Honest John Jokes
10 honest john jokes and hilarious honest john puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about honest john that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Share These Honest John Jokes With Friends
Honest John Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good honest john joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A young lady sitting alone in a restaurant when maitre'd approaches with a presentable looking gentlemen
\- I am sorry. We are overbooked, but i see you have a sit available at your table. Would you mind if this gentlemen shares a table with you?
She agrees. And before taking his sit the gentlemen introduces himself.
\- Hello, My name is John Smith. I am a politician, but I want to let you know that I am a honest person.
She says:
\- It's a pleasure to meet you. My name is Natasha, I am a high-priced p**..., but i want to let you know that i am a v**....
Jewish Judge
Taking his seat in his chambers, the smart, HONEST Jewish Judge faced the opposing lawyers.
"So, the Judge said, I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe."
Both lawyers became uncomfortable.
" You, attorney John, gave me $ 50,000 and you, attorney Sam, gave me $ 60,000."
The judge now reached into his pocket and pulled out $ 10,000, He handed it to attorney Sam and said...
"Now that I'm returning $ 10,000, we're going to decide this case solely on its merits.
A man is walking through a cemetery
when he sees a headstone that reads, "Here lies John, an honest man and a lawyer."
"How about that," he thinks. "Three men buried in one grave!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Farmer Joe decides to go down the road to visit his friend Eb.
When he arrives at Eb's farm he hears music coming from Eb's barn.
Going to take a look Joe finds Eb dancing n**... around his John Deer!
Taking a step back Joe asks Eb what the heck he's doing?
Eb explains, "Well to be honest me and my woman's been having problems in the bedroom, so we went to see a s**... therapist. I'm just doing what she suggested."
"Do something s**... to a tractor!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Silly Grandad
Johns Grandad comes over to look after him for the day. John goes outside and plays with the neighbors kid, a bit later he comes in and asks "Grandad, whats it called when two people sleep in one room one on top of the other?" Grandad replies "I've got to be honest with you, you are 8 now, its called i**... and thats how you make babys." ten minutes later John returns "Freds mum said its called bunkbeds, and she needs a word with you"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
All this talk about John Cena
I have heard so much about how much of a 'hard man' John Cena is! Honestly if he's so hard, why doesn't he come smash my head on this keyboarddhjfiefkejfjl
A man visiting a graveyard saw a tombstone that read: "Here lies John Smith, a lawyer and an honest man."
"How about that!" he exclaimed. "They've got three people buried in one grave."
General Mathis served in the marines for 44 years and John Dowd was a JAG for a few years
# Jagass !!
*(No offence to the honest, decent JAGS and this is from a post I saw on fox forums)*
John was talking to his fiance, Rebecca.
He said, "Be honest now, baby, how am I as a lover?" To which she replied, "Honey, I would definitely say that you're warm." "Really?" he asked excitedly. "Yes, in fact I would say that you're the dictionary definition of the word 'warm.'" John was pleased until he went home and just for fun, checked his dictionary and found, "WARM: Not so hot."
Classic joke for our Muslim friends today
There were two white christian men, John and Mike, whose plane crashed into a desert. Luckily they survived unharmed. As they traveled through the hot desert looking for food and water, they gave up and sat down, thinking of what to do.
As the dust in the air settled, they suddenly could view a mosque ahead. They became very hopeful. But then John said ''Muslims are there. They might help us if we say we are Muslim.'' Then Mike said ''No way, I won't say I'm Muslim, I'm gonna be honest''.
So John and Mike went to the Mosque ahead and were greeted by an Arab Muslim, who asked what their names were.
John thought of a Muslim name and said, 'My name is Muhammad'. And Mike said 'My name is Mike'.
The Arab man said 'Hello Mike.' And told these other men to take Mike and give him food and drink.
Then he turned to John and said, 'Salaam Muhammad. Ramadan Mubarak! (Hello Muhammad, Happy Ramadan)
Share These Honest John Jokes With Friends