Hono Jokes
66 hono jokes and hilarious hono puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hono that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Entertaining Hono Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone
What is a good hono joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
In honor of Lent . . .
It was a young couple's wedding night and as the night wore on the bride grew more and more anxious to consumate their marriage. Finally she said, "Um, honey? It's getting late and aren't we going to - well - do it?" "I can't," said her husband, "it's Lent." "It's lent?!" she exclaimed. "That's ridiculous! To who and for how long?"
In honor of St. Patrick's Day...
Three Irishmen walk out of a bar.
In honor of the Vikings/Packers game on Saturday...
How can you tell if a Packers fan is mad at you?
They grit their tooth at you.
Let me tell you about Honor...
If you can't come inher, come onher.
(my roommate says this all the time. it might be something you have to hear out loud...)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Honor Guard bagpiper
As an Honor Guard bagpiper, I play many gigs for other people. Recently I was asked by a f**... director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a county cemetery in the back country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions.
I finally arrived an hour late and saw the f**... guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch.
I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play.
The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I've never played before for this homeless man.
And as I played 'Amazing Grace,' the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.
As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, I never seen nothin' like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.
Apparently, I'm still lost… It's a man thing.
In honor of 3/14... TIL the man who discovered Pi had his wife, Edith, leave him over his obsession with math.
Which just goes to show you, you can't have your Pi and Edith too.
In honor of today's date (May the 4th be with you) I came up with a Star Wars joke
Did you hear about the new Jedi beer?
It's Force Ale.
What's better than honor?
In her.
In honor of The Walking Dead returning, What do zombie cows crave?
Graaaains! GRAAAAINS!
[Also, I like to think it's zombie cows who are keeping the grass so nicely trimmed in The Walking Dead universe]
In honor of The Challenger disaster: proof that I have no soul.
How do we know Christa McAuliffe had dandruff?
Her head and shoulders washed up on the shore.
It was said that Christa's pupils were hit the hardest... by the instrument panel.
As she left for work that day she said to her husband "you feed the dog, i'll feed the fish."
How do you know her eyes were blue?
One blew one way the other blew another way.
Christa used to teach Social Studies ...now she's History
What does NASA stand for? Need another seven astronauts.
In honour of today: Christa McAuliffe's last words.
"Hey Captain, what does this button do?"
In honor of To Set A Watchmen coming out soon, what would Harper Lee's book be called if she was Mexican?
Tequila Mockingbird.
In honor of Pi Day: Who founded the round table?
Sir Cumference
In honour of St Patrick's day, can you guess my Irish name?
Pat MiGroin.
Yeah, my grandpa just told me that one...some visual images cannot be unseen.
In honor of Mother's day yesterday, did anyone here play jokes on their mom instead of give gifts?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
But, your honor...
she told me she s**... it!
In honor of my cakeday...
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake?
"What's eating you?"
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor?
Because it was feeling crumby!
In honor of his passing, my dad's favorite joke to tell waiters
Waiter: "And to drink, sir?"
Dad: "I'll have a blind coke."
Waiter: "I'm sorry?"
Dad: "You know, a blind coke. No ice."
Your honor, it was just a case of mistaken identity.
I mistook the DEA agent for someone who might appreciate some quality drugs.
In honor of the Powerball
A man comes home one day and says, "Guess what honey? Pack your bags, I won the lottery!" The wife squeals with delight and says, "That's great! Should I pack for the mountains or the beach?" He says, "I don't care, just get out!"
In honor of the Democratic presidential candidate debate last night ...
... SpaceX decided to demonstrate that they too are feeling the bern.
What does NASA stand for
Need Another Seven Astronauts
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