Hot Chicks Jokes
60 hot chicks jokes and hilarious hot chicks puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hot chicks that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Hot Chicks Short Jokes
Short hot chicks jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hot chicks humour may include short hot women jokes also.
- My jokes are like hot chicks Hard to get, and when you do they are not anywhere near as good as you thought they would be
- I'm not usually one to brag about my chick-magnet prowess... but that hot girl with the eye patch keeps winking at me.
- What did the egg say to the boiling water? What did the egg say to the boiling water?
it's going to be a while before I get hot - I just got laid by a chick. - Two tens walked into a nightclub. One walked out. How many hot chicks were left? Two. A ten and a nine ain't bad.
- So there are two kinds of people. Hot people and smart people. So my friend is like:"You think I'm ugly?"
I said:"No, You're the hottest chick in school." - What's the difference between a chick pea and a garbanzo bean? I don't want a hot garbanzo beaning all over my face
- My uncle was telling me about some hot chicks at the elementary school Apparently it's farm week
- I was seeing this h**... about twice a week. But last week she saw me and closes her blinds now.
- So there's this hot NA chick in my chemistry class Her attitude is always salty, but hey, her b**... is sodium fine.
- TIFU by sitting next to a really hot Thai chick on the bus home today and kept thinking, "Don't get an e**..., don't don't don't..."
But she did.
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Hot Chicks One Liners
Which hot chicks one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hot chicks? I can suggest the ones about hot girl and hot stuff.
- Why did the rooster cross the road? He heard there were some pretty hot chicks at KFC.
- What do you call a hot Arab chick? A bombshell
- What's black and red and lies with hot chicks? Charcoal.
- I think gay marriage should be legal. If its too hot chicks.
- What's the best way to pick up hot Jewish chicks? With a shovel.
- Usually hot chicks shock me, but your mother doesn't... ... she has too much mass
- What do you call a h**... in Boston? A tourist
- What does an alcoholic say if he sees a h**...? I wanna liquor.
- If you were a h**.... You probably just hatched!
- What do you call a h**... you meet in another country? Abroad.
- I got a "you up?" Text last night from a h**.... Unfortunately I wasn't up.
- What do you call a h**... looking for s**...? A Stud-Finder.
- I just saved a h**... from being r**.... How? Self control, man. Self control
- What does a Japanese guy says to a very h**... when she passes by? Wasabi
- Why are there no hot chicks among the n**...? They're only alt-right
Hot Chicks Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about hot chicks you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fat girls jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hot chicks pranks.
A super h**... walks into her church and says to the priest, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned." The priest says, "Tell me dear, what's on your mind?"
"Well Father, I am a s**... addict, and lately I discovered that I like doing it with priests. I had s**... with the one from the church two blocks from here, the one five blocks from here, and also the one from the church nearby."
The priest says, "It's okay, just pray three times a day for one week and it will all be okay." As the girl tries to go out, the priest says, "Oh, and dont forget that I will always be here for you!"
I was b**... this h**... on her kitchen table when we heard the front door open
She said "it's my husband!. Quick, try the b**...!"
Thinking back, I really should have ran but you don't get offers like that every day.
A man goes to a community gym...
He sees a sign for a weight loss program which says, "Lose 5 pounds in one week!". Curious, he signs up for the program. He begins the program the next day and upon entering the designated area finds an attractive woman with a sign on her shirt that says,"If you catch me, you can have your way with me. You have 30 minutes." He chases her around the area for a week and sure enough loses 5 pounds.
Wanting to lose a bit more weight though, he decides to try the next level of the program. This program guarantees he'll lose 15 pounds in a month. He gets to the designated area and once again a smoking h**... with a sign saying,"If you catch me you can have your way with me." Runs around while he chases her for 30 minutes. This goes on for a month and he loses 15 pounds.
Feeling extra confident and wanting to look his absolute best for a college reunion coming up in two months, he signs up for the highest level of the course. It guarantees he'll lose 50 pounds in 2 months. He gets to the designated area and upon closing the door turns around to see a 300 pound man of pure muscle with a sign that says the following:
"If I catch you, I have my way with you."
Fat chicks.
Last night I was having some wings and beer with a coworker after work. There were these two pretty, but kinda fat girls drinking at the bar and being loud. They had what I could have sworn was a Scottish accent.
I'm a big fan of girls from the UK, so I struck up a conversation. I asked them, "So... you two ladies are from Scotland?"
I could see immediately that I had offended them. The brunette scowled and said, hotly, "WALES!"
I apologized and said, "I'm sorry. Are you two whales from Scotland?"
So one time this chick is going down on me,
and I give her the "courtesy tap" because I'm about to blow. She just keeps on going and I'm like, "I hit the jackpot here!" So I finish, and she leans back and picks up a glass off the coffee table and spits in it.
I was like, "Wow, that was *hot*.
She says, "Well, I don't s**...."
I say, "Well, that'd be weird if you told me you were waitin' for it to cool off.."
Stole it from somebody way funnier than me.
What do you call h**... who castrates her boyfriend?
PRETTY NUTS.
This h**... at the harbor said that she really dug the way that I ate those Oysters.
All I could say was "Shucks."
A Chinese man is at a bar
After having a few drinks and loosening up he decides to try at chatting up a cute blonde lady.
He introduces himself and from the start this lady hangs off his every word. She's twirling her hair, shifting in her seat and taking in every word he says.
They spend another hour at the bar before inviting her back to his place. She willingly agrees to come.
The Chinese man can't believe his luck, this chick is a straight 10/10. He takes her home to his apartment, and they get hot 'n heavy while stripping each others clothes off.
All of a sudden the girls face drops and she looks upset.
The Chinese man asks "What's wrong?" to which she responds, "I thought you said you were hung."
"No, I said my name is Hong."
So a son comes home to find his father watching television...
- Son: ''Hey dad, some chick just told me I looked hot!''
- Dad: ''Oh yeah? And what psychiatric institution was she from?''
- Son: ''Same one as mom, I guess!''
huehuehuehue
I met a h**...
That girl was on fire.
Today I was offered s**... by an 18 year old female...
Now I'm not gonna lie this chick was smoking hot. In exchange for the s**... I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner for her. Of course I, being the great person that I am, declined because I have high moral standards and my willpower is very strong.....but not as nearly as strong as Ajax, the safe and affordable bathroom cleaner, now available in lemon and vanilla scents
A physicist, a biologist, and a geologist walk into a bar.
The physicist immediately liquors up and attempts to pick up chicks with his top secret details about a new slightly-cooler-than-molten-hot fusion project he's working on.
The biologist attempts to pick up chicks with stories about him working with baby elephants in Thailand.
The geologist says "Ouch".
A black guy, a white guy, and a Mexican guy were eying a h**... from across a bar.
She notices them looking at her, so she walks up to them.She says, " I want a man that"s smart. Use the words LIVER and CHEESE in one sentence. "The black guy goes " I love to eat liver and cheese. "The white guy goes " I like to cook liver and cheese. "The Mexican guy goes up to the girl and tells the guys " Liver alone, cheese mine!!"
So, the God decides he needs a vacation...
He goes to meet his travel agent:
"We have a special on Andromeda, Cthulu resort." - Nah it's way too hot...
"How'bout skiing in Pillars Of Creation?" - Maybe something cheaper, this time?
"Well, You may try the Earth, Solar System new Spa, great price".
- ... Been there like 2000 years ago, mate, made one chick pregnant.
They still keep talking about this...
Ferdinand
Ferdinand went to work in France for 2 years.
When he returned, he told his wife:
-I'm sorry Mary, France is full of hot chicks and I couldn't resist. But at the last minute, when I remembered you, I immediately got off the top of them.
She answered:
-I also remembered you a lot sweetheart, but you have to understand that it's easier to get off the top than to get off the bottom.
Women think men would sleep with anything that walks, which isn't true-
We'd totally bang a h**... in a wheelchair.
This really h**... walks up to the bartender and says in a s**... seductive voice, "May I please speak to your manager?"
He says, "Not right now, is there anything I can help you with?" She replies, "I don't know if your the man to talk to...its kind of personal..." Thinking he might get lucky, he goes, "I'm pretty sure I can handle your problem, miss". She leans in and starts running her fingers through his beard and then slips 2 fingers in his mouth, "Can you give the manager something for me?" The bartender nods...yes. "Tell him there's no toilet paper in the ladies restroom."
A blind man walks into the bar
And the chair,the bar stool ,and the h**... that was on the dance floor.
My best friend invited me to join a t**...
I've never been one for Male, Male, female threesomes because it's basically gray s**... with a witness. However, my best friend who has been my best friend all my life, told me he had this smokin' h**... coming over who wanted another guy. Being my best friend I felt like I couldn't say no. I show up and we're going at it for well over 40 minutes. I look at my friend and say, "Dude, we've been going for a long time. I dont know how much longer I can go. When's the babe showing up?"
[Cr
You know the scene, balding dude in a convertible with a h**....
She peels off her top and says "Faster you go, the more i take off!"
She's down to her socks and he's doing 120 mph when they c**.... Dazed and confused she finds the driver pinned in the car and goes for help, but all she can find to cover her bits is his shoe.
Stumbling out into the highway she manages to pull someone over "Help, my friend is stuck!" She screams. The guy looks down at the shoe and says "Ma'am, he's too far in for me to help"