Hostile Jokes
32 hostile jokes and hilarious hostile puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hostile that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Hostile Short Jokes
Short hostile jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hostile humour may include short aggressive jokes also.
- A wife walks in on her husband playing on his PlayStation. "The house is still filthy! I thought I asked you to sweep the house!" she says.
"I did" replied the husband, "I found no hostiles" - What does the soil have in common with a mailman? They both become hostile when you rearrange their letters.
- i am StationEd at North korea to check the status of their leaDer. everyone HerE is so hostiLe and Pleasant.
- What is the similarity between Christianity and T2? Both were very popular sequels, and whatever has followed has faced hostility from the followers
- I had an idea for a movie about the hostile takeover of South Korea by North Korea. But it was too Seoul crushing to finish.
- NASA's New Horizons probe has shown that Pluto is a remote, hostile, and barren planet... this means it's now the front-runner to be awarded the next Fifa World Cup.
- Text my friend just sent "Be on alert for a possible hostile in your area by the name of Hu Mongous."
- A close friend told me his wife had a hostile w**...... For some reason, he was upset when I asked if I could take up residency.
Share These Hostile Jokes With Friends
Hostile One Liners
Which hostile one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hostile? I can suggest the ones about unpleasant and enemy.
- In a surprise move, taco bell is acquiring Taco Bueno... It's a hostile tacover.
- What do you call a cougar that's hostile to you? An enemilf.
- My ex and I split up with no hostility... We had a non-diss closure agreement
- What did the hostile say when he was shot with a L.A.W "I fought the law and the law won"
- Why is fashion for prostitutes so unfriendly? Because it's h**...-stile.
- What do you call a hostile f**... often found in Asian food? A shiitaking mushroom
Hilarious Hostile Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends
What funny jokes about hostile you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean offensive jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hostile pranks.
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse:
You cannot post "Thou shalt not steal," "Thou shalt not commit adultery," and "Thou shalt not lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.
A reporter goes to the Middle East for an interview.
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "s**...?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, d**..., any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
Do you speak english?
- Yes
- Name?
- Abdul bal-Rhasib
- s**...?
- Three to five times a week.
- No, no... I mean male or female?
- Yes, male, female, sometimes camel.
- Holy cow!
- Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general.
- But isn't it hostile?
- Horse style, d**..., any style!
- Oh dear!
- No, no! Deer runs too fast.
Interviewing Arab for US visa
Interviewing an arab for a visa
Consul : What is your name?
Arab: Abdul Aziz
Consul: s**...?
Arab : Six to ten times a week
Consul: I mean, male or female?
Arab : Both male and female and sometimes even camels.
Consul: Holy cow!
Arab : Yes, cows and dogs too!!!!
Consul: Man,........isn't it hostile?
Arab : Horse style, d**..., any style
Consul: Oh..........dear!
Arab : Deer? No deer, they run too fast
An Arab national is interviewed at the Embassy for a visa:
Consul: Your name please?
Arab: Abu Zina.
Consul: s**...?
Arab: Every day.
Consul: Er, I mean, male or female?
Arab: Don't matter, sometimes even Camel.
Consul: Holy cow!
Arab: Yes, cows and donkey too.
Consul: Isn't that hostile?
Arab: Hosstyle, Dogstyle, any style!.
Consul: Oh dear!
Arab: No deer! run too fast.
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "s**...?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, d**..., any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
An arab at airport
An arab at airport:
\- Name?
\- Abdul Al Razhib.
\- s**...?
\- Three to five times a week.
\- No, no, I mean: male or female?
\- Yes... male, female, sometimes camel.
\- Holly cow!
\- Yes... cow, dog, even sheep.
\- But isn't that hostile?
\- Horse style, d**..., any style!
\- Oh, dear!
\- No, no... deer run to fast!
His wife minored in psychology in school.
She was always trying to use her tiresome amateur psychology on him. When he wanted to fire their pool boy, she said, "Well, you're clearly threatened by his youth and attractiveness, and this gives you intimations of your own mortality which you are sublimating into a hostile and inappropriate response."
He said, "Honey...we don't have a pool."
An Arabian guy at the airport
- name?
- ahmed al-rhazib.
- s**...?
- three to five times a week.
- no, no… i mean male or female?
- male, female, sometimes camel.
- holy cow!
- yes, cow, sheep, animals in general.
- but isn't that hostile?
- horse style, d**..., any style!
- oh dear!
- no, no! deer run too fast
Better formatted version Reporter and Man...
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "s**...?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
By tightly securing our Nuclear arsenal through human, digital, mechanical and chemical means, we've been able to almost completely eliminate the risk of nuclear warhead explosions due to accidents or hostile attacks, however if these past four years have taught us something ...
... it's that we also need to equip our nukes with child locks.
Do you speak English?
Do you speak English?
-Yes!
Name?
- Abdul al-Rhazib.
s**...?
- Three to five times a week.
No, no... I mean male or female?
- Yes, male, female, sometimes camel.
Holy cow!
- Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general.
But isn't that hostile?
- Horse style, d**..., any style!
Oh dear!
- No, no! Deer runs too fast...
Two Missionaries...
Two missionaries were ascending a hill in an expedition to convert the hostile unreached jungle inhabitants.
Since very few had ever returned alive from the unfriendly summit very little was known. The two agreed that the best way to win them over was with gifts from their food provisions.
They reached a pass where only one was able to ascend at a time. As the first man cleared the pass, he was immediately set upon by the natives. They took his large pack, pulled the large bunch of bananas out, and distributed them amongst themselves.
The natives began a strange ritual that involved shoving the bananas into their rectums and dancing about in a manner similar to the Māori Haka.
At first, the m**... was horrified by what he saw but he started to giggle and then broke into an hysterical cackle.
The dancings stopped and the leader said, "Why you laugh?"
The m**... said, "my friend is coming with pineapples!"
An Interview
An Arab was interviewed at the US Embassy for a Visa
Consul: What is your name?
Arab: Abdul Aziz
Consul: s**...?
Arab: Six to ten times a week
Consul: I mean, male or female?
Arab: Both male and female and sometimes even
camels
Consul: Holy cow!
Arab: Yes, cows too.
Consul: Man....isn't that hostile?
Arab: Oh horse style, d**..., any style
Consul: Oh dear!
Arab: Deer? No deer, they run away too fast!
Consul: Oh God!
Arab: Yeah, I know it's Good for the health
Two men were hiking in the Australian Outback.
Two men were hiking in the Australian Outback when an emu walked up to them.
One of the men was thrilled to see an emu so close up. The other man was more hesitant, for he read that emus can be very aggressive and hostile.
The man started to yell at the emu, "Go away, you big, fat, s**..., flightless bird! We don't want you here!"
The other man responded, "Dude, stop ostracizing it."
I wanted to be friends with...
Hoping to become friends, I started talking to a sea anemone. After a couple minutes of talking, I asked him about his family, and he became hostile.
It was a touchy topic.
*
An Arab being interviewed at the US Embassy...
CONSUL: "Your name, please?"
ARAB: "Abdul Aziz."
CONSUL: "s**...?"
ARAB: "SIX times a week."
CONSUL: "I mean, male or female?"
ARAB: "Both male & female & sometimes even camels."
CONSUL: "Holy cow!"
ARAB:"Yes, cows & dogs too."
CONSUL:"Man, isn't that hostile?"
ARAB:"Horse style, d**...,any style!"
CONSUL:"Oh dear!"
ARAB:"Deer?No deer, they run too fast!!..."
