Hooves Jokes
9 hooves jokes and hilarious hooves puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hooves that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Hilarious Hooves Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
What is a good hooves joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
Because they.... lactose.....
Why do cows have hooves?
Because they lac tose
As a reward for winning a race, a young stallion was put in a compound with a beautiful female zebra.
As the next day dawned, the keeper ran to see how the stallion had made out and was chagrined to see him leaning up against a tree. His mane was disheveled, his body covered in welts from angry hooves, and he had two giant black eyes. Astounded, the keeper asked what had happened.
The stallion said, "I spent the whole night trying to take off her pajamas."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Camel Joke
A young camel asks his mother
Why do I have a big h**... on my back
The mother replies
You use it to store water when your in the desert
That's cool says the young camel And why do I have these big hooves
The mother answers Your hooves stop you from sinking in the quicksand when your in the desert
That's brilliant says the young camel Why do I have such long eyelashes
They stop sand from going into your eyes while wandering the desert his mother explains
The young camel pauses for a moment
Well, why am I in the zoo
Dog paws smell like Fritos. What to horse hooves smell like?
A broken nose.
My farmer friend claims one of his horses can do math using its hooves.
It is a stable genius.
How does a tauren hide in a cherry tree?
He paints his hooves red.
So the Lone Ranger and Tonto have been tasked with finding a herd of bison...
And they've been wandering about the plains for a while not finding much of anything, Tonto periodically sticking his ear to the ground to listen for the thundering of many hooves.
As Tonto is pressing his ear against the ground for the fourteenth time, the Lone Ranger spots a dark smudge on the horizon vaguely shaped like a large group of ungulates.
"Bison come," Tonto interrupts the Lone Ranger's day dreaming, his head snapping back to look at Tonto with wonderment.
"How can you tell? Is it the vibration of the ground from the herd over there?" He points.
"No." Tonto replies. "Ear sticky."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Rabbi and the Devil
So, one day, the devil visits a synagogue while all the folk are deep in the middle of whatever it is they do at synagogues.
Once the smoke and clamour clears, the devil steps forth, slicing the air his pitchfork, flashing eyes of fire. At the sight of him, hooves and all, all the men and women in attendance run screaming for their lives out of the synagogue, trailing their children behind them.
As pleased as the devil is with his grand appearance, he can't help but twist his head to look at the rabbi, who's calmly putting his things away for the night with a tired sigh.
"You," the devil says, pointing his spindly finger at him, "rabbi. Do you not know who I am?"
The rabbi only sighs and continues to clear up the place.
The devil steps closer to the man, scalding the floor with each step. "And yet you do not seem to be afraid, why is that?" he hisses, s**... his beard.
The rabbi shrugs. "Why should I be? I've been married to your sister these past forty-three years."
.
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Credit/Source: video I watched on youtube a while ago. I've probably added/cut-out from the original, but that's the charm of Chinese whispers, no?
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