The Best 9 Horoscopes Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Horoscopes jokes. There are some horoscopes obituaries jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these horoscopes fortuneteller puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Horoscopes Jokes and Puns

My girlfriend said she's a big fan of horoscopes. You know what that makes me?


Met a girl that's into horoscopes

Her : I'm a Sagittarius, bet that already tells you a lot about me.

Me : So according to this website, would you say you're a curious, energetic person that wants to be a part of things rather than be a spectator?

Her : Mmmhm that's me to a T

Me : Congratulations you're an Aries.

There's a name for people that believe in horoscopes.

They are called single women.

I think horoscopes are a complete and utter waste of time.

But, of course, I'm a Scorpio, and we are all skeptics.

I think horoscopes are absolute tosh.

But you know me, typical Virgo.

My Proctologist does horoscopes which, I guess,

makes him an Asstrologist.

Horoscopes are the enemy of rational thought.

They are a cancer to critical thinking.

I don't believe in horoscopes

I'm leo, we're skeptical.

I never believed horoscopes and think the star signs are bullshit

And don't try to argue with me on that subject. You cannot win an argument with a Sagittarius.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the horoscopes gemini jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working horoscopes starsign piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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