Honorable Jokes
35 honorable jokes and hilarious honorable puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about honorable that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Honorable Short Jokes
Short honorable jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The honorable humour may include short honour jokes also.
- The show COPS has been dropped from broadcast honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras.
- A man is on trial for cannibalism A man is on trial for cannibalism.
He says to the judge,
"Well, your honor, if you truly are what you eat, then I am an innocent man." - "Your honor, it is said that people are what they eat... And therefore my client is an innocent man!"
- My ex wife died so I went to the cemetery and to honor her, I poured a fine, 12 year old bottle of scotch on her grave. But first I filtered it through my kidneys.
- In honor of his passing, my dad's favorite joke to tell waiters Waiter: "And to drink, sir?"
Dad: "I'll have a blind coke."
Waiter: "I'm sorry?"
Dad: "You know, a blind coke. No ice." - The show "COPS" is no longer filmed honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras
- When I become a lawyer I want to defend a penguin. Just so I can say the words Your Honor, clearly my client is not a flight risk.
- Today, in honor of 4/20, I'm letting my entire custodial staff partake before they come to work. It's the only day I'll tolerate high maintenance people.
- Your honor, I have one last thing to say: If you are what you eat, then I am an innocent man.
- A judge asked Shakira if she commited tax fraud. Shakira: "Of course not your Honor."
Shakiras Hips:"Of course we did your Honor."
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Honorable One Liners
Which honorable one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with honorable? I can suggest the ones about honest and man of honor.
- In honor of Pi Day: Who founded the round table? Sir Cumference
- " Your honor, if you are what you eat then My client is an innocent man".
- What do you call a lawyer with an I.Q. below 69? Your Honor.
- What's a straight-A student's favorite type of sushi? The Honor Roll.
- But your Honor, if you are what you eat Then i really am an innocent child
- What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50? Your Honor.
- How do single people honor valentine's day? By Celibating!
- Last week I fought for a woman's honor Apparently she wanted to keep it.
- What's better than honor? In her.
- White Nationalist should honor the true legacy Robert E. Lee And surrender.
- In honor of St. Patrick's Day... Three Irishmen walk out of a bar.
- A church sign says "Come Honor Faith"... Mike Tyson starts giggling.
- What does NASA stand for Need Another Seven Astronauts
- Why do pirates have trouble learning the alphabet? Because they spend years at Sea!
- Le Pen honored an age old French tradition. Losing.
Humorous Honorable Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life
What funny jokes about honorable you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean respectable jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make honorable pranks.
My dad just died. This isn't a joke, I'm lost. I remember at his dads f**... he told me:
Why do they put fences around cemetery's? Because people are dying to get in.
I told my daughters this joke years ago and told them it was from my dad. I want a joke that I can make at his f**... to my children in his honor. Can you help me out?
The judge asked the woman what she stole. She replied, I stole a can of peaches.
The judge then asked, how many peaches were in the can?
Six, replied the woman.
After consideration, the judge decided to sentence her one night of prison for every peach she stole. Six nights total.
At this moment the woman felt helpless, bawling her eyes out, she didn't know what to do.
And before the judge smacked the mallet down to make it final, her husband entered into the courtroom and yelled, your honor, wait!
The judge froze and listened to what the husband wanted to say.
She also stole a can of peas!
Dear Dad, $chool i$ great. I'm making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying hard. I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you. Love, Your $on
Dear Son,
I kNOw astroNOmy, ecoNOmics and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love, Dad
The new father
A proud new father sits down with his dad to have a drink.
"Well son, now that you have a son of your own its time I gave you something."
"Dad you dont mea-"
"Yes I do. You've earned it." Says the father as he passes a copy of '1001 Dad Jokes 5th Edition' to the son.
"Dad I dont know what to say...I'm honored."
"Hi honored," Replies the father. "I'm dad."
Joke in honor of mole day
Three moles are going through the ground looking for food.
The first mole pops up out of the ground and sniffs around.
He says "hey guys I think were getting close I smell some syrup".
The next mole pops up and says "ya we must be a smell some syrup too".
The last mole pops up and says "I don't know guys all I smell is some molasses"
"Mr. Smith, I have reviewed this case very carefully,"
...and I've decided to give your wife $275 a week," said the divorce court judge.
"That's very fair, your honor," the husband replied, "and every now and then I'll try and send her a few bucks myself."
What's this "✌"?
A Roman ordering 5 more beers.
joke by Art Pozner. He told me I could take it with me, and in his honor, you can take it with you.
In honor of 3/14... TIL the man who discovered Pi had his wife, Edith, leave him over his obsession with math.
Which just goes to show you, you can't have your Pi and Edith too.
My ex-wife passed away so I went to the cemetery to honor her. I brought a 20 year old bottle of fine scotch and poured it over her grave
But first I filtered it through my kidneys.
3 frogs get arrested
The first frog goes in and the judge asks him, "What's your name?" "Frog," he replies. "What did you do?" "I was just blowing bubbles in the pond, your honor." With that, the judge lets him go.
The second frog goes in. "What's your name?" asks the judge. "Frog Frog." "What were you doing?" "I was just blowing bubbles in the pond, sir." With that, the judge lets him go.
The third frog comes in. The judge says, "Let me guess, your name is Frog Frog Frog."
The frog says, "No, my name's Bubbles."
