Hot Dog Jokes
121 hot dog jokes and hilarious hot dog puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hot dog that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Hot Dog Short Jokes
Short hot dog jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hot dog humour may include short fat dog jokes also.
- What's the difference between an anti-vaxxer and a hot dog? The hot dog might actually have some brains in it.
- Kim Jong-Il found alive He's running a hot dog cart in downtown Seoul. It turns out he just wanted a change of Korea.
- What's the best thing to give a dog with a fever? Tomato sauce and mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog!
- The most loyal, kind and noble of all dog breeds is the hot dog... He's the only one who feeds the hand that bites him
- I stepped into my shower today only to find hot dogs coming out of the shower head My plumber calls it a "meatier shower".
- Friends from school are like hot dogs You have them because they're there, not because you love them
- I did not lose a leg in Vietnam so I could serve hot dogs to teenagers! You've got both your legs, Frank
Like I said, I did not lose a leg in Vietnam.
-Mitch Hedberg (That 70's Show) - What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel, and a Labrador????????????? A hot diggity Dog.
- A Scotsman is out walking with his girlfriend. They walk by a hot dog stand, and the girl exclaims, "Mmm, that smells so good!"
"Oh," the Scotsman answers, "do you want to go walk past it again?" - Today I saw two dogs make hot streamy love on the roadside. It's really hurtful to see your ex moving on so quickly.
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Hot Dog One Liners
Which hot dog one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hot dog? I can suggest the ones about chili dog and hound dog.
- It was so hot today... That I actually saw two fire hydrants fighting over a dog.
- What do you call someone who microwaves hot dogs? Frank Zappa
- What does furrys and fastfood lovers have together? They both love hot dogs
- I saw Vanilla Ice at Madison Square Garden. He sold me a hot dog.
- What did the hamburger say to the hot dog? You're on a roll!
- Dad jokes are like hot dogs. Frankly, I can't get enough.
- What do you call a spoiled hot dog? A Brat.
- What dog can't bark? A hot dog.
- What's the opposite of a hot dog? A chili dog
- What do you call a dog on the beach in the Summer? A hot dog!
- I wrapped my Chihuahua in a hot dog bun for warmth.. It was a chili dog.
- What do you call a sunburnt daschund? A hot dog!
- How did the hot dog ask the ketchup out on a date? He mustard up the courage.
- What do french people call hot dogs? Ouiners
- What's the opposite of a hot dog? A pupsicle.
Hot Dog Wiener Jokes
Here is a list of funny hot dog wiener jokes and even better hot dog wiener puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- (Here's a Pick up line) ... You should sell hot dogs ! Because you know how to make a wiener stand!
- Do you sell hot dogs? Because you know how to make a wiener stand.
Uproarious Hot Dog Jokes to Share with Friends
What funny jokes about hot dog you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hungry dog jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hot dog pranks.
What did the dog say to the hot dog bun?
"Are you pure bred?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two nuns from Ireland come to tour New York City. Before they come, they hear that Americans eat dogs, so they both agree to try it when they arrive. As they're walking around New York, they hear, "Hot Dogs! Get your hot dogs!" They rush over to get one! As the first nun opens hers, her face turns white and she gasps, "What part did you get?!"
Customer: Give me a hot dog.
Waiter: With pleasure.
Customer: No, with mustard.
A married couple go to a restaurant.
A blonde waitress takes their order and returns several minutes later, carrying a plate with only a plain hamburger bun on it.
The man asks, "Where's the burger?"
The waitress lifts her arm and pulls out a burger from her armpit.
"I was keeping it warm," she replies.
The wife says, "Please cancel my hot dog order."
On the way home from a hunt, a hunter stops by the grocery store.
"Give me a couple of steaks," he says.
"We're out of steaks but we have hot dogs and chicken," says the butcher.
"Hotdogs and chicken?!" yells the hunter. "How can I tell my wife I bagged a couple of hotdogs and chickens?"
A hot dog and a hamburger...
A hot dog and a hamburger are having a drink at the bar. The hot dog says, "I've got some bad news for you and I can either sugar coat it, or give it to you straight." The hamburger replies, "Please--Beef Frank."
Jar Full of $10 Bills
A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of $10 bills on the bar. He goes to the barkeep and says "Hey, what's up with that jar?"
The bartender responds "Well, you put in 10 bucks, do 3 challenges, and if you do them you get the whole jar."
The man says "Wow that's pretty cool, what are the challenges?"
The barkeep lists "Well, first ya gotta drink a whole bottle of hot sauce, and no nursing. Second, there's a dog out back who has a sore tooth and he's real grouchy, and you gotta take out the bad tooth bare handed. Last, there's this old lady upstairs who's never done the hokey pokey, if ya know what I mean, and you gotta fix that."
The man replies in disgust "I can't do any of those!" So the man gets drunk. Being drunk, he decides he can do anything and says "Hand me the bottle of hot sauce." So the bartender hands the man the bottle and the man drinks the whole, straight down. He then goes outside to deal with the dog. As the door shuts you hear yelping and screaming and hollering and growling and then.... dead silence... The door creaks open and the man walks in. He's all covered in blood, his shirts torn, he's missing hair... and in a drunken slur he asks "Where's the old lady with the tooth problem?"
Why did no one laugh at the hot dogs joke?
Because it was too cheesy.
I work at a hot dog stand and tell this from time to time.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is the difference between a gay man and a hot dog?
One is an oscar meyer w**..., the other admires oscar's weinner
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Topical Jokes for 6/1
A video has surfaced of Justin Bieber saying the n-word. People are calling it the least offensive Justin Bieber video ever.
In Illinois, a 115-pound-woman won a hot dog eating contest, after she ate 28 hot dogs. The judges then congratulated the 138-pound-woman.
The NSA is reportedly collecting millions of images per day to build a f**...-recognition database. The NSA is cataloguing the photos in a massive online database -- it's called Instagram.
Have you guys heard the joke about Helen Keller eating a hot dog?
It's okay, she never heard it either
Did you hear about all the Hamburgers that showed up at the Hot Dogs' prom?
They were in abundance.
A hot dog is at the snack bar ....
"When a hamburger walked by he whistled and said, "wow baby, nice buns! " the hamburger just ignored him and thought to herself "what a wienie"...
A cowboy is riding his horse in the desert...
next to them his dog is running along. Suddenly the dog says:"I'm so hot right now. I cant take it anymore". The surprised cowboy looked at the dog and said: "Wow!I didn't know dogs could talk". Then suddenly the horse says: "Neither did I!!"
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor...
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says "make me one with everything".
Sorry if this is a repost. Saw it on an IMDb movie discussion thread a while back, thought it was pretty good
Are you hot, dawg?
Funniest dog joke I tell my pet beagle every hot afternoon. He laughs everytime.
What does the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?
"Make me one with everything."
The vendor makes him the hot dog and the Buddhist hands him a $20 bill. The vendor hands him his hot dog and then the Buddhist sits down at a nearby table to enjoy it. Soon after, to the Buddhist's dismay, he realizes the vendor hasn't been forthcoming with the rest of his money. He knows the hot dog couldn't have been $20, so the Buddhist approaches the vendor and says:
"Excuse me, where's my change?"
To which the vendor replies:
"Change comes only from within."
Did you hear about the overweight introvert who thought he had won the hot dog eating contest?
Turns out he was just a bit shy.
Two Scottish nuns
Two Scottish nuns had just arrived to the US by boat when one said to the other, "I heard that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs."
"Odd," her companion replied, "But if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."
Nodding emphatically, the mother superior pointed to a hot dog vendor and they both walked towards it. "Two dogs, please," said one.
The vendor was only too pleased to oblige and he wrapped both hot dogs in foil. Excited, the nuns hurried over to a bench and began to unwrap their 'dogs'.
The mother superior was first to open hers, stared at it for a moment, then leaned over to the other nun and whispered cautiously, "What part did you get?"
Two men with Alzheimer's are sat in a park...
... when they hear an ice-cream van pull up nearby. Bob turns to Bill and asks 'do you want an ice-cream Bill?'
Bob says 'yes please, but don't forget the chocolate sauce.'
Bob says 'I won't forget, don't worry. Anything else?'
Bill says 'in that case, I'll have some chopped nuts on it too. Don't forget now.'
Bob says 'I won't, don't worry. Chocolate sauce and chopped nuts, coming right up' and
Bob wanders off in the direction of the ice-cream van.
After 40 minutes, Bob finally turns up with two hot-dogs. Bill says 'you fool Bob! I knew you'd forget! I wanted mustard on mine!'
snake joke
A guy wearing a snake walks up to a hot dog stand and asks for a hot dog for his snake.The woman running the stand says they don't have any buns so it just would be the meat.He says that sorry My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns hun.
What do you call the UN translator who quit his job to pursue his dream of becoming a hot dog eating champion?
A cunning linguist who became a professional masticator.
A man enters a taxi with a hot dog.
The driver says "Excuse me, but this is not a restaurant"
The guy replies, "I know. That's why I brought my own food."
A buddhist goes to a hot dog stand and says...
"Make me one with everything."
When the guy hands him his hot dog, the monk pays and asks for his change.
The vendor replies, "Change comes from within."
Then the monk gets angry and pulls out his gun.
The vendor clamors "Whoa, whoa! What about inner peace?"
And the monk replies "this IS my inner piece."
Suddenly a bystander calls out. "I've called the cops! They'll be here any minute!"
The vendor, expecting the monk to flee the scene, is quite surprised to see that the monk makes no motion to leave, even as the sounds of police sirens fill the street.
"Aren't you going to run away?" he asks.
The monk shakes his head and replies, "Namaste."
It really stinks when you bite into what you expect to be a hot dog but it's actually a sausage
That's the wurst
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hot dogs
Two foreigners arrive in America for the first time, in New York City. They step out into the city and see a hot dog stand. One says to the other "wow - they eat dogs in America? Well I guess we should give it a try". They each get a hot dog and sit down to eat. After a minute of just staring at his hot dog, one turns to the other and says "hey... what part did you get?".
A hot dog walks into a bar
The bartender says, "We don't serve sandwiches here."
The hot dog says, "That's ok. I came for the roast beef."
If I ever get a pet rabbit, I should put it in a food themed Halloween costume.
I'll call it a Hot Dog Bun.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
United States
Two immigrants from Africa arrive in the United States and are discussing the difference between their country and the U.S. One of them mentions he's heard that people in the U.S. eat dogs, and if they're going to fit in, they better eat dogs as well. So they head to the nearest hot dog stand and order two 'dogs.' The first guy unwraps his, looks at it, and nervously looks at his friend.
"Which part did you get?"
A Man's Guide to Fine Dining
A man invited a woman over to his home for a seven-course meal.
That's lovely, she said. What are we going to have?
He said, A hot dog and a six-pack of beer.
My dog is in the kitchen making herself a hot dog
Sitting in front of the heater vent, its cold out.
Just last week a smiling barack obama overpaid for hot dogs at my stand, but kindly insisted I "keep the change, son, I don't want it"
It was at this moment I realized how far our beloved president had truly fallen.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two immigrants from Africa arrive in the United State
Two immigrants from Africa arrive in the United States and are discussing the difference between their country and the U.S.
One of them mentions he's heard that people in the U.S. eat dogs, and if they're going to fit in, they better eat dogs as well. So they head to the nearest hot dog stand and order two 'dogs.'
The first guy unwraps his, looks at it, and nervously looks at his friend.
"Which part did you get?"
TIL Neville Chamberlain worked at a hot dog stand as a teenager.
It really prepared him for a career in giving out concessions.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A r**... is selling sausages.
A r**... is selling sausages. A woman walks up to him and places an order.
The woman asks, "Can I have one hot dog please?"
"How would you like your *meat*?"
The r**... gives the woman a wink
The woman replies, "In bread."
She shoots a wink back at him
A man was sitting on a park bench eating a hot dog.
A woman with a small dog walked up to sit in another bench across from the man. Almost immediately, the little dog began barking incessantly at the man while he ate.
The man asked "Would you mind if I throw him a bit?"
"Not at all," the woman replied.
The man picked the dog up and tossed him over a wall.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I️ got invited to a c**...-out
It was just a bunch of dudes standing around while one other guy grilled hot dogs.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why are hot dogs the weirdest dogs?
Because most of them are i**....
What do people in Idaho say when they touch something hot?
Hot Potato.
What do people in Mexico say when they touch something hot?
Hot tamale.
What about people in China?
Hot dog.
. What did the hot dog say when his friend passed him in the race
A. Wow, I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.
Two guys go into a diner...
The waitress comes up and says, "What'll ya have."
The first man says, I'll have a hamburger.
The waitress lifts one arm, pulls a patty out of her armpit, lifts the arm and pulls a bun out of the other armpit.
She turns to the second guy, "What'll you have?"
The second guy says, "I was thinking of having a hot dog but I've changed my mind."
One day, Hot Dog Bun Boy came home from school...
His mother saw him come in looking pretty glum and asked, "What's the matter Hot Dog Bun Boy? Did something happen?"
Hot Dog Bun Boy replied, "I was in my history class and it's so frustrating that there are no lessons at all about Hot Dog Buns like us! It's so unfair!"
The mother came up to Hot Dog Bun Boy and gave him a consoling hug. She then said, "I know son, it's not fair. But in the end, history is written by the wieners."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was disappointed that my friend chose to bring hot dogs to my fancy p**...-luck dinner party.
But, I suppose he could have bratwurst.
A man messaged his ex : Just now ate a tuna taco and suddenly you came in my mind
She messaged him back : just now ordered a mini hot dog , it came in just 2 minutes. Suddenlu you came in my mind
A man is out walking his dog, and its hot, so he steps into a bar and asks for a glass of punch ...
The bartender says ... your dog isn't *that* shaggy
What's the difference between a hot dog and a heat stroked dog?
I don't leave my hot dog in the car for an hour in the summertime with the intention of eating it when I return.
My dog was sitting down next to the grill while I was grilling something,
I guess he wanted to be a hot dog
Do you know what I love most about baseball?
The pine tar, the resin, the grass, the dirt. And that's just in the hot dogs
A yam and a hot dog are having a heart-to-heart...
Yam: Can I be candied with you?
Hot dog: In that case, let me be frank.
A Zen Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says,
Give me a hot dog and put everything on it.
(My son told me this and honestly, I don't see the humor in it.)
Why do you want to keep your hot dog away from your moose?
They'll cover it in moosturd.
I go to the store and buy ten hotdogs, nine burgers, three bags of chips, and six sodas. If I eat nine hot dogs, seven burgers, three bags of chips, and drink five sodas, what do I have?
No self control
I went to the local hot dog guy and said, Can I get a jumbo sausage?
He said, Sure. It shouldn't be long.
Me: In that case, can I get two?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Research says that men think of s**... once every seven seconds.
That's why I always e**... hot dogs in six.
Being a transgender is hard.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How is a chinese thief called?
Chinese How hot is the thief?
Imagines.
What Chinese cop?
Tooth imagines.
That the Chinese police dogs?
Tooth imagines that dealer.
What's hut by the Chinese police dogs?
Long Fing that dealer tooth construction.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Jokes
Vegan hot dogs are basically the s**... of food .
You want the sausage but not the meat
I am a Latino pansexual with no regrets
Hot dog buns work ok, baguettes are good when they are hollowed out, and donuts were probably made for it.
So I don't know why my friend always is saying that I'm doing it wrong
2 dudes walk into a bar....
half way through drinking they realize that they dont have money.
guy 1 pulls out a hot dog and say I have a idea. they start to "play" with the hot dog.
the bartender wasn't having any of it and kicked them out.
guys 2 thought to go to a couple more bars and they keep pulling the hot dog trick.
by the end of the night they're smashed. Guy 2 say "hey I'm hungry, you still got that hot dog?"
guy 1 says, "dude, I lost that's thing 4 bars ago".
How is a hotdog made
Well it's easy you see
Find a hot lady
Dress her up in a dog costume
And add buns on her buns
Voila the Hawt Dawg
Breaking news: Rare time traveling bloodthirsty Fire elemental wolves spotted in Russia!
In Soviet Russia, the hot dogs eat you.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A boy asked his dad, What's a c**... meant for? The father replied...
Condiments are used to add flavor to certain foods, most commonly hot dogs and burgers.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A w**... is talking to his girlfriend...
She says, "Why is it that when we're around my friends you say you're a sausage, and around your friends you act like a hot dog?"
He replies, "Well, I'll have to be frank with you."
I went to get my hair cut today but there were so many in front of me.
After an hour the manager started to hand out hot dogs and burgers as an apology for the long wait.
It was the Best Barber Queue ever!
There was a man who wasn't creative
He named his kids numbers in the order they were born (the first child was 1, second child 2 and so on)
After he had 100 kids , a fire burned his house down leaving only one child. 90
90 grew up and had his own kids that weren't creative and when they saw a stray dog , they took him in and called him 'that'
One hot summer day 'that' was run over by a car
Ofc they replaced 'that' but they never forgot him
Only 90's kids remember that
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the constipated hot dog say?
MUST...t**......
