Horse Manure Jokes
18 horse manure jokes and hilarious horse manure puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about horse manure that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Horse Manure Short Jokes
Short horse manure jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The horse manure humour may include short manure jokes also.
- My farmer friend told me that horse manure is excellent for strawberries. I said, You may be right, but I still prefer whipped cream.
- I'm kinda new to gardening... Someone suggested I put horse manure on my strawberries.
Well, I'm never doing that again...
I'll just stick to whipped cream. - Two flies are sitting on a steaming pile of horse manure. One of the flies grunts and breaks wind. The other fly says, "Geez! Do you mind? I"m trying to eat over here!"
- I heard old horse manure makes the best fertilizer Can someone tell me how old the horse has to be?
- TIL that the word b**... got its meaning because people who got caught lying in court were punished by having to eat cow manure, or horse manure, hence h**.... Not really.
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Horse Manure One Liners
Which horse manure one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with horse manure? I can suggest the ones about horse hay and horse neigh.
- I got a job cleaning horse manure. Well, the ad promise a stable income.
- She was only a stableman's daughter... but all the horse manure.
- Three Irish men won a small s**... of horse manure. They each had a third.
- What's worse than stepping on a pile of horse manure? Getting r**... by a giant scorpion.
Horse Manure Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about horse manure you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean horse mounted jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make horse manure pranks.
So a cowboy parks his horse at the saloon, ties him to the outside, kisses him on the a**..., and walks in to have a stiff drink.
The bar keeper saw this happen, and he just had to ask. "Why'd ya kiss your horse on the a**... before coming in? You got s**... all over your lips!" The cowboy, cool as can be, takes a stiff drink before answering. "It's 'cuz I got chapped lips." The bartender was even more confused; "Horse manure helps with chapped lips?"
"Nah," says the cowboy. "But it keeps me from lickin' 'em"
Take a spoon of horse manure twice a day.
Patient: Doctor, can you give me anything to help with my halitosis?
Doctor: Take a spoon of horse manure twice a day.
Patient: Will that cure it?
Doctor: No, but it will take the edge off the smell.
World's Best Vacuum Cleaner
A young man knocks on a residential door and an elderly lady answers, the young man says "hello maam, I'm here to show you the world's best vacuum cleaner!", she responds "sorry but I'm not interested and I have no money" as she tries to close the door.
Of course the young man puts his foot in the door and says "Maam, I'm so confident that this is the World's Best Vacuum Cleaner that I'll eat what's in this bag if you smell anything after this vacuum cleans and deodorizes your carpet!" He then takes a small bag of horse manure and dumps it right on her carpet in front of her.
She starts walking away to the back of the house and he says "where are you going maam, don't you want to see the world's best vacuum cleaner in action?", she replies "I'm going to get you some silverware from the kitchen because my power was turned off last week".
I told you I was broke…
A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.
'Good morning,' said the young man. 'If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners . '
'Go away!' said the old lady. 'I'm broke and haven't got any money!' and she proceeded to close the door.
Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open. 'Don't be too hasty!' he said. 'Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.' And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet. 'If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder.'
The old lady stepped back and said, 'Well let me get you a fork, 'cause they cut off my electricity this morning.
When i say i'm broke...I'm broke!
Yesterday I answered a knock on the door, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.
"Good morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners."
"Go away!" I said. "I haven't got any money!", "I'm broke!" and proceeded to close the door.
Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed wide open. "Don't be too hasty!" he said. "Not until you have at least seen my demonstration." And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto my hallway carpet.
"If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder."
I stepped back and said, "Well I hope you've got a good appetite, because they cut off my electricity this morning. What part of broke do you not understand?"