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Hot Pocket Jokes

33 hot pocket jokes and hilarious hot pocket puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hot pocket that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Hot Pocket Short Jokes

Short hot pocket jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hot pocket humour may include short hot seat jokes also.

  1. I always wondered how in Goldilocks, the same serving of porridge could be too hot, too cold and just right at the same time. Then I remembered Hot Pockets
  2. Yo momma is so poor that when I asked her whats for dinner tonight she lit her pocket on fire and said, "hot pocket."
  3. What's the difference between an Nvidia card and an AMD card? One empties your pocket.
    The other makes Hot Pockets.
  4. Two cannibals Two cannibals are eating Jim Gaffigan. One turns to the other and says
    "Does this taste funny to you"
    The other replies
    "It tastes like a hot pocket
  5. A little boy says to his dad 'What is the difference between wealth and poverty?'
    And the dad says:
    'Wealth is caviar, champagne and women. Poverty is hot pocket, beer and your mother!'

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Hot Pocket One Liners

Which hot pocket one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hot pocket? I can suggest the ones about pocket and hot stuff.

  1. I feel like a hot pocket Frozen inside and burnt out
  2. Reddit is like a Hot Pocket. It's full of garbage and cheese.
  3. What do you call pants on fire? Hot pockets.
  4. What do you get when you put pants in the microwave? Hot Pockets
  5. What food can still be frozen, but will still burn your tongue? A hot pocket
  6. Why do Russians like Hot Pockets? Because it can warm up Snowden.
  7. Diddy Snoop Dogg made a rap for Hot pockets.
    Did he?
    No, Snoop dogg
  8. Yo mama is so s**... when I asked for a Hot Pocket she lit her pants on fire.

Cheeky Hot Pocket Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity

What funny jokes about hot pocket you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hot dog jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hot pocket pranks.

A Buddhist monk walks up to a hot dog vendor and says Make me one with everything .

The hot dog vendor hands over the sausage and bun with all the trimmings, and the Buddhist hands over a twenty. The vendor pockets it.
The Buddhist asks Where's my change? and the vendor replies change must come from within .
A gun then extends from the Buddhist's chest and he asks again.
The vendor says Whoa, man, where did that come from?
The Buddhist replies This is my inner piece .

Three vampires walk into a bar...

The first vampire walks up to the bar and the bar man asks what he can get him.
Vampire 1 responds "A nice warm cup of blood"
Bartender says "coming right up"
Vampire 2 pipes up and says "make mine cold!"
After the bartender hands the second vampire his drink he turns to the third vampire.
The bartender asks " let me guess, you want a cup of blood as well?"
Vampire 3 sits down and says "actually may I get a glass of hot water?"
Bartender is in shock and asks "hot water? But why?"
Vampire 3 takes a used t**... out of his coat pocket and responds
"I'm having tea"

Two vampires walk into a bar

Two vampires sit down at a bar. The first vampire orders a glass of blood but the second one just asks for a cup of hot water.
The first vampire is surprised by this and remarks "Just water? Are you feeling alright?"
The second vampire waves him off and pulls a dripping t**... from his coat pocket "Yes yes I'm just in the mood for some tea!"

A vampire walks into a bar...

The bartender nervously says "what do you want to drink?"
The vampire says "hot water please"
The bartender hands him the hot water saying "I thought vampires drank blood?"
The vampire pulls a used t**... out of his pocket and puts it into the water "I'm having tea."

Count Dracula walks into a bar...

and asks the bar man for a cup of boiling water. The bar man quickly returns with the water as requested, and puts it on the bar in front of Dracula. Curious, the bar man says to Dracula "Forgive me, but I thought you vampires only drank blood, what do you want the hot water for?" Dracula takes a used t**... from his cloak pocket. "For making tea, of course" replies Dracula.

Double punchline Buddhist joke.

A Buddhist monk is walking through New York and sees a hot dog cart, he walks up and the vendor asks him what he wants. The monk replies:
Make me one with everything.
The vendor obliges and after handing over the hot dog tells him his total is $3.50. The monk gets out $5 and hands it over, the vendor pockets the money and motions for the next customer; the Buddhist asks why he hasn't gotten any change.
Change must come from within. Replies the vendor.
Somebody may have posted these punchlines before but I doubt ever together, besides; that was zen, this is tao.

A man is sitting at a bar...

Orders a shot, pulls a picture out of his shirt pocket, looks at it, takes a shot. Same routine repeats 6 more times. Bartender asks: "Hey buddy, next round is on the house, if you tell me what your routine is all about".
"Ok", says patron, "I have a picture of my wife in my pocket and I look at it before I drink. When she starts to look hot, I know it's time for me to go home"

Two Vampires wal into a bar.

Two vampires walk into a bar. They both sit at a table and wait for employee to come. Once the employee comes one of the vampires asks for a glass of blood, while the other asks for hot water.
When the employee delivers the orders to the table he couldn't avoid to ask:
- Why would a vampire drink hot water?
The vampire, slowly goes into his pocket and brings out a used t**... and says:
- I prefer tea sir...
**

If brand slogans were honest...

Hallmark: When you care enough to give a card mass-produced by 
a corporation.
Ritz crackers: Tiny, edible plates.
CliffsNotes: They're still going to know you didn't read the book.
Gillette: We're just going to keep adding blades.
ChapStick: You'll misplace it before the tube's empty.
Hot Pockets: Every bite is a different temperature.

A vampire walks into a bar

This vampire walks into a bar. Says ooOOOooOOOooo boogity boogity. Bar tender says "Alright, well what'll you have?" Vampire sits down and says can I get a big glass of hot water?" Bartender goes, gets a giant cup of boiling water and says "Here. I thought you guys needed blood or something like that though, why hot water?" Vampire reaches into his coat pocket, pulls out this giant t**... and says "I'm making tea."

Three vampires walk into a vampire bar.

The first vampire orders a cup of hot blood. The second vampire orders a cup of cold blood. The third vampire orders a cup of hot water. The first vampire asks the third "Why don't you drink blood? You're a vampire, man." The third vampire takes a used t**... from his pocket and answers: "I like mine bagged."

A man is laying carpet at a woman's house and it's a long, hot job.

He finally finishes and reaches into his shirt pocket for a pack of cigarettes and they are not there.
He glances at a small lump out of the carpet I realize they slipped out of his pocket. Bam! Bam! Bam! He flattens them till it looks great, there is no way he's going to take up all that carpet for a bunch of paper and tobacco.
Heads out to his truck, jumps in the front seat and is caught off guard to see his pack of cigarettes on the dash.
At that moment the woman of the house rushes out waving at him. "Excuse me, I don't know if you saw him or not, but I'm missing my hamster."