Honesty Jokes
31 honesty jokes and hilarious honesty puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about honesty that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a laugh? Check out our collection of honesty jokes. From clean knock-knock jokes and the top corny jokes to hilarious one-liners and clever riddles, we've got the jokes guaranteed to bring on the laughs.
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Funniest Honesty Short Jokes
Short honesty jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The honesty humour may include short good honest jokes also.
- What's the difference between the lost city of Atlantis and Florida? About 3 days
In all honesty though, my thoughts and good wishes go out to the people of Florida, - jim I've decided to no longer refer to the bathroom as "the john". Instead I will call it "the jim". That way, I can say in all honesty that I went to the jim this morning.
- I was recently informed that I am a terrible host. I appreciated their honesty because otherwise I never would have guest.
- Best Of Both Worlds Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- Honesty is the best policy But by process of elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. Keep that in mind.
- Interviewer: So what would you say is your greatest weakness? Guy: I'd have to say my honesty
Interviewer: Well that doesn't sound like a weakness
Guy: Honestly, I don't care what you think - My wife had a dream that I cheated on her. Now I can say with complete honesty that I made her wildest dreams come true.
- Futons are really uncomfortable, but I love them for their honesty. They have F U right in the name.
- Did you hear? The invisible man and the invisible woman just had a son. In all honesty, he's not much to look at
- In all honesty, we should have known this year was a bad one... ...because hindsight is 2020.
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Honesty One Liners
Which honesty one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with honesty? I can suggest the ones about dishonest and integrity.
- Today my boyfriend told me that honesty is a major turn on for him Big if true.
- Honesty is the key to a good relationship. If you can fake that, you're in.
- Honesty Wife : " ..but I always tell you the truth after I lie."
- Honesty is the best policy but insanity is the best defense.
- Q: What is height of Honesty?
A: A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket. - What do you call a drink made out of the truth? Honesty.
- What's my companies policy? \- O ! We've got the best policy.
\- What?
\- Honesty. - Beetroot: Honesty in a Jamaican apiary.
- Honesty is the best policy... Not quite if you're an insurance agent.
- In all honesty I feel sorry for pedalophiles... I mean they're just boats...
Amusing Honesty Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends
What funny jokes about honesty you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean honest politician jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make honesty pranks.
During an interview the potential employer asked the young man What you consider to be your greatest weakness"?
The job applicant replied Honesty.
The interviewer commented "Honesty? I don't think honesty is a weakness.
The young man replied I don't care what you think!
The doctor gave me a Rorschach test and asked, "what do you see?"
I answered, "I see an old, sad, overworked man, tired of doing the same thing over and over, only visited when others need something from him, and never being appreciated enough".
"I appreciate your honesty", said the doctor, "but I meant, what do you see *on the picture*?
Interview Gone Wild
A man was interviewing for a job.
Interviewer: What's your biggest weakness?
Man: Honesty
Interviewer: I don't think honesty is a weakness
Man: I really don't care what you think
A flat Earther goes to heaven.
A flat Earther dies while trying to fly in a homemade rocket and goes to heaven. There he meets up with God and says, "Oh Supreme Lord!! Tell me with utmost honesty. Is Earth round or flat ? "
God replies, "It is round, my dear child."
The flat earther thinks, " Wow ! This whole thing goes much higher than I thought."
And what do you think is your worst quality asks the job interviewer?
Honesty, answers the guy
Well, i don't think that honesty is that bad chuckles the interviewer..
I don't really give a f what you think…
A priest was preaching one Sunday.
"The sermon that I'm going to preach today is about honesty"
Everyone nodded.
"Before I begin, I would like all those who have read Matthew chapter 29 verse 15 to raise their hands"
More than half the people raised their hand.
"That is very unfortunate to see as there is only 28 chapters in the book of Matthew"
A man was praying to god for money and fame.
Another one comes and sneers at him, 'i always pray for honesty, modesty and other noble qualities in life'.
The man says 'very well mister, one always asks for the things they don't have!'
A man is having an interview at one company
The interview is going quite well, the man is answering the company's CEO questions without any bigger effort. Suddenly, the CEO asks:
- 'what do you think is your biggest weakness?'
- 'Honesty' said the man
- 'Oh! I don't think honesty is a weakness at all' replied the CEO
- 'Listen, I simply don't give a f**k about what you think'
Interviewer: what is your biggest weakness?
me: my weakness is honesty
Interviewer: I don't think honesty is a weakness
me: honestly, I don't give a d**... about what you think.
Interview: "What is your biggest weakness"
Guy: "Honesty"
Interviewer: "I don't believe honesty is a weakness"
Guy: "I don't give a f*** about what you believe"
A blonde hooks up with a guy at a bar having met earlier on Tinder.
Straight away, she starts flirting with him, subtly at first, but it quickly escalates.
"I don't usually get much response to my profile, why'd you pick me?" asks the guy.
"Well, in all honesty, I mostly use Tinder for s**...", claims the blonde, "You're cute and I like what you wrote in your profile about being a unique".
"Um... I'm a e**..."
My parents always say honesty is the best policy. So I told my my mum I was going clubbing with friends last night.
I don't get why she's so upset with me, we only bludgeoned the o**... before the cops came.
A man orders a coffee in a cafe.
When it arrives, he drinks and promptly spits out his first sip.
'Waiter!' he calls,'this coffee tastes like it's a day old.'
'Thank you sir,' is the reply,'it's yesterdays coffee.'
The man gives the coffee back to the waiter and says: 'thank you for your honesty. I'd really like to drink today's coffee.'
Taking the coffee, the waiter says: 'we open at 10AM tomorrow, you're welcome to drop by then!'
Honesty Is Not Always the Best Policy (real news)
A Florida man arrested for speeding and DUI admitted to police that prior to getting in his car he'd been drinking beer and watching "The Fast & the Furious." Although, he admitted his favorite movie is "Dumb and Dumber."
