Hopeless Jokes
28 hopeless jokes and hilarious hopeless puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hopeless that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article explores the idea of "hopeless jokes" from a hopeless romantic's point of view. Learn about the desperate nature of these jokes, and the futility of attempting to make someone laugh in relationships.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Hopeless Short Jokes
Short hopeless jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hopeless humour may include short hopeful jokes also.
- My girlfriend says I'm hopeless at fixing electrical appliances. Welp she's in for a shock.
- I took my dog to the park today to play Frisbee. He was hopeless. I think I need a flatter dog.
- The Spanish national soccer team visited an orphanage in Brazil today "It was hard to see their sad and hopeless faces", said one of the orphans
- The argentina team visited an orphanage in Russia - It breaks my heart to see those poor eyes filled with sadness and hopelessness..
said one of the orphans. - The Japanese soccer team visits an orphanage in Spain. "It's so sad to see the hopeless looks on their faces", said Rico, age 6.
- My Russian pal is such a hopeless drunk that he joined the Red Army just to go to Ukraine He heard that in the land of Ukraine, cocktails literally fall from the sky.
- Before leaving Russia, the German football team visited an orphanage in Moscow "It was so sad to see the pain and hopelessness on their faces" said Vladimir, age 5.
- How did the man hope to measure his hopelessness? He searched for the the sin of his angle of depression.
- We found love in a hopeless place We found Steve in a frozen place
We found Stark in an iron case
We found Hulk in some gamma rays
We found Thor punching Lokis face - What did the hopeless romantic baker say to the dough? You're my life's devotion. I knead you!
Share These Hopeless Jokes With Friends
Hopeless One Liners
Which hopeless one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hopeless? I can suggest the ones about desperate and futile.
- My girlfriend says I'm hopeless at fixing appliances. Well she's in for a shock.
- How to avoid clickbait. Rule 1: Don't click on this. Rule 2: You are all hopeless idiots.
- My kids say I'm hopeless at fixing appliances... Well, they're in for a shock...
- What do you call a depressed tick from Rome? A hopeless Roman Tick
- A toast for a hopeless romantics wedding One word "Finally"
- Call me a hopeless romantic. I can't wait for the day a woman loves me for my money.
- What do you call a frog that can't jump? Hopeless
- Why does the ancient bug fall in love so easily? It's a hopeless Roman tic
- I lent the homeless 1p. Now they're hopeless.
Entertaining Hopeless Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone
What funny jokes about hopeless you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean unfortunate jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hopeless pranks.
Luke Skywalker and Yoda are hopelessly lost on their journey...
Luke: Yoda, we've been walking for hours! Are you sure that we're going the right way?
Yoda: For the tenth time, told you, I have! Off course, we are!
Still my favorite joke I ever made up. :)
A monocle walks into a bar. After a few drinks he starts to feel pretty good (and a little uncoordinated). He reaches for a cigarette, but the bartender stops him. "Sorry, buddy, but due to city ordinances we don't allow smoking in here. You'll have to step outside to smoke."
So the monocle hops off the bar stool and grabs his cigarettes to head outside. Meanwhile a second monocle emerges from the bathroom. They bump into each other as they cross paths and fall to the floor, hopelessly entangled. They try to get free but the more they struggle, the more tangled they become.
The bartender looks down on this travesty and shakes his head. "Hey you two!" he shouts. "Stop making spectacles of yourselves!"
A man parks his car on the street and goes into a shop....
...When he comes out, the car is not where he left it and apparently was stolen. So he calls the police and hopelessly goes back home. Two days later, he finds his car at his front door, with a note left in:
I am very sorry but I had to borrow your car, because my wife was in labor and about to give birth and I had to act quickly. I deeply apologize and send these front-row concert tickets for you and your wife to enjoy this tuesday evening.
So the man and his wife go to the concert tuesday evening. When they return home, they realize someone broke in and the house was burgled. And a note was left on the floor: Soo, did you like the concert?
Sorry for the terrible grammar :D
Guys wife in horrible accident & now in a coma...
...& seems hopeless. However one of the nurses noticed slight movement when sponging her private parts & encouraged the husband to try & arouse her. Try a little o**... s**... is all, you never know. We'll give you privacy. So the husband goes in, but 2 minutes later the wife flat-lines & dies. The nurse runs in & asks what happened.
"I'm not positive, but I think she choked to death!"
It's Sadder in Italy
Doctore, all five of my bambinos! They have the no ambition! They all want to be valets when they grows up, jus' like their lazy father! Can you do anything?
…
…
I'm afraid it is hopeless, Senora Abatangelo. It is the worst case of parking son's disease I have ever seen.
Mommy and Daddy rabbit were enjoying a splendid afternoon in the woods.
Suddenly, the sound of hunting dogs shattered their idyllic time together. They ran for their lives. The dogs were relentless. Finally the two terrified bunnies took shelter in a hollow log. The dogs had them trapped. The situation seemed hopeless.
Daddy looked at Mommy and said "Well, we'll just have to outnumber them."
I went deer hunting with my older brothers when I was a youngster
It was in a mountainous area and I got separated from the group. Hopeless and lost I remember them telling me what to do: fire 3 shots in the air and they would come rescue me. Every 20 minutes I did that until I was accidentally found by a group of hunters that just happened to be passing by. I told them I sure was glad to see them! I was down to my last 3 arrows!
