Hot Dog Jokes
122 hot dog jokes and hilarious hot dog puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hot dog that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Hot Dog Short Jokes
Short hot dog jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hot dog humour may include short fat dog jokes also.
- What's the difference between an anti-vaxxer and a hot dog? The hot dog might actually have some brains in it.
- Kim Jong-Il found alive He's running a hot dog cart in downtown Seoul. It turns out he just wanted a change of Korea.
- A Buddhist goes to the hot dog vendor... And says, "Make me one with everything."
Giving him a fifty, the Buddhist asks for the change and the vendor replies, "Change comes from within." - A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand. After contemplating in silence for a time, the Buddhist looks up to the vendor and says, Make me one with everything.
- A buddist monk walls up to a hot dog vendor... Vendor: "And what would you like?"
Monk: "Make me one with everything." - What's the best thing to give a dog with a fever? Tomato sauce and mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog!
- A monk walks up to a hot-dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." ~~~
So he pays for his meal and asks for his change.
The vendor shrugs and retorts smugly, "Change comes from within." - What did the buddhist monk say when he walked up to the hot dog stand? "Make me one with everything"
- The most loyal, kind and noble of all dog breeds is the hot dog... He's the only one who feeds the hand that bites him
- I stepped into my shower today only to find hot dogs coming out of the shower head My plumber calls it a "meatier shower".
Share These Hot Dog Jokes With Friends
Hot Dog One Liners
Which hot dog one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hot dog? I can suggest the ones about chili dog and hound dog.
- It was so hot today... That I actually saw two fire hydrants fighting over a dog.
- What do you call someone who microwaves hot dogs? Frank Zappa
- What does furrys and fastfood lovers have together? They both love hot dogs
- I saw Vanilla Ice at Madison Square Garden. He sold me a hot dog.
- What did the hamburger say to the hot dog? You're on a roll!
- Dad jokes are like hot dogs. Frankly, I can't get enough.
- What do you call a spoiled hot dog? A Brat.
- What dog can't bark? A hot dog.
- What's the opposite of a hot dog? A chili dog
- The Buddha walks up to a hot dog stand He says, Make me one with everything.
- What do you call a dog on the beach in the Summer? A hot dog!
- I wrapped my Chihuahua in a hot dog bun for warmth.. It was a chili dog.
- What do you call a sunburnt daschund? A hot dog!
- How did the hot dog ask the ketchup out on a date? He mustard up the courage.
- What do french people call hot dogs? Ouiners
Hot Dog Day Jokes
Here is a list of funny hot dog day jokes and even better hot dog day puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Last evening when I came out of hot shower after a long day of work, I saw my dog e**... watch. It was time consuming.
Hot Dog Wiener Jokes
Here is a list of funny hot dog wiener jokes and even better hot dog wiener puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- (Here's a Pick up line) ... You should sell hot dogs ! Because you know how to make a wiener stand!
- Do you sell hot dogs? Because you know how to make a wiener stand.
Uproarious Hot Dog Jokes to Share with Friends
What funny jokes about hot dog you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hungry dog jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hot dog pranks.
Yet another really bad joke
A Buddhist goes up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
A hot dog and a hamburger...
A hot dog and a hamburger are having a drink at the bar. The hot dog says, "I've got some bad news for you and I can either sugar coat it, or give it to you straight." The hamburger replies, "Please--Beef Frank."
Jar Full of $10 Bills
A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of $10 bills on the bar. He goes to the barkeep and says "Hey, what's up with that jar?"
The bartender responds "Well, you put in 10 bucks, do 3 challenges, and if you do them you get the whole jar."
The man says "Wow that's pretty cool, what are the challenges?"
The barkeep lists "Well, first ya gotta drink a whole bottle of hot sauce, and no nursing. Second, there's a dog out back who has a sore tooth and he's real grouchy, and you gotta take out the bad tooth bare handed. Last, there's this old lady upstairs who's never done the hokey pokey, if ya know what I mean, and you gotta fix that."
The man replies in disgust "I can't do any of those!" So the man gets drunk. Being drunk, he decides he can do anything and says "Hand me the bottle of hot sauce." So the bartender hands the man the bottle and the man drinks the whole, straight down. He then goes outside to deal with the dog. As the door shuts you hear yelping and screaming and hollering and growling and then.... dead silence... The door creaks open and the man walks in. He's all covered in blood, his shirts torn, he's missing hair... and in a drunken slur he asks "Where's the old lady with the tooth problem?"
Zen Master and the Hot Dog
The Zen Master is visiting New York City from Tibet. He goes up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything."
The hot dog vendor fixes a hot dog and hands it to the Zen Master, who pays with a $20 bill. The vendor puts the bill in the cash box and closes it.
"Where's my change?" asks the Zen Master.
The vendor responds, "Change must come from within."
A buddhist monk walks up to a hot dog stand
So the buddhist gets his hot dog, one with everything. Pays the hot dog vendor with a 20$ bill. The vendor takes the money, and then nothing. The buddhist is confused for a moment, until the vendor replies.
Change must come from within.
What is the difference between a gay man and a hot dog?
One is an oscar meyer w**..., the other admires oscar's weinner
Topical Jokes for 6/1
A video has surfaced of Justin Bieber saying the n-word. People are calling it the least offensive Justin Bieber video ever.
In Illinois, a 115-pound-woman won a hot dog eating contest, after she ate 28 hot dogs. The judges then congratulated the 138-pound-woman.
The NSA is reportedly collecting millions of images per day to build a f**...-recognition database. The NSA is cataloguing the photos in a massive online database -- it's called Instagram.
Guy sits down at a diner
He is looking at the menu deciding what he wants when the person next to him orders a double cheeseburger. The waitress takes the order and pulls two frozen burger patties from the freezer. She sticks one under each armpit.
The guy asks what she is doing. She shrugs and says "defrosting the meat". The guy thinks for a minute and says "I'll have the hot dog".
A cowboy is riding his horse in the desert...
next to them his dog is running along. Suddenly the dog says:"I'm so hot right now. I cant take it anymore". The surprised cowboy looked at the dog and said: "Wow!I didn't know dogs could talk". Then suddenly the horse says: "Neither did I!!"
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor...
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says "make me one with everything".
Sorry if this is a repost. Saw it on an IMDb movie discussion thread a while back, thought it was pretty good
A buddhist monk goes to a hot dog stand
"What will it be for you, my friend?" - the vendor asks.
"Make me one with everything"
What does the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?
"Make me one with everything."
The vendor makes him the hot dog and the Buddhist hands him a $20 bill. The vendor hands him his hot dog and then the Buddhist sits down at a nearby table to enjoy it. Soon after, to the Buddhist's dismay, he realizes the vendor hasn't been forthcoming with the rest of his money. He knows the hot dog couldn't have been $20, so the Buddhist approaches the vendor and says:
"Excuse me, where's my change?"
To which the vendor replies:
"Change comes only from within."
Did you hear about the overweight introvert who thought he had won the hot dog eating contest?
Turns out he was just a bit shy.
Two Scottish nuns
Two Scottish nuns had just arrived to the US by boat when one said to the other, "I heard that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs."
"Odd," her companion replied, "But if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."
Nodding emphatically, the mother superior pointed to a hot dog vendor and they both walked towards it. "Two dogs, please," said one.
The vendor was only too pleased to oblige and he wrapped both hot dogs in foil. Excited, the nuns hurried over to a bench and began to unwrap their 'dogs'.
The mother superior was first to open hers, stared at it for a moment, then leaned over to the other nun and whispered cautiously, "What part did you get?"
Two men with Alzheimer's are sat in a park...
... when they hear an ice-cream van pull up nearby. Bob turns to Bill and asks 'do you want an ice-cream Bill?'
Bob says 'yes please, but don't forget the chocolate sauce.'
Bob says 'I won't forget, don't worry. Anything else?'
Bill says 'in that case, I'll have some chopped nuts on it too. Don't forget now.'
Bob says 'I won't, don't worry. Chocolate sauce and chopped nuts, coming right up' and
Bob wanders off in the direction of the ice-cream van.
After 40 minutes, Bob finally turns up with two hot-dogs. Bill says 'you fool Bob! I knew you'd forget! I wanted mustard on mine!'
snake joke
A guy wearing a snake walks up to a hot dog stand and asks for a hot dog for his snake.The woman running the stand says they don't have any buns so it just would be the meat.He says that sorry My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns hun.
Friends from school are like hot dogs
You have them because they're there, not because you love them
A buddhist goes to a hot dog stand and says...
"Make me one with everything."
When the guy hands him his hot dog, the monk pays and asks for his change.
The vendor replies, "Change comes from within."
Then the monk gets angry and pulls out his gun.
The vendor clamors "Whoa, whoa! What about inner peace?"
And the monk replies "this IS my inner piece."
Suddenly a bystander calls out. "I've called the cops! They'll be here any minute!"
The vendor, expecting the monk to flee the scene, is quite surprised to see that the monk makes no motion to leave, even as the sounds of police sirens fill the street.
"Aren't you going to run away?" he asks.
The monk shakes his head and replies, "Namaste."
A Buddhist monk approaches a hotdog stand and says make me one with everything ...
The vendor makes the hot dog and hands it to the Buddhist monk, who pays with a $20 bill. The vendor puts the bill in the cash box and closes it. Excuse me, but where's my change? asks the Buddhist monk. The vendor replied, Change must come from within.
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor
and tells him, "make me one with everything."
The vendor gives him a hot dog and the buddhist gives him a twenty dollar bill.
After a moment of waiting, the buddhist asks, "Where's my change?"
The vendor smiles and says, "Ahh, change must come from within."
Hot dogs
Two foreigners arrive in America for the first time, in New York City. They step out into the city and see a hot dog stand. One says to the other "wow - they eat dogs in America? Well I guess we should give it a try". They each get a hot dog and sit down to eat. After a minute of just staring at his hot dog, one turns to the other and says "hey... what part did you get?".
A hot dog walks into a bar
The bartender says, "We don't serve sandwiches here."
The hot dog says, "That's ok. I came for the roast beef."
Today I saw two dogs make hot streamy love on the roadside.
It's really hurtful to see your ex moving on so quickly.
United States
Two immigrants from Africa arrive in the United States and are discussing the difference between their country and the U.S. One of them mentions he's heard that people in the U.S. eat dogs, and if they're going to fit in, they better eat dogs as well. So they head to the nearest hot dog stand and order two 'dogs.' The first guy unwraps his, looks at it, and nervously looks at his friend.
"Which part did you get?"
A Scotsman is out walking with his girlfriend.
They walk by a hot dog stand, and the girl exclaims, "Mmm, that smells so good!"
"Oh," the Scotsman answers, "do you want to go walk past it again?"
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says ;
"make me one with everything."
^(If this doesn't work on its own, there is an extension:)
The vendor gives him a hot dog and the Buddhist gives him a twenty dollar bill. After a moment of waiting, the Buddhist asks, "Where's my change?" The vendor smiles and says, "Ahh, change must come from within."
Just last week a smiling barack obama overpaid for hot dogs at my stand, but kindly insisted I "keep the change, son, I don't want it"
It was at this moment I realized how far our beloved president had truly fallen.
Two immigrants from Africa arrive in the United State
Two immigrants from Africa arrive in the United States and are discussing the difference between their country and the U.S.
One of them mentions he's heard that people in the U.S. eat dogs, and if they're going to fit in, they better eat dogs as well. So they head to the nearest hot dog stand and order two 'dogs.'
The first guy unwraps his, looks at it, and nervously looks at his friend.
"Which part did you get?"
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vender and says
"Make me one with everything."
He then hands the vender a $20 and starts eating his hot dog. After he's done he asks the vender
"Where's my change?"
The vender replies
"Change only comes from within."
A Buddhist monk goes to a hot dog stand
He says, "Make me one with everything."
The hot dog vendor says "That'll be three fiddy" so the monk hands him a five, and gets his hot dog in return, but no change. "where's my change?" asks the monk and the hot dog vendor says
"Change comes from within."
A Buddhist monk walks up to a hot dog vendor and says: 'Make me one with everything'....
After a brief chuckle at the monks joke the vendor hands him his hot dog with everything and says 'That'll be $4 please'.
The monk hands over a $10 bill and waits whilst the vendor just stares back at him....
Awkwardly the monk ask's 'What about my change'?.
'Ah' replies the hot dog vendor, 'Change must come from within'.
A r**... is selling sausages.
A r**... is selling sausages. A woman walks up to him and places an order.
The woman asks, "Can I have one hot dog please?"
"How would you like your *meat*?"
The r**... gives the woman a wink
The woman replies, "In bread."
She shoots a wink back at him
A Buddhist monk orders a hot dog
A Buddhist monk orders a hot dog and gives the vendor a 20 dollar bill. After eating the hot dog he is still waiting and asks the vendor for his change. The vendor replied, "Change only comes from within."
A man was sitting on a park bench eating a hot dog.
A woman with a small dog walked up to sit in another bench across from the man. Almost immediately, the little dog began barking incessantly at the man while he ate.
The man asked "Would you mind if I throw him a bit?"
"Not at all," the woman replied.
The man picked the dog up and tossed him over a wall.
Why are hot dogs the weirdest dogs?
Because most of them are i**....
The Buddhist at the hot dog stand. . .
paid with a ten dollar bill, and got nothing in return. After waiting for a minute, he said "what about my change?"
The hot dog vendor replied, "change comes from within."
What do people in Idaho say when they touch something hot?
Hot Potato.
What do people in Mexico say when they touch something hot?
Hot tamale.
What about people in China?
Hot dog.
. What did the hot dog say when his friend passed him in the race
A. Wow, I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.
A man walks into a bar and a b**... blonde waitress pours him a drink and asks if he would like some food.
The man looks up at the menu above the bar and sees that it says, "Hot dog $2, Cheese burger $5, h**... $10".
He asks the waitress, "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"
She winks and replies, "Why yes I am".
The man says, "Well in that case, wash your hands. I want a cheeseburger".
Two guys go into a diner...
The waitress comes up and says, "What'll ya have."
The first man says, I'll have a hamburger.
The waitress lifts one arm, pulls a patty out of her armpit, lifts the arm and pulls a bun out of the other armpit.
She turns to the second guy, "What'll you have?"
The second guy says, "I was thinking of having a hot dog but I've changed my mind."
One day, Hot Dog Bun Boy came home from school...
His mother saw him come in looking pretty glum and asked, "What's the matter Hot Dog Bun Boy? Did something happen?"
Hot Dog Bun Boy replied, "I was in my history class and it's so frustrating that there are no lessons at all about Hot Dog Buns like us! It's so unfair!"
The mother came up to Hot Dog Bun Boy and gave him a consoling hug. She then said, "I know son, it's not fair. But in the end, history is written by the wieners."
I was disappointed that my friend chose to bring hot dogs to my fancy p**...-luck dinner party.
But, I suppose he could have bratwurst.
A man is out walking his dog, and its hot, so he steps into a bar and asks for a glass of punch ...
The bartender says ... your dog isn't *that* shaggy
What did the Buddhist say to the tofu hot dog vendor?
"Make me one with everything."
Then, after getting his tofu hot dog, the Buddhist hands the vendor a twenty dollar bill. The vendor takes the money and begins helping the next customer.
The Buddhist looks puzzled and asks the vendor, "Where is my change?"
The vendor replies, "Change comes from within."
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel, and a Labrador?????????????
A hot diggity Dog.
A Buddhist monk walks up to a hot dog vendor and says Make me one with everything .
The hot dog vendor hands over the sausage and bun with all the trimmings, and the Buddhist hands over a twenty. The vendor pockets it.
The Buddhist asks Where's my change? and the vendor replies change must come from within .
A gun then extends from the Buddhist's chest and he asks again.
The vendor says Whoa, man, where did that come from?
The Buddhist replies This is my inner piece .
I go to the store and buy ten hotdogs, nine burgers, three bags of chips, and six sodas. If I eat nine hot dogs, seven burgers, three bags of chips, and drink five sodas, what do I have?
No self control
I went to the local hot dog guy and said, Can I get a jumbo sausage?
He said, Sure. It shouldn't be long.
Me: In that case, can I get two?
The Monk and the Hot Dog stand
A monk walks up to a hotdog vendor. The vendor asks what he would like. The monk replies "make me one with everything"
The hot dog
So a traveling salesman goes into a fairly grungy diner. The waitress comes over, and she doesn't look too good, either.
Deciding he'd better not take any chances, the guy orders two hamburgers and a hot dog.
The waitress comes over a few minutes later with the hamburgers under her arms.
The guy says, "Why are the hamburgers under your arms?"
The waitress says, "I'm keeping them warm."
And the guy says, "Cancel the hot dog."
Jokes
Vegan hot dogs are basically the s**... of food .
You want the sausage but not the meat
I did not lose a leg in Vietnam so I could serve hot dogs to teenagers!
You've got both your legs, Frank
Like I said, I did not lose a leg in Vietnam.
-Mitch Hedberg (That 70's Show)
2 dudes walk into a bar....
half way through drinking they realize that they dont have money.
guy 1 pulls out a hot dog and say I have a idea. they start to "play" with the hot dog.
the bartender wasn't having any of it and kicked them out.
guys 2 thought to go to a couple more bars and they keep pulling the hot dog trick.
by the end of the night they're smashed. Guy 2 say "hey I'm hungry, you still got that hot dog?"
guy 1 says, "dude, I lost that's thing 4 bars ago".
How did the hot dog get a date?
He mustard up the courage to ask.
A boy asked his dad, What's a c**... meant for? The father replied...
Condiments are used to add flavor to certain foods, most commonly hot dogs and burgers.
A w**... is talking to his girlfriend...
She says, "Why is it that when we're around my friends you say you're a sausage, and around your friends you act like a hot dog?"
He replies, "Well, I'll have to be frank with you."
I went to get my hair cut today but there were so many in front of me.
After an hour the manager started to hand out hot dogs and burgers as an apology for the long wait.
It was the Best Barber Queue ever!
2 foreign immigrants have just arrived in USA by boat and one says to the other,
''"I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do." Nodding emphatically, one of the immigrants points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward the cart. "Two dogs, please," she says. The vendor is only too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter. Excited, the companions hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their "dogs." One of them opens the foil and begins to blush. Staring at it for a moment, she turns to her friend and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"
There was a man who wasn't creative
He named his kids numbers in the order they were born (the first child was 1, second child 2 and so on)
After he had 100 kids , a fire burned his house down leaving only one child. 90
90 grew up and had his own kids that weren't creative and when they saw a stray dog , they took him in and called him 'that'
One hot summer day 'that' was run over by a car
Ofc they replaced 'that' but they never forgot him
Only 90's kids remember that
What did the constipated hot dog say?
MUST...t**......
a traveling salesman ...
So a traveling salesman goes into a fairly grungy diner. The waitress comes over, and she doesn't look much better.
Deciding not to take any chances, the salesman orders two hamburgers and a hot dog.
The waitress comes over a few minutes later with the hamburgers under her arms.
The salesman says, "Why are the hamburgers under your arms?"
The waitress says, "I'm keeping them warm."
And the salesman says, "Cancel the hot dog."
The one about the Buddhist Monk and the Hot Dog Vendor
A Buddhist monk says to a hot dog vendor: "Make me one with everything."
The hot dog vendor hands him a hot dog with the works, and the monk pays $20.
"Where's my change?" asks the monk
"Change comes from within," replies the hot dog vendor.
A man walks into a bar. Upon sitting down a b**... blond waitress pours him a drink and asks if he would like some food.
He looks up at the menu above the bar. It says Hot Dog $2, Cheeseburger $5, and h**... $10.
He asks the waitress, "Miss, are you the one who gives the h**...?"
She winks and replies, "Why yes I am." He says, "Well wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic school for lunch.
At the head of the table was a large tray of hot dogs. The nun posted a sign on the hot dog tray, "Take only one. God is watching."
Further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One child whispered to another, "Take all you want. God is watching the hot dogs."
Hot Dog
A foreign tourist was taking a walk around New York, but was getting very hungry and had only 2 dollars on him . Then, he saw a hot dog stand with a sign "Hot Dog - 2$". Unable to understand what's the meaning of "hot dog", he took out the dictionary. After a brief moment, he looked up in confusion and thought: "If there is nothing to eat, I will eat the d**... dog."
He ordered and got a long piece of bread with sausage in between it. He looked straight at the salesman eyes in frustration and asked: "From a whole dog, all I get is the dog's d\*c**...?"
