Hooks Jokes
39 hooks jokes and hilarious hooks puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hooks that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover the best jokes, jabs, and one-liners from the world of sport fishing! Whether you're looking for a sinking skyhook or a shoreline shover, this article has the perfect hooks for all your comedic needs. Get ready for a line-up of laughs you won't soon forget!
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Funniest Hooks Short Jokes
Short hooks jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hooks humour may include short wrapper jokes also.
- A lot of russian girls are trying to hook up with American guys online. But it's really just Putin trying to interfere with our erections.
- With the Zika virus and how much hooking up happens in the Olympic Village.. The Special Olympics are gonna be awesome in 12 to 14 years.
- Dr: "Mr Smith, your wife is comfortable." Husband: "I thought she was in a coma and critical condition."
Dr: "She is, the nurses are using her as a beanbag." - I hate double standards. When a guy hooks up with a lot of girls, he's a player … But when I do it, I'm a lesbian
- Why is peter pan always flying? He neverlands
I like this joke because it never grows old
This joke is off the hook
Sorry - I went to a party dressed as an egg and I hooked up with a guy dressed as a chicken.
I guess we have an answer to that age old question.
It was the chicken. - Pros of my high school years: I graduated top of my class, was voted prom king, and hooked up with the hottest girl in my grade. Cons of my high school years: my twin sister and I were homeschooled.
- My friend had a German plumber hook up his new shower.... I guess old habits die hard because he hooked up the gas line instead.
- An Irish guy in front of me said, "Whale-oil beef-hooked" I don't know what any of that has to do with forgetting your passport..
- What do you trust more than the government? The ads on Pornhub telling me girls within 3 miles of my location want to hook up.
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Hooks One Liners
Which hooks one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hooks? I can suggest the ones about trigger and hooking.
- I can make you speak Irish Say "Whale oil beef hooked" quickly
- I was hooked on auctions after only going once ... ...going twice…
- Where did Captain Hook get his hook ? The second-hand store.
- Why is pirating so addictive? Once you lose your first hand, you get hooked.
- What is Captain Hook's favorite kind of humor? Dead Pan.
- Where did Captain Hook buy his hook? From a second-hand store
- Why do pirates like to watch boxing? Because they can all appreciate a strong right hook.
- Why was the nun hooked up to an IV of holy water? She was taking god's name in vein.
- Why did the duck need to sell himself? He got hooked on the quack.
- (Star Wars) If Finn and Rey hooked up and had a child The child would definitely be on the dark side
- What do you call a 5 year-old with no friends? [offensive] A sandy hook survivor.
- Where do pirates get their hooks? At the second-hand store!
- Where do pirates buy their hook hands from? From a second hand shop.
- Where does Captain Hook buy his hooks? At the second hand store.
- How to curse like an Irishman "Whale oil beef hooked!"
Hilarious Fun Hooks Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter
What funny jokes about hooks you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean attachments jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hooks pranks.
A man goes to a store to buy groceries.
When he gets to the Butchery, he asks for three steaks.
The butcher asks if he'd like to play a game, after which the man replies that he would.
The butcher climbs a ladder up to the ceiling, easily 9 or 10 feet, and hangs them on hooks up there.
When he climbs down, the butcher says "If you can jump up and get all of your steaks in 3 tries, all of your groceries are free."
The man asks, "What's the catch?"
The butcher replies, "If you fail to get the steaks in three tries, you have to pay for your groceries and those of the man behind you in line."
After some consideration, the man replies "No."
The butcher asks, "Why not?"
The man simply replies "The stakes are too high."
Star Wars Joke...
If Finn hooks up with Rey...
He would be the first stormtrooper to hit something
After a night of drinking, John walks into a metal bar
The music was great and he hooks up with a beautiful blonde.
He awakes at the hospital with a mild concussion.
I just started a pirate themed band with my friends, but we're having trouble writing songs for it
All we seem to be able to write are the hooks
Classic Cajun joke my grandpa told me.
So Boudreaux and Thibodeaux are heading to the bayou to check the trot lines. Boudreaux hooks his truck to his boat trailer and connects the trailer lights.
He says, "Thibodeaux, Check to see if my brake lights are working!"
As Boudreaux presses the brakes, Thibodeaux says, "Yea, they workin!"
Boudreaux turns on the right blinker and says, "Alright how about my blinkers?"
Thibodeaux says, "Yes, no, yes, no, yes!"
An American man hooks up with a Japanese woman... [n**...]
An American man hooks up with a Japanese woman the night before a game of golf with a big Japanese client.
The woman is screaming with passion a specific word in Japanese that the man could tell was a great thing. He decides to try it out at golf.
Each time the big client sinks the ball, the man shouts his newly learned Japanese word. Finally, after the 9th hole, the big client asks the man:
"Why do you keep shouting wrong hole?'"
What's it called when a transgender person hooks up with an Asian?
A Trans Pacific Partnership
How does a pirate win boxing matches even when he has no hands?
Using only his left and right hooks
A stranger just said that his mother hooks up with all of his friends
I said that's rough but if he needed a friend to talk to I got him
It's always good to invest in grappling hooks
Their value is always going up
A golfer is playing a par 4 hole.
His first shot is right down the middle, but the second shot lands in a sand trap. He swings hard. The ball clears the trap but hooks badly. A famous rock group is walking by. The ball ricochets off the side of the head of m**... Jagger, killing him instantly. It bounces off the head of Keith Richards, killing him too, but then lands on the green and rolls into the cup.
Yep, you got it, he killed two Stones with one birdie.
A blonde hooks up with a guy at a bar having met earlier on Tinder.
Straight away, she starts flirting with him, subtly at first, but it quickly escalates.
"I don't usually get much response to my profile, why'd you pick me?" asks the guy.
"Well, in all honesty, I mostly use Tinder for s**...", claims the blonde, "You're cute and I like what you wrote in your profile about being a unique".
"Um... I'm a e**..."
Only When you perfect the art of fishing and baiting hooks..
Will you become a Master Baiter
My grandpa told me this one
Where do pirates get there hooks from...
The second hand store
When I always got frustrated fishing because my hooks kept getting cleaned off, my Dad would always tell me:
To become a master angler, you must first be a master baiter.
If a 92 year old woman hooks up with a seventy five year old man. She's no longer considered a couger. That's a saber tooth.
"Alright guys, we have lots of pictures to mount before the art gallery tonight. Like I said in the email, we'll have to use these adhesive hooks. Under no circumstances will you p**... the wall with nails or screws. Tim, I've noticed you've already hung one picture. Great job.
Tim (hiding his drill and muttering under his breath): welp.. I s**... that up.
Why was the beef scared?
Because it was on tender hooks.
Why didn't the fisherman make it as a rapper?
His lines were okay, but his hooks were debaitable.
What do you call an expert on fishing hooks and lures?
A master baiter
Gone Fishin'
Fred and DooDah go to their favorite lake to fish. After getting out on the water, DooDah hooks a huge fish, which pulls him overboard, and he drowns.
Fred is brokenhearted and goes to tell DooDah's wife the news. She opens the door and hears Fred say, "Guess who drowned in the lake today? DooDah! DooDah!"
