Household Jokes
60 household jokes and hilarious household puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about household that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover some hilarious jokes related to household items, chores, and appliances. From domestic duties to the hazards of the kitchen, have a chuckle at some light-hearted quips on our daily lives. Make the mundane more enjoyable with a few jokes about chard, crops and more!
Quick Jump To
- Short Household Jokes
- Household One Liners
- Household Appliances Jokes
- Household Chores Jokes
- More Household Jokes
Funniest Household Short Jokes
Short household jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The household humour may include short housework jokes also.
- I offer my kids $500 for every A on their report card.It sends the message that education is a priority in our household. And it costs me absolutely nothing since my kids aren't that bright.
- I grew up in a religious household and I used to pray and ask God for a bicycle As I got older I learned that God and praying didn't work this way. So I stole a bicycle and ask God to forgive me
- Answer: Christopher Walken Question: Whats something you'll never see at the Reeve household?
- "With people now being able to decide their own gender, how do you feel about people who identify as household appliances?" "I'm certainly not a big fan."
- In the 1930s, the Italians developed an engine fuel technology that used household spices. It's true. Mussolini made the trains run on thyme
- Two blondes are at an CD store. One is buying a DVD. Blonde 1: Oh, what's that DVD about?
Blonde 2: It's how to repair household items!
Blonde 1: What do you need to repair?
Blonde 2: My DVD player - In germany after the succes of Uber and Ubereats a new app is rising under elderly folk for finding people to help in your household They're calling it Ubermensch
- Amazing times We live in a time where household fixtures and appliances can be delivered right to your front door with but a click...
Let that sink in. - If you keep a rocket in your home the chances of having a household incident go through the roof
- A new survey claims that 74% of Louisiana households are now considered overweight The rest just don't see it as a problem.
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Household One Liners
Which household one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with household? I can suggest the ones about house keeping and domestic.
- In a progressively incestuous household... ...it's about upping the auntie
- Studies show that more Americans watch television... than any other household appliance.
- Why do Brides wear white? To match the rest of the household appliances.
- What is de most enjoyable household appliance? De light.
- What do you get when you cross an automobile with a household animal? A very upset child.
- It's sad when horses get divorced I guess their kids won't have a *stable* household.
- Top 10 household items you can use to get high! 1. Ladder
- We need a new vacuum cleaner in our household. The one we've got just collects dust.
- Yes i do come from a musical household i live in... ...A-Flat
- What has no beginning, middle, or end? The family household cold season.
- Why didn't the household items invite the key to the party? It was too door key.
- You won't believe these 12 household electrical hazards. Numbers 1-12 will shock you!
- What do you call a reptile that ruins household appliances? A crack-a-dial
- What's a surfers least favourite household appliance? A Microwave.
- Why did the household cleaning products all hate bleach? Because she was just so basic.
Household Appliances Jokes
Here is a list of funny household appliances jokes and even better household appliances puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- If Iron Man were the household appliance, his alter ego would be Tony Starch. #ShowerThoughts
- Why are wedding dresses white? Because other household appliances also are.
- Why does the bride wear white? 'cause household appliances always come in white.
- I hate my dodgy household appliances... My hairdryer s**... and my vaccum blows.
- What's my least favorite household appliance? Vacuum cleaners. They s**....
Household Chores Jokes
Here is a list of funny household chores jokes and even better household chores puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Liam Neeson's wife asks him to do some household chores Taken: Out the Garbage
Silly Household Jokes for a Good Time with Friends
What funny jokes about household you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean house husband jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make household pranks.
A man admitted he lied on his income tax return: he listed himself as the head of the household!
I heard we like Native American jokes.
Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with
his ear to the ground.
One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, "You see
that Indian?"
"Yeah," says the other cowboy.
"Look," says the first one, "he's listening to the ground.
He can hear things for miles in any direction."
Just then the Indian looks up. "Covered wagon," he says,
"about two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white.
Man, woman, child, household effects in wagon."
"Incredible!" says the cowboy to his friend. "This Indian
knows how far away they are, how many horses, what color they
are, who is in the wagon, and what is in the wagon. Amazing!"
The Indian looks up and says, "Ran over me about a
half hour ago."
A family of hunter-gatherers sits down to dinner
The daughter, the youngest member of the family, complains, "There's a hair in my soup!"
"Well," replies her father, the hunter of the household, "technically, it's a rabbit."
You know what was the biggest travesty to come out of the OJ Simpson m**... Trial?
It made Kardashian a house-hold name.
Did you hear about the parrot who lives in a bilingual household?
It speaks a pidgin language.
h**... really messed up my household...
All the spoons are missing.
And then the fight started.
A son asked his mother the following question: 'Mom, why are wedding dresses white?'
The mother looks at her son and replies: 'Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure.'
The son thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this with his father.
'Dad why are wedding dresses white?'
The father looks at his son in surprise and says:
'Son, all household appliances come in white..
Cutting down personal expenses
The business man was worried about his personal finances after a few sloppy years and thought to himself that he'd better start cutting down on private expenses.
Therefore he turned to his wife and said:
"Honey, if you could learn to cook and clean, we wouldn't need our household services."
The wife replied: "Sure. And if you could learn to satisfy me, we wouldn't need the gardener either."
I have Apple appliances in every room of my home.
In addition everyone in my household owns an iPhone, iPad or both. We are pretty diligent about keeping all of the devices synchronized with each other. All, except for some reason, the kitchen.
I guess you could say, everything but the kitchen's synch'd.
A blind man and his seeing eye dog enter a department store
In the middle of the household items aisle he suddenly stops, grabs his dog by the hind legs and swings him around above his head a couple of times.
Alarmed, the assistant manager comes running and exclaims "Sir! Sir! What are you doing?"
"Oh, just looking around", says the blind man
A son asked his mother, "Why are wedding dresses white?"
She replied, "It shows your friends and relatives that the bride is pure."
Then the son went and asked the same question to his father.
"All household appliances come in white," said his father.
You know what s**... the most about being a democrat in a republican household?
If you try to address the Elephants in the room, you end up making an a**... of yourself
My wife decided to trim our household budget wherever possible, so instead of having a dress dry-cleaned she washed it by hand...
Proud of her savings, she boasted We're are five dollars richer because I washed this dress by hand.
I replied, Good, wash it again!
A couples happy married life almost went on the rocks because of the presence in the household of old Aunt Emma.
For seventeen long years she lived with them, always crotchety, always demanding.
Finally the old girl passed away.
On the way back from the cemetery, the husband confessed to his wife, "Darling, if I didn't love you so much, I don't think I would have put up with having your Aunt Emma in the house all those years."
His wife looked at him aghast... "My Aunt Emma?" she cried, "I thought she was your Aunt Emma!"
My husband is best
3 wives are conversing….first says my husband is best: he cooks food and takes care of kids.
Second says my husband is best: he does all the household chores and spoils me with presents every day.
Third one says shut up! I have the best husband-he goes to therapy 6days in a week and all he talks about is me.
We celebrate Christmas early in our household.
We have to, I'm usually s**... by noon.
A couples happy married life almost went on the rocks because...
... of the presence in the household of old Aunt Emma. For seventeen long years she lived with them, always crotchety, always demanding. Finally, the old girl passed away. On the way back from the cemetery, the husband confessed to his wife "Darling, if I didn't love you so much, I don't think I would have put up with having your Aunt Emma in the house all those years". His wife looked at him aghast. "\*MY\* Aunt Emma!" she cried. "I thought she was \*YOUR\* Aunt Emma!"
