screw in the bulb, one to log the bulb paperwork into the system, one to draft a summary on the changing of the bulb, and one to submit a report confirming the other two submitted their reports.
My girlfriend has always been a bit on the heavy side
One morning, while standing in front of the mirror together she asked me if she should change anything in her life. I said, go workout and lose 20-30 pounds, it would change you for the better. At that moment, the sheer passion I saw in her eyes I will never forget.
After the first day, I didn't see anything. To be expected of course, these things take time. Three days later, nothing. A week later, nothing. Two weeks later, and I finally started to see something. Thank god for that, I thought she knocked the light out of my eyes for good.
There is a road nearby called Berlin Street.
True story, and not quite a joke, but this just happened. All I can say is our daughter pays a lot of attention to things. Anyway, I needed to drop off a letter, and asked my wife, "Isn't the post office on Berlin Street?"
"Yes, but I think I heard it's actually pronounced BERL-in, not ber-LIN. The city changed the pronunciation around World War II due to unwanted association with Germany."
Then my 4-year old daughter said, fully serious, "is that why we say POOPIN' instead of POOTIN'?"
Mom I think I'm adopted!
Mom: No you're not Nathan! Why would you say such a thing!?
Nathan: Well, I've just got the results back from a DNA test that I did and it says I've got no living relatives?!
Mom: This is nonsense, let's show this to your dad…
Dad *walks in*: Well of course he's not our son, don't you remember the first night in the labour ward after you gave birth… you asked me to change him because he was crying so much? I think I picked a good one don't you?
