Hot Weather Jokes

36 hot weather jokes and hilarious hot weather puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hot weather that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking for some hot weather jokes? We've got you covered with this roundup of the funniest jokes about summer heat waves, sweaty days, and more.

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Funniest Hot Weather Short Jokes

Short hot weather jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hot weather humour may include short warm weather jokes also.

  1. This hot weather... The thing I love most about this hot weather is the crop tops and short skirts...
    Although it does make me look a bit gay.

  2. A boy goes on holiday to Mexico and texts his mate saying "Weather out here is just like your mother, 36 and hot"
    His mate replies "Weather back here is just like your sister, 16 and wet"
  3. 2 fortune tellers are talking about the weather. The first one says it's going to be a hot winter. The second one replies "Yes, reminds me of the summer of 2093."
  4. I just bought a new hat... ...with a built-in fan that keeps my head cool during hot weather.
    It really blows my mind.
  5. Due to the hot weather and water shortage in Ireland The Dublin swimming baths are closing lanes 7 & 8
  6. Jewish Joke About Warm Weather אחי היה לי כלכך חם שהבטחתי שאם יציעו לי להתנצר בזה הרגע אני אעשה את זה רק בשביל ההטבלה.
    Dude. It was so hot, I swear that I'd convert to Christianity for the Baptism.
  7. I hate this hot weather, I have to keep my windows closed because all my neighbour's kids do is scream. I'm seriously considering giving them back.
  8. In Australia, there are only three types of weather: Too hot, too cold, too wet or a combination.
    ^(alternate: Total Fire Ban, Totally Flooded and Totally not gonna look outside; mate.)

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Hot Weather One Liners

Which hot weather one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hot weather? I can suggest the ones about weather too hot and weather so hot.

  1. What are the best kind of letters to read in hot weather? Fan mail.
  2. Did you check the weather for Mexico City? It's chili today and hot tamale.
  3. I am like the weather... Hot and nobody wants it
  4. Alabama weather is like family Really hot and then it screws you over
  5. Have you heard the Mexican weather forecast? Chili today and hot tamale.
  6. Whose been feeling hot all summer and even has more degrees than you Weather
  7. You know the weather report in Mexico ? Chili Today, Hot Tamale ?
  8. Why did Oscar Delahoya cancel his fight in may? He thinks may weather is too hot
  9. What's the summer weather like for a London criminal? Hot, wet, and muggy.
  10. What do you call it when the weather is too hot on Thanksgiving? Gobble warming!

Witty Hot Weather Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends

What funny jokes about hot weather you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hot blooded jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hot weather pranks.

Right after takeoff, a pilot comes on the microphone to welcome his passengers. Thank you for flying with us. The weather is....

Then he suddenly starts screaming while still on the mic, OH MY GOD! IT IS BURNING!!, IT IS BURNING!
Then silence.
A few seconds later, he comes back on and says, I'm terribly sorry about what happened. I spilled some scorching hot coffee on my should see my pants!!
A voice from the back of the plane yelled, Why don't you come here and see ours?

A man wins the lottery

He bursts into his bedroom and screams to his wife WOW, I won! I finally won the lottery! Pack your bags quick . The woman all excited replied should I pack for cold or hot weather? To which the man said I don't care as long as you are out of my house by noon

At The Door

One day, a woman's doorbell rang. The weather was very bad. The woman opened the door, and there stood a young girl, a Jehovah's Witness, soaking wet. The woman felt sorry for her, so she asked the young woman into the house for a cup of coffee and to dry off.
The woman wanted to make conversation as the two drank their hot chocolate, so she asked the Jehovah's Witness, "So, what's the message you're passing along?'"
The girl stuttered and said, "I'm not sure. I never got this far."

Q: What do the mosquito parents say to their small children, when they see people lying on the sandy beach during a hot summer day more than 15 minutes?
A: "Kids, prepare the cutlery and your chin-straps.
Our lunch is already heated up and ready for the consumption!"

A penguin takes his car to a mechanic because there is a funny noise coming from under the hood.

Leave it with me, says the mechanic. Come back in 20 minutes.
So, off goes the penguin. It's a pretty hot day and he's a cool weather kind of guy so on spotting an
ice cream van he goes and buys himself a 99. Now, penguins aren't very good at eating ice creams—
the lack of opposable thumbs makes it tricky. So by the time the penguin has finished his 99, he is
completely covered in ice cream. It is all over his beak and all over his flippers. Feeling a little
sticky, he goes back to the garage.
Oh, hello, says the mechanic, wiping his hands on a cloth.
Hello, replies the penguin. Was it anything serious?
Not really, but it looks like you've blown a seal.
Oh no, no, no! says the penguin, wiping his mouth. It's just ice cream.

A pilot was welcoming the passengers on the plane shortly after take-off...

"Thank you for flying with us this morning.
The weather is....."
Then suddenly he starts screaming while he is still on the mic, "OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! IT'S BURNING!!!"
A ghostly silence reigned.
He gets back on the microphone and says, "I sincerely apologize for the incident, but I just dropped a very hot cup of coffee on my lap.. you should see my pants!"
One passenger shouts back, "WHY DON'T YOU COME HERE AND SEE OURS!!!"

A couple decides to go on vacation.

A couple from London decides to go on a vacation together to Spain.
Due to a sudden change in the wife's work schedule the husband decides to fly first and the wife will join him a couple of days later.
As the husband arrives weather is great and he feels kind of bad for his wife still working at home so he immediately decides to send her a letter.
Unfortunately the letter by mistake gets sent to the grieving widow next door.
Being old and still in shock after just having lost her husband she opens up the envelope without looking at the address.
The letter read as following:
"Hi Honey! Just got down here and boy is it freaking hot.
Looking forward to seeing you when you arrive in a few days"

A penguin takes a road trip

A penguin decided to take a road trip. Halfway through, his car breaks down and he gets it towed to the nearest mechanic. The mechanic tells him it will take about 20 minutes to diagnose the problem, so the penguin decides to walk around a bit and check out the small town. It's hot out, and being a penguin, he's used to cooler weather, so he stops and buys himself a huge ice cream cone. He's eating the ice cream as fast as he can as he's walking around, but it's hot out, and a lot of it melted all over his hands and face. 20 minutes go by, and he heads back to the mechanic. When he gets there, the mechanic says "Well, it looks like you blew a seal", and the penguin says "Nah, man, that's just some ice cream"