Horizontal Jokes
9 horizontal jokes and hilarious horizontal puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about horizontal that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Share Hilarious Horizontal Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter
What is a good horizontal joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Americas curve is flattening alright.
Just vertically instead of horizontally.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man goes to a psychiatrist for an evaluation
So the psychiatrist draws a horizontal line and asks him what that reminds him of. "A n**... woman" he replies. So he draws a vertical line. "And this?" he asks "A n**... woman." Doctor then draws an X and asks the same question. "Two people having s**...." comes the answer. "Hmmmmm" goes the doctor. "It seems you have obsession with s**...." he speculates.
"Me?" answers the shocked man. "Who drew all this filth?"
"Leagues" in "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea" refers to horizontal distance, not depth.
Otherwise it would be called "Journey to the Center of the Earth."
You can reduce your weight by one simple exercise of shaking your head horizontally.
Do it when you are offered food
A plane has a horrible accident...
...and is split in half horizontally. Everyone is holding onto the oxygen masks above with their legs dangling in the air.
The captain shouts to the passengers, "We can make it, but the weight's off - at least one person needs to let go or else none of us will make it!"
Willing to die for a good cause, a young man shouts "I will sacrifice my life for all of you!"
Everyone claps.
It's very easy to tell when I'm lying.
Usually, my body is in a horizontal position.
Xbox ps5 rotate joke
How to switch the Xbox series X from vertical to horizontal ? Can you do that on your PS5 ?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two blondes solving a crossword
Two blondes are spending some time together, the one is watching TV while the other struggles with one particular crossword question for some time now...
After a while she decides to ask her friend for help..
- Do you know the answer to the clue "Female s**... o**..."?
-- Hmmmm. Horizontally or vertically?
- Horizontally
-- Oh yes! "Mouth"
What's half of 8?
00 if you cut horizontally and 33 if you cut vertically
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