Honorable Jokes
35 honorable jokes and hilarious honorable puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about honorable that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Honorable Short Jokes
Short honorable jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The honorable humour may include short honour jokes also.
- The show COPS has been dropped from broadcast honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras.
- A man is on trial for cannibalism A man is on trial for cannibalism.
He says to the judge,
"Well, your honor, if you truly are what you eat, then I am an innocent man." - "Your honor, it is said that people are what they eat... And therefore my client is an innocent man!"
- In honor of his passing, my dad's favorite joke to tell waiters Waiter: "And to drink, sir?"
Dad: "I'll have a blind coke."
Waiter: "I'm sorry?"
Dad: "You know, a blind coke. No ice." - When I become a lawyer I want to defend a penguin. Just so I can say the words Your Honor, clearly my client is not a flight risk.
- Today, in honor of 4/20, I'm letting my entire custodial staff partake before they come to work. It's the only day I'll tolerate high maintenance people.
- A judge asked Shakira if she commited tax fraud. Shakira: "Of course not your Honor."
Shakiras Hips:"Of course we did your Honor." - What's this "✌"? A Roman ordering 5 more beers.
joke by Art Pozner. He told me I could take it with me, and in his honor, you can take it with you. - In honor of 3/14... TIL the man who discovered Pi had his wife, Edith, leave him over his obsession with math. Which just goes to show you, you can't have your Pi and Edith too.
- My ex-wife passed away so I went to the cemetery to honor her. I brought a 20 year old bottle of fine scotch and poured it over her grave But first I filtered it through my kidneys.
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Honorable One Liners
Which honorable one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with honorable? I can suggest the ones about honest and man of honor.
- In honor of Pi Day: Who founded the round table? Sir Cumference
- What's a straight-A student's favorite type of sushi? The Honor Roll.
- But your Honor, if you are what you eat Then i really am an innocent child
- How do single people honor valentine's day? By Celibating!
- Last week I fought for a woman's honor Apparently she wanted to keep it.
- What's better than honor? In her.
- White Nationalist should honor the true legacy Robert E. Lee And surrender.
- In honor of St. Patrick's Day... Three Irishmen walk out of a bar.
- A church sign says "Come Honor Faith"... Mike Tyson starts giggling.
- What does NASA stand for Need Another Seven Astronauts
- Le Pen honored an age old French tradition. Losing.
- In honor of Pi day I'm going to be irrational all day
- Confucius says: Woman who sleeps with judge..... receives honorable discharge
- What is one event the guest of honor is not expected to show up? A baby shower
- In honor of the upcoming Olympics: What is a gymnast's favorite spice? Somersalts
Humorous Honorable Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life
What funny jokes about honorable you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean respectable jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make honorable pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My dad just died. This isn't a joke, I'm lost. I remember at his dads f**... he told me:
Why do they put fences around cemetery's? Because people are dying to get in.
I told my daughters this joke years ago and told them it was from my dad. I want a joke that I can make at his f**... to my children in his honor. Can you help me out?
The judge asked the woman what she stole. She replied, I stole a can of peaches.
The judge then asked, how many peaches were in the can?
Six, replied the woman.
After consideration, the judge decided to sentence her one night of prison for every peach she stole. Six nights total.
At this moment the woman felt helpless, bawling her eyes out, she didn't know what to do.
And before the judge smacked the mallet down to make it final, her husband entered into the courtroom and yelled, your honor, wait!
The judge froze and listened to what the husband wanted to say.
She also stole a can of peas!
Dear Dad, $chool i$ great. I'm making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying hard. I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you. Love, Your $on
Dear Son,
I kNOw astroNOmy, ecoNOmics and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love, Dad
The new father
A proud new father sits down with his dad to have a drink.
"Well son, now that you have a son of your own its time I gave you something."
"Dad you dont mea-"
"Yes I do. You've earned it." Says the father as he passes a copy of '1001 Dad Jokes 5th Edition' to the son.
"Dad I dont know what to say...I'm honored."
"Hi honored," Replies the father. "I'm dad."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My ex wife died so I went to the cemetery and to honor her, I poured a fine, 12 year old bottle of scotch on her grave.
But first I filtered it through my kidneys.
"Mr. Smith, I have reviewed this case very carefully,"
...and I've decided to give your wife $275 a week," said the divorce court judge.
"That's very fair, your honor," the husband replied, "and every now and then I'll try and send her a few bucks myself."
3 frogs get arrested
The first frog goes in and the judge asks him, "What's your name?" "Frog," he replies. "What did you do?" "I was just blowing bubbles in the pond, your honor." With that, the judge lets him go.
The second frog goes in. "What's your name?" asks the judge. "Frog Frog." "What were you doing?" "I was just blowing bubbles in the pond, sir." With that, the judge lets him go.
The third frog comes in. The judge says, "Let me guess, your name is Frog Frog Frog."
The frog says, "No, my name's Bubbles."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A wealthy billionaire dies, and his final wish is to be buried with his money.
So, at the f**... reception, the widow is speaking with guests when the matter of the billionaire's last wish comes up. The widow confirms that she honored her late husband's request.
A friend says to the widow, "You really buried him with billions of dollars?!", and the widow replies, "Of course, I wrote him a check."
A little old lady gets arrested for stealing a can of peaches from a grocery store.
At the trial, the judge asks her why she stole a can of peaches. She replies, "Your Honor, my husband and I don't have much, and we are very poor. I was simply trying to do something about my hunger."
The judge, feeling sorry for the old lady, asked, "How many peaches were in the can?"
"6," the old lady responded.
"Then," the judge said, "you will spend one day in jail for each peach, for a total of 6 days."
"Your Honor," spoke her husband, "she also stole a can of peas!"
In honor of the Powerball
A man comes home one day and says, "Guess what honey? Pack your bags, I won the lottery!" The wife squeals with delight and says, "That's great! Should I pack for the mountains or the beach?" He says, "I don't care, just get out!"
