Horns Jokes
49 horns jokes and hilarious horns puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about horns that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Horns Short Jokes
Short horns jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The horns humour may include short wear horned jokes also.
- What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a guy who fixes bicycle horns? One's motto is 'Be Prepared', the other's is 'Beep Repaired'
- I wish life was more like hockey... Who doesn't want a horn to sound when their period ends?
- Why do farmers put bell on their cows? Because their horns don't work.
(From my 6yo who loves her new joke book.) - What's the smallest unit of time in the known universe? The interval between the traffic light changing to green and the taxi driver behind you honking his horn.
- What do you call a horse with the horn? A unicorn. What do you call a horse without the horn? A eunuchorn.
- Why do cows wear bells around their necks? Because their horns don't work
8 year old brother just told me this joke, thought it belonged here - A Boy Scout decided to start a business fixing horns on cars and trucks… He called it "Beep Repaired."
- If I were a trumpet player I would constantly borrow other people's trumpets. I'd hate to toot my own horn
- Gabriel's horn is a geometric figure which has infinite surface area but finite volume This is in contrast to a vuvuzela which has a finite surface area but infinite volume
- What do you call a group of medical professionals who navigate around the Horn of Africa without being accosted by pirates? Doctors without boarders.
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Horns One Liners
Which horns one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with horns? I can suggest the ones about cow horn and car horn.
- {air horn sound} {second air horn sound}
Me: this isn't deodorant - What do you call a unicorn that's had its horn removed. Eunuchorn
- Why do cows wear bells? because their horns don't work.
- My daughter just made this one up… What do you call a unicorn with two horns? A goat.
- I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop. It was sole-destroying.
- I can put both of my legs behind my head. Y'know, not to toot my own horn or anything.
- What do you call an animal that got its horn cut off ? A Eunuchorn
- What is special about unicorns? Their unique horns.
- What do you call a cheap trumpet? A frugal horn
- What do you call a battle where the only weapons are truck horns? A fight to the deaf!!
- What has one horn and gives milk? A milk truck,
- What happened to the jazz player whose wife left him? He had to toot his own horn.
- Which mythical creature has the hardest time reproducing? A Unic- horn.
- What happens when you cross a rhinoceros with a dolphin? You get horn-ee-ee-ee-ee
- What do you call a unicorn that had its horn cut off? A eunuchorn!
Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Horns Jokes
What funny jokes about horns you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean honk jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make horns pranks.
The government in Egypt has asked the city's taxi drivers to drive around Cairo sounding their car horns. It is hoped that the familiar sounds of the city will induce a return to tranquility and normality following the recent pandemic.
Operation Toot 'n Calm 'Em will last for the rest of the week.
A blonde was touring a farm...
...and asked the farmer, "Why doesn't that cow over there have horns?"
"There are many reasons why a cow doesn't have horns," began the farmer. "Some cows are bred to be hornless. On some cows, the horns come in later. Sometimes, the horns are removed. And on some cows, the horns fall off. That particular cow doesn't have horns because it's a horse."
No one is allowed to congregate for funerals; instead people drive by the cemetery and honk their horns in respect. One man drives by blasting Another One Bites The Dust
The family wanted to be mad, but then another car drove by playing the same song, and another one does, and another one does, and another one drives a bus.
A series of cow jokes
Q: What do you call a sleeping cow?
A: A bull-dozer
Q: How does a farmer count his cows?
A: With a cowculator
Q: Why do cows wear bells?
A: Because their horns don't work
Q: Why don't cows have money?
A: The farmers milk them dry
Q: What's a grumpy cow called?
A: Moooody
A blonde is walking past a pasture
Being curious about various farm animals and seeing a farmer nearby she asks him "How come those cows don't have horns? I thought cows have horns." Farmer, happy to explain the situation to polite woman nods and says "You see miss, we often remove horns from cows. That way they don't get into accidents, don't hurt each other, don't get tangled into branches or fences or simialr. We do that by either sawing them off of putting a drop of acid on the horns when they are still young so they don't grow. But those particular cows don't have horns because they are horses."
Two big, strong, grey animals are talking to each other...
Animal 1: Hey, you realize we have horns on the top of our heads right?
Animal 2: Rhino
Why do cows wear bells?
Why do cows wear bells?
Their horns don't work.
Daddy, what are all those cars' horns honking for?
It's for a wedding son.
I thought the horn was supposed to be only used as a warning.
Exactly son.
l**..., chased by an angel, hid himself in the London Philharmonic Orchestra
He was eventually found in the horns section.
Political speeches are like steer horns: a point here, a point there,
and a lot of bull in between.
What has two horns like a rhinoceros, four legs like a rhinoceros, a tail like a rhinoceros, looks just like a rhinoceros, but is not a rhinoceros?
A picture of a rhinoceros.
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow?
The bull has horns, and the cow is the udder one.
I put horns on my laptop
to improve it's RAM capability
Dad and his son are sitting on the front porch.
Meanwhile a column of cars are passing by and honking their horns.
"Dad why are they honking their horns?" asked the son.
"They are going to a wedding" responds the father
"But in school we learned that horns should be used only as a warning"
"Exactly..."
The bull and the lion
So a bull is walking through the jungle one day, bragging about his enormous size and impressive horns. He even boasted that he was afraid of nothing in the jungle. Well, a lion heard this boasting and laughed as he proceeded to kill the bull and eat him. After getting his belly full, he roared with delight that he was the king of the jungle!!!! A nearby hunter heard the roaring and shot the lion.
Moral of the story? Sometimes when you are full of bull it's better to keep your mouth shut
Why do cows have bells?
Because their horns don't make any noise
Which cow needs to wear a bell?
The one whose horns don't work.
What has four legs, two horns, and always brags about climbing really tall things?
A mountain gloat.
Have you heard about Cario's taxi drivers?
The Government in Egypt has asked the city's taxi drivers to drive around Cairo sounding their car horns.
It is hoped that the familiar sounds of the city will induce a return to tranquillity and normality following the recent pandemic.
Operation Toot 'n Calm 'Em will last for the rest of the week.
Why do pyramids have horns?
So you can tootandcomein.
Why do rich guys always honk their horns?
So blind people can know they're d**... too.
What did Ozzy Osbourne do after eating a whole Bull?
He threw up the horns.
And is why cows wear bells
Do you know why cows wear bells?. Its cause their horns arent working.
TIL Ancient Egyptian pyramids didn't have doorbells, they had horns instead.
You just used to toot and come in.
We have an old saying in Pripyat...
Take the cat by the horns!
what do you call a unicorn with 2 horns and 2 tails?
bizarre.
