Hospital Patient Jokes
103 hospital patient jokes and hilarious hospital patient puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hospital patient that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Hospital Patient Short Jokes
Short hospital patient jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hospital patient humour may include short hospital bed jokes also.
- At a mental hospital, one patient keeps yelling "I am a messenger of God! I am a messenger of God!" "I didn't send anybody" says someone in the adjacent room.
- Two ladies meet up for coffee... The first lady asks if she came on the bus. The other replies, "Yes, but I made it look like an asthma attack."
(I work in a hospital, a patient told me this.) - Hospital patient lying in bed: "Doctor, I can't feel my legs!" Doctor: "Yes, I'm sorry. We had to amputate your arms."
[A brief sketch from an ancient episode of 'Not The Nine O'Clock News'] - There was a doctor and a patient in a hospital. Doctor: relax David, it's just a small surgery. Don't panic.
Patient: But Doctor, my name is not David.
Doctor: I know... that's my name. - I heard laughter is the best medicine I heard laughter is the best medicine, so I went to the local hospital, found some cancer patients, and laughed at them.
- A famous singer sang for patients in a hospital. He finished with a cheerful greeting:
-Bye-bye , and hope you get better!
-Thanks, you too! replied the patients. - I heard patients were not sleeping well at the hospital So I unplugged all the loud annoying beeping things in their rooms. They sleep much better now
- A girl I know who works in the X-ray department of a local hospital is dating one of her patients Nobody know what she sees in him
- What's the difference between an angry mother and a bad hospital? One is losing their patience. The other is losing their patients
- Hospital When checking a patient in for surgery, he said he was a mechanic. I said, "Good, the surgeon likes that because you understand when there are parts left over."
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Hospital Patient One Liners
Which hospital patient one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hospital patient? I can suggest the ones about hospital stay and hospital discharge.
- I got kicked out of the hospital because I told the Covid patients to stay positive
- Where are doctors most observant of their patients in the hospital? In the ICU.
- I always park in handicapped spaces at the hospital Just to test their patients
- What part of a hospital does an abortion patient avoid? The right wing
- Waiting in hospital's waiting room makes You patient.
- What's the key to running a successful hospital? Patients
- Notice in a hospital waiting room. "Thanks for being Patient.'
- What do you call a Buddhist hospital? Patient, centered.
- I brought a quiz to my local hospital To test the doctors' patients.
- Brian, a patient at the hospital, got tested for hepatitis... He was appositive.
Hilarious Fun Hospital Patient Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter
What funny jokes about hospital patient you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cancer patient jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hospital patient pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a s**... attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the hospital director reviewed the rescuer's file and called him into his office and said, "Kevin, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you're ready to go home. I'm sorry to tell you that the man you saved later hung himself." "He didn't hang himself," Kevin replied, "I hung him up to dry."
A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers an important meeting.
Unfortunately, his watch has stopped, and he cannot tell if he is late or not.
Then, he notices a patient similarly strolling about within the hospital fence.
Calling out to the patient, the man says, "Pardon me, sir, but do you have the time?"
The patient calls back, "One moment!" and throws himself upon the ground, pulling out a short stick as he does.
He pushes the stick into the ground, and, pulling out a carpenter's level, assures himself that the stick is vertical.
With a compass, the patient locates north and with a steel ruler, measures the precise length of the shadow cast by the stick.
Withdrawing a slide rule from his pocket, the patient calculates rapidly, then swiftly packs up all his tools and turns back to the pedestrian, saying, "It is now precisely 3:29 pm, provided today is August 16th, which I believe it is."
The man can't help but be impressed by this demonstration, and sets his watch accordingly.
Before he leaves, he says to the patient, "That was really quite remarkable, but tell me, what do you do on a cloudy day, or at night, when the stick casts no shadow?"
The patient holds up his wrist and says, "I suppose I'd just look at my watch."
A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital.
The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands.
"Doctor," says the man excitedly and dramatically holds up his heavily bandaged hands. "Will I be able to play the piano when these bandages come off?"
"I don’t see why not," replies the doctor.
"That’s funny," says the man. "I wasn’t able to play it before."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Firefighters in London were called to assist hospital staff when a man's g**... became trapped in a spanner. A hospital spokesman said the patient took a turn for the worse.
Chinese doctor opens his new clinic.
A Chinese Doctor can't find a job in a Hospital in the US, so he opens his own clinic and puts a sign outside 'GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100.'
An American lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic.
Lawyer: "I have lost my sense of taste."
Chinese: "Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 22 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth."
Lawyer: "Ugh. this is kerosene."
Chinese: "Congrats, your sense of taste is restored. Give me $20."
The annoyed lawyer goes back after a few days to recover his money.
Lawyer: "I have lost my memory. I cannot remember anything."
Chinese: "Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in his mouth."
Lawyer (annoyed): "This is kerosene. You gave this to me last time for restoring my taste."
Chinese: "Congrats. You got your memory back. Give me $20."
The fuming lawyer pays him, and then comes back a week later determined to get back $100.
Lawyer: "My eyesight has become very weak I can't see at all."
Chinese: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that, so take this $100."
Lawyer (staring at the note): "But this is $20, not $100!!"
Chinese: "Congrats, your eyesight is restored. Give me $20"
Mental Hospital
Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out. When the hospital director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered that Edna be discharged from the hospital because she now considered Edna to be mentally stable.
The director went to Edna and said, "I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you're being discharged because you responded so rationally to a crisis by jumping in the pool to save the life of another patient. Your action displays sound mindedness. The bad news is that Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead."
Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself. I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A young nurse is hired at a Glasgow hospital.
Towards the end of the shift, he is assigned to a ward with a number people with no obvious signs of injury or disease. He goes to greet the first patient. "Hello, sir, how are you today? Is there anything I can do for you?" The patient replies,
"Aboon them a' ye tak your place, Painch, tripe, or thairm; Weel are ye wordy o' a grace as lang's my arm."
The nurse is confused but smiles, checks the man's bedpans and greets the next patient. "Hello ma'am, how are you doing today?" The patient beams and replies:
"Some hae meat, and canna eat, and some w**... eat that want it, but we hae meat and can eat, and sae the Lord be thankit."
The nurse is further confused. He fluffs her pillows and moves on to the third patient, who is grimacing with pain. "What seems to be the matter, sir?" The third starts rattling off as follows:
"Wee sleekit, cow'rin, tim'rous beastie, O, what a panic's in thy breastie! Thou need na start awa sae hasty, wi bickering brattle! I w**... be laith to rin an chase thee, wi murdering pattle!"
The nurse is totally baffled. When he is done with his patients he steps outside and sees a doctor outside the entrance. "Doctor, what sort of ward is this? A mental ward? "No," replies the doctor, "It's the Burns unit."
A nurse in a mental hospital receives a call
A man says: "Miss, could you check if the patient in room 14 is still there?"
Nurse: "A moment please"
After a while,
Nurse: "No!! He's gone!!"
The man: "Good, looks like I really escaped this time...."
Pete and Jenny were long time patients at the mental institution...
...and they had formed a relationship.
They were walking past the pond, Pete fell in and sank, Jenny, with no thought for her own safety, dived to the bottom of the pool and rescued him, she also gave him the kiss of life.
A few days later Jenny was summomed before the board of the hospital and was told that seeing how she had the sense to dive in to rescue Pete she could not be classed as insane, she was going home the day after.
When the nurse was helping her pack, she gave Jenny the bad news..........After you had rescued Pete, he was foubd in the hospital ward, dead, hanging from a beam !
Jenny replied, "yes, I hung him up to dry,can I go home now ?
Observation
There was a man in a mental hospital. All day he would put his ear to the wall and listen. The doctor would watch the guy do this day after day for months.
Finally the doctor decided to see what this man was listening to, so one day he approached the wall and put his own ear up to the wall and listened. He heard nothing.
He turned the mental patient and said, "I don't hear anything!"
The mental patient replied, "Yeah, I know. It's been like that for months!"
Dying Wish
A man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. He asked "Give it to me straight, doc. How long have I got?" The physician replied that he doubted that his patient would survive the night. The man then said "Call for my lawyer."
When his lawyer arrived, the man asked for his physician to stand on one side of the bed, while the lawyer stood on the other. The man then laid back and closed his eyes.
When the man remained silent for several minutes, the lawyer asked the man what he had in mind. The man replied "Jesus died with a thief on either side, and I thought I'd check out the same way."
Dr joke I just made up
A young medical intern was standing in a hospital hallway, looking flustered whilst try to examine a patients' CAT scan. Seeing his confusion, an older doctor came to see what the problem was. He saw that the intern was reading the scan upside down, and turned it around for him. Seeing that the young intern was embarrassed by his mistake, the doctor said, "don't feel embarrassed, lad, there's more than one way to skim a CAT."
In a Mental Hospital a journalist asked the Doctor
How do u determine whether to admit a patient or not?
Dr: Well, we first fill a BathTub & give a teaspoon, a glass & a bucket to the patient & ask them to empty the Bathtub....
Journalist: Oh, obviously a normal person would use the bucket because its bigger....
Dr: NO, a normal person would pull the drain plug!
Now if you would be so kind as to proceed to bed no.39
Jim and Mary.
Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom and stayed there. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.
When the medical director became aware of Mary's heroic act he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital as he now considered her to be mentally stable. When he went to tell Mary the news he said, "Mary, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged because since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you've regained your senses. The bad news is Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he's dead."
Mary replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry."
The Entertainment
A charitable man decided to visit a sick ward at a hospital to cheer up the patients. He took along a keyboard and played humorous songs and told jokes at many a bedside. After finishing his final performance for an old man he said, "I hope you get better." The old man smiled vaguely at the performer and replied, "I hope you do too."
How I learned to miknd my own business:
I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were yelling "13...13...13..."
The fence was too high for me to see over but I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see what was going on.
Someone poked me in the eye with a stick and then they all started shouting "14... 14... 14..."!
A long day at the hospital
After a long day working at the hospital 3 doctors are walking home:
- "After seeing so many patients, it's really nice to see normal, healthy people" says the first doctor, a GP
- "Not only that, they are actually alive" answers the coroner
- "Who cares about all that! Just look at all those faces! Lovely, lovely human faces!" shouts the proctologist
Best Joke
What is the best joke you've been told?
I often have patients at the hospital who ask me to tell them a joke to lighten the situation, let's here the best ones!
During a visit to the mental hospital....
..a visitor asks the Director what criterion defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger."
"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mental patients
Two mental patients escaped from the mental hospital but had to cross a river to continue there journey. One patient said to the other: I have a Flashlight as he pointed it across the river and said: you run across the beam of light! the other patient said: Do you think I am s**......I will get half way across and you will turn the flashlight off.
A woman on the way to her new job
A woman is in her car on the way to her new job at a mental hospital, when the car begins juddering, and she is forced to pull over. She is looking at the engine when a man comes up behind her and says "it's your fan belt, love", before he leans in, and has the car fixed withing seconds. "My god! Thank you so much, do you need a lift anywhere, I must repay you somehow." The man declines, and states that he is a patient at the hospital, and has been let out for a short walk. "I'm a new staff member there, I'm going to pull some strings and get you out, you are in a sound state of mind and you shouldn't be in there" says the woman. The man enthusiastically thanks her for her kindness as she gets back into the car. She is just pulling away when a house brick hurtles through the rear window and smashes her across the face and setting off the airbag. In her stunned state she hears through the shattered glass: "Simon Wright is the name, you won't forget now will you!?".
A journalist visits a mental hospital
A journalist visits a mental hospital for reporting and asks the doctor, how do you determine if a patient is mentally ill.
DOCTOR: Well, we first fill a bathtub with water till the top. We then give a teaspoon, a glass cup and a bucket to the patient and ask him/her to empty the bathtub.
JOURNALIST: Obviously a normal person would use the BUCKET because it's bigger.
DOCTOR: No, you're silly! A normal person would pull the DRAIN PLUG! Nurse, admit this in Ward 7!!!
i asked "where"
I work in a hospital. I once asked a confused patient if she had pain. She said yes. I said "Where?" She said, "San Diego."
What do you call a midget in a hospital waiting room constantly complaining about how long he's been waiting?
Imp-Patient!
Whats the difference between the psychiatrists and the patients at a mental hospital?
The patients are the ones who eventually get better and get to go home.
What's the hardest part about working as a nurse or doctor at a women's hospital?
When you ask the patients "what's the problem?" They'll say "nothing"
So a pregnant patient came in to the hospital after a 'huge gush of fluid'...
So I asked if el niño or la niña was coming.
Request for a months worth of jokes for a cancer patient.
A friend of mine will be in the hospital for a month because of her cancer treatments. We are telling her jokes to cheer her up and were hoping you could help, Thanks.
A woman called up St. John's hospital and asked "I want to know if the patient Sarah James in Room No 1438 is getting better"
The nurse replied, "She is doing very well. She had her first solid meal today, her blood pressure is fine and if she continues improving she might even be sent home in a couple of days."
The woman said, "Thank God! That's wonderful news!"
Nurse: I take it you must be a family member or a close friend!
Woman: No I am Sarah James. No one tells me anything here.
A new hospital opens for the first time, and the doctor is getting antsy...
"What are we waiting for?" the doctor asks.
"Patients, Doctor," replied the nurse. "Patients."
What animal do psychiatrists bring in to mental hospitals to help patients with social anxiety?
Squirrels; they're the best at getting nuts out of their shells.
A doctor was checking up on his Patient at the psychiatric hospital
Doctor: How are you feeling?
Patient: I keep fantasizing about baboons playing soccer.
Doctor: Ok, I will give you medicine today, you'll stop fantasizing...
Patient: Give me the medicine tomorrow, today it's the finals!
A man is rushed into the hospital after an accident.
Doctor, Doctor! I've broken my arm in several places."
The Doctor examines the patient's arm, and after a few moments of staring with intensity, he looked at the patient.
Doctor: lol, well don't go to those places.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I lost my job at the hospital today for s**... assault....
It's not my fault that they put up a sign that said, 'stroke patients downstairs'.
A man visits a mental hospital.
He sees a patient with torn clothes & unkempt hair shouting "Julie !! Julie !!"
He asks the assistant about the reason for the patient's behavior. Asst says the patient used to love a girl called Julie but couldn't marry her. So he became mad.
The man visits the next ward. There also he sees another patient with torn clothes & unkempt hair shouting
"Julie !! Julie !!"
The man looks at the assistant.
The assistant says "This one married Julie"
So what happened to the doctor?
Good news, he made it to his hospital.
Bad news, he was the patient.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I got banned from the hospital this morning
Apparently "s**... Patients Here:" Is not what your supposed to do!
A man was in a psych ward for thinking he was a piece of corn.
He was finally cured and set free, but immediatelly came back to the mental hospital trembling in fear. When asked why, he said, "there's a chicken outside."
Doctor: "but sir, you do know you're human right? Not a piece of corn."
Patient: "of course I know that! But does the chicken know?!"
I took an hour long break when working at the hospital.
Luckily enough, my patron was very patient
Doctor's Discussion
Two surgeons are conferring in the hospital corridor outside a patient's room...
"We found a large lump in his wallet but I think we got it all."
A hospital patient became violent when told he needed to have all his toes amputated.
It turns out he was lack-toes intolerant.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I got kicked out of the hospital.
Apparently, the sign "s**... patients here" meant something totally different.
Mental hospital...
A man is brought into a mental hospital late one night, who claims to be Napoleon Bonaparte. Turns out, there is another patient there who also believes he is Napoleon, but is also flamboyantly gay. The director thinks it will be interesting to House them together overnight and see what happens.
In the morning, the director approached the gay Napoleon:
Who are you, Sir?
(Heavy French accent) How do you not know that I am the great, Napoleon Bonaparte?!?
OK.
He then asks the new patient- And who are you?
Sacre' bleu! You do not recognize Josephine, zee queen?!?
Why was the hospital patient feeling so self-conscious?
She overheard the doctors keep saying ICU.
A guy was lying down on a hospital bed, waiting for his doctor to arrive
After 4 hours, the doctor arrived, all sweaty and tired.
"Sorry I'm late." The doctor said, "I had to attend my son's baseball game."
The guy replied, "It's okay doc, I'm patient."
A psychiatrist starts working in a hospital
He is checking on the patients when he comes across a man locked in a private room and hitting himself with a shoe
"What's his case?" The psychiatrist asks
"He was in love with a girl for 10 years and then she married somone else" the nurse answers
They then walk up to another private room with a man hitting himself with 2 shoes
"What's his case?" The psychiatrist asks
"This is the man who married her"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I got arrested at a hospital yesterday.
Apparently, the s**... patient sign is not a request one.
I bought a clock that was made by the patients at a psychiatric hospital
It's the beautiful cuckoo clock I've ever seen.
A hospital director catches up with a patient running bare foot from the building
Why did escape from the operating room? said the director
Because the nurse was saying: " it's ok be brave, it's just appendicitis it's a simple operation..."
So what? she was just trying to reassure you...
She was talking to the surgeon!
How did the terminal cancer patient get a clean bill of health?
He left his hospital bill in his laundry by mistake.
Two kids are hurrying to school on their bikes to get there for their maths exam.
They get into a car accident on the way and have to be rushed to hospital.
In hospital they're surrounded by friends and family, and their maths teacher keeps trying to get into the room and is repeatedly told off by the doctors.
Later that night the teacher sneaks in. Waking the kids up, he says
"finally, here's the exam papers that you both need to complete."
Suddenly the light comes on and an angry doctor says "I have told you so many times you are not allowed in here, what do you think you are doing?"
The maths teacher points to the exams - "just testing your patients."
I told a joke about hemorrhoids in a hospital the other day.
It didn't sit well with some of the patients.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was walking around the hospital...
I was walking around the hospital yesterday looking to visit my Nan. When I got to the correct area in the hospital I saw a sign saying s**... Patients Here .
I never did get to visit my Nan, thanks to hospital security.
In a hospital room
Doctor: *Im sorry sir, but the virus will continue to spread throughout your body. There's nothing we can do. *
Patient: *but what about the treatment you injected into me?
Doctor: *Turns out, that was the wrong medicine. It was all done in vein.*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mental hospital
A nurse at a mental hospital checks in a room to find patient Bob pretending to drive a car.
- Bob, what are you doing?
Asked the nurse curiously.
- I'm on a road trip to Canada.
Bob replied.
The nurse wishes him a pleasant journey and proceeds to patient Gary's cell to find him m**....
- Heavens, Gary! What are you doing?!
Asked the nurse.
- I am having s**... with Bob's wife while he's in Canada.
Gary replied.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between an o**... and a r**... thermometer?
The taste.
(My dad loves this joke. He loves jokes that are slightly dirty and involve doctors, nurses, nuns or priests. Anyone got any more?)
Bonus joke:
A doctor is doing his rounds at the hospital, going from patient to patient. He turns to a nurse and asks, "Sister, have you got a pen?"
The nurse reaches into her pocket and pulls out a thermometer. "Oh no," she says, "some a**...'s got my pen."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were shouting, "13... 13... 13..."
The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see what was going on.
Some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick, then they all started shouting, "14.... 14... 14..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I just got fired on the first day of my job as a nurse at the hospital
Apparently the sign "s**... PATIENTS" doesn't mean what I thought it meant
A famous Hindi joke! Let's see if the translation works!
Once, Mahatma Gandhi was on a visit to the Mental Hospital. He bumped in a patient who had recovered by then
Gandhiji asked him, "So, how are you now?"
"I feel better. Tell me what's your name?"
"Mohandas Gandhi."
"I, too, was saying this before getting admitted to the hospital!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Nicola Sturgeon is being shown around an Edinburgh hospital when one of the patients sits up in bed and exclaims:
"Fair fa' your honest sonsie face, great chieftain o' the pudden race!"
Before Nicola can respond, another patient responds: "Wee, sleekit, cowerin', timorous beastie! O what a panic's in thy breastie!"
while a third one chimes in with "Some hae meat and cannae eat, and some w**... eat that want it!"
She turns a puzzled face upon her doctor e**... and says "Is this the psychiatric ward, then?"
And he replies, "Och, no...
"It's the Burns Unit!"
Two patients were sitting in a mental hospital cafetaria
Suddenly on the table over, a man, sitting all alone, started laughing hysterically.
First patient asked, "What do you make of that?"
"What, Jimmy two-face over there? That guy has split personality disorder", said the second patient.
"So what?" said the first patient.
"So, one of them must have told a great joke."
I was at a hospital, talking to some patients.
I tried to lighten the mood with a coronavirus joke. Barely anyone reacted at first, but eventually everyone got it. However, the Chinese guy got it right off the bat. Some people have called my joke tasteless, however. It really killed the mood. But I bet the British variation of this joke will spread much quicker!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Guy goes into the hospital with a bad case of gangrene on his foot ...
... doctor says we're going to need to amputate this foot immediately before it spreads .
He goes through surgery and as he wakes up from his slumber the doctor says well sir, I have some good news and bad news, what do you want first?
I'll take the bad news first
Okay, well unfortunately we amputated the wrong foot so we had to amputate both feet due to the mistake and gangrene .
And what the h**... is the good news?!
The patient beside you wants to buy your slippers .
After attempting to climb Everest and failing, John has severe frostbite, hypothermia and goes into a coma.
After a lengthy and dangerous mountaintop rescue he's rushed to the nearest hospital, where after several days he finally wakes and is greeted by the Nepalese doctor.
Sir, I have bad news and good news. John, ever the optimist asks for the good news first.
Okay, the good news is the patient in the next bed has offered you a very generous amount for your slippers...
A man walks into a hospital ward and starts inspecting all of the bed charts.
A doctor notices this and says, "Excuse me sir, but what are you doing?"
The man ignores the doctor and continues, now taking everyone's blood pressure.
"Sir, I'll ask you again", says the doctor, "why are you here and what are you doing?"
Ignoring the doctor again, the man then begins to take everyone's blood and starts processing it through the hospital's examination equipment.
"Right!" Shouts the doctor. "Now you're testing my patients!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How I learned to mind my own business
I was walking past a mental hospital the other day.
And the patients were shouting 13, 13, 13.. the fence was too high high to see over. But there was a small gap in the planks, so I looked through to see what's going on….
…
Some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick
And the next thing I hear from over the fence is all the patients chanting 14……14…..14….
