Elongate would be really drawn out.
I hope.
I hope she gets the message that we're not working out.
As he walked to the door she yelled, "I hope you die a long, slow, painful death."
He turned around and said, "So, you want me to stay?"
I really hope it's Todd, he's cute.
The last thing we need is more plastic in the ocean.
Europa creek with no paddle.
I hope someone smiles at this dumb space joke.
Because I'd do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes, with a 10 minute break in between for snacks. Then I'd stare at you for another 5-10 minutes thinking, "Wow, I really hope I don't screw this up."
That way it will never come for me
Reaching around and pretending it went all the way through.
*This is my first post here, and I hope I didn't offend anyone too much. I heard this joke in a pub in central Australia and found it way to funny.*
I have a feeling Paul/Walker would crash and burn.
Hope it doesn't run in the family because my mums got it too
From my head, tomatoes.
Hope no one has heard this before, thought of it while driving.
Nelson Mandela became President after 27 years in prison.
Hope she likes her toaster.
I hope he isnt beating himself up over this
I hope it's Michael. Hes cute.
Because it's about to get choked
Just to show how a touch of brown sugar makes a ginger snap.
I hope you're happy now
I told her I hope she gets a "C".
The other day I was reading my emails and there was one from my boss, it said;
"Mr. Morgan I regret to inform you that although I thought this company could tolerate your ADD, I'm afraid you're just not productive enough. You may turn up Wednesday to collect your things. I sincerely hope you will be OK."
And I thought to myself, doesn't OK look like a sideways person?
Well I hope it is true because I haven't got any more tissues left..
Well, the woman in church has hope in her soul, but the woman in tub has soap in her hole...
Although you don't go around comparing yours to other peoples, you always hope it's a little bigger.
A captain of the army goes to a prostitute and asks her :
"Say, madam, for a hundred dollars, would you accept my company ?"
And the prostitute answers : "Of course, a handsome military like you"
The captains thanks her, turns around and shout :
"Company, FORWARD !"
(I hope the joke translates well)
I hope it's me this year!
"I hate you, I want a divorce! Get out!"
As he walks out the door she screams: "I hope you die a slow and painful death!"
Husband says: "So wait a minute, now you want me to stay?"
Nelson Mandela served 27 years in prison before becoming President.
Two blondes won a joy ride in a helicopter. As they reached maximum altitude one turned to the other and said "I hope nothing goes wrong, have they got enough fuel?" The other responded "I hope so too, imagine if they ran out, we'd be stuck up here forever!"
I hope that stops them from electrocuting themselves
"It's heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope," said Jose, age 6.
But if I had known that, I wouldn't be in this situation in the first place.
Finally the wife screams at the husband to get out of the house. She throws his suitcases at him and he packs his things. On his way out, the woman says, "I hope you die the slowest, most miserable, most agonizing death imaginable." So he turns and says, " What, so now you want me to stay?"
I really hope it's Todd... he's cute.
A little boy asks his father: "Dad, what does it mean to be a man". The father replies: "well son, being a man means that you're the person in control of the situation, you're the one who takes all the important decisions".
"Well" - the kid answers - "then I hope to be a great man when I grow up, just like mom is".
I said, "So you want me to stay now?".
Hope so, I've got no tissues left
Walmart on a sunday night. Place is dead, my dad and I are stopping to grab some milk. Just a gallon. Go up to the cashier, she rings us up and we pay for it.
"Would you like a bag for that sir?" She asks us
My dad's swift reply: "No I'll keep it in the container, last time I put it in the bag it spilled everywhere."
First post hope you like it. :)
To whoever stole my thesaurus, you made my day bad. I hope bad things happen to you. You're a bad person.
She bets ten thousand on one roll of the dice. She says, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel luckier when I'm nude."
She strips down and rolls the dice. When she sees the dice she jumps for joy screaming "I won! I won!" She hugs the dealers, takes her winnings and leaves.
Finally, one of the dealers asks, "What did she roll?" The other says, "I thought you were watching!"
It goes to show: Not all blondes are dumb, but men will always be men.
Because they stick.
I came up with this one, I hope it's good cause it's my only achievement in life.
My gf told me to leave and never come back. As I was leaving she screamed, "I hope you die a slow painful death" so I said, "Oh so now you want me to stay?"
I hope my Roomba doesn't start gathering dirt on me
Hello!
He came closer and asked what problem is.
Old man: I'm looking for my son, but I'm gonna lose my hope.
Jesus pitied the man and said, let's look for your son together.
After some time, Jesus asked him that if he has some birthmark or else to recognize him more easily.
Yes, said the old man. He had nails driven on his hands and feet.
Jesus started and hugged the man, saying FATHER!
The old man screamed happily, PINOCCHIO!
Because when he announces it he's able to say that he's been Biden his time.....
I'm sorry
I at least hope they separate us by music genre.
"It's heart breaking to see their little faces with no hope", said Vladimir, aged 6.
I hope Internet Explorer sends this in time.
I hope ~~he~~ life also gives you water and sugar or else your lemonade's gonna suck.
"Leave!! Get out of this house!" she ordered.
As he was walking out the door she yelled, "I hope you die a slow and painful death!"
He turned around and replied "So, now you want me to stay?
A charitable man decided to visit a sick ward at a hospital to cheer up the patients. He took along a keyboard and played humorous songs and told jokes at many a bedside. After finishing his final performance for an old man he said, "I hope you get better." The old man smiled vaguely at the performer and replied, "I hope you do too."
Alabama needs a congressman who isn't afraid to get his hands on the issues before they get too big.
You never know how yours compares to others but you always hope it's a little bigger.
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
Yes, I know this is a 30+ year old joke, but hope it gave some people a chuckle
I just hope my wife is too when she finds out.
Every time someone tries to be Frank with me they tell me something I don't want to hear. He must be pretty unpleasant.
A woman goes to the doctors complaining of stomach cramps.
She gets sent off for some test and comes back a week later.
"Well, I hope you're ready for endless sleepless nights of crying and changing dirty diapers!" the doc says.
"Wow, you mean I'm pregnant?" the woman replies thrilled.
"No, you've got bowel cancer."
A blond is riding a horse, it starts galloping faster and faster. She feels herself beginning to lose her grip and start to slid down the the saddle. She begins panicking because the horse isn't slowing and shes nearing the ground. At the very last minute the Walmart greeter walks over and unplugs it.
A sudden desert storm had made a traveler lost his direction. The only thing he had was an apple. It was so precious, whenever he was thirsty or hungry, he would only look at the apple, then he would walk again full of hope.
Unfortunately, he still died in the desert. It was written on the police report: He would have walked out of the desert if he had had a Samsung or Nokia.
Little Kid: "Were almost home now they just have to park the plane."
His Dad: "Better hope they dont forget to put the parking brake on so we dont go back up."
I heard this on my plane ride and the Dad's family looked like they wanted to spit on him for his magnificent Dad joke.
I hope is john, he's really cute
One of them says, Hey, did you know 1 out of ever 4 guys is gay?
Larry says, I hope it's chuck because he's really cute.
I hope it doesn't run in the family because my dad has it.
This gives me hope for the next generation.
...so I broke a window, stole the radio, and left a note that said, "Hope this helps."
A woman goes to the doctor complaining of abdominal pains. After a series of tests, the doctor walks back in and says to the lady, "Well, hope you don't mind changing diapers!"
Stunned, she replies, "Oh my God I'm pregnant? I can't be pregnant!"
The doctor looks at her and says, "No, you have bowel cancer"
There's no easy way to know what caused it, so just ignore it and hope it goes away.
In Toronto I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that read:
"I miss South Africa."
So I broke the window, took the radio and left a note that read:
"I hope this helps."
We've already seen what one Fat Man can do to Japan.
Just a classical conditioner.
(I hope the name rings a bell)
Not screaming in terror, like his passengers
I hope he's pleased with his new, clear weapons.
Me and the wife had a big fight,she told me to leave the house. To spite her I went upstairs and packed my bags. As I was walking down the stairs, a suitcase in each hand, I see she's waiting for me at the foot of the stairs. When we're at eye level, she says to me. 'I hope you die a slow and painful death.' Looking into her eyes, I reply, "So, now you want me to stay?'
We need to keep all those crazy Americans contained.
I hope you have a long and miserable life.
Husband: Now I'm confused. Do you want me to stay or not?
We have collected gags and puns about Hope to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Hope? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Hope pick up lines to share with friends.