Horse Knock Knock Jokes
9 horse knock knock jokes and hilarious horse knock knock puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about horse knock knock that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Uproarious Horse Knock Knock Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
What is a good horse knock knock joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
This has been my stand-by joke since I was about 12
Two brothers want to go deer hunting but the only land nearby is owned by a grumpy farmer.
The decide to ask him if they can hunt on his property but when they pull up in the driveway neither brother wants to go knock on the door.
They play rock-paper-scissors and the older brother loses. He walks to the door and asks the farmer if they can go hunting.
The old farmer points to a nearby corral and says "See that horse? She's been mine for 20 years. She's blind and dying and I don't have the heart to put her down. If you do that for me, you boys can hunt on my land".
The older brother agrees and while walking back to the truck he thinks of a prank to play on his younger brother.
"I'll teach that lousy no-good farmer to say no!" he exclaims. "See that horse over there? Watch this!" He levels his rifle and shoots it! He hears gunshots next to him and looks at his brother.
"I got two of his cows" yells the younger brother, "lets get out of here!"
Zorro went up to his lover and left his horse
Under the window so he could jump right on, in case her husband returned.
So he is making love and suddenly hears knock on the door. He quickly grabs his clothes and jumps thought the window.
Woman opens the door and there is Zorro's horse and he goes:
"hey, tell him that it's raining outside and I will be waiting in the hall"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Dutchman and an Englishmen meet in a beach bar on holiday.
The Dutchman speaks hardly any English and the Englishman, inevitably, even less Dutch, but they still enjoy each other's company and knock back a few beers together. After a while the Englishman manages to get across a question: "what is it that you do for a living?"
The Dutchman says carefully "I... *f**...\**... horses."
"Pardon?!" exclaims the Englishman.
"*Ja! Paarden!*" says the Dutchman, beaming widely.
\----
\* \['breed'\]
John gets a Christmas parrot
John decided to get his wife a Christmas present. Maybe a puppy. Walking in to the pet store, he searches for the right puppy.
"Excuse me sir, are you looking for a Christmas present?" the clerk asked. "Yes, I think she would like a puppy," John replies.
"Here," motioning towards the back of the store, "we have a very special bird, Chet. He sings Christmas carols. See, light a match and hold it under his left foot." The parrot begins to sing, "Silent night, holy night." Pulling the match away, "And now his right foot." The parrot sings, "Dashing through the snow, in a one horse open sleigh." "Perfect," John exclaims.
Molly was home as she hears John knocking on the door. Letting him in, John proudly smiles, "His name is Chet. I got you a singing parrot!" Raising a eyebrow, Molly stares at him. Placing the parrot on his stand, John lights a match. "Listen to him sing when I hold the match under his left foot." The parrot begins to sing again, "Silent night, holy night." Pulling the match away, "And now his right foot." The parrot sings, "Dashing through the snow, in a one horse open sleigh."
"Well, what do you think?" Jon smiles. Molly stood quietly, "What would happened if you hold the match, well, between his feet?"
Holding the match between his feet, the parrot squawks, "CHET'S NUTS ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE!"
A guy walks into a bar...
…And says to the bartender, *knock-knock*!
The bartender says, What, is that some kind of joke?
The guy replies, Take my wife, please!
The bartender yells, I've had it!
He storms out from behind the bar and kicks the duck and talking dog.
The blonde looks up in surprise and hides behind the priest.
The bartender grabs the rabbi instead and throws him out, hitting the blind guy heading in.
The bartender hops on the horse and rides off.
A time traveler walks into a bar.
A man was sitting reading his Sunday newspaper
when his wife hit him on the head with a frying pan.
'What was that for?' the man asked.
The wife replied 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket'..
The man then said 'When I was at the horse races yesterday Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on' the wife apologized and went on with the housework..
Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.
Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.
Wife replied.. 'Your horse phoned'
World's Best Vacuum Cleaner
A young man knocks on a residential door and an elderly lady answers, the young man says "hello maam, I'm here to show you the world's best vacuum cleaner!", she responds "sorry but I'm not interested and I have no money" as she tries to close the door.
Of course the young man puts his foot in the door and says "Maam, I'm so confident that this is the World's Best Vacuum Cleaner that I'll eat what's in this bag if you smell anything after this vacuum cleans and deodorizes your carpet!" He then takes a small bag of horse manure and dumps it right on her carpet in front of her.
She starts walking away to the back of the house and he says "where are you going maam, don't you want to see the world's best vacuum cleaner in action?", she replies "I'm going to get you some silverware from the kitchen because my power was turned off last week".
I told you I was broke…
A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.
'Good morning,' said the young man. 'If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners . '
'Go away!' said the old lady. 'I'm broke and haven't got any money!' and she proceeded to close the door.
Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open. 'Don't be too hasty!' he said. 'Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.' And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet. 'If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder.'
The old lady stepped back and said, 'Well let me get you a fork, 'cause they cut off my electricity this morning.
When i say i'm broke...I'm broke!
Yesterday I answered a knock on the door, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.
"Good morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners."
"Go away!" I said. "I haven't got any money!", "I'm broke!" and proceeded to close the door.
Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed wide open. "Don't be too hasty!" he said. "Not until you have at least seen my demonstration." And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto my hallway carpet.
"If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder."
I stepped back and said, "Well I hope you've got a good appetite, because they cut off my electricity this morning. What part of broke do you not understand?"
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