Hot Air Jokes
120 hot air jokes and hilarious hot air puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hot air that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Hot Air Short Jokes
Short hot air jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hot air humour may include short hot weather jokes also.
- After a long time, I told my hot coworker how I felt She felt the same way
So I turned on the air conditioner - 2023 is a bad year to be a hot air balloon pilot without a radio. credit to iBeej for this one!
- We should send all of Earth's politicians to colonize Mars. All that hot air would make it habitible quickly!
- It was so hot in Dallas today... I saw a crackhead put copper wire back into an air conditioner.
- What does a hot air balloon and a homeless person have in common No visible means of support
- My 8 year old son just told me this : What do you call a flying monkey ? A hot air baboon !
- Politicians are rushing to Venus. This after news that the local population absolutely *lives* for hot air.
- Did you hear about the charismatic politician who spews a lot of hot air when he talks about his ideas? You could say that he expresses himself with convection.
- When I heard of an air fryer that doesnt use any oil I thought there was no way it would actually fry foods But then I found out it was full of hot air.
- "How much longer are we going to have endure this erupting volcano full of hot air and gas" asked the Hawaiian "I don't know, but turn off Twitter for a short term solution"
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Hot Air One Liners
Which hot air one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hot air? I can suggest the ones about hot seat and hot blooded.
- My wife likes it when I blow air on her when she's hot, but honestly I'm not a fan.
- My wife asked me why hot air balloon rides are so expensive. I said "inflation".
- I tried to start a hot air balloon company but it never really took off.
- What kind of monkey can fly? A hot air baboon
- TIFU in a hot air balloon ... It was amazing.
- So I invested in a hot air balloon company... And it's really taken off
- What kind of monkeys fly? Hot air baboons
- Which monkey can fly? A hot air baboon!
- What do you call a flying monkey? A hot air baboon.
- My wife likes it when I blow air on her on hot days. But I'm not a fan.
- I have a job working with hot air balloons It has its highs and lows
- I used to talk alot about hot air baloons. But now my friends say I can't bring it up.
- Selling free air is hot right now! It's on the rise!
- i was dating a hot air balloonist at least she let me down gently
- My wife is still hot! It's high time I fixed the air conditioner.
Hot Air Balloon Jokes
Here is a list of funny hot air balloon jokes and even better hot air balloon puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A physicist insisted on his wife giving birth on a hot air balloon. When his son turned out to be a shame on the family, he told him: "You had so much potential!"
- I was going to invest in a hot air balloon..... but it's a bit up in the air at the moment
- Why'd the crazy guy jump out of the hot air balloon's basket? He wanted to escape from the ballooney bin.
- What do you call the basket on a hot air balloon? A balooney bin. Fuuuuuuck I hate myself.
- I had an idea for a hot air balloon underwear company. I couldn't get it off the ground.
- Mr. Banks began to fill his hot air balloon for a trip across London To his delight a few minutes later, he found that it'd gained a pound due to inflation
- A couple goes on a hot air balloon ride Guy: "Do you want to marry me?"
Her: "No"
5 hours of awkward silence - Why was the baker late to the hot air balloon ride? He got jammed up.
- Why can't you take anything balloons say seriously? They're always full of hot air!
- I have had it with passenger air balloons! They're always blowing hot air.
Hot Air Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about hot air you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hair dryer jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hot air pranks.
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost.
He reduces height and spots a man down below.
He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.
"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."
The man below replies, "You must work in management."
"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"
"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."
An engineer and a physicist are in a hot-air balloon.
After a few hours they lose track of where they are and descend to get directions.
They yell to a jogger, "Hey, can you tell us where we're at?"
After a few moments the jogger responds, "You're in a hot-air balloon."
The engineer says, "You must be a mathematician."
The jogger, shocked, responds, "yeah, how did you know I was a mathematician?"
"Because, it took you far too long to come up with your answer, it was 100% correct, and it was completely useless."
George and Harry out in a hot air balloon to cross the Atlantic Ocean.
After 37 hours in the air, George says "Harry, we better lose some altitude so we can see where we are".
Harry let's out some of the hot air in the balloon, and the balloon descends to below the cloud cover.
George says, "I still can't tell where we are, let's ask that guy on the ground".
So Harry yells down at the man "Hey, could you tell us where we are?"
The man on the ground yells back "You're in a balloon, 100 feet up in the air".
George turns to Harry and says "That man must be a lawyer".
And Harry says "How can you tell?".
George says "Because the advice he gave us is 100% accurate and totally useless".
That's the end of the Joke, but for you people who are still worried about George and Harry:
They end up in the drink, and make the front page of the New York Times: "Balloonists Soaked by Lawyer".
It was very hot, and this guy runs to a nearby store to buy a hand fan.
There were two similar fans in make and model but one was 25 cents and the other was 50 cents.
The guy opted for the cheaper one thinking that they work the same way.
Before he left the store, the owner tried to impress on the buyer on how each works, but the buyer was not interested - a fan is a fan is a fan, and he knows how to work it.
The 25 cent fan broke.
He came back yelling and screaming that the fan was no good.
The owner explained that he should have got the operating instructions:
"With the 50 cent fan, you move your wrist left and right to get the air flowing. With the 25 cent fan which works differently, you hold the fan steady in your wrist and move your head left to right to get the air flowing."
Student in a test
An engineering student was in o**... test. The professor asked him" what do usually ride when you go home ?"
The student answered " the bus"
Professor : cool, tell me what you would do if the weather is hot and the AC is broken
Student : easy, I would open the bus window
Professor : fantastic. Tell me the speed of the air that would come from outside if the bus speed is 60 miles per hour.
Student : dunno ... Professor gave him zero
Outside : the student told his friend about what happened in the test.
Later, the other student went to his o**... test with the same professor.
The professor asked him what do you usually ride when you go home ?
Student : my car
Professor: what if you car is broken
Student : my father's car
Professor : if it's broken
Student : my friend's car
Professor : if you don't have any way other than the bus , what would you ride ?
Student : the bus
Professor : if the AC is not working , what would you do ?
Student : I'm gonna take my jaket off
Professor : if it's still hot
Student : I'm gonna take my tank off
Professor : if it's still hot
Student : take my pants off
Professor : still hot
Student : I'm gonna do everything other than opening the window.
Hot-Air Balloon
A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, Excuse me, can you help? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour
ago, but I don't know where I am."
The woman below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."
"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.
"I am," replied the woman. "How did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of you, and the fact is I am still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help so far."
The woman below responded, "You must be in management."
"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault!"
Vive la France!
A Frenchman, an Englishman, a Mexican, and a Texan are in a hot air balloon out over the ocean. They run out of propane and the balloon starts to sink. It's obvious that they aren't going to make it to land. The Frenchman gets up and says, "Vive la France!" and gallantly throws himself over the side to save the rest. But the balloon keeps dropping. The Englishman gets up and says, "God save the Queen!" and throws himself over the side. Still the balloon keeps dropping. Finally the Texan gets up and says, "Remember the Alamo!" and throws the Mexican over the side.
You must be in management!
A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She reduced altitude and spotted a man below. She descended a bit more and shouted: "'Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am".
The man below replied "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude".
"You must be a technician." said the balloonist.
"I am" replied the man "how did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you have told me is probably technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information and the fact is, I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip with your talk."
The man below responded "You must be in management".
"I am" replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," said the man "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fuc#ing fault
Ramadhan starts tomorrow, here's a joke
There were two white christian men, Adam and Jack, whose plane crashed into a desert. Luckily they survived unharmed. As they traveled through the hot desert looking for food and water, they gave up and sat down, thinking of what to do.
As the dust in the air settled, they suddenly could view a mosque ahead. They became very hopeful. But then Adam said ''Muslims are there. They might help us if we say we are muslim.''
Then Jack said ''No way, I won't say I'm muslim, I'm gonna be honest''.
So Adam and Jack went to the Mosque ahead and were greeted by an Arab Muslim, who asked what their names were.
Adam thought of a Muslim name and said, 'My name is Muhammed'.
And Jack said 'My name is Jack'.
The Arab man said 'Hello Jack.' And told these other men to take Jack and give him food and drink.
Then he turned to Adam and said, 'Salaam Muhammed. Ramadan Mubarak! (Hello Muhammad, Happy Ramadhan)
I'm going on a date with a chemical engineer this week, what are some good chemisty/engineering jokes?
Best engineering joke I've heard:
A man is walking in a field when he notices a guy adrift in a hot air balloon with no fuel. Balloon guy shouts down "A little help here?"
The man on the ground looks up and shouts "You are in a hot air balloon with no fuel, you're about 20 feet off the ground, travelling north at roughly walking pace."
The guy in the balloon shouts "Are you an engineer?"
"Yes, how did you know?"
"Well, everything you told me is factually accurate but it doesn't do me any good."
The engineer on the ground considers this and then shouts back "Are you in management?"
"Yes, how did you know?"
"You were in this predicament before I got here, I haven't done anything, and now it's my fault."
You must be in tech support...
My aviation management professor told this to the class on the first day today:
One afternoon, a hot-air balloon pilot decides to relax and go for a ride. After a while he ends up getting lost, having no idea where he is. So he descends closer to the ground until he ends up flying by a guy outside his house.
The pilot yells down, "Hey! Where am I?!"
The guy on the ground yells back, "You're in a balloon, 50 feet above my house!"
Pilot: "You must be in tech support!"
Guy on ground: "Yeah, actually. How did you know?!"
Pilot: "Because everything you've told me is 100% true and 100% useless!"
Guy on the ground: "You must be in management!"
Pilot: "Yeah I am! How did you know?!"
Guy on the ground: "You don't have any idea where you are or where you're going. You're in the exact same position you were in before we met five seconds ago, but somehow it's my fault!"
man in a hot air balloon
A man flying in a hot air balloon realizes he's lost. He lowers the balloon, spots a man down below and shouts, "Can you help me? I promised a friend I'd meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man below says, "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon hovering 30 feet above this field, which is at 42 degrees N. latitude and 60 degrees W. longitude."
"You must be an engineer," says the balloonist.
"I am," replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct but your information is useless and the fact is I am still lost."
The man below says, "You must be a manager"
"I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," says the man below, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep and you expect me to solve your problem. And the fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met but now it's somehow my fault."
Three men are in a balloon...
an Australian, an American and a t**.... The balloon is being weighed down so the Australian says, "My country has to much Vegemite" and threw a jar of Vegemite over the side. The American says, "My country has to many Hot Dogs" and threw a Hot dog over the side. Still the hot air balloon is to heavy so the t**... says, "My country has to many bombs" and threw a bomb over the side. Later when the men are walking they came across a woman in tears, they stopped to ask what the matter was, "I was taking my cat to the Vet for a check up and a jar of Vegemite fell on its head and it died". After consoling her the three men went on. Not to long after they came across a homeless man looking very happy, they asked him what he was so happy about and he answered, "God answered my prayer, he dropped a Hot Dog into my hands". Later on the men were walking and they came across a man laughing his head off. The three men asked him "Whats so funny?" and he answered "I was watching TV, and i f**... so hard that my whole house blew up"
Variation of the hot air balloon joke
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment.
Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position and course to fly to the airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign, and held it in the helicopter's window. The pilot's sign said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters.
People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign and held it in a building window. Their sign read: "IN A HELICOPTER."
The pilot smiled, waved, looked at her map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked the pilot how did the sign help determine their position. The pilot responded "Well the response they gave me was technically correct, but completely useless, so I knew that had to be the Microsoft building."
Manager at work told me this one the other day. This is for all my fellow engineers!
A man is flying a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, "Excuse me. Can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man below says, "Yes, You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees N. Latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees W. longitude".
"You must be an engineer," says the balloonist.
"I am," replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost."
The man below says, "You must be a manager."
"I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," says the man below, "you don't know where you are, or where you are going, You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow my fault."
The Customer knows best
A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour.
Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry. So finally, another customer asked him why he didn't throw out the pest.
"Oh, I really don't mind," said the waiter with a smile. "We don't even have an air conditioner."
The thief was cracking the safe...
in a warehouse. Suddenly, a parrot in the rafters squawked "Hey! What'cha doin' down there?"
The thief waited a bit, but nothing else happened, so he went back to work on the safe. Occasionally, the parrot would repeat his question.
After 15 minutes or so, he feels hot air on his ear. He looks over to see a huge Rottweiler sitting next to him, panting. He waits a few minutes, but the dog does nothing. After working on the safe a while longer, he feels hot air on his other ear. Yep, there's a Rottweiler on that side, too, but the dog does nothing. All the while, the parrot says "Hey! What'cha doing down there?"
Feeling brave, the thief asks "Can't you say anything else?" to the parrot.
The parrot answers "Yeah! Sic 'em, boys!"
Seeing that Ramadan started this week, here's a joke.
There were two white christian men, Adam and Jack, whose plane crashed into a desert. Luckily they survived unharmed. As they traveled through the hot desert looking for food and water, they gave up and sat down, thinking of what to do.
As the dust in the air settled, they suddenly could view a mosque ahead. They became very hopeful. But then Adam said ''Muslims are there. They might help us if we say we are muslim.'' Then Jack said ''No way, I won't say I'm muslim, I'm gonna be honest''.
So Adam and Jack went to the Mosque ahead and were greeted by an Arab Muslim, who asked what their names were.
Adam thought of a Muslim name and said, 'My name is Muhammed'. And Jack said 'My name is Jack'.
The Arab man said 'Hello Jack.' And told these other men to take Jack and give him food and drink.
Then he turned to Adam and said, 'Salaam Muhammed. Ramadan Mubarak! (Hello Muhammad, Happy Ramadhan)
French Joke (translated)
A Frenchman, an American, and an Arab are on a hot air balloon.
The hot air ballon wouldn't lift-off as there was too much weight, so the three friends agree on throwing off anything that is plentiful in their respective countries. The rich American goes forth and throws away piles on piles of dollars, stating that "There are too many in my country".
The Arab goes next and throws off tons of gold, his gold watch, bars, etc. stating that "There is too much of it in my country!"
Next goes the Frenchman...
He pushes the Arab off stating that "There are too many sulking in the streets of my country!"
The hot air balloon then wafts through the air majestically.
Lost balloonist.
There's a colonel flying a hot air balloon and he's completely lost. He comes across a SgtMaj yelling at some people in a field and he's all like "Can you tell me where I am?"
the SgtMaj replies "You're about 20" off the deck in central Iowa."
The colonel quips "You must be a SgtMaj".
Slightly intrigued, the SgtMaj says, "Why yes I am, how'd you know?"
to which the colonel says "Because although everything you have said is technically correct, you haven't helped me at all".
The SgtMaj thinks for a moment then says "Oh, I understand now, you must be the new colonel".
"Why yes, I am. Was it my keen insight and projected leadership that gave it away?" asks the colonel.
"No" says the SgtMaj "You're just as lost now as you were 10 minutes ago, but now it's my fault."
Hot Air Baloon
A man is flying a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He lowers the balloon and shouts to a man he sees "Hey! I'm late for an appointment can you tell me where I am?!"
As he comes in closer the man below shouts back, "You're in hot air balloon about thirty feet off the ground!".
"You must be some kind of analyst!" says the balloonist.
"Why?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "what you said is technically correct but it's not any help at all!"
The man below says, "Oh, YOU must be some kind of manager!"
"How'd you know?!"
"Well you're lost and don't know what to do, you made a commitment you can't keep and while you're right where you were before we met now somehow it's my fault!"
My best friend's mom is SO hot...
... too bad they can't afford to fix their air conditioner.
My math teacher told me this one today
Two guys were flying over the Sahara Desert in a hot air balloon. They were completely lost, and had no way to find out where to go to get to civilization.
Suddenly, they see a man walking on the ground. Thinking they may be close to some kind of settlement, o**... calls down to the man:
"HEY! WHERE ARE WE?!"
The two in the balloon wait what seems like forever, until finally the man calls back:
"IN THE DESERT!" and the man was then lost from their sight.
"What an idiot," said one man.
"He's not an idiot," said the second man, "He's just a mathematician."
"A mathematician? How could you know that?"
"Three reasons. One, it takes forever for the answer. Second, he's 100% correct, and third, the information he provided was completely useless."
Ain't that the truth
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he's lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field." "You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist. "I do" replies the man. "How did you know?" "Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone." The man below replies, "You must work in management." "I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?" "Well", says the man, "you don't know where you are or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."
Difference between I.T and management
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he's lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, Excuse me, can you tell me where I am? The man below says: Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field. You must work in Information Technology, says the balloonist. I do replies the man. How did you know? Well, says the balloonist, everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone. The man below replies, You must work in management. I do, replies the balloonist, But how'd you know? Well , says the man, you don't know where you are or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault.
Classic joke for our Muslim friends today
There were two white christian men, John and Mike, whose plane crashed into a desert. Luckily they survived unharmed. As they traveled through the hot desert looking for food and water, they gave up and sat down, thinking of what to do.
As the dust in the air settled, they suddenly could view a mosque ahead. They became very hopeful. But then John said ''Muslims are there. They might help us if we say we are Muslim.'' Then Mike said ''No way, I won't say I'm Muslim, I'm gonna be honest''.
So John and Mike went to the Mosque ahead and were greeted by an Arab Muslim, who asked what their names were.
John thought of a Muslim name and said, 'My name is Muhammad'. And Mike said 'My name is Mike'.
The Arab man said 'Hello Mike.' And told these other men to take Mike and give him food and drink.
Then he turned to John and said, 'Salaam Muhammad. Ramadan Mubarak! (Hello Muhammad, Happy Ramadan)
A man is flying in a hot air balloon
3. A man is flying in a hot-air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man below. He lowers the balloon farther and shouts, "Excuse me! Can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says: "Yes, you're in a hot-air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must be an engineer," says the balloonist.
"I am," replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's no use to anyone."
The man below says, "You must be in management."
"I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," says the man, "you don't know where you are or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."
A man is flying in a hot air balloon...
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man below. He lowers the balloon farther and shouts, "Excuse me! Can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says: "Yes, you're in a hot-air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must be an engineer," says the balloonist.
"I am," replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's no use to anyone."
The man below says, "You must be in management."
"I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," says the man, "you don't know where you are or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."
A man from Egypt, a man from Paris and a man from Liverpool are all on a hot air balloon ride
The man from Egypt says "we're in Egypt! I can see the beautiful pyramids". A while later the man from Paris says "we're in Paris! I can see the Eiffel Tower from here". Next, the man from liverpool spoke. He said "we're in Liverpool! I can see someone stealing my car!".
A woman in hot air balloon realized she is lost...
She reduced altitude & shouted to a man below: Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend to meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am.
Man below replied: You are in hot air balloon 30 feet above the ground. You are at 41 degree North latitude & 59 degree West longitude.
Lady: Oh, You must be an engineer.
Man: Yes! How did you know?
Lady: Everything you told me is technically correct but useless & the fact is, I'm still lost.
Engineer: I see, then you must be in Upper Management.
Lady: Yes! How did you know?
Engineer: You don't know where you are or where you are going. You made a promise, which you have no idea how to keep & you expect people beneath you to solve your problems..!!
Why don't we fill hot air balloons with Hydrogen?
We don't know. No one has ever lived to tell us.
Hot Air Balloons are like m**......
The more you blaze it, the higher you become.
What did the visually-challenged gentleman say as he walked past the tuna stand at the open air market on a hot summer's day?
Hello ladies. Warm enough for you?
What do you call mustard that's not very hot?
Air condijoned.
I'll see myself out.
Three men are in a hot-air balloon
Three men are in a hot-air balloon. Soon, they find themselves lost in a canyon somewhere. One of the three men says, "I've got an idea. We can call for help in this canyon and the echo will carry our voices far."
So he leans over the basket and yells out, "Helllloooooo! Where are we?" (They hear the echo several times).
15 minutes later, they hear this echoing voice: "Helllloooooo! You're lost!!"
One of the men says, "That must have been a mathematician."
Puzzled, one of the other men asks, "Why do you say that?"
The reply: "For three reasons. (1) he took a long time to answer, (2) he was absolutely correct, and (3) his answer was absolutely useless."
Its been really hot in Seattle lately, so I converted my dishwasher into an air conditioner the other day.
How? I handed my wife a hand fan to keep me cool.
a lot of people seem to dislike hot air balloons
I don't see what all the hot air is about!
Electric hot air balloons
How?
Englishmen are like bagpipes
Aside from the obvious similarity between bags of hot air, the Scottish enjoy having either in a choke hold, but have a history of blowing both.
America is currently being attacked by a big destructive mass that blows hot air everywhere
And hurricane Matthew is happening, too.
I had to kick my fat, cynical friend off the hot air balloon...
He was really bringing me down.
What does Trump enjoy on hot day after golfing?
A so-called lemonade, a so-called air conditioner, and his so-hot daughter.
One day I'll be a star...
I'll produce a lot of hot air, my charisma will make other people blind and then I collapse into a black hole because of the pressure that's surrounding me.
Recently I went on a hot air ballooning holiday...
I put on four stone
Trump only pulled out of the Paris Climate Agreement because he was standing up for his own kind
After all, he is just a load of hot air
A teacher, a nurse, and an Army man were in a hot air balloon.
The balloon was too heavy so each of them dropped something off it. The teacher dropped an apple, the nurse dropped her medical bag, and the Army man drops a grenade. After they land, they go for a walk. They come across a little girl who's crying. They ask her what's wrong and she says an apple fell out of the sky and knocked out her new puppy. Later they come across a little boy who is also crying. They ask him what's wrong and he says a bag fell from the sky and knocked out his new kitten. Then they come across a little girl who's laughing really hard. They ask her what's so funny and she says "I f**... and the building behind me blew up!"
The other day a blimp told me he contained a perfect vacuum
I told him he was full of hot air
Fans and air conditioners
Get it while its hot!! Because they sell out fast!!
When is rapid inflation good?
When the hot air balloon you're in starts plummeting.
"You must be an engineer"
A man is flying solo in a hot air balloon and he discovers that he is lost. He lowers altitude until he can see a guy walking through a field.
He says to the guy, "Hey, where am I"?
The guy replies, "You are in a hot air balloon about 8 feet above farmer Jack's field."
The balloon guy says, "You must be an engineer. Because you correctly answered my question but it was completely unhelpful for my situation.
The guy on the ground says, "You are right I am an engineer. And you must be a manager. Because I gave you exactly the information that you asked for and yet somehow I am now to blame for your negligent situation."
I think I'd rather have a toaster as our president...
At least the toaster listens and does its job. Although, there is still a chance of hot air.
The incident at the Cemetery.
It was summer. Jake went on a stroll. Soon he arrived at a cemetery. There, he saw a woman, sitting on a grave.
He asked, "Sitting on someone's grave, alone in the cemetery, aren't you scared?".
Woman, " Scared? Of what? It gets hot inside, so I just got out for air."
Why does a hot air ballon of the national bank float?
Beacase of inflation!
Your wife is HOT
Ok, now go fix your air conditioning.
What do you call a r**... in a hot air balloon with a spasming epiglottis?
A hiccup
First post please be nice
And English man a Chinese man and an Australian man were in a hot air balloon and it started to got down, the English man said quick we need to get rid of stuff we don't need so he throws out a tea p**... and a mug, and says "we have to many of these in our country" the Chinese man throws out some chop sticks and noodles and says "we have to many of these in our country" then the Australian man picks up the Chinese man throws him out and promptly says "we have to many of these in our country"
A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant.
First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour. Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry.
So finally, a second customer asked him why he didn't throw out the pest."Oh, I really don't care or mind," said the waiter with a smile. "We don't even have an air conditioner."