The Best 44 Horns Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Horns jokes. There are some horns corral jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these horns french horn puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Horns Jokes and Puns

Why do cows wear bells?

because their horns don't work.

Lucifer, chased by an angel, hid himself in the London Philharmonic Orchestra

He was eventually found in the horns section.

A series of cow jokes

Q: What do you call a sleeping cow?
A: A bull-dozer
Q: How does a farmer count his cows?
A: With a cowculator
Q: Why do cows wear bells?
A: Because their horns don't work
Q: Why don't cows have money?
A: The farmers milk them dry
Q: What's a grumpy cow called?
A: Moooody

Two big, strong, grey animals are talking to each other...

Animal 1: Hey, you realize we have horns on the top of our heads right?

Animal 2: Rhino

jokes about horns

What did Ozzy Osbourne do after eating a whole Bull?

He threw up the horns.

Why are barns so noisy?

All the cows have horns

Fog Horns

If tin whistles are made of tin, what are fog horns made of?

Horns joke, Fog Horns

A man with goat legs and horns walks into a bar...

It's only Satyr

What has four legs, two horns, and always brags about climbing really tall things?

A mountain gloat.

Why do cows wear bells around their necks?

Because their horns don't work

8 year old brother just told me this joke, thought it belonged here

What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a guy who fixes bicycle horns?

One's motto is 'Be Prepared', the other's is 'Beep Repaired'

You can explore horns trombones reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean horns barns dad jokes. There are also horns puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Daddy, what are all those cars' horns honking for?

It's for a wedding son.

I thought the horn was supposed to be only used as a warning.

Exactly son.

We have an old saying in Pripyat...

Take the cat by the horns!

How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow?

The bull has horns, and the cow is the udder one.

Why did the Cow say "Moo"?

Because her horns didn't work!

TIL Vikings didn't have horns on their head. Instead, they had horns on their helmets.

Horns joke, TIL Vikings didn't have horns on their head. Instead, they had horns on their helmets.

A Boy Scout decided to start a business fixing horns on cars and trucks…

He called it "Beep Repaired."

Dad and his son are sitting on the front porch.

Meanwhile a column of cars are passing by and honking their horns.
"Dad why are they honking their horns?" asked the son.
"They are going to a wedding" responds the father
"But in school we learned that horns should be used only as a warning"

After Scar was kicked out of the animal kingdom, he got a job fixing car horns at an auto mechanic.

Beep repaired

TIL Ancient Egyptian pyramids didn't have doorbells, they had horns instead.

You just used to toot and come in.

Horn and wedding

Mommy, why are all the cars beeping their horns?

Because there's a wedding going on.

But isn't the horn a warning signal, Mommy?

Exactly, son.

Why do rich guys always honk their horns?

So blind people can know they're dicks too.

I'm castrated and my Queen sent me to buy a trumpet specifically for men like me. Only problem is...

...eunuch horns don't exist.

How do you milk a sheep?

Same way you milk a cow... DON'T do it to the ones with horns.

What has 3 horns and gives milk ?

A cow driving a car.

A blonde was touring a farm...

...and asked the farmer, "Why doesn't that cow over there have horns?"

"There are many reasons why a cow doesn't have horns," began the farmer. "Some cows are bred to be hornless. On some cows, the horns come in later. Sometimes, the horns are removed. And on some cows, the horns fall off. That particular cow doesn't have horns because it's a horse."

Horns joke, A blonde was touring a farm...

what do you call a unicorn with 2 horns and 2 tails?


Why do pyramids have horns?

So you can tootandcomein.

And is why cows wear bells

Do you know why cows wear bells?. Its cause their horns arent working.

Have you heard about Cario's taxi drivers?

The Government in Egypt has asked the city's taxi drivers to drive around Cairo sounding their car horns.

It is hoped that the familiar sounds of the city will induce a return to tranquillity and normality following the recent pandemic.

Operation Toot 'n Calm 'Em will last for the rest of the week.

The government in Egypt has asked the city's taxi drivers to drive around Cairo sounding their car horns. It is hoped that the familiar sounds of the city will induce a return to tranquility and normality following the recent pandemic.

Operation Toot 'n Calm 'Em will last for the rest of the week.

What do a bull and a brass band have in common?

You are in for some pain if you try to honk their horns without permission.

Why do cows have bells?

Because their horns don't make any noise

Which cow needs to wear a bell?

The one whose horns don't work.

Why do farmers put bells on their cows?

Because their horns don't work.

(From my 6yo who loves her new joke book.)

A blonde is walking past a pasture

Being curious about various farm animals and seeing a farmer nearby she asks him "How come those cows don't have horns? I thought cows have horns." Farmer, happy to explain the situation to polite woman nods and says "You see miss, we often remove horns from cows. That way they don't get into accidents, don't hurt each other, don't get tangled into branches or fences or simialr. We do that by either sawing them off of putting a drop of acid on the horns when they are still young so they don't grow. But those particular cows don't have horns because they are horses."

Why do cows wear bells?

Why do cows wear bells?

Their horns don't work.

No one is allowed to congregate for funerals; instead people drive by the cemetery and honk their horns in respect. One man drives by blasting Another One Bites The Dust

The family wanted to be mad, but then another car drove by playing the same song, and another one does, and another one does, and another one drives a bus.

The bull and the lion

So a bull is walking through the jungle one day, bragging about his enormous size and impressive horns. He even boasted that he was afraid of nothing in the jungle. Well, a lion heard this boasting and laughed as he proceeded to kill the bull and eat him. After getting his belly full, he roared with delight that he was the king of the jungle!!!! A nearby hunter heard the roaring and shot the lion.
Moral of the story? Sometimes when you are full of bull it's better to keep your mouth shut

I put horns on my laptop

to improve it's RAM capability

My daughter just made this one up… What do you call a unicorn with two horns?

A goat.

What has two horns like a rhinoceros, four legs like a rhinoceros, a tail like a rhinoceros, looks just like a rhinoceros, but is not a rhinoceros?

A picture of a rhinoceros.

What do you call a battle where the only weapons are truck horns?

A fight to the deaf!!

Political speeches are like steer horns: a point here, a point there,

and a lot of bull in between.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the horns cow puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working horns english horn piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes