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Hot Jokes

181 hot jokes and hilarious hot puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hot that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover the perfect jokes to warm up any conversation! From silly one-liners to hilarious puns and warmth-inducing hot jokes, find the perfect joke to make your girlfriend laugh. Enjoy the best of hindi hot jokes, lukewarm jokes, and heater jokes all in one place.

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Popular Hot Short Jokes

Short hot jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hot humour may include short heater jokes also.

  1. My friends laughed at me when I told them I had a hot date and they said she was imaginary...
    Well the jokes on them – they're imaginary too...
  2. I lent my umbrella to a hot girl yesterday.
    That takes the number of girls i've made wet this year to -1
  3. Guys, don't install adblock I did, and now the hot singles in my area don't want to meet me any more.
  4. I like my women like I like my microwave Hot, clean, and she'll kill any baby I put inside her.
  5. 2 monkeys sat on a branch, one says "ooh ooohh aha ha aha!" The other says "careful, that's hot."
  6. What's the difference between an anti-vaxxer and a hot dog? The hot dog might actually have some brains in it.
  7. After a long time, I told my hot coworker how I felt. Turns out she felt the same way. So I turned the airconditioning on.
  8. How do you check the weight of a Red Hot Chilli Pepper You give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.
  9. Every family has that weird, slightly perverted uncle. Not me, though! I just have some really hot nieces who won't let me buy them beer.
  10. I'm 27, my BF is 37. Is 10 years too much of an age gap? 'cause his son is 17 and really hot.

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Hot One Liners

Which hot one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hot? I can suggest the ones about lukewarm and cold.

  1. Pro-Tip: If a girl in a hot bikini DMs you about crypto Ignore him.
  2. What's Icarus' least favorite food? hot wings
  3. 90 degree is pretty hot for most people, But for mathematicians, it's just right.
  4. Since I installed adblock, my popularity with hot girls in my area has plummeted
  5. There are hot dads in your area... And they want to know who touched the thermostat.
  6. My wife likes it when I blow air on her when she's hot, but honestly I'm not a fan.
  7. What does garlic do when it gets hot? It takes its cloves off.
  8. When do Jews go swimming? When it Israeli hot
  9. I finally understand why everyone loves Gal Gadot She Israeli hot.
  10. Which runs faster, hot or cold? Hot, Everyone can catch a cold.
  11. A hot girl texted me "Come over, no one's home" So i went over...
    And no one's home
  12. It was so hot today... That I actually saw two fire hydrants fighting over a dog.
  13. Medusa is so hot Every time I look at her I'm rock hard
  14. How do you end a prayer to the noodle God? Ramen.
  15. Life is like a soup Life is like a soup, you only get blown if you're hot.

Hot As Jokes

Here is a list of funny hot as jokes and even better hot as puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Counterfeit $1 bills reportedly found in circulation Be on the lookout for hot singles in your area.
  • How do you measure how heavy a red hot chilli pepper is? Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now…
  • There's this hot girl in my college writing class. Her body is a 10, but her intro and conclusion need some work.
  • After a long time, I told my hot coworker how I felt She felt the same way
    So I turned on the air conditioner
  • If a guy says you're hot, he's looking at your body. If he says you're pretty, he's looking at your face... If he says you're fabulous, he's looking at your brother
  • I wanted to join the Yakuza, but I got it mixed it up with Jacuzzi . Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese Mafia.
  • A really hot girl was checking me out today. Then I paid her for the groceries and left the store.
  • Two monkeys entered a bath. Monkey 1: Oooh oooh oooh aaah aaah aaah
    Monkey 2: Calm down, it isn't that hot
  • Why doesn't Smokey the Bear have any kids? Because every time his wife gets hot, he covers her with dirt and beats her with a shovel.
  • What do a hot potato and a thrown pig have in common? One is a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.

Too Hot Jokes

Here is a list of funny too hot jokes and even better too hot puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • If I had a nickel for every time I was called hot, I would be the U.S.A 28.7 trillion dollars in debt
  • Right now, my wife has a smoking hot bod... The ash scattering ceremony starts at 2:00 PM.
  • My smoking hot, lesbian best friends got me a Rolex for my birthday. I guess they misheard me when I said I wanna watch.
  • Relationships are like Indian food They start out hot and spicy but end up with someone on the toilet crying and saying why me.
  • I was relaxing in a Jacuzzi when my wife pointed a finger at me and gave me a really angry look... ... I knew I was in hot water.
  • I was talking to a hot North African girl for hours. We just clicked
  • Who doesn't like hot wings? Icarus
  • Cremation My last chance at a smoking hot body
  • I accidentally mixed up the words 'jacuzzi' and 'yakuza' online. Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese Mafia.
  • Why are women like a Hurricane? They come at you all hot and wet and leave you without a house or car...

Its So Hot Jokes

Here is a list of funny its so hot jokes and even better its so hot puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Justice is best served cold Because if it was served hot it would be Justwater
  • I was walking down the road and I saw this really hot homeless girl... So I asked her if I could take her home with me. She said yes and so I took her box to my house.
  • Many burn victims are not very attractive, But all of them used to be extremely hot at some point in the past.
  • How do you hit on a Jewish girl? Tell her that she israeli hot!
  • A Kraft cheese factory recently burned down... No one reported the fire for hours, because no one believed that there actually were hot Singles in the area.
  • Two Dragons walk into a bar One dragon says, "It's hot in here".
    "Shut your mouth", says the other dragon.
  • Did I ever tell you guys about the time I made it with my really hot math teacher? couldn't really brag about it at the time 'cause I was home schooled...
  • This hot weather... The thing I love most about this hot weather is the crop tops and short skirts...
    Although it does make me look a bit gay.
  • Man walks into a library and orders an incredibly hot curry. "This is a library", says the librarian
    "Oh, sorry", replies the man
    "*I'd like to order an incredibly hot curry please*", he whispers
  • Hey, are you the bottom of my laptop? Because you're really hot and it's making me nervous.

Hot Girl Jokes

Here is a list of funny hot girl jokes and even better hot girl puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Trail mix dad joke I made a playlist of songs from Eminem, The Cranberries, California Raisins, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Spice Girls, and the Peanuts.
    I call it my Trail Mix.
  • I lent a hot girl my umbrella while it was raining That takes the amount of girls I've made wet to -1
  • I gave my number to a really hot girl at the bar and told her to text me when she got home. She must have been homeless.
  • No guy has ever looked at a girl and thought… She would be so hot if her eyelashes were longer
  • Why are girls on only fans hot? Cuz they only got fans, they need to get an AC unit
  • Hot Date: Girl: Sorry, I don't put out on the first date.
    Me: [on fire] I respect that in a woman.
  • Hey girl, are you the big bang? Cause you're pretty hot, but very dense
  • What's the difference between a hot girl and a mouse? One charms the he's and the other harms the cheese.
  • It started to rain suddenly so I lent this attractive young woman my umbrella. That takes the total number of hot girls I have made wet this year to minus one.
  • Hey girl are you Little Caesar's? Cus you're hot and I'm ready

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about hot can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of hot puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Hilarious Fun Hot Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter

What funny jokes about hot you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean hottest jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make hot prank.

I was b**... this h**... on her kitchen table when we heard the front door open

She said "it's my husband!. Quick, try the b**...!"
Thinking back, I really should have ran but you don't get offers like that every day.

Putin, Biden and Zelensky are all in a hot air balloon

Putin, Biden and Zelensky are all in a hot air balloon and it's starting to lose altitude. They need to lose some weight to stop from crashing.
Putin throws out a bottle of v**... and says don't worry I've got too much of that in my country anyway
Biden throws out an AR-15 and says don't worry I've got too much of that in my country anyway
Zelensky throws out Putin and says don't worry I've got too much of that in my country anyway and looks at Biden smugly as they c**... anyways due to the massive weight of Zelensky's b**....

My hot flight attendant asked how I like my coffee

Trying to sound cool, I told her I like my coffee like I like my women. And that's when she told me "That's cute honey, but the coffee's free. You don't have to pay for it here!"

The troubles of foreigners in Canada

A patron in a Montreal restaurant turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded.
"This is an outrage," he complained. "The faucet marked 'C' gave me boiling water."
"But, Monsieur, 'C' stands for chaud – French for hot. You should know that if you live in Montreal."
"Wait a minute," roared the patron. "The other tap is also marked 'C'."
"Of course," said the manager. "It stands for cold. After all, Montreal is a bilingual city."
**

I was sitting on a train next to a hot Thai girl.

I thought to myself "Please don't get an e**..., please don't get an e**...."
But.....she did.

John, a wealthy 60 year old man, shows up at the country club one day with his new wife, a smoking hot 22 year old blonde.

His buddies are amazed. "There is no way someone that young and attractive would agree to marry an old g**... like you. How did you pull it off?"
"It's simple," John says, "I lied to her about my age."
"Did you tell her you were 50?" his friends ask. John shakes his head no.
"There is no way she could believe you were 40". John shakes his head again.
"So how old did you tell her you were exactly??"
John smiles and says "85".

A Buddhist monk walks up to a hot dog vendor and says: "Make me one with everything."

After a brief chuckle, the vendor makes the hot dog and gives it to the monk, saying "That will be $4 please". After the monk hands over a $10 bill, he finds himself waiting uncomfortably while the vendor does nothing except stare back at him.
Awkwardly the monk asks "What about my change?" "Ah," replies the hot dog vendor, "Change must come from within."

My 4 year oldest favourit joke, which he very proudly memorized and told all his teachers.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"
Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

"Make me one with everything," says the Buddhist to the tofu hot dog vendor.

Then, after getting his tofu hot dog, the Buddhist hands the vendor a $20 bill.
The vendor takes the money and begins helping the next customer.
The Buddhist looks puzzled and asks the vendor, "Where is my change?"
The vendor replies, "Change comes from within."

Right after takeoff, a pilot comes on the microphone to welcome his passengers. Thank you for flying with us. The weather is....

Then he suddenly starts screaming while still on the mic, OH MY GOD! IT IS BURNING!!, IT IS BURNING!
Then silence.
A few seconds later, he comes back on and says, I'm terribly sorry about what happened. I spilled some scorching hot coffee on my lap...you should see my pants!!
A voice from the back of the plane yelled, Why don't you come here and see ours?

My dwarf girlfriend has been a bit down recently because people keep remarking on her size

... So to cheer her up when she gets home from work, I've got her flowers, chocolates, wine and I'm going to run her a nice hot sink.

A 60 years old billionaire marries a hot 25 year old girl..

After honeymoon they throw a party celebrating their marriage...
After a few drinks, billionaire's friends want to know the secret of how he landed 25 yo hottie..
"It's simple" billionaire boasts...
"I faked my age"
"Yes, but even for a 40/45 years old guy...she is sensational, what age btw did you tell you are?" A friend asks.
With a smile on his lips billionaire responds
"85 years old"

I like my men how I like my coffee...

Extremely hot and capable of severely injuring my t**...

A man ordered the soup at a restaurant and asked the waiter to try it...

Man: Waiter, will you try the soup?
Waiter: What's wrong Sir, is it too cold?
Man: Will you just try the soup.
Waiter: Is it too hot?
Man: Will you just try the soup
Waiter: Is it too spicy, Sir?
Man: Will you just try the d**... soup son
Waiter: If there is something wrong with the soup...
Man: WILL YOU JUST TRY THE SOUP!
Waiter: FINE! I'll try the soup. Where's the spoon.
Man: Exactly.

I was sitting next to this really hot Thai g**... the bus and all I could think to myself was, "Don't get an e**..., don't get an e**..."...

But she did

This is an old joke but my husband told me to never tell it again!

3 vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a b**... Mary. The second orders a b**... Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks a b**... Mary?
The vampire shakes his head. Hot water for me
Hot water?
I found a t**... out back and want to make tea

What do you call a h**... in Boston?

A tourist

From my niece, who doesn't know why grownups are laughing at her joke...

All of Snow White's seven dwarfs were in a hot tub, feeling happy.
So Happy got out.
She's six. Don't know where she heard this.

2 foreign immigrants have just arrived in USA by boat and one says to the other,

''"I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do." Nodding emphatically, one of the immigrants points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward the cart. "Two dogs, please," she says. The vendor is only too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter. Excited, the companions hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their "dogs." One of them opens the foil and begins to blush. Staring at it for a moment, she turns to her friend and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"

Dated a gold digger once.

I date this girl once, she was a solid 10. She was smoking hot, and crazy in bed. Things went south though, she claimed I lied about how much money I had.
And I was like my exact words where, that I has worth between 40 and 75 million dollars .
So what if it was only $2,165. It is still between $40- $75,000,000.

Ladies: A guide to understanding what guys say...

* If a guy says you're hot, he's looking at your body.
* If a guy says you're pretty, he's looking at your face.
* If a guy says you're fabulous, he's looking at your brother.

Taste the soup

A guy eating in a restaurant calls the waiter.
-Please taste the soup.

The confused waiter asks:
-Is the soup too hot?
-Just taste the soup...
-Is the soup too cold?
-Taste the soup.
-Is there a fly in the soup?
-Taste the soup!
The waiter, tired of guessing, gives up.
-Alright, alright, I'll taste the soup. Where's the spoon?
-Aha!

Today I was offered s**... by an 18 year old female...

Now I'm not gonna lie this chick was smoking hot. In exchange for the s**... I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner for her. Of course I, being the great person that I am, declined because I have high moral standards and my willpower is very strong.....but not as nearly as strong as Ajax, the safe and affordable bathroom cleaner, now available in lemon and vanilla scents

Good, Bad, Worse, Worst.

Good: A hot girl hugs you.
Bad: You get an e**....
Worse: You realize it's not yours.
Worst: Now even you get an e**....

United States

Two immigrants from Africa arrive in the United States and are discussing the difference between their country and the U.S. One of them mentions he's heard that people in the U.S. eat dogs, and if they're going to fit in, they better eat dogs as well. So they head to the nearest hot dog stand and order two 'dogs.' The first guy unwraps his, looks at it, and nervously looks at his friend.
"Which part did you get?"

My wife's pregnant. She wondered if it's really hot in there for the baby.

I said, "It's likely w**...-temperature."

My 6 year old son told me this one. "What do you call a snowman that's having a t**... with two hot princesses?"

I slapped my son and abruptly deleted his youtube kids app.

A 60 years old billionaire marries a hot 25 year old girl..

After hnoeymoon they throw a party celebrating their marriage...
After a few drinks, billionaire's friends want to know the secret of how he landed 25 yo hottie..
‟It is simple billionaire boasts....
‟I faked my age
‟Yes, but even for a 40/45 years old guy...she is sensational, what age btw did you tell you're? A friend asks.
With a smile on his lips billionaire responds
‟85 years old

An Englishman, an Irishman, a Welshman, and a Scotsman are all on a hot air balloon.

The conductor almost panicked says, there's too much weight! Someone needs to jump off, or we're going to c**...! The Welshman bravely steps up, For the glory of wales! And the Welshman throws himself off. The conductor still panicked says, okay, we're close but there is still too much weight! The Irishman, in a patriotic manner yells, For Ireland! And throws the Englishman off

A Buddhist monk walks up to a hot dog vendor and says Make me one with everything .

The hot dog vendor hands over the sausage and bun with all the trimmings, and the Buddhist hands over a twenty. The vendor pockets it.
The Buddhist asks Where's my change? and the vendor replies change must come from within .
A gun then extends from the Buddhist's chest and he asks again.
The vendor says Whoa, man, where did that come from?
The Buddhist replies This is my inner piece .

A Buddhist monk walks up to a hot dog vendor and says: 'Make me one with everything'....

After a brief chuckle at the monks joke the vendor hands him his hot dog with everything and says 'That'll be $4 please'.
The monk hands over a $10 bill and waits whilst the vendor just stares back at him....
Awkwardly the monk ask's 'What about my change'?.
'Ah' replies the hot dog vendor, 'Change must come from within'.

A black guy, a white guy, and a Mexican guy were eying a h**... from across a bar.

She notices them looking at her, so she walks up to them.She says, " I want a man that"s smart. Use the words LIVER and CHEESE in one sentence. "The black guy goes " I love to eat liver and cheese. "The white guy goes " I like to cook liver and cheese. "The Mexican guy goes up to the girl and tells the guys " Liver alone, cheese mine!!"

A 60 year old billionaire marries a hot 24 year old...

During the wedding party, his friends ask him, How'd you land someone that young?
It's simple, said the billionaire, I faked my age!
I mean, I'm 43, and there's no way I could land her! , a friend exclaims. What age did you tell her you were?
Smiling mischievously, the billionaire responds, 85 years old.

Democrats are sexier than Republicans

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Is it true that Democrats are generally considered to be more attractive than Republicans?" he asks the bartender. "Well, have you every heard of a hot piece of elephant?" the bartender responds.

An older couple is having breakfast when the old woman says to her husband

"Just think, honey, we've been married for 60 years.?"
"Yes," he replies. "Sixty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together. And we were probably n**... as jaybirds."
"Well," the old woman snickers, "should we get n**... again for old time's sake?"
So they s**... off their clothing and sit back down at the table. "You know," the old woman says breathlessly, "my n**... are as hot for you today as they were 60 years ago."
"I'm not surprised," replies the old man. "One's in your coffee and the other's in your oatmeal!"

AdBlock ruined my s**... life

There are no more hot singles near me

A hot girl asked me if i wanted to watch a movie

Yesterday, a hot girl asked me if I wanted to see a movie
She asked, "What would you like to see?"
I said, "You pick".
She said, "You pick".
I said, "I don't care, you pick".
She said, "Sir, there are other people waiting in line to buy tickets."

My pregnant wife asked me if I ever worried it would be too hot for the baby inside her.

I said, Nah, it's probably w**... temperature.

Today is my first day at the gym.

I walk in and see a bunch of hot women working out. I walk up to the guy who is running the gym and ask him, " Sir, what machine should I use to impress the ladies over there?" He smiles at me and says, " Try the ATM Machine in the lobby."

Why are hot dogs the weirdest dogs?

Because most of them are i**....

I just saw a hot mom at McDonalds s**... her kid after he threw his fries on the ground

...so I threw my fries on the ground too.

A Vampire walks into a bar...

A vampire walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar. When the bartender asks what he'll have to drink the vampire replies, "a glass of hot water." The bartender a bit confused asks, "I thought you vampires drank blood?" The vampire proceeds to pull out a used t**... and replies, "I'm having tea."

Hot Thai girl

I was sitting opposite a really hot Thai g**... the train this morning.
I thought to myself, "Please don't get an e**..., Please don't get an e**...."
But she did.

A hot girl asked me whether I wanted to see a movie.

She said, "Which movie would you like to see?".
I said, "You pick".
She said, "No you pick".
I said, "I don't care, you pick".
She said, "Please decide fast sir, there are other people waiting to buy tickets".
[A forward that I received from my SO today]

A 60 year old millionaire is getting married and throws a big wedding reception.

A 60 year old millionaire is getting married and throws a big wedding reception.
His friends are quite jealous and in a quiet moment one of them asks him how did he land such a hot 23 year old beauty?
Simple, grins the millionaire, I faked my age."
His friends are really amazed and ask him how much he said.
"Well", he replied.  "I said I was 87!"

A rabbi and a priest are out for a walk through the park.

It's a hot summer day and as they pass by a pond, the rabbi suggest taking a bath to cool down a little.
The priest is hesitant at first, but since they're at a remote spot with noone around, he agrees.
Just as they have finished taking off their robes a group of ladies is jogging by. The priest hastily covers his c**..., while the rabbi hides his face behind his hands.
When the ladies have passed, the priest asks:
"Why didn't you cover your private parts?"
To which the rabbi replies:
"Well, MY congregation recognizes me by my face. "

A woman was pumping her gas on an extremely hot day.

As she pulled the nozzle from her car, some splashed on her arm and a random spark ignited the gas. As her arm was burning, she called for help to have someone try to quell the flame before it grew too high. To her luck, a couple police officers walked out from inside the gas station and immediately walked over to her.
As she pleaded for help, they approached her and immediately arrested her for unlawfully waving a firearm.

A man walks into a bar, and begins reading the menu overhead the smoking hot bartender.

The sign reads as follows:
* Nachos $4
* Hamburger $3
* Hotdog $2
* Grilled Chicken Sandwich $3
* Grilled Cheese $2
* Fries, Onion Rings, and Tater Tots $1.50
* h**... $10
After he looks over the menu for a moment he asks the bartender, "Are you the one who gives the h**...?" "Why yes I am." replies the bartender seductively. Then says the man, "Wash your hands! I'd like a hamburger."

I went to get my hair cut today but there were so many in front of me.

After an hour the manager started to hand out hot dogs and burgers as an apology for the long wait.
It was the Best Barber Queue ever!

A 60 year old billionaire is getting married to a hot 25 year old woman

At the bachelor party, the first thing the billionaire's friends ask him is how he landed such a hot young woman.
"Easy," he said. "I lied about my age."
"Ah, you told her you're 40 or 45?" one friend asked.
"No," he replied. "I told her I'm 85."

jokes about hot

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these hot jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.