Horseback Jokes
26 horseback jokes and hilarious horseback puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about horseback that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
If you're looking for a few laughs about horseback riding, you've come to the right place! This article has a selection of jokes about horsey, reins, and even helicopters, to bring a smile to the faces of horseback riders and non-horse riders alike.
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Funniest Horseback Short Jokes
Short horseback jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The horseback humour may include short horse riding jokes also.
- What's the difference between looking for a lost golf ball and Nancy Grace going horseback riding? One's a hunt on a course...
Cr - A farmer goes to a horseback race... Host: Welcome to the race, we only accept Thoroughbreds, Quarters, Arabians, and Paints. Entry fee is $5.
Farmer: Can I get in with a buck? - Oh, Ed! They should come up with something like Uber, but with horseback riding… Maybe call it Wilbur?
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Horseback One Liners
Which horseback one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with horseback? I can suggest the ones about horse mounted and horse jumping.
- How do you stop the Polish army on horseback? You turn off the carousel.
- I went horseback riding and nearly died It was a night mare
- What do you call Vladimir Putin after a horseback ride on a sunny day? Russian dressing
- What savoury tart conquers South America on horseback? The con-quiche-tador
- What is an army of blue babies on horseback called? A navy infantry cavalry
- What do you call a Mackem thief who travels around on horseback? A Ha'wayman.
Uproarious Horseback Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
What funny jokes about horseback you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean horse carriage jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make horseback pranks.
Two young boys go to a store
They have $6 between them and want a cool toy. After shopping around they come up to the register with a box of tampons. The clerk asks "Why?" One little boy replies "It says on the box you can go swimming, horse-back riding, play tennis, and other activities!! We just need to figure out how they work."
During the crusades a man entrusts his friend with the key to his daughter's chastity belt when he is away...
The man entrusted with the key replies with 'Ah yes sir you can count on me'
The father rides onwards and 30 minutes on into his journey his friend speeds to his company on horseback, and shouts at him 'Sir! You left the wrong key!'
Recreational tampons...
Three convicts were on the way to prison. They were each allowed to take one item with them to help them occupy their time while in the joint. On the bus, one turned to another and said, "So, what did you bring?" The second convict pulled out a box of paints and said that was going to paint anything he could. Then he asked the first, "What did you bring?" The first convict pulled out a deck of cards and said, "I brought cards. I can play poker, solitaire..." The third convict was sitting quietly aside when the other two took notice of him and asked, "What did you bring?" The guy pulled out a box of tampons, smiled. and said, "I brought these." The other two were puzzled and asked, "Why did you bring those things?" He grinned and pointed to the box and said;
"Well according to the box, I can go horseback riding, swimming, roller-skating...."
A man decided to march in the holy crusades...
Concluding that his wife should wear a chastity belt while he is gone, he locks up her nether regions and gives the key to his best friend. He tells him, If I do not return within four years, unlock my wife and set her free to live a normal life.
So, the husband leaves on horseback and about a half hour later, he sees a cloud of dust behind him. He waits for it to come closer and sees his best friend. What's wrong?' he asks.
You gave me the wrong key!
Horseback riding gone wrong
Last weekend my daughters and I were going to the grocery store but on the way I spotted a chance to go horseback riding and couldn't pass it up. So I got on the horse and immediately it started trying to buck me off. I'm desperately yelling for help and flailing around but all the people passing by just looked at me funny while even my kids just looked away. I'm scared and I'm hitting the ground and just when I was thinking that I might die this gentleman wearing a Walmart vest stopped pushing carts, unplugged the horse, and saved my life
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Four executioners on horseback tell a very skeptical man that he will be drawn and quartered...
the man replies to one of them "are you pulling my leg?"
A blonde decides to try horseback rising. On her first outing, the bouncing horse causes her to lose control. As she's thrown from the horse, her foot catches in the stirrup, so she lands head first. Just as she loses consciousness, the carnie stops the carousel.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
New inmates are lined up to go into prison
Guard in front yells "Everyone have your personal effects out for inspection! You ate allowed ONLY ONE item!"
Towards the back of the line a new inmate asks the guy in front of him, "Hey buddy....what you bringing in?"
The reply was "pastels and chalk. Gonna teach myself how to draw. You?"
Inmate 1 says "a harmonica. May as well learn to play it while I got the time".
The man behind them says "Man y'all are dumb. Look what *I* got. He shows them his new unopened box of tampons.
They ask "Why the actual h**... are you bringing tampons into prison?"
He says "Look right here! The box says with these I can go horseback riding, go swimming, play tennis..."
The Lone Ranger and Tonto were on horseback across the prairies...
Every now and then Tonto would dismount his horse and put his ear to the group to check for while life or followers.
Each and every time the Lone Ranger was amazed by Tonto's talent. He never questioned his predictions. When he said cowboys were up ahead, there were. When he said wild life was near by, sure enough there was. Enough for pelts, food whatever...
Finally curiosity got the better of the Lone Ranger. When Tonto got off his horse but his ear to the ground and pronounced 'Buffalo come!' He had to ask how Tonto knew this...
Tonto simply replied 'Ear stuck to ground!'
Two friends go to Vegas
But lost their wallets, between them they now only have $8.00.
The first friend says give me the money, I have a great idea
He goes into Walgreens and comes out with a bag
Second friend grabs it and looks inside and sees a box of tampons. He says that's great, you waste our last $8.00 on a box of tampons? What are we going to do now?
First friend says you got it all wrong! We're going to have a great time, look says right here on the box, we can go skydiving, horseback riding, skiing,rock climbing, we can do anything with these things!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three boys were sitting around, talking about stuff they wanted.
The first boy said, "man, I really want a gaming system. I would love to be able to sit around and play video games all the time."
The second boy said, "That would be great, but I want a new bike. I could get to anywhere in town if I had a new bike."
The third boy said, "I really want some tampons."
The other two boys looked at each other, shrugged and asked the third boy, "what's a t**...?"
The third boy said, "I don't know, but I saw a commercial for them the other day, and it said if you have tampons you can go swimming, go horseback riding...."
3 boys find a 5 dollar bill on the sidewalk
3 boys find a 5 dollar bill on the sidewalk and try to decide how to spend it.
The first boy says "we should go buy a comic book". The other 2 decide against it, realizing that once they've read it, they'll have nothing left.
The second boy says "we should go buy candy". The other 2 decide against it, realizing that much candy will give them upset stomachs.
The 3rd boy says "I know! We can buy a box of tampons! According to the commercials, with it we can go horseback riding, swimming, biking, jogging..."
