Hot Sweating Jokes
9 hot sweating jokes and hilarious hot sweating puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hot sweating that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Hot Sweating Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good hot sweating joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
I think my fat girlfriend is hot.
She's been sweating profusely.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Beads of sweat were running down her cleavage. Her breathing was hot and heavy.
She moaned as she gained momentum by rocking her hips harder and harder, preparing for the final climactic effort she knew was coming soon. Then, in one final full-body t**..., it was all over, and she breathed a deep sigh of relief and satisfaction. It's always a struggle when the wife gets up off the sofa.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two necrophiliacs talk during a hot summer day.
*Sweating*, it's way too hot outside!
Let's go in and crack open a cold one.
When Chuck Norris say it's hot, people sweat.
Chuck Norris is so hot he makes the sun sweat.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It is a hot summer day in texas...
Gay guy walks into a bar and says, "sir may I have a glass of water it's so hot and I'm thirsty." Bartender goes, "sorry, we don't take too kindly to you her you gotta leave before you start trouble." Gay guy goes, "please sir! I will go sit in the corner I won't bother anybody I promise." Bartender says alright.
Gay guy is sitting in the corner drinking his water minding his own buisness. Barely anybody knows he's there. Then the most clichè cowboy walks in and declares, "Boy it is so hot I can lick the sweat off a bulls b**...!" Gay guy stands up and says, "Moo moo!"
Yesterday it was so hot that my gun started overheating.
It was sweating bullets.
One of my grandpa's best Jokes
A young boy is on vacation in the Sahara desert with his family.
As they are gazing out across the sand, they notice a man walking around... carrying a car door.
"Hey! Why are you carrying that car door around in the desert?" asked the young boy.
The man looked over the family, wiped the sweat off his brow, and said;
"Well, when it gets hot I can put the window down."
...
My grandpa tells a lot of jokes like this, I will try to remember all of them and submit them here. He is 89 years old and still hand-turns the soil in his garden each year, he also built a large wooden trellis for his tomato plants. His jokes are starting to "grow whiskers" as my grandma says.
There's this penguin...
There's this penguin, driving through the South, the Deep South... late August. The hot months. "Ew! But it sure is hot!" the penguin lisped from behind the wheel of his choking jalopy.
Suddenly! The jalopy fails the penguin and he has to push it down a bumpy road to the next small town. He got out, and with all his strength in his weak flippers, he pushed the car over hill and dale.
"Whew!" he sighed.
As luck would have it, there was a mechanic in town, and he told the penguin that he'd have to spend some time with the car. "Why don't you come back in an hour or so?"
Wiping the sweat from his brow, the penguin espied an ice cream shoppe! "Hurray and yippy!" he cried! "I'll be back, toot sweet!" he said.
He ordered the tallest vanilla ice cream he could hold between his vestigial wings... those miserable fins could barely manage the scoops upon scoops of creamy goodness. The cone was so tall that more of it ended up on the penguin than in him!
"Yummy! That was very very good!" the penguin said, smacking his lips.
He waddled back to the mechanic who was ready to give the little fellow an update. The mechanic looked at the penguin sternly. The gaskets and seals on the engine were severely damaged after years of driving without a routine check, and it was certainly going to be expensive.
"Well, it looks like you blew a seal."
"Oh no, that's just ice cream!" the penguin said, wiping the ice cream from his chin.
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