Elongate would be really drawn out.
I hope.
I hope she gets the message that we're not working out.
As he walked to the door she yelled, "I hope you die a long, slow, painful death."
He turned around and said, "So, you want me to stay?"
I really hope it's Todd, he's cute.
A man and his wife are talking.
W- can you help me in the garden?
H- do i look like a fucking gardener?
W- well can you help with the door?
H- do i look like a fucking carpenter?
Man leaves for work. Comes back later and it's all done.
H- see I knew you could do it!
W- wasn't me. It was John the neighbor.
H- how much you pay him?
W- no money he gave me the choice between sex and bread.
H- I hope you gave him bread.
W- Do I look like a fucking baker?
Oh well then it must be your feet.
Sorry for such a crude joke but this was my dad's favorite joke and he passed this morning. I hope you guys get a laugh or two it's what he would have wanted.
A family walks into a hotel and the father goes to the front desk and says "I hope the porn is disabled." The guy at the desk replies. "It's just regular porn you sick fuck."
Europa creek with no paddle.
I hope someone smiles at this dumb space joke.
Because I'd do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes, with a 10 minute break in between for snacks. Then I'd stare at you for another 5-10 minutes thinking, "Wow, I really hope I don't screw this up."
That way it will never come for me
So I hit her, because no one can call my mom a bitch.
Then I hit myself, because no one can hit my mum.
Then she hit me, because no one can hit her son.
And then she hit herself, because NO ONE can hit her son.
Then I hit her. because no one can hit my mum.
I hope we'll solve this when father gets home...
Reaching around and pretending it went all the way through.
*This is my first post here, and I hope I didn't offend anyone too much. I heard this joke in a pub in central Australia and found it way to funny.*
I have a feeling Paul/Walker would crash and burn.
Hope it doesn't run in the family because my mums got it too
From my head, tomatoes.
Hope no one has heard this before, thought of it while driving.
Nelson Mandela became President after 27 years in prison.
Hope she likes her toaster.
I hope it's Michael. Hes cute.
Because it's about to get choked
Just to show how a touch of brown sugar makes a ginger snap.
I hope you're happy now
I told her I hope she gets a "C".
Wife: You bastard! I hope you have a damn good reason for coming home at 7 in the morning.
Husband: Of course I do.
Wife: Do tell!
Husband: Breakfast.
The other day I was reading my emails and there was one from my boss, it said;
"Mr. Morgan I regret to inform you that although I thought this company could tolerate your ADD, I'm afraid you're just not productive enough. You may turn up Wednesday to collect your things. I sincerely hope you will be OK."
And I thought to myself, doesn't OK look like a sideways person?
Well I hope it is true because I haven't got any more tissues left..
The desk clerk says, "It's just regular porn, you sick fuck."
Well, the woman in church has hope in her soul, but the woman in tub has soap in her hole...
Although you don't go around comparing yours to other peoples, you always hope it's a little bigger.
A captain of the army goes to a prostitute and asks her :
"Say, madam, for a hundred dollars, would you accept my company ?"
And the prostitute answers : "Of course, a handsome military like you"
The captains thanks her, turns around and shout :
"Company, FORWARD !"
(I hope the joke translates well)
I hope it's me this year!
"I hate you, I want a divorce! Get out!"
As he walks out the door she screams: "I hope you die a slow and painful death!"
Husband says: "So wait a minute, now you want me to stay?"
I really hope its Todd, he's cute.
The father goes to the front desk and says "I hope the porn is disabled..."
The guy at the desk replies "It's just normal porn you sick fuck."
Nelson Mandela served 27 years in prison before becoming President.
Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Hope? Well, here are the best Hope dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Hope pick up lines to share with friends.