hound Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious hound puns

Two old rednecks were sitting outside of a gas station...

Between them there was an old hound dog laying on the concrete, licking it's balls.

One redneck was looking at the dog and said "I really wish I could do that!"

The other redneck looks down and says, "Well, you can try, but he'll probably bite ya."


A fly is buzzing around a wolf hound.

Fly: What kind of dog are you?

Dog: I'm a wolf hound.

Fly: A wolf hound? Strange name . Why do they call you like that?

Dog: Well, it's quite obvious. My mother was a hound and my father was a wolf.

Fly: I see...

Dog: So, what kind of fly are you?

Fly: I'm a horse-fly.



I don't understand how Elvis got so fat

He ate nothing but a hound dog


Two old men and a dog...sitting on a porch.

Two old men were sitting in rocking chairs on a porch.
There was an old hound dog laying between them; the dog was licking its balls.
One old man looked at the other and said "Boy, I sure do wish I could do that!"
The other old man replied "That dog will bite you!"


[OC] I have a friend who breeds hound dogs and I'm trying to get into the business myself, but I don't know where to start.

Maybe I should get some pointers from him


Is it possible to have the word 'and' five times in a row in an English sentence, while still being grammatically correct?

A man had just bought a pub, The Fox and Hound, and wanted a big new sign for it outside, so that potential customers would know that it was under new management and come a try it out.

So, he contracted a sign-maker to make the sign for him. A week later, the sign-maker came back to him with the design for the sign.

The pub owner said: I like it! I like the colours and the font and the minimalistic style, but there's too much much space between 'Fox' and 'and' and 'and' and 'Hound'. Could you fix it?


Collection of dog Jokes

what do you call batman's dog? a Bat Terrier

What do you call sleeping puppies? Hush Puppies

what do you call a magic dog? A; a labra-cadabra-brador

what do you call count draculas dog? a blood hound

why is it called a litter of puppies? because theyll trash the place

Previously posted by me:what do you call a litter of puppies who've been out in the snow? Slush Puppies

What do you call a dog with no legs? it doesn't matter they're not coming

Whats the coolest dog? A pup-sicle

What do dogs have that no other animal has? Puppy Dogs


Beware Dangerous Dog!

On the door of the general store, a customer noticed the sign DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! He carefully entered the store, but once inside all he saw was a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. He asked the store manager, Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?

Yep, that's him, he replied.

The stranger could not help but be amused. That certainly does not look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?

Because, the owner replied, before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him.


So an elf walks into an animal shelter...

...and, being from the North Pole, he wants a hound dog to run a transport system. This particular shelter stocks only mutts.

On the first day, the elf says, "What type of dog is that one there?" he asks, pointing to a cage. "That's a cross between a Labrador and a Poodle," responds the clerk. The elf shakes his head, and moves on to the next cage.

"What type is this one?" he asks. "A German Shepherd and Beagle cross," replies the clerk. Again, the elf shakes his head, and walks to the third and final cage.

"What type is this one?" he asks again. "That's a Pointer and Irish Setter cross," says the clerk. The elf nods his head vigorously, and adopts the animal immediately.

Mystified, the clerk's assistant asks, "Why did he chose that one?" the clerk laughs, and replies, "It was a Point-Setter."


The best late artist of the late 20th century yelvis.



I named my hound, Payback.


I once wrote a poem about a dog

Let's just say I got a helping hound


You guys ever listened to the music of Yellvis?



Where do dogs look when they've lost something?

The lost and hound


What are the most funny Hound jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Hound? Well, here are the best Hound dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Hound pick up lines to share with friends.


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