Hoover Jokes

Following is our collection of funnies and chistes working better than reddit. They include Hoover puns, dirty or clean gags suitable for kids, that are actually fun like the best witze.

The Best jokes about Hoover

My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 15 hours to Hoover the house.

Turns out she was a Slovak.

What's the difference between a Harley Davidson and a Hoover vaccuum?

The position of the dirt bag.

The Priest who couldn't swear!

Father Murphy was playing golf with a parishioner. On the 1st hole, he sliced into the rough. His opponent heard him mutter, Hoover! under his breath.

On the 2nd hole, Father Murphy's ball went straight into a water hazard. Hoover! again, a little louder this time.

On the 3rd hole, a miracle occurred, and Father Murphy's drive landed on the green only six inches from the hole! Praise be to God!

He carefully lined up the putt, but the ball curved around the hole instead of going in. Hoover!
By this time, his opponent couldn't withhold his curiosity any longer, and asked why the priest said, Hoover.

It's the biggest dam I know.

I decided to sell my Hoover...

Well, it was just collecting dust.

"I've found your hamster," I told my daughter over the phone.

"You're a hero!" she screamed, "Thank you so much. Can you put him back in my cage for me?"

I said, "Of course. I just need to get him out of the hoover first though."

Whistleblower reveals that the government is concealing cracks in Hoover Dam.

FBI is still looking for the leak.

Two Russians..

..discussed who was the greater man, Comrade Stalin or President Hoover.

Hoover taught the Americans not to drink, says one.

Yes, replies the other, but Stalin taught the Russians not to eat.

Want to know why Herbert Hoover was my favorite president?

Because he actually gave a dam.

Who was the worst U.S. President of all time?

Hoover, his administration really sucked.

So I'm selling my hoover

It's just sitting around collecting dust.

Why couldn't the Buddhist hoover the corners of his house?

He had no attachments.

Some of the top jokes from this years Edinburgh Fringe Festival.

*I've decided to sell my hoover... well, it was just collecting dust. -Tim Vine


*I've written a joke about a fat badger, but I couldn't fit it into my set. -Masai Graham


*Always leave them wanting more, my uncle used to say to me. Which is why he lost his job in disaster relief. -Mark watson


*I Wanted to do a show about feminism. But my husband wouldn't let me. -Ria Lina

What's the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?

The location of the dirtbag.

I bought a Hoover the other day...

It sucks.

So I've been clearing out my attic...

... and I've decided to get rid of my hoover- it was just gathering dust.

What's the Difference between a Harley Davidson Motorcycle and a Hoover vacuum?

The Hoover vacuum only carries one dirt bag.

[Breaking] Muslim terrorists have crashed a speedboat full of explosives into the base of the Hoover Dam...

Police suspect this might be the first attack in a month long operation named Ramadam.

Free hoover

It's just collecting dust

My new girl friend.

Just got a new Czech girlfriend, but its taken her nearly 5 days to hoover the house. Turns out she's a Slovak.

Got the missus a new bag and belt for her birthday.

The Hoover works a treat now.

If you took every man who died while building the Hoover Dam and stood them one on top of the other...

... you'd get arrested.

Did you know that if you took all the men who died while constructing the Hoover Dam and stood them all on top of each other...

... you'd be arrested.

Son - Dad look at this article

Son - Dad look at this article "Man ran over by hoover"
Dad - What an idiot, did he Dyson?

I was watching a documentary on Chinese engineering.

They were discussing the Three Gorges Dam on the Yangtze River, the worlds largest hydroelectric dam.

My wife walks in and asks, Is that the Hoover Dam?

Me: No, it's the Three Gorges Dam in China.

Her: Oh, I guess all dams just look alike.

Me: Honey, don't be a dam racist!

I think I'm going to throw away my old Hoover.

It's just collecting dust anyway.

Why couldn't the Buddha hoover under the sofa?

Because he had no attachments

You know your doing bad with girls when...

You know your favourite hoover setting

I think I'm gonna sell my hoover

It's just collecting dust

I sold my Hoover

Well it was only collecting dust

I just got fired from my job at Dyson.

My design for a new hoover didn't work.

I don't know what their problem is, when they asked me to design it they told me, "just make sure it doesn't suck!"

Had to get rid of my Hoover due to lack of use

It was just sitting around collecting dust

I bought the wife a new bag for her birthday.....

Hoover works a treat now!

I believe Hoover was the only president to ever give a dam

Why was Herbert Hoover such a controversial president?

Because he never let the dust settle.

Have y'all heard 'bout the Hoover Crips?

They still Dyson with death.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends.

Joko Jokes