Horse Rider Jokes
10 horse rider jokes and hilarious horse rider puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about horse rider that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Entertaining Horse Rider Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone
What is a good horse rider joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
A King had to go on a war but he was worried that his wife might cheat and leave him
He locked her in her room and gave the keys to his minister and ordered him that if I don't come back in 10 days then she is yours. Then the king left. After 20 mins as he was riding on his fast horse he heard someone coming from behind. He stopped for the man and once the other horse rider came close the king saw that he was his minister. The minister came towards the king.
The king said, "didn't I give you a job to do?"
The minister said, " your highness about that.... the keys you gave me are wrong"
Did you know that the number of legs in the air of a horse statue indicate how its rider died?
If there are no legs in the air, the rider survived the war.
If there is one leg in the air, the rider was mortally wounded and died after a battle.
If there are two legs in the air, the rider was killed in battle.
If there are three legs in the air, the rider died in a tragic circus accident.
If there are four legs in the air, the rider was abducted by aliens and died in space.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man is riding through the desert on his horse...…..
.….The rider is like "Man! I'm so hungry I could eat a horse!" Then suddenly the horse goes "Meow!" and starts l**... himself.
Why was Teddy Roosevelt mean to horses?
He was a rough rider!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde tries to go horseback riding ....
.....
even though she has had no lessons or prior experience.
She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into action. It gallops along at a steady rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to lose her grip and starts to slide in the saddle.
In t**..., she grabs for the mane but can't seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horses neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to it's slipping rider.
Unfortunately, the Blonde's foot has become entangled in the stirrup. She is now at the mercy of the hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over again.
As her head is battered against the ground she is moments away from losing consciousness when, to her great fortune, the Walmart's Manager sees her and unplugs the horse.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde decides to try horseback riding
A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no
lessons or prior experiences. She mounts the horse unassisted & the horse
immediately springs into motion.
It gallops along at a steady & rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In t**..., she grabs for the horses's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup & she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again & again.
The blonde's head is continually battered against the ground, she is mere
moments away from unconsciousness when........
The Walmart manager runs out and shuts the horse off.
After the Texan wedding ...
... the newlywed cowboy rides home with his bride. It's a long way back to his ranch, and the horse has to carry both him and his bride, so it stumbles, nearly throwing off the two riders. The cowboy calmly straightens up the reins, waits for the horse to gather and says nothing, except, very calmly:
"One."
Further down the way, a small pile of dirt let the horse stumble again, and again without being fazed in any way, the cowboy lets the horse get up without a word, except a calm:
"Two."
As the sun goes down over the prairie, they are near the ranch. The horse, overlooking a root, stumbles a third time. Calmly, the cowboy says:
"Three."
He gets off the horse, helps off his bride, takes his gun and shoots the horse. His bride is shocked! "How could you, you monster! This poor beast carried us all the way and you shoot it in cold blood! Had I known this, I'd never have married you!"
"One."
A man decides to purchase a horse...
From a religious woman. She instructs the man that to encourage the horse to run he must say: "Thank god" and to stop the horse: "amen". The man acknowledges this and rides home, pleased with his purchase. The next week he is out riding the horse when he notices he is riding toward a cliff. Panicking he tells the horse to heel. The horse continues to gallop toward the cliff edge as his rider continues to yell "stop" until right at the last minute he remembers the key word. "Amen!" he yells just in time for the horse to stop inches from the edge of the cliff. The man exclaims "Thank god!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Blond who wanted to ride horses.
A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons, nor prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slide from the saddle.
In t**..., she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the horse's side anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.
Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup, she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over.
As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune, Frank, the Walmart greeter, sees her dilemma and unplugs the horse.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde decides to try horseback riding...
..even though she has had neither lessons nor prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.
In t**..., she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the horse's side anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.
Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup; she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over.
As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune...
Frank, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her dilemma and unplugs the horse.
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