Hot Dog Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

United States

Two immigrants from Africa arrive in the United States and are discussing the difference between their country and the U.S. One of them mentions he's heard that people in the U.S. eat dogs, and if they're going to fit in, they better eat dogs as well. So they head to the nearest hot dog stand and order two 'dogs.' The first guy unwraps his, looks at it, and nervously looks at his friend.
"Which part did you get?"

A Buddhist monk walks up to a hot dog vendor and says Make me one with everything .

The hot dog vendor hands over the sausage and bun with all the trimmings, and the Buddhist hands over a twenty. The vendor pockets it.

The Buddhist asks Where's my change? and the vendor replies change must come from within .

A gun then extends from the Buddhist's chest and he asks again.

The vendor says Whoa, man, where did that come from?

The Buddhist replies This is my inner piece .

A Buddhist monk walks up to a hot dog vendor and says: 'Make me one with everything'....

After a brief chuckle at the monks joke the vendor hands him his hot dog with everything and says 'That'll be $4 please'.
The monk hands over a $10 bill and waits whilst the vendor just stares back at him....
Awkwardly the monk ask's 'What about my change'?.

'Ah' replies the hot dog vendor, 'Change must come from within'.

Why are hot dogs the weirdest dogs?

Because most of them are inbred.

A man was sitting on a park bench eating a hot dog.

A woman with a small dog walked up to sit in another bench across from the man. Almost immediately, the little dog began barking incessantly at the man while he ate.

The man asked "Would you mind if I throw him a bit?"

"Not at all," the woman replied.

The man picked the dog up and tossed him over a wall.

What does the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?

"Make me one with everything."

The vendor makes him the hot dog and the Buddhist hands him a $20 bill. The vendor hands him his hot dog and then the Buddhist sits down at a nearby table to enjoy it. Soon after, to the Buddhist's dismay, he realizes the vendor hasn't been forthcoming with the rest of his money. He knows the hot dog couldn't have been $20, so the Buddhist approaches the vendor and says:

"Excuse me, where's my change?"

To which the vendor replies:

"Change comes only from within."

A buddhist goes to a hot dog stand and says...

"Make me one with everything."

When the guy hands him his hot dog, the monk pays and asks for his change.

The vendor replies, "Change comes from within."

Then the monk gets angry and pulls out his gun.

The vendor clamors "Whoa, whoa! What about inner peace?"

And the monk replies "this IS my inner piece."

Suddenly a bystander calls out. "I've called the cops! They'll be here any minute!"

The vendor, expecting the monk to flee the scene, is quite surprised to see that the monk makes no motion to leave, even as the sounds of police sirens fill the street.

"Aren't you going to run away?" he asks.

The monk shakes his head and replies, "Namaste."

Two men with Alzheimer's are sat in a park...

... when they hear an ice-cream van pull up nearby. Bob turns to Bill and asks 'do you want an ice-cream Bill?'
Bob says 'yes please, but don't forget the chocolate sauce.'

Bob says 'I won't forget, don't worry. Anything else?'

Bill says 'in that case, I'll have some chopped nuts on it too. Don't forget now.'

Bob says 'I won't, don't worry. Chocolate sauce and chopped nuts, coming right up' and

Bob wanders off in the direction of the ice-cream van.

After 40 minutes, Bob finally turns up with two hot-dogs. Bill says 'you fool Bob! I knew you'd forget! I wanted mustard on mine!'

A buddhist monk walks up to a hot dog stand

So the buddhist gets his hot dog, one with everything. Pays the hot dog vendor with a 20$ bill. The vendor takes the money, and then nothing. The buddhist is confused for a moment, until the vendor replies.

Change must come from within.

Jar Full of $10 Bills

A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of $10 bills on the bar. He goes to the barkeep and says "Hey, what's up with that jar?"
The bartender responds "Well, you put in 10 bucks, do 3 challenges, and if you do them you get the whole jar."
The man says "Wow that's pretty cool, what are the challenges?"
The barkeep lists "Well, first ya gotta drink a whole bottle of hot sauce, and no nursing. Second, there's a dog out back who has a sore tooth and he's real grouchy, and you gotta take out the bad tooth bare handed. Last, there's this old lady upstairs who's never done the hokey pokey, if ya know what I mean, and you gotta fix that."
The man replies in disgust "I can't do any of those!" So the man gets drunk. Being drunk, he decides he can do anything and says "Hand me the bottle of hot sauce." So the bartender hands the man the bottle and the man drinks the whole, straight down. He then goes outside to deal with the dog. As the door shuts you hear yelping and screaming and hollering and growling and then.... dead silence... The door creaks open and the man walks in. He's all covered in blood, his shirts torn, he's missing hair... and in a drunken slur he asks "Where's the old lady with the tooth problem?"

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor

and tells him, "make me one with everything."

The vendor gives him a hot dog and the buddhist gives him a twenty dollar bill.
After a moment of waiting, the buddhist asks, "Where's my change?"
The vendor smiles and says, "Ahh, change must come from within."

A cowboy is riding his horse in the desert...

next to them his dog is running along. Suddenly the dog says:"I'm so hot right now. I cant take it anymore". The surprised cowboy looked at the dog and said: "Wow!I didn't know dogs could talk". Then suddenly the horse says: "Neither did I!!"

Two Scottish nuns

Two Scottish nuns had just arrived to the US by boat when one said to the other, "I heard that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs."

"Odd," her companion replied, "But if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."

Nodding emphatically, the mother superior pointed to a hot dog vendor and they both walked towards it. "Two dogs, please," said one.

The vendor was only too pleased to oblige and he wrapped both hot dogs in foil. Excited, the nuns hurried over to a bench and began to unwrap their 'dogs'.

The mother superior was first to open hers, stared at it for a moment, then leaned over to the other nun and whispered cautiously, "What part did you get?"

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vender and says

"Make me one with everything."

He then hands the vender a $20 and starts eating his hot dog. After he's done he asks the vender

"Where's my change?"

The vender replies

"Change only comes from within."

Two Dogs Are In The Vet

Two dogs are in the vet office, waiting to be seen. The first dog turns to the one to his left and asks, "what are you in for?"

The other dog looks at him sadly and says, "our neighbors got a really smoking hot poodle, so I jumped the fence and did her right then and there. I'm here to get neutered."

The first dog sighs and says, "yeah, I'm here for a similar situation. My owner has a really hot girlfriend. She had just gotten out of the shower, and I just couldn't help myself. I plowed her good."

"So you're getting neutered too?"

"Nah, I'm here to get my nails clipped."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor...

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says "make me one with everything".


Sorry if this is a repost. Saw it on an IMDb movie discussion thread a while back, thought it was pretty good

A lady is walking down the street...

and bumps into an old friend. She is surprised to see that he has a hot dog sticking out of his ear.

She says, "Dude, you have a hot dog sticking out of your ear!!"

He frowns and asks, "What?"

She repeats herself a little louder, "Dude, you have a hot dog sticking out of your ear!!"

He looks confused and asks, "WHAT?"

She yells, "DUDE! YOU HAVE A *HOT DOG* STICKING OUT OF YOUR *EAR*!"

He smiles apologetically and says, "Sorry, I can't hear you. I have a hot dog in my ear."

Kim Jong-Il found alive

He's running a hot dog cart in downtown Seoul. It turns out he just wanted a change of Korea.

Which aisle is the Ukrainian sausage in?

A customer asks, "In what aisle will I find the Ukrainian sausage?"

The clerk asks, "Are you Ukrainian?"

The guy says, "Yes I am. But if I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican? Or if I asked for some Irish whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?"

The clerk says, "No, I probably wouldn't."

The guy says, "So why did you ask me if I'm Ukrainian?"

The clerk says, "You're in Home Depot."

A Buddhist monk goes to a hot dog stand

He says, "Make me one with everything."

The hot dog vendor says "That'll be three fiddy" so the monk hands him a five, and gets his hot dog in return, but no change. "where's my change?" asks the monk and the hot dog vendor says

"Change comes from within."

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead escape the women's prison...

(I don't know why my friends like this one so much, feel free to tell them it's awful and confirm my opinion.)

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead escape the women's prison late one night. With the police hot on their heels, they decide to hide in an abandoned factory. Splitting up, they all take their various hiding places in the factory just as the police kick down the door.

The police begin to search, and they hear a noise coming from an old crate. The redhead, who is hiding in the crate, hears them approach and quickly barks, "WOOF, WOOF". "Oh, it's just a stray dog," says an officer and continues the search. Nearby the police hear some rattling from within a pile of old manufacturing equipment. The brunette, who is amid the equipment, quickly does her best cat imitation, "MEOW, MEOW". "Nothing but an old cat," says one of the police as they continue the search.

At last, in the back of the factory, the police hear some rustling coming from a large burlap sack, which they surround and demand, "Who's in there? Come out!" The blonde, who is inside, having heard her fellow escapees successes thinks to herself for a moment and then says, "POOOOTAAAATOOOO."

A Buddhist goes to the hot dog vendor...

And says, "Make me one with everything."
Giving him a fifty, the Buddhist asks for the change and the vendor replies, "Change comes from within."

A redneck is selling sausages.

A redneck is selling sausages. A woman walks up to him and places an order.

The woman asks, "Can I have one hot dog please?"

"How would you like your *meat*?"

The redneck gives the woman a wink

The woman replies, "In bread."

She shoots a wink back at him

Two immigrants from Africa arrive in the United State

Two immigrants from Africa arrive in the United States and are discussing the difference between their country and the U.S.

One of them mentions he's heard that people in the U.S. eat dogs, and if they're going to fit in, they better eat dogs as well. So they head to the nearest hot dog stand and order two 'dogs.'

The first guy unwraps his, looks at it, and nervously looks at his friend.

"Which part did you get?"

Hopefully not a repost, but one of my all time favorites

So a man on a long trip decides to stop at a bar. He walks in, sits down at the bar and looks at the menu.

Soda: $1
Beer: $2
Hot Dog: $2.50
Hamburger: $3
Cheeseburger: $4

Then the man notices something at the very bottom of the menu..

Hand Jobs: $5

The man is a little confused, but then the bartender comes out, a stacked, beautiful blonde. She goes to him and asks "you like anything on the menu?" the man responds "are you the one that gives the hand jobs?" she smiles, "why yes I am" so the man says "ok, well wash your hands because I want a cheeseburger"

Two foreign immigrants have just arrived in the United States by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs."

"Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do." Nodding emphatically, one of the immigrants points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward the cart. "Two dogs, please," she says. The vendor is only too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter. Excited, the companions hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their "dogs." One of them opens the foil and begins to blush. Staring at it for a moment, she turns to her friend and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"

I bought a new car recently.

I got it for a great deal. Oscar Mayer Weiner was going under so they sold me one of their weenie vans. I was really excited so I drove it around town to show off. I pulled up to a Starbucks because I was thirsty and as I was parking I saw the most beautiful girl in the world. She watched me park and smiled as I walked over to her.

I introduced my self and we just started talking. She looked amazing, I complimented her on her dress. This led to a nice conversation about fashion. I began talking about this vest I recently bought at an estate sale. She seemed really interested and said, "We should set up a date, and maybe I can see you in the vest." I excitedly replied, "That would be amazing!"

Things were looking great until she said, "On one condition. You don't pick me up in the hot dog car." Well this upset me greatly and I wasn't sure how to respond. I thought about it for a moment and then I said, "If you can't handle me in my wurst you don't deserve me in my vest."

snake joke

A guy wearing a snake walks up to a hot dog stand and asks for a hot dog for his snake.The woman running the stand says they don't have any buns so it just would be the meat.He says that sorry My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns hun.

There was a runner...

He was the fastest man in the world, and promised to all the chefs in the world that if they could bring him his favorite kind of hot dog while he was on his daily jog, then he would give them free running lessons.

Hundreds of chefs attempted to give him the best recipe after catching him, yet they all failed.

Finally, a humble chef from New York decided to try out. He made his hot dog for this runner and caught up to him.

As soon as the runner took a bite, he was amazed. It WAS the best dog he'd ever eaten. He then asked the chef how he knew the recipe and was able to catch up to him.

The chef was surprised, thinking it was obvious and responded, "Well, I just took my thyme and mustard the energy to ketchup!"

Zen Master and the Hot Dog

The Zen Master is visiting New York City from Tibet. He goes up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything."

The hot dog vendor fixes a hot dog and hands it to the Zen Master, who pays with a $20 bill. The vendor puts the bill in the cash box and closes it.

"Where's my change?" asks the Zen Master.

The vendor responds, "Change must come from within."

A guy gets shipwrecked onto an island with a dog and a pig

So a guy gets shipwrecked onto an island with a dog and a pig. After years, he gets sexual urges and his mind visualizes the pig as a super hot woman. Everytime he tries to get the pig alone and put his arm around it, the dog starts barking loudly and scaring the pig to run away. One day a super beautiful lady gets washed ashore. He nurses her back to health and takes care of her. One day he's sitting right next to her staring at the beautiful sunset then leans into her ear and whispers " hey, can you go take the dog for a walk".

Getting into the pub with your dog

Two guys were out walking their dogs on a hot day, when they pass by a pub.

Mike looks at his friend John and says Let's go in there for a quick drink.

John replies with, They won't let us in with our dogs.

Sure they will, just follow my lead.

Mike walks up to the pub, and sure enough the doorman tell hims, I'm sorry but I can't let you in here with your dog.

Mike replies, But I'm blind and this is my seeing-eye dog.

The doorman says, Okay well in that case, come on in.

John sees this and decideds to do the same thing. He walks up to the front door, but the doorman says, Sorry sir, you can't come in here with a dog.

John replies, I'm blind and this is my seeing-eye dog.

The doorman responds, I don't think so buddy. You mean to tell me you have a chihuahua for a seeing-eye dog?

John stops for a second looking confused, and says, They gave me a chihuahua?

The Buddhist at the hot dog stand. . .

paid with a ten dollar bill, and got nothing in return. After waiting for a minute, he said "what about my change?"
The hot dog vendor replied, "change comes from within."

I have views on my hot neighbour but she's a cat person.

And this morning, my dog came with the cat in its mouth, dead of course.
I was horrified and realised I had to fix this if I ever want to hit her.
So I went to all the kennels in the shire to find the exact same cat.
Finally found it and put the dead cat's collar on it. Send it back to her garden and then ran away.
Ten minutes later, heard a big scream, she was unconscious on the lawn.
I rushed to wake her up and asked what happened, worried she would have spot that the cat was different. She replied, out of breath:
I found my cat dead this morning, my dad came and we buried it. And now I find it back to life!

A man and his son stumble upon two dogs humping...

When the little boy asks his dad what the dogs are doing, he explains that they're making puppies.

Later that night, the man and his wife are going at it hot and heavy in the bedroom. The little boy stumbles in unannounced. In a panic, the parents hurriedly gather themselves.

The boy asks, "daddy, what are you and mommy doing?"

"Well..." his father says, "we were making babies, son."

"Quick, dad," the boy shouts. "Roll her over! I'd rather have puppies."

A monk walks up to a hot-dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything."

~~~

So he pays for his meal and asks for his change.

The vendor shrugs and retorts smugly, "Change comes from within."

What's the best thing to give a dog with a fever?

Tomato sauce and mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog!

One day, Hot Dog Bun Boy came home from school...

His mother saw him come in looking pretty glum and asked, "What's the matter Hot Dog Bun Boy? Did something happen?"

Hot Dog Bun Boy replied, "I was in my history class and it's so frustrating that there are no lessons at all about Hot Dog Buns like us! It's so unfair!"

The mother came up to Hot Dog Bun Boy and gave him a consoling hug. She then said, "I know son, it's not fair. But in the end, history is written by the wieners."

I was disappointed that my friend chose to bring hot dogs to my fancy pot-luck dinner party.

But, I suppose he could have bratwurst.

Friends from school are like hot dogs

You have them because they're there, not because you love them

I stepped into my shower today only to find hot dogs coming out of the shower head

My plumber calls it a "meatier shower".

The most loyal, kind and noble of all dog breeds is the hot dog...

He's the only one who feeds the hand that bites him

What did the Buddhist say to the tofu hot dog vendor?

"Make me one with everything."
Then, after getting his tofu hot dog, the Buddhist hands the vendor aΒ  twenty dollar bill.Β  The vendor takes the money and begins helping theΒ  next customer.
The Buddhist looks puzzled and asks the vendor, "Where is my change?"
The vendor replies, "Change comes from within."

What did the buddhist monk say when he walked up to the hot dog stand?

"Make me one with everything"

Topical Jokes for 6/1

A video has surfaced of Justin Bieber saying the n-word. People are calling it the least offensive Justin Bieber video ever.

In Illinois, a 115-pound-woman won a hot dog eating contest, after she ate 28 hot dogs. The judges then congratulated the 138-pound-woman.

The NSA is reportedly collecting millions of images per day to build a facial-recognition database. The NSA is cataloguing the photos in a massive online database -- it's called Instagram.

I go to the store and buy ten hotdogs, nine burgers, three bags of chips, and six sodas. If I eat nine hot dogs, seven burgers, three bags of chips, and drink five sodas, what do I have?

No self control

Yet another really bad joke

A Buddhist goes up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

A Scotsman is out walking with his girlfriend.

They walk by a hot dog stand, and the girl exclaims, "Mmm, that smells so good!"

"Oh," the Scotsman answers, "do you want to go walk past it again?"

Two Irish nuns are on a boat to the US...

Two Irish nuns are on a boat to the US, when the first nun says, "You know, I've heard they eat dogs in America."
"I've heard the same thing," says the second.
After some discussion, the two nuns decide that they will try some dog in order to start immersing themselves in American cultural customs.
When they get off the boat, they find their way to a hot dog stand on the corner, ask for two dogs, and sit down to eat this new food.
The first nun unwraps her tinfoil and blushes a deep red.
"What is it?!" asks the second nun.

The first nun asks, "What part did you get?"

A man walks into a bar and a busty blonde waitress pours him a drink and asks if he would like some food.

The man looks up at the menu above the bar and sees that it says, "Hot dog $2, Cheese burger $5, Hand job $10".

He asks the waitress, "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"

She winks and replies, "Why yes I am".

The man says, "Well in that case, wash your hands. I want a cheeseburger".

What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel, and a Labrador?????????????

A hot diggity Dog.

A buddhist monk goes to a hot dog stand

"What will it be for you, my friend?" - the vendor asks.

"Make me one with everything"

(Here's a Pick up line) ... You should sell hot dogs !

Because you know how to make a wiener stand!

I was a little disappointed that my friend decided to bring a hot dogs to my fancy pot-luck dinner party.

But, I suppose he could have bratwurst.

The Monk and the Hot Dog stand

A monk walks up to a hotdog vendor. The vendor asks what he would like. The monk replies "make me one with everything"

Just last week a smiling Barack Obama overpaid for hot dogs at my stand, but kindly insisted I "keep the change, son, I don't want it"

It was at this moment I realized how far our beloved president had truly fallen.

Irish Racism

Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'racism' these days.

A customer asked, "In what aisle could I find the Irish sausages?"
The assistant asks, "Are you Irish?"

The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes I am, but let me ask you something...

If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian?

Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?

Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish?

Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican?

Or if I asked for Polish sausage, would you ask if I was Polish?"

The assistant says, "No, I probably wouldn't."

The guy says, "Well then, just because I asked for Irish sausage, why did you ask me if I'm Irish?"


The assistant replied, "Because you're in Halfords.

A guy is hungry and is looking for something to eat.

He approaches a hot dog stand and asks, 'how much is a hot dog?'


'$3 for one and 3 for $10', replied the hotdog vendor


Surprised by this rate, he ponders a bit and says, 'In that case, I'll have one' and pays $3. Then he proceeds to order another one and pays $3 and then another one till he has three hot dogs and quips, 'You see, people like you will never succeed in any business. I just bought 3 hotdogs for $9'.

'Yeah, but... I just sold 3 hotdogs!'

Today I saw two dogs make hot streamy love on the roadside.

It's really hurtful to see your ex moving on so quickly.

What do you call a dog on the beach in the Summer? A hot dog!

Two guys go into a diner...

The waitress comes up and says, "What'll ya have."
The first man says, I'll have a hamburger.
The waitress lifts one arm, pulls a patty out of her armpit, lifts the arm and pulls a bun out of the other armpit.
She turns to the second guy, "What'll you have?"
The second guy says, "I was thinking of having a hot dog but I've changed my mind."

Three men are in a balloon...

an Australian, an American and a Terrorist. The balloon is being weighed down so the Australian says, "My country has to much Vegemite" and threw a jar of Vegemite over the side. The American says, "My country has to many Hot Dogs" and threw a Hot dog over the side. Still the hot air balloon is to heavy so the Terrorist says, "My country has to many bombs" and threw a bomb over the side. Later when the men are walking they came across a woman in tears, they stopped to ask what the matter was, "I was taking my cat to the Vet for a check up and a jar of Vegemite fell on its head and it died". After consoling her the three men went on. Not to long after they came across a homeless man looking very happy, they asked him what he was so happy about and he answered, "God answered my prayer, he dropped a Hot Dog into my hands". Later on the men were walking and they came across a man laughing his head off. The three men asked him "Whats so funny?" and he answered "I was watching TV, and i farted so hard that my whole house blew up"

The hot dog

So a traveling salesman goes into a fairly grungy diner. The waitress comes over, and she doesn't look too good, either.

Deciding he'd better not take any chances, the guy orders two hamburgers and a hot dog.

The waitress comes over a few minutes later with the hamburgers under her arms.

The guy says, "Why are the hamburgers under your arms?"

The waitress says, "I'm keeping them warm."

And the guy says, "Cancel the hot dog."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says ;

"make me one with everything."

^(If this doesn't work on its own, there is an extension:)

The vendor gives him a hot dog and the Buddhist gives him a twenty dollar bill. After a moment of waiting, the Buddhist asks, "Where's my change?" The vendor smiles and says, "Ahh, change must come from within."

A Buddhist monk approaches a hotdog stand and says make me one with everything ...

The vendor makes the hot dog and hands it to the Buddhist monk, who pays with a $20 bill. The vendor puts the bill in the cash box and closes it. Excuse me, but where's my change? asks the Buddhist monk. The vendor replied, Change must come from within.

Two men wisely spend one dollar..

Two men only have a dollar to spend. They both decide to spend this dollar on a beer. One of them leaves and comes back with a hot dog.

"Why did you buy a hotdog? You were supposed to get a beer!"

"Listen, I'm going to put this hot dog in my zipper. We will go to all the gay bars around here and I'll get down on you. The bartenders and people will love us so much that we will get free beer all night!"

The two men ended up going to 9 bars, getting free beer the whole way. When they get to the tenth bar one guy looks to the other and says..

"Hey, my knees are starting to hurt from getting down on you so much."

The other guy replies, "You think you've got it bad? You lost that hot dog 4 bars ago."

What do french people call hot dogs?

Ouiners

I went to the local hot dog guy and said, Can I get a jumbo sausage?

He said, Sure. It shouldn't be long.

Me: In that case, can I get two?

A hot dog walks into a bar

The bartender says, "We don't serve sandwiches here."

The hot dog says, "That's ok. I came for the roast beef."

What is the difference between a gay man and a hot dog?

One is an oscar meyer weiner, the other admires oscar's weinner

What dog can't bark? A hot dog.

A hot dog and a hamburger...

A hot dog and a hamburger are having a drink at the bar. The hot dog says, "I've got some bad news for you and I can either sugar coat it, or give it to you straight." The hamburger replies, "Please--Beef Frank."

A man walks into a bar.

Upon sitting down a busty blond waitress pours him a drink and asks if he would like some food. He looks up at the menu above the bar it says:

Hot dog $2 Cheese burger $5 Hand job $10

He asks the waitress, "Miss are you the one who gives the handjobs?"

She winks and replies, "Why, yes I am".

He says, "Well wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger".

Did you hear about the overweight introvert who thought he had won the hot dog eating contest?

Turns out he was just a bit shy.

Hot dogs

Two foreigners arrive in America for the first time, in New York City. They step out into the city and see a hot dog stand. One says to the other "wow - they eat dogs in America? Well I guess we should give it a try". They each get a hot dog and sit down to eat. After a minute of just staring at his hot dog, one turns to the other and says "hey... what part did you get?".

A Buddhist monk orders a hot dog

A Buddhist monk orders a hot dog and gives the vendor a 20 dollar bill. After eating the hot dog he is still waiting and asks the vendor for his change. The vendor replied, "Change only comes from within."

What do people in Idaho say when they touch something hot?

Hot Potato.

What do people in Mexico say when they touch something hot?

Hot Tamale.

What about people in China?

Hot dog.

What did the Dalai Lama say to the hot dog vendor?

Make me one with everything.

The vendor does and says "That'll be $5.50" and the Lama hands him a $10. After a moment, the Lama is still standing there with his hand out, and asks "Where's my change?" To which the hot dog vendor says, "Change comes from within."

. What did the hot dog say when his friend passed him in the race

A. Wow, I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.

Who's yelling?

There was a man who decided to attend a baseball game by himself. As he sat down he realized he wanted a soda and a hot dog. He goes up and purchases it, but as he is about to sit back down, someone yells out

"HEY, STEVE!".

The man turns around quickly and spills his soda all over his lap. He doesn't say anything and gets up in order to go get another. He once again returns to his seat with a fresh soda in hand. Once again a sudden,

"HEY, STEVE!"

Once again the man turns quickly to see who is yelling and there goes the soda. Without any response he is flustered, but convinces himself to go get one more soda. And right as he sits down,

"HEY, STEVE!"

The man quickly turns around and yells,

"MY NAME IS NOT STEVE!"

Three women walk into a bar and are talking about how loose they are,

The first one fits a hot dog, the second a cucumber and the last one slides down the bar stool.

Change or change?

What did the buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?
Make me one with everything.
The hot dog vendor then gives him the dog and the buddhist gives him a $20.
Buddhist – Hey, where's my change?
Vendor – Change must come from within.

What did the Buddhist Monk say to the Hot Dog Vendor?

"Make me one with everything"

(assuming he would be able to talk in the first place)

A man messaged his ex : Just now ate a tuna taco and suddenly you came in my mind

She messaged him back : just now ordered a mini hot dog , it came in just 2 minutes. Suddenlu you came in my mind

Guy sits down at a diner

He is looking at the menu deciding what he wants when the person next to him orders a double cheeseburger. The waitress takes the order and pulls two frozen burger patties from the freezer. She sticks one under each armpit.

The guy asks what she is doing. She shrugs and says "defrosting the meat". The guy thinks for a minute and says "I'll have the hot dog".

The thief was cracking the safe...

in a warehouse. Suddenly, a parrot in the rafters squawked "Hey! What'cha doin' down there?"
The thief waited a bit, but nothing else happened, so he went back to work on the safe. Occasionally, the parrot would repeat his question.
After 15 minutes or so, he feels hot air on his ear. He looks over to see a huge Rottweiler sitting next to him, panting. He waits a few minutes, but the dog does nothing. After working on the safe a while longer, he feels hot air on his other ear. Yep, there's a Rottweiler on that side, too, but the dog does nothing. All the while, the parrot says "Hey! What'cha doing down there?"
Feeling brave, the thief asks "Can't you say anything else?" to the parrot.
The parrot answers "Yeah! Sic 'em, boys!"

Customer: Give me a hot dog.
Waiter: With pleasure.
Customer: No, with mustard.

What are the funniest hot dog jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Hot Dog? Well, here are the best Hot Dog puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Hot Dog pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes