house of blues Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious house of blues puns

Blue Guy lives in the blue house, red guy lives in the red house, purple guy lives in the purple house, orange guy...

Lives in the White House.

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If the blue man lives in the blue house, the green man lives in the green house, and the red man lives in the red house, then who lives in the white house?

The orange man

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5 year old cousin with this one: Who lives in the green house?

Me: I don't know

Her: The green guy! Who lives in the red house?

Me: The red guy

Her: Yes! Who lives in the blue house?

Me: The blue guy

Her: Yeah! Who lives in the yellow house?

Me: The yellow guy

Her: Who lives in the white house?

[Now since I've heard this "riddle" before, I knew the trick answer. I was ready to answer The President! when my uncle blurted out:]

The black guy!!

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The Fishing Trip

On Friday afternoon, a man calls home to his wife and says, "Honey I have been asked to go on a fishing trip with my boss. We'll be gone a week. This is a great chance for me to work on that promotion! Would you please pack some clothes for me and set out my rod and tackle box. I'll swing by the house to pick them up in an hour. Oh! And please pack my new blue pajamas."

The wife thinks this sounds a little fishy, but does exactly what her husband asked.

The following weekend the husband comes home very tired, tan and happy. The wife welcomes him home and asks if he has had a good time.

I did! he says as he carries his things into the bedroom. You wouldn't believe all the fish we caught! Some bass, some catfish, and a few trout.

As he tosses his suitcase onto the bed, his wife leans against the doorjamb.

"Really." She says.

Yup, he says. Then he glances up at her, By the way, why didn't you pack my new blue pajamas like I asked?"

The wife crosses her arms and replies, "I did. They're in your tackle box."

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The Five Stages of Sex

1st is Smurf sex. This is where you do it until you're both blue in
the face.

2nd is kitchen sex. This is the honeymoon phase where you do it in
every room of the house, including the kitchen.

3rd is bedroom sex. This is after you've been married for a while,
maybe have a couple of kids, so you do it in the bedroom.

4th is hallway sex. This is where you pass one another in the hallway
and say, "Screw you".

The final stage is courtroom sex. This is where you go to court and
your wife screws you in front of everyone in the courtroom.

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A joke my little sister thought of today

A blue man lives in the blue house, a purple man lives in the purple house, a red man lives in the red house, who lives in the white house?

An orange man.

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If the green man lives in the green house, the yellow man lives in the yellow house, and the blue man lives in the blue house, who lives in the white house?

The orange man.

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REQUEST: Racist "White" jokes, please.

I know DOZENS of Racist Jokes. But only a couple (not very good) Racist White Jokes.

For example:
Did you hear about the 2 house fire in Mexico?
Thousands died.

Why do Mexican's drive low-riders?
So they can pick strawberries from their car.

A man walks into a Bar with a Parrot on his shoulder.
The Bartender says: "Wow, that's awesome! Where can I get one?"
The Parrot Replies: "Africa! There's millions of them!"

Seriously though: I love Black People.
I think everyone should own one.

How do Asians name their children?
They throw their pots and pans in their air and record the sounds:
Ping Bang Pow.

How do you blindfold an Asian?
With dental floss.

The only "White Joke" I know is:
White people are born purple.
Then turn pink.
When they're mad, they're red.
When they're sick they're green.
When they're scared they're yellow.
When they're cold they're blue.
And have the nerve to call everyone else colored.

So: Does anyone have any "White Jokes" for me?

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Drunken Scotsman

A Scotsman stumbles out of a bar and starts walking down the road to his house. Too drunk to make it there, he lays down on the side of the road in a field and passes out.

A woman is walking home and spots him there. She says to herself, "I wonder what he's hiding underneath that kilt." Looking around to make sure that no one sees here, she takes a peek. "No underwear, oh my!" After she's had her giggles, she says to herself, "I should do something to let him know that I was here."

She takes the blue ribbon from her hair and ties it around his dick, covering him with the kilt again.

The next morning the Scotsman wakes up and feels something funny under his kilt. He takes a look and says, "Well my lad, I don't know where we've been, but I see that you won first prize! 🏆

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I live in constant fear that Trump will deport my latina mother-in-law

Her address is 1837 3rd St, LA 90023, blue house. She gets off work at 6.

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Anyone kinkier than you is a pervert...

A newly divorced man was feeling depressed, his wife had left him because he was too kinky in bed for her. He decided to go to the local bar and drink his blues away.
While sitting at the bar, he noticed a pretty lady at the other end, also looking sad. He decided to go chat her up a bit. Much to his surprise, she was also newly divorced. Her husband left her because she was too kinky in bed. Thinking it was match made in heaven, they have a few drinks and go back to her house for some kinky sex.

When they walk in the door, she tells him to relax, she is going to go slip into something "more comfortable." A few minutes goes by, and she comes out dressed up in tight black leather, nipple clamps, ball gag, whips and chains. He has his coat on, and is about to walk out the door.

"Where are you going," she exclaimed, "I thought we were going to have some kinky sex?!"

"Well," he replied, "I just fucked your cat and shit in your purse...so I guess I'm done."

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If the Red Man lives in the red house, the Blue Man in the blue house, the Yellow Man in the yellow house, where does the Orange Man live?

The White House

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The blue man lives in the blue house, the green man lives in the green house...

Where does the orange man live?

In the White House!

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If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?

Glass

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The red house is made of red bricks. The blue house is made of blue bricks. What is the greenhouse made of?

Glass

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Eventually, after living a full life, Tom Brady dies and goes to heaven...

At the Pearly Gates, God tells Brady, "As a reward for such a fine football career I am giving you a house. Now, not everyone gets a house up here, in fact it's quite rare. Tom, consider this is a personal gift from the Lord your God." The Almighty shows him to his new home and Brady is somewhat taken aback. The tiny home is more a shack with a faded Patriots flag flying over it. Still, Tom Brady tells God how thankful he is for such a special blessing.

After the Father gives Brady a short tour of his new home, Tom notices a three story mansion just around the block. The enormous home is painted in orange and blue, even down to the driveway and sidewalks. A huge Denver Broncos flag flies off a 50 ft flagpole above the house and a Tim Tebow jersey hangs over the front door.

Brady, a little perplexed, turns to God and asks, "I don't mean to be ungrateful Lord, but I was an all-pro quarterback, I won three Super Bowls, and I was inducted into the Hall of Fame last year." "What are you trying to say, my son?" Brady responds, "Well, why does Tim Tebow get a better house than me?" God chortles and replies, "That's not Tim's house. That's my house!"

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My dad said there's too much red, yellow and blue in my house.

That's not my primary concern right now.

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The purple man lives in the purple house. The green man lives in the green house. The blue man lives in the blue house. Who lives in the White House?

The orange man.

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The blue man lives in the blue house, the yellow man lives in the yellow house, the purple man lives in the purple house. Who lives in the White House?

The orange man.

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The man with the big feet lives in the red house, the man with the big ears in the green house, the man with the long hair in blue house, where does the man with the small wein live?

My house

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The Wong Brothers Painting Company was hired to paint Rick's house white while he was on vacation. He came back to a blue home.

Two Wongs don't make it white.

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Harry's wife says, "Harry, do these jeans make my ass look like the side of the house?"
He says, "No, our house isn't blue."

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Old married couple are at the gynecologist's

and Sam is sitting in the waiting room while Sadie has her appointment with the doctor.

So the doctor says to her, "Now Mrs. Grunchik - I hope you realize that because of the symptoms you describe, I'm going to have to ask you some very personal questions ... will you mind?"

So Sadie says, "Ask away doctor - do you think anything can embarrass me at my age?"

So the doctor says, "OK thanks. First question I need to ask is whether you still have intercourse."

So Sadie thinks for a moment, realizes she honestly can't remember, and so she calls out to Sam in the waiting room: "Sam - do we still have intercourse?"

And Sam yells back, "No - I told you before we left the house, Sadie - just Blue Cross and Blue Shield!"

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My favorite joke that my grandfather would tell me

A contractor is about to build a house and he needs help. He hires a white guy to get the wood, a black guy to take care of the blueprints and permits, and an Asian guy to take of getting the supplies. At the end of the day they meet up, the white guy has all the wood, the black guy has gotten everything approved and the blue prints ready, but the Asian man is no where to be found. After searching the site they find a big pile of supplies. As the approach the pile they here a rustling. They get closer and closer until the Asian man jumps out and yells SUPPLIES!!!!!

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A blue man lives in a blue house, A red man lives in a red house, and a black man lives in a black house. Who lives in the white house?

An orange man.

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What did Dr. House say after urinating?

It's never blue piss.

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Mr Green lives in The Green House. Mr Blue lives in The Blue House. Mrs Pink lives in The Pink House. Who lives in The White House?

Mr Orange.

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Hey look, that must be Stevie Wonder's house!

Where?

The orange and blue one, over there

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Houses

If the Red House is red and the Blue House is Blue, what color is the Green House?

...

Brown.

I accidentally broke the sprinkler system.

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A guy goes to a house of prostitution.


He selects a girl, pays her $200 up front, and he gets undressed.
She's about to take off her sheer blue negligee, when the fire alarms rings!
She runs out of the room, with his $200 still in her hand.
He quickly grabs his clothes and runs out after her.
He's searching the building, but the smoke gets too heavy, so he runs outside looking for her.
By this time, the firemen are there.
He sees one of them and asks, "Did you see a beautiful blonde, in a sheer blue negligee, with $200 in her hand?"
The fireman says, "No!"
The guy then says, "Well if you see her, screw her. It's paid for."

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Alex an Aussie builder was going through a house he had just built for the woman who owned it.


She was telling him what colour to paint each room.
They went into the first room and she said "I want this room to be painted a light blue."
The builder went to the front door and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" 

When he went back into the house, she told him that the next room was to be bright red.
The builder went to the front door and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" 

When he went back into the house, she told him that the next room was to be tan.
The builder went to the front door and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" 

When he came back, the lady was pretty curious, so she asked him "I keep telling you colours, but you go out the front and yell 'green side up' - what is that for?"
The builder said, "Oh don't worry about that, I've just got a couple of Kiwi's laying the turf out front."

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the blue joke

blue Ali...
woke up in his blue house...
wore his blue clothes...
went to his blue car...
drove down the blue road...
crashed in the blue wall...
red cross arrived...
and fucked the joke

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What are the most funny House Of Blues jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about House Of Blues? Well, here are the best House Of Blues dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and House Of Blues pick up lines to share with friends.

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