Hot Old Lady Jokes
12 hot old lady jokes and hilarious hot old lady puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hot old lady that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Hot Old Lady Short Jokes
Short hot old lady jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hot old lady humour may include short old lady jokes also.
- From my 7 year old daughter, this morning: Dad, why was the Starbucks lady blushing? A: Because the coffee was *soooo* hot!
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Cheeky Hot Old Lady Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity
What funny jokes about hot old lady you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean older woman jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hot old lady pranks.
Jar Full of $10 Bills
A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of $10 bills on the bar. He goes to the barkeep and says "Hey, what's up with that jar?"
The bartender responds "Well, you put in 10 bucks, do 3 challenges, and if you do them you get the whole jar."
The man says "Wow that's pretty cool, what are the challenges?"
The barkeep lists "Well, first ya gotta drink a whole bottle of hot sauce, and no nursing. Second, there's a dog out back who has a sore tooth and he's real grouchy, and you gotta take out the bad tooth bare handed. Last, there's this old lady upstairs who's never done the hokey pokey, if ya know what I mean, and you gotta fix that."
The man replies in disgust "I can't do any of those!" So the man gets drunk. Being drunk, he decides he can do anything and says "Hand me the bottle of hot sauce." So the bartender hands the man the bottle and the man drinks the whole, straight down. He then goes outside to deal with the dog. As the door shuts you hear yelping and screaming and hollering and growling and then.... dead silence... The door creaks open and the man walks in. He's all covered in blood, his shirts torn, he's missing hair... and in a drunken slur he asks "Where's the old lady with the tooth problem?"
Hygienic!
Two girls were walking down the sidewalk on a hot summer day. They come upon this old lady sitting on steps in front of her house eating watermelon. They notice that she wasn`t wearing any p**.... So they ask her if its cooler without wearing any p**....
She said, "I don't know if it's cooler but sure keeps the flies off the watermelon.
A 92 year-old man went to the Doctor to get a physical.
A few days later the Dr. saw the man walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm.
A couple of days later the Dr. talked to the man and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"
The man replied, "Just doing what you said Doctor, 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful."
The Doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said you got a heart murmur. Be careful."
Advice
A doctor was walking down the street one day when he noticed coming towards him one of his 85 year old patients with a very beautiful, well-built young lady on his arm.
He was looking the happiest he had ever seen him.
When the old guy noticed the doctor he went up to him and said, "Well Doc. I took your advice and look at me."
Puzzled, the doctor asked what the advice was.
"You told me to get a hot Mama and be very cheerful," he replied.
"Oh no. I told you that you had got a heart murmur and to be very careful."
An old lady told me this
You know how rubber gloves are made? They hire all kinds of people; black guys, white guys,boys, girls, men, women; and have them all dip their hands in liquid hot rubber. You get all manner of gloves from this. Big ones, small ones, medical gloves, elbow length cleaning gloves. The more durable the glove, the longer they have to hold their hand in the molten rubber.
Betcha can't guess how condoms are made?
82 year old Mr. Morris
went to the doctors for a full physical examination.
A few weeks later, the doctor saw Mr. Morris walking down the road with a gorgeous young lady on his arm.
'Hello Mr. Morris,' says the doctor, 'you're looking well and it looks like you're doing great!'
'Well, I got me a hot Mamma, and I'm being cheerful, just like you said doc.'
'I didn't say that! What I said was, "You have a heart murmor, be careful!" '
Two girls take a walk on a hot summer day.
They see an old lady sitting in front of her house eating watermelon.
They notice she isn't wearing any p**....
"Is it cooler without p**...?" they ask.
She says, "I don't know if it's cooler, but it sure keeps the flies off the watermelon."
Old couple celebrates their 50th anniversary
An old couple celebrates their 50th wedding anniversary in their home.
Just think," the old man says, "we were sitting here at this same breakfast table, n**... as jaybirds, 50 years ago."
Well," the old lady snickers, "what do you say, should we get n**...?"
The two immediately s**... to the buff and sit back down at the table.
You know, honey," the little old lady says slyly, "My n**... are still just as hot for you as they were 50 years ago."
I'm not surprised," replies the old man. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!"
A lady is walking down the street...
and bumps into an old friend. She is surprised to see that he has a hot dog sticking out of his ear.
She says, "Dude, you have a hot dog sticking out of your ear!!"
He frowns and asks, "What?"
She repeats herself a little louder, "Dude, you have a hot dog sticking out of your ear!!"
He looks confused and asks, "WHAT?"
She yells, "DUDE! YOU HAVE A *HOT DOG* STICKING OUT OF YOUR *EAR*!"
He smiles apologetically and says, "Sorry, I can't hear you. I have a hot dog in my ear."
An old couple gets in the mood.
There was this couple who had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, "Just think, honey, we've been married for 50 years."
"Yeah," she replied, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together."
"I know," the old man said, "We were probably sitting here n**... as jaybirds fifty years ago."
"Well," Granny snickered, "What do you say...should we get n**...?" Where upon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
"You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My n**... are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."
"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal."
There was this couple who had been married for 50 years.
They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, "Just think, honey, we've been married for 50 years." "Yeah," she replied, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together." "I know," the old man said, "We were probably sitting here n**... as jaybirds fifty years ago." "Well," Granny snickered, "What do you say...should we get n**...?" Where upon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table. "You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My n**... are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago." "I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!!!!