Hot Tub Jokes
53 hot tub jokes and hilarious hot tub puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hot tub that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Hot Tub Short Jokes
Short hot tub jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hot tub humour may include short bath tub jokes also.
- What do you get when you drain a hot tub full of clowns? Several gallons of laughing stock.
- Italian Hot Tub What was the Italian hot tub that was so small it's occupants always bumped into each other called?
Ja-scusi. - How many Hollywood Stars does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They screw in hot tubs.
- I like my hot tubs like I like my women... So hot I can only stay in them for thirty seconds.
- Why did the bride and groom get married in a hot tub? So that the bride wouldn't get cold feet.
- What did the Hot Tub detective say to the prime suspect? J'accuze!
- What do you call a group of lepers in a hot tub? Oatmeal
- 2 Irishmen sitting in a hot tub...
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Hot Tub One Liners
Which hot tub one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hot tub? I can suggest the ones about bathtub and sauna.
- What do you get when you add pool noodles to a hot tub? Spa-ghetti
- I like my women like I like my hot tubs So hot I can only stay in them for 30 seconds
- What do you call a hot tub full of rastafarians Jah-cuzzie
- What do you get if you put 100 paralitycs in a hot tub? A vegetable soup
- What do you call a group of body builders in a hot tub? Beef stew
- What do you call Marie Antoinette's hot tub? A J'accuse!-i
- New book idea: "Too long in the hot tub" by Drew Peacock
- Did you hear about Emile Zola's hot tub? It's a J'Accuse-i.
- What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a hot tub? Stu.
- What is the most judgemental hot tub? A j'cuzzie
- What is another name for a Japanese hot tub? A Yakuzzi
- What do you call a pregnant woman in a hot tub? A double boiler
- What do you call a French hot tub? Jacquezzi
- What do you call three rabbis in a hot tub? A jewcuzzi
- What do you call a group of men in a hot tub? A BBQ
Hilarious Hot Tub Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends
What funny jokes about hot tub you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hot seat jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hot tub pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches.
When the doctor does his history and physical, he discovers that the poor guy has tried practically every therapy known to man for his migraines and STILL no improvement.
"Listen," says the doc, "I have migraines, too and the advice I'm going to give you isn't really anything I learned in medical school, but it's advice that I've gotten from my own experience. When I have a migraine, I go home, get in a nice hot bathtub, and soak for a while. Then I have my wife sponge me off with the hottest water I can stand, especially around the forehead. This helps a little. Then I get out of the tub, take her into the bedroom, and even if my head is killing me, I force myself to have s**... with her. Almost always, the headache is immediately gone. Now, give it a try, and come back and see me in six weeks."
Six weeks later, the patient returns with a big grin.
"Doc! I took our advice and it works! It REALLY WORKS! I've had migraines for 17 years and this is the FIRST time anyone has ever helped me!"
"Well," says the physician, "I'm glad I could help."
"By the way, Doc," the patient adds, "You have a REALLY nice house
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many aspiring actresses does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
I don't know - normally they screw in the casting director's hot tub
So I was playing Golf toady.
I was solo and decided just to get partnered up at the Club house. After a little bit I was partnered with this fairly lovely lady. We went out playing and started chatting it up. We were laughing and talking and finding out we have a lot in common. though all the fun though we were not actually playing very well. By the time we got to the 18th hole we both had pretty difficult putts ( I was 25 feet on a bad lie and she was slightly closer on the same lie )
I had been enjoying my time with her so much I made her a deal. I told her if I made the putt I would take her out to dinner ( if she didn't mind ) at one of the best restaurants on the island. I lined up and hit the ball after a tense moment the ball passed the cup but stopped and rolled back dropping in.
I guess she didn't want to be out done, so she turns to me and says. " If I make this putt, after dinner I will invite you back to my place for drinks. We can relax in my hot tub and drink Champagne and see what happens from there, but only if I make this putt."
Hearing her proposal I quickly walk up to her and ask her to let me help her line up the putt. She agrees. So I walk up to her ball bending down and pick it up, then handing it back to her. She looks at me and asks me what am I doing? I look back at her with a straight face and tell her " That's a gimmie if I ever saw one "
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Four gay guys are sitting in a hot tub
When a c**... floats up to the surface.
One says, "Who f**...?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man is thinking about joining a gym.
He really just wants to work on his boxing skills. The gym rep gives him the grand tour. "Here are the raquetball courts which get quite busy" the rep says "and over there is the raquetball line". "That's nice" the man says "but I'm mostly interested in the boxing facilities".
The rep continues "Here are the treadmills which are all in use and there is the treadmill line". "Ok, ok" the man rushes "Can we get to the boxing stuff please?"
The rep moves along, "Here is the bench press area which is quite popular and you can see the line to use it. Over here is the basketball courts which are always packed and over there is the basketball line". Continuing, the rep describes "the s**... hot tub and pool which are in high demand and over there is the swimming line".
"OK OK!!" the man exclaims "I just want to punch the bags! Where is the line for that?"
"Oh, but that's no fun", the rep answers.
"Why not?" the man asks.
"There isn't any punch line."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
This got legs in a comment thread yesterday so thought I would share.
A man is fishing when he hears a voice. Fish over here. He looks down and sees a frog. Really fish over here. So he does and catches his limit. The man decides to take the frog home when it says a branch is gonna fall just as the man moves out of the way saving both their lives. Deciding the frog is lucky he takes it to vegas. Put it all on 00 on roulette. Doing so the man hits it for a million. So he rents the presidential suite and they bask in the hot tub for a while and lay on the bed. The man says wow, you've done so much for me I wish there was something I could do for you. The frog says kiss me so he soes and p**...! The frog turns into a beautiful 17 year old girl and I swear to god that's how she got there your honor.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a l**... in a hot tub?
Soup
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call the hot tub that two folks just made love in?
H2OOOHHHGG
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call
What do you call a l**... in a hot tub?
Stew!
Just an old joke I remember from my child hood lol
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
2 guys are sitting in a hot-tub. A c**... floats to the top. o**... says to the other where did that come from . The other replies I f**...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three friends go on a skiing trip.
Three friends go on a skiing trip, but they need to save money so they rent a cabin with only one bed that's big enough for all three of them.
After the first night the guy on the left says he had the most amazing dream. A b**... blonde seduced him and gave him an amazing h**....
The guy on the right says he had a similar dream. A beautiful brunette gave me a h**... in a hot tub, he says.
The guy in the middle looks disappointed. Well that's not fair. I just had a dream I was skiing.
Checking out the birth facility
My pregnant daughter and her husband were checking out a new birth facility that was more like a spa. The birthing room had a hot tub, soft music, and candlelight.
"What do you think?" she said
He looked around. "Isn't this how we got here in the first place?"
Snow White gets into a hot tub and starts feeling a little happy
Happy gets out and she starts feeling a little grumpy.
Grumpy gets out and Bill Cosby gets in and she starts feeling a little sleepy.
A crime at the movie theater
A police detective walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Just got done investigating a burglary at the local movie theater," the detective tells the bartender. "They lost almost $10,000." "That's horrible," the bartender says. "Did they get the cash register?" "No," the detective replies. "Just three jumbo tubs of popcorn, two large sodas, three boxes of candy and a hot dog."
From my niece, who doesn't know why grownups are laughing at her joke...
All of Snow White's seven dwarfs were in a hot tub, feeling happy.
So Happy got out.
She's six. Don't know where she heard this.
