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Honda Civic Jokes

14 honda civic jokes and hilarious honda civic puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about honda civic that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Honda Civic Short Jokes

Short honda civic jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The honda civic humour may include short honda accord jokes also.

  1. I am thinking of buying a Honda directly from Japan and pay all the necessary tariffs. It'll be my Civic duty.
  2. I use to own a Pontiac Trans Am, then I got a Honda Civic, and now I have a toyota Prius That is my Auto-biography.
  3. Did you hear about the Honda employee who was found not guilty? It was the judge's Civic duty to let him leave on his own Accord
  4. What's the difference between my Honda Civic and OP's mum? The car can only fit three in the back

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Honda Civic One Liners

Which honda civic one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with honda civic? I can suggest the ones about civic and japanese car.

  1. What is it called when a politician craps his pants in a Honda? Civic doody.
  2. My mayor claims he's a Honda dealer... He calls his dealership the Civic Centre
  3. What is the car that can behave? Honda Civic

Honda Civic Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about honda civic you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean car engine jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make honda civic pranks.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

My girlfriend tried to make me have s**... on the hood of her Honda Civic

I refused. If I'm going to have s**..., its going to be on my own Accord

A Texas Salesman

A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to a big department store looking for a job.
The manager asks him, "Do you have any sales experience?"
"Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Texas."
Well, the boss liked the kid, so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."
His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many sales did you make today?"
"One."
"Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for?"
"$79,237.64."
His boss is astounded. "$79,237.64? What did you sell him?"
"Well, first I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing, and he said down at the coast, so I told him he was gonna need a boat, so we went down to the boat department, and I sold him that twin engine SeaRay. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4X4 Suburban."
The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and truck?"
The young man replied, "No, he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Well, since your weekend's shot, you might as well go fishing.'"

Three men die and go to heaven.

At the pearly gates, St. Peter tells them that he will ask each of them a question and that their answer will determine how they will get around in heaven.
He asks the first man, Have you ever cheated on your wife? The man answers, No, never! St. Peter says, Good man, I will give you a Ferrari for your loyalty.
St. Peter then asks the second man, Have you ever cheated on your wife? The man answers, I did once and regret it to this day! St. Peter says, I hear your regret. Take this Honda Civic.
St. Peter then asks the third man, Have you ever cheated on your wife? The man answers, Many times. What can I say, I just love women! St. Peter says, You are honest. Take this scooter. At least you won't have to walk.
So the third man is riding around on his scooter when he sees the first man's Ferrari pulled over to the side of the road. He sees the man, crying, and asks, What's wrong?
The first man replies, I just saw my wife on a bicycle.

A New Salesman

A young guy from N. J. moves to Fla. He goes to a big "everything under one roof" store looking for a sales job.
The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?"
The kid says, "Yeah. I was a salesman back in New Jersey."
Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."
His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it.
After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many customers bought something from you today?"
The kid says, "One."
The boss says, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?"
The kid says "$101,237.65."
The boss says "$101,237.65? What the heck did you sell?"
The kid says, "First, I sold him a small fishhook. Then I sold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook.
"Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast,
"So I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft."
"Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition."
The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fishhook, and you sold him a BOAT AND a TRUCK?!"
The kid said, "No, the guy came in here to buy Tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing.'"