Housekeeper Jokes
36 housekeeper jokes and hilarious housekeeper puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about housekeeper that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a good laugh? Check out our collection of funny housekeeper jokes. From clean jokes to dirty jokes, we've got 'em all!
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Funniest Housekeeper Short Jokes
Short housekeeper jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The housekeeper humour may include short housewife jokes also.
- Prince's housekeeper of 30 years was offered a job as a crime scene investigator. She was considered highly qualified due to her decades of experience dusting for Prince.
- A woman tells her friend: - I'm a perfect housekeeper! ...every time I divorce, I keep the house!
- At night after a long power outage, the lights finally came back on in Charlize Theron's house. When the lights returned, her housekeeper exclaimed:
Charlize, they're on! - I confronted my housekeeper after she lied about servicing my house. I just wanted her to come clean.
- I'm trying to convince my wife that we should become polygamists. If we married a housekeeper, baby sitter, and landscaper, we wouldn't have to pay them.
- I saw on the news Boy George's bearded dragon has attacked and bitten his housekeeper 6 times in the last month I reckon he needs a calmer chameleon.
- I posted an ad for a housekeeper last week. Job description: Make my house great again
Nobody's called at all. - In the mornings, after my housekeeper meticulously makes my bed, I like to ride my Peloton bike in the window of my high rise and literally look down my nose at people.
- You know how doctors have the hypocratic oath Housekeepers have one too, they call it the lemon pledge ^^^^ im sorry
- What does Lil Jon say when housekeeping comes by? TURNDOWN FOR WHAT?
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Housekeeper One Liners
Which housekeeper one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with housekeeper? I can suggest the ones about house keeping and house husband.
- My ex-wife was a great housekeeper She kept the house.
- So I finally got a housekeeper, it's my ex-wife. She kept the house.
- My ex wives were all good housekeepers.. ..When they left, they kept the house.
- I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
- I quit the mafia to become a housekeeper Now I'm a maid man.
- My first wife was a great housekeeper. She kept both houses
- My ex-wife was a great housekeeper When we got divorced she kept the house
- My wife is an excellent housekeeper! Kept the house after divorce...
- Why did Helen Keller fire her housekeeper? She left the plunger in the toilet.
- All of my ex-wives were good housekeepers Every time I got a divorce they kept the house.
- I forgot to tell my housekeeper about my guard dogs. The dog ate my home worker.
- Why are wives also called a housekeeper? Because after the divorce, they keep the house
- I'm a really great housekeeper... I marry men, divorce them, and then keep the house!
- Housekeeping asked if I wanted turn down service I asked turn down for what?
- My house just became a housekeeper after our divorce. T ^ T
Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Housekeeper Jokes with Friends.
What funny jokes about housekeeper you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean house cleaning jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make housekeeper pranks.
A housekeeper approached the lady of the house to ask for a raise...
And why would you deserve a raise, may I ask? , said the wealthy homeowner.
3 reasons: Because I'm a better cook than you are , said the maid.
Who told you that?
Your husband. And I'm also better at cleaning.
Who told you that?
Also your husband.
And the third reason why you think I should give you a raise?
Because I'm a LOT better in bed than you.
Hmmm... did my husband tell you that, too?
No, ma'am... the gardener.
An elderly Rabbi and an elderly Priest are good friends in the retirement home.
One day the priest asks, "So tell me, Benjamin, be honest now, have you ever had bacon?" The old rabbi sighs and leans back, "Ashamedly yes. One day, In my youth, I gave into temptation and had bacon wrapped shrimp with cheese sauce....Now tell me Sean, be honest now, have you ever had s**...?" The old priest sighs, leans back and says, "For my sins, yes. Once, in my youth, I gave into temptation and had a one night stand my housekeeper." The Rabbi leans in closer, "It's better than bacon, isn't it."
A rich couple lost all their money and was trying to think of ways to restore their fortunes.
The husband says to the wife if you learn to cook, we could get rid of the housekeeper
She laughed and replied if you learned to please me in bed, we could get rid of the gardener
A man named Arnold offers his newly married son advice on long lasting marriage
"The key, my boy, is to have daily s**..."
"But dad, you and mom don't even sleep on the same bed anymore," replies his son
"I was getting to that," continues Arnold, "tip numba two, get a hot housekeeper."
TIL: Neo-n**... are some of the biggest employers of Mexican housekeepers.
They are real fans of ethnic cleansing.
I woke up in the hotel room and the housekeeper was b**... on the door, just b**....
Finally, I had to get up and let her out.
