Horrific Jokes
38 horrific jokes and hilarious horrific puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about horrific that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Horrific Short Jokes
Short horrific jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The horrific humour may include short atrocious jokes also.
- "Jesus loves you." A nice thing to hear in church. And a horrific thing to hear in a Mexican prison.
- A soldier was rushed to the hospital with a horrific bayonet wound. Unfortunately, he was pronounced dead on a rifle.
- Did you hear that Jim Carrey lost his left arm in a horrific accident? I guess that makes him all-righty then.
- Did you know Dracula had a brother who feasted on pancakes? His name was Count Spatula
(Tried this out on my kids the other day. It went horrifically bad) - My brother-in-law is missing half of his hand due to a horrific logging injury, so I asked him do you get half off when you get your palm read?
- My girlfriend lost her left arm and left leg in a horrific accident. Don't worry. She's all right now.
- "Jesus loves you" Nice if you're in church, downright horrific if you're in a Mexican prison.
- A man got into a horrific accident that resulted in him losing an arm and a leg. Don't worry, he's all right now.
- I'm watching the horrific pictures of the US Wild Fires in Bel-Air. They believe it was started by an Arsonist.
They are dusting for fresh prints.
.
.
.
.
Too soon??????? - A horse got into a horrific accident Don't woeey though, he's now in a stable condition in the hospital.
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Horrific One Liners
Which horrific one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with horrific? I can suggest the ones about horrible and hideous.
- My wife's skydiving experience ended horrifically. The parachute worked.
- What does Captain America and Spain have in common? A horrific Civil War
- What's more horrific than 9/11 for an Italian ? 7/11 pizza ...
- My sister was injured in a horrific singing accident. "Oh no, is Carrey OK?"
- What was the dentist's horrific gastronomical invention? Tartar sauce.
- Did you hear about the horrific van attack in Germany? It was a truly Muensterous attack.
- What is it called when you're born in space? Horrifically deformed.
- Why did Jimmy get into a horrific car accident? He let God take the wheel
- What do you call an orphan who suffers from horrific parental a**...? A paradox.
Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Horrific Jokes
What funny jokes about horrific you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dreadful jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make horrific pranks.
I'm immortal
Have you ever noticed that it's only 'perfect' people who are murdered or killed in horrific accidents?
"He was the perfect son" or "She was the perfect daughter."
"Such a tragic accident they were the perfect family."
"They died together, the perfect couple till the end."
Makes me glad I a**... my kids and beat up my wife.
Kind of makes me immortal.
A joke I've picked up from working in Higher Education.
At a small university there is the director of the Sociology program, the director of the Religious Studies program, the director of the Anthropology program and the university president. All four of them are heading to a conference in the next town over. The directors all decide to carpool, and the president is driving his Porsche behind them. On the way to the conference the directors loose control of their vehicle and c**... into oncoming traffic. It's a horrific accident. The university president manages to stop his car, gets out, witnesses the accident and exclaims...
"Oh the Humanities!"
A man was in a horrific car accident and rushed to the hospital. A few days later, he woke up startled and yelled, Doctor, I can't feel my legs!
The doctor replied, I'm sorry, but we had to amputate your arms.
So a vulture is in line to board a plane...
and he's got a deer carcass in his claws. The TSA agent turns to the vulture and says, "That deer carcass smells horrific, surely you are going to check it on?" The vulture looks at the agent, smiles and says, "Nope, it's carrion."
Contrary to what historians will tell you, Napoleon had a more horrific death.
It turns out, the military leader had walked over an active land mine causing it to explode. Body parts were strewn all over the place. Yeah. That's right. Napoleon was Blown-apart!
I was watching some construction workers today
outside my office building. They were laying down a bunch of grass.
I saw a forklift come in carrying rolls of grass, when all of a sudden a huge bulldozer came out of nowhere and crashed full speed into the forklift. Both the driver of the forklift and the grass went flying...
It was quite the horrific sight indeed...all I could think was, "Poor sod..."
Q: What did the judge say about the man shot twelve times by the police?
A: The most horrific s**... scenario I have ever heard of.
A great tragedy befalls the USSR
At a Central Committee meeting dozens of high ranking officials were accidentally killed, poisoned with toxic mushrooms in their soup.
The investigation team arrives at the scene. It was horrific, some had scratched their throats deeply, other lay with foam at they mouth or bloodshot eyes.
But the investigation teams discovers something interesting, three of the dead had gun shot wound to their heads.
"What happened here, we thought this was a poisoning?"
"It was, but these three refused to eat their soup."
A fiery d**..., clad in sleigh bells, entered the chamber.
Gandalf immediately froze in fear. It was what he had feared since entering Moria.
With each horrific step, the bells jangled d**....
That's the jingle bell, muttered Gandalf.
Step.
That's the jingle bell.
Step.
That's the jingle Balrog.
In London, British scientists created a frog embryo without a head, a breakthrough that could lead to the production of headless human clones to provide organs and tissue for transplant, as well as horrific nightmares for the rest of my life.
Asked to give a statement after a cigarette sparked a fire that burned down a sweatshop where their products were being made, Old Navy replied:
"It's a travesty. It's a truly, horrific travesty. Nobody should be allowed to sell cigarettes to children that age!"
TIL the musical group Ace of Base was killed in a horrific traffic accident after they missed their exit on the highway and crashed...
Police later said, "they didn't see the sign..."
A horse was in a horrific accident.
I'm too tired to write the whole story.
Basically, the bartender goes, "Hey, pal. Why such the long face?"
When a paraplegic doesn't something amazing, they are handicapable. When a paraplegic does something horrific, they are...
handiculpable.
