Hot Mess Jokes
27 hot mess jokes and hilarious hot mess puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hot mess that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Hot Mess Short Jokes
Short hot mess jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hot mess humour may include short messy jokes also.
- I've been getting some odd pop up ads recently: Hot older men in your area want to know if you've been messing with the thermostat
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Hot Mess One Liners
Which hot mess one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hot mess? I can suggest the ones about hot stuff and chaos.
- LPT: Never date an active volcano They're just a hot mess.
- Why was the fan a hot mess? Because it felt trapped and needed somewhere to vent.
- I spilled some coffee on myself It was a hot mess
- What do you get when a camel pukes in the desert? A hot mess.
- *tips fedora at two ladys covered in a hot sticky brown mess* M'lasses
- I busted my nose earlier today... I suppose women can call the aftermath a hot mess.
Hot Mess Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about hot mess you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean messed up jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hot mess pranks.
Moth Inspector
A man and a woman are getting it on in bed when they hear the front door open. The woman says, "It's my husband! You'd better hide."
She throws his clothes under the bed and he hides behind the curtains. Her husband comes in, sees her all hot and sweaty, and the sheets all messed up. He looks around, and sees a big bulge in the curtains, and a pair of feet sticking out underneath. He whips the curtains open, and says, "Who the h**... are you?"
The man says, "I'm the moth inspector."
The husband says, "Moth inspector? Why are you n**...?"
The man looks down and says, "d**.... I'm too late."
I was making a mocha in the barn
when I spilled some hot chocolate mix. I used my fingers to turn the mess into a rough picture of my pet rooster.
Shortly thereafter, the rooster himself strolled by, looked at my sketch and made a cocoa doodle too.
My wife texted me on a cold winter morning...
My wife texted me on a cold winter morning, saying "Windows frozen, won't open. "
I texted her back, "gently pour some hot water along the edges, and tap it with a hammer. "
After a few minutes she texted back, "computer is really messed up now. "
My buddy said I need to "get out more, stop messing around with computers and find a woman", but little does he know, I'm about to date a really hot ~20 year old server.
It's a Generation 6 Dell PowerEdge 1650 that I had to turn off because it burnt my rug and my best estimate is that it was made circa 2002.
A penguin is driving along route 66
And notices his car is acting up. So he rolls over to the first garage he finds and asks the mechanic to fix it for him. The mechanic looks at the car and says it may take a few hours to find the problem to which the penguin agrees.
While waiting the penguin decides its very hot and he'd love a refreshment. He sees an ice cream stand a little further down the road and buys himself an ice cream. Now being a penguin with no hands he makes the biggest mess all over himself trying to eat it.
A while later he goes back the mechanic who immediately tells him that it looks like he blew a seal to which the penguin replies, nope its only ice cream.
A penguin is driving through town on a hot summer day.
Unfortunately, his car breaks down and he's forced to take it to a mechanic. The mechanic says "I'll have a look, just go do something for a bit and come back. I'll let you know what I find when you get back."
So, with some time to kill the penguin goes across the road to get some ice cream. Due to the heat, the ice cream melts fast while the penguin tries to eat it. He makes an awful mess, all over his flappers and beak.
He goes back to the mechanic when he's done his ice cream and the mechanic says "Looks like you just a blew a seal"
"Oh no I was just eating some ice cream"
A penguin is driving through the desert
The car begins to lurch and smoke pours from the hood. The penguin stops at a small gas station on the side of the otherwise desolate road. Luckily, a mechanic is available. "Give me a few minutes and I'll let you know what I find out" he tells the stranded penguin. So the penguin heads inside the gas station's market and buys an ice cream. He steps outside to eat it. The hot desert sun begins to melt the ice cream faster than the penguin can consume it. It makes a mess. The mechanic returns to the penguin, looks at him, and says "well, it looks like you blew a seal." The penguin responds "oh no, that's just ice cream."
A penguin is driving down a desert road...
when his car begins to sputter. He pulls over into a service station and leaves his car with the mechanic. The penguin goes into a nearby ice cream shop and buys a vanilla ice cream cone to try and beat the heat. It's so hot outside that the ice cream begins to melt all over his hands and face as he eats it, leaving a mess. When he's finished his ice cream, he goes back to the service station to check on his car. The mechanic tells him "All fixed. Looks like you just blew a seal". The penguin replies, "No, it's just ice cream".
A penguin is driving along in his convertible on a very hot day...
when it suddenly breaks down. He has it towed to a shop where the mechanic says it will be at least a couple hours while he finds the problem. The mechanic tells the penguin that he can go to a nearby diner to get out of the brutal heat.
The penguin goes into the diner and decides to order a bowl of ice cream to cool off. He dives right in and makes a real mess of himself. He orders another bowl and eats it so fast he's wearing most of it. There's melted ice cream all over his face.
Finally, the penguin pays his bill and heads back to the shop. The mechanic looks up from the penguin's car and says, "It looks like you blew a seal!" The pengiun says, "Nah, it's just ice cream."
A penguin goes to his mechanic...
A penguin decides to get his car checked out on a hot summer day. He brings it to his mechanic, and decides to get some ice cream while his car is being worked on. The penguin orders a bowl of ice cream, and uses his flippers to scarf down some ice cream. He makes quite a mess of himself while eating. Once he finishes his delicious snack, he goes back to his mechanic and asks what is wrong.
The mechanic replies "Looks like you blew a seal"
to which, the penguin exclaims, " NO! NO! It's ice cream!! I swear!!"
a penguin is driving through Texas when ...
... his car engine suddenly sputters and dies. close to a service station, he uses his momentum to roll up in front of the garage. he hops out and asks the mechanic to have a look. the mechanic obliges and says "give me 15 minutes". it being a hot day in Lubbock (naturally), the penguin gravitates to the baskin robbins across the street to get a vanilla ice cream. not having lips, the little guy enjoys his ice cream greatly but makes a bit of a mess, getting ice cream all over himself. after finishing, he walks back across the street to the service station. the mechanic says to him "looks like you blew a seal." the penguin replies, "oh no, that's just ice cream!"
Penguin's car breaks down
It's a hot day and a penguin is driving his car around when it suddenly breaks down. He takes it to a mechanic who says it will be an hour before he'll know what's wrong with the thing. Now, Penguins do not like heat, so he decides to go get some vanilla ice cream. Flippers however are not good at handling ice cream cones, so he ends up making a big mess. when he goes back to check on his car the mechanic says, "Looks like you blew a seal." Penguin says, "No you don't understand, that's just ice cream"
A penguin is on a road trip and his car breaks down
He pulls off to the nearest mechanic to get it looked at, and the mechanic tells him it's gonna be about an hour before he knows anything. So the penguin decides to walk a couple blocks to a shopping center.
It's really hot in this place and the penguin's not used to that at all, so he starts looking for ways to cool off. He sees a Baskin Robbins and decides to go in and get himself an ice cream cone. He goes outside and sits down to enjoy it, and it's delicious. The heat starts to melt it and he gets ice cream all over himself, but he doesn't care because it's cold and reminds him of home. He's happy as can be, just l**... away and making a total mess of himself, until the cone is gone and he realizes it's almost time to get his car back.
So he goes back to the mechanic, the guy has just finished up and the penguin asks, "Well, what was the problem?" The mechanic replies "It looks like you just blew a seal."
The penguin is shocked and cries, "No it's just ice cream, I swear!"
A blond walks in for a job interview...
She is kind of hot and the boss thinks of hiring her without the formalities. But decides to just ask her a few simple questions anyhow. "Could you tell me how old you are?" The blond starts to count on her fingers until she reaches 19. "19," she replies with a smile. The boss is taken aback and decides to ask an other simple question. "Could you tell me how tall you are?" she goes into her bag and pulls out a tape measure, sticks it under her shoe and starts to pull it to her head. "5'9" She beams with a smile. The boss can't believe how she could be so brainless and decides to ask her something everyone know. " Could you please tell me your name? At this she looks to the ceiling and starts to more her head right to left...right ..left ..right.. left ..right ..left. She does this for a while then says " EEMMILLLYYY" then she says "my names Emily" the boss can't help himself and asks. "Why did you shake your head like that when I asked you your name?" To which she replies," oh I'm remembering that song...
Happy birthday to you"
Sorry for the mess Im using my phone..