Comical Housing Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land
Do you remember when you were a kid and whenever you cried, your parents would say, I'll give you a reason to cry!?"
I always thought they were going to hit me, not that they were going to destroy the housing market 20 years later.
Why are housing prices in Toronto falling?
Because the market got flooded.
A banjo player returns home after a gig one evening...
Parking his car by his housing, he realizes he forgot to bring in with him his banjo from the backseat. He let's it go, thinking it'll probably be there in the morning still. Next morning he approaches his car, and notices that the rear window of his car has been smashed in! Uproared, he rushes to the car, and what does he find once he gets there? Two banjos in the backseat.
Anyone wanna buy some housing in Baltimore with me?
I hear there's a fire sale
Did you hear about the housing prices in Baltimore?
I hear they're a riot!
What do you call a group of 10 insects that live in a housing complex?
Tenants
Did you hear how Mexico announced it's solving their country's housing crisis?
The Mexican government has decided to build apartment
Why do some people like to fight?
Because they are used to rough housing
Did you hear about the new housing being built where dwarves can live at no charge?
It's called the "Stayfree Mini Pad"
I'm thinking of starting a business will use free child labor in exchange for temporary housing.
Although I don't know if I can compete with the Girl Scouts...
Remember when we cried as kids and our parents said, "I'll give you something to cry about"
We thought they were going to hit us but instead they destroyed the housing market.
You can explore housing homes reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean housing yo mama house is so small dad jokes. There are also housing puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
If Trump replaces Obama as president,
Then it will be the first time a white billionaire moves into government subsidized housing after a black family moved out.
If Trump is elected president...
He will be the first billionaire to move into government housing after a black man.
If Trump gets elected...
...it will be the first time in History that a billionaire moves into public housing vacated by a black family.
If Trump becomes president...
It would be the first instance of a white billionaire k**... a black family out of public housing.
A Syrian r**... was telling our journalist about his love of extreme sports. The journalist then asked what he thought of his r**... housing.
"It's in Tents."
Why was Trump excited to move into the Whitehouse?
Because he loves k**... black families out of government funded housing!
Japan's economy crashed in the 90s because their housing bubble was so bad, the Imperial Palace was worth all the land in California.
I *wish* houses out here could still be that cheap!
What an age we live in...
... when a family of billionaires moves into government subsidized housing previously occupied by black people.
Obama proved a black man can even be president..
And that no matter how high up a black man gets he can't get out of government housing!
As part of the alignment of strategy for cabinet departments, Trump announced to congress his plan for housing vouchers
Redeemable for a cardboard box behind Safeway.
You gotta love the baby boomers though, they gave us housing
To look at
90's kids won't get this 😂😂
Affordable housing prices
What was the favorite food of lenders during the housing bubble?
Subprime ribs.
I once had a run in with some portable nylon housing...
...it was tents.
Why is the real estate market in Gungan City so bad?
The housing bubbles burst
Been thinking of buying property in Syria...
heard the housing markets been booming.
Gingerbread:
Bringing you project housing that doesn't make you sad!
What do you call a group of Islamic people living in poor housing?
Muslums
My buddy gave me an inside tip on real estate in Hawaii
Yeah I guess the housing mark is really hot right now.
The new Space Force is going to cost the government billions in unforeseen expenses.
The military housing allowance will go through the roof because the cost of living in space is astronomical.
The easiest way to passive income and free housing benefits
Prison
The housing market depression made my house so sad...
It cuts it's own value.
I've been thinking about moving to California
I heard the housing market's on fire right now
Did you hear that Ball Corporation got into the housing industry? Trouble is, their doors won't stay shut.
Must be because they're ajar.
An unpaid internship is nothing like actual slavery
Slaves are given food and housing.
The university president was inconsolable when the wing housing social sciences and languages burned down.
"Oh, the Humanities!" he cried.
Look guys, age is just a number.
And a prison cell is just free housing.
Q: What do you get when you drag a $1000 bill in the housing projects?
A: An Oregon Ducks recruiting trip.
Q: What do you get when you drag a $1000 bill in the housing projects?
A: So they can park in the handicap spaces.
Remember crying as a kid and your parents told you 'I'll give you something to cry about!'
and you expected a beating but instead they just ruined the housing market?
To teach my kids about capitalism...
...I made them pay for housing, food, and charged them to use the bathroom.
Then if they wanted to make any money, I had them compete against each other for who could do chores for the least amount of money.
Then when they unionised, I had the neighbour's kid do chores instead and gave them nothing.
The White House has become low income housing and it's main tenant is a broke, deadbeat
There goes the neighborhood!
What is a welfare queen?
You live in government housing, five kids by three baby mamas, and the IRS after you
If we want Congress to agree we should just replace the people with horses
Sure the neighs would carry every vote. But hay, at least the housing market would be stable.
I'll show myself out
I hear it's a good time to buy real estate in Texas!
The housing market is flooded.
I've got a great idea for tax evasion
Apparently if you don't pay your taxes the government will give you free housing free food and a roommate
A Racehorse walks into a bar...
The Bartender says, "Why the long face, your housing seems stable and your life seems on track?"
Insurance Proceeds
A doctor vacationing on the Riviera ran into an old lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there.
The lawyer replied, Remember that run down industrial building I bought? Well, it caught fire, so here I am with the fire insurance proceeds.
"What are you doing here? Inquired the lawyer.
Remember multi-family housing I had in Mississippi? Well, the river overflowed, and here I am with the flood insurance proceeds.
Puzzled the lawyer asked, how'd you start the flood?
