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Homework Jokes

152 homework jokes and hilarious homework puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about homework that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Having trouble staying motivated for homework? Check out these hilarious jokes about no homework, math homework, assignments, errands and paperwork. Need help getting your work done? Let these amusing jokes be the light in your tunnel of homework.

Best Short Homework Jokes

Short homework jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The homework humour may include short home work jokes also.

  1. My ADD always beats me when I'm trying to do my homework. The dyslexia doesn't help either.
  2. Father: When Abe Lincoln was your age he walked 9 miles to school and did homework by candlelight. Son: When Lincoln was your age he was President.
  3. My mom said that if I don't get off my computer and do my homework, she's gonna slam my head on the keyboard. But I don't give a fuskhhkxkhdkhhskhd
  4. Why did the kid eat his homework? Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.
    -My 6 year old Nephew
  5. My son looked up from his homework and asked me, "Dad, what's an acorn?" I smiled and explained... "Well, in a nutshell, it's an oak tree!"
  6. My mom said that if I don't get off the computer and do my homework she'll slam my head into the keyboard, but I think she's jokinfreoiwjr67uiwosi94ckcjfkdald87lakdofasdkfj
  7. how do you know asians have broken into your home? the dog is gone, the homework is done and they're still trying to get out of the driveway
  8. My daughter came home from school yesterday and told us this joke: What do you get from a fat cow? Homework.
  9. The student and the teacher. JACK: "Would you punish me for something I didn't do?"
    TEACHER:" Of course not. "
    JACK: "Good, because I haven't done my homework ...."
  10. For my chemistry homework, I was supposed to write a thousand words on acid. I tried, but my pen turned into a rainbow-coloured giraffe and then the desk melted.

Quick Jump To


Homework joke, For my chemistry homework, I was supposed to write a thousand words on acid.


Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about homework can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of homework puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Homework One Liners

Which homework one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with homework? I can suggest the ones about school work and housework.

  1. Why are Chinese kids so good at math? Because their dog doesn't eat their homework
  2. Why are Asians so good at Math? Their dogs can't eat their homework.
  3. What did the Mexican say when his homework flew out the window? Where you going essay!?
  4. H.o.m.e.w.o.r.k Half of my energy wasted on random knowledge
  5. Can teachers give homeless kids... ... homework?
  6. Are you my homework? Because I wanna slam you on my desk and do you all night.
  7. I asked a friend if I could copy his calculus homework He told me to know my limits
  8. Why did the student eat his homework? Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake.
  9. What is an extreme sport? Doing your homework while your teacher is collecting it.
  10. I always put my glasses on when doing Math homework. It improves division
  11. Why did my brother eat his homework? Because my mother told him it was a piece of cake.
  12. What's long, hard, and scary when you first see it? Calculus homework.
  13. I'll do you like I do my homework... For two minutes.
  14. What is thin, white, and scary? Homework.
  15. I got a paper cut from my Statistics homework. What are the odds?

No Homework Jokes

Here is a list of funny no homework jokes and even better no homework puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • For cookery class, our homework was to bake something. I said I'd bake dog biscuits.
    No idea how to, but i have a great excuse when i don't hand in my homework.
  • Russia's Three Steps to Homework Step 1. Putin it off
    Step 2. Stalin
    Step 3. Russian to finish
  • What did the Mexican say when a gust of wind blew his homework out the window? Come back essay!
  • Teacher: did your father help you with your homework? Student: no he did it all by himself
  • Are you my homework? Because I want to slam you down on my desk. Try to do you for 5 minutes, give up, cry, and have my dad do you for me.
  • Why did Johnny fail his programming class? His mom kept telling him to do his homework, "No ifs, ands, or buts!"
  • My daughter is making graphs for her math homework. Awfully suspicious... Pretty sure she's plotting something.
  • A teacher asks her student Teacher: What does a Bee gives us?
    Student: Honey
    Teacher: What does a cow gives us?
    Student: Milk
    Teacher: What does a fat pig gives us?
    Student: Homework
  • How do you know if an Asian person has robbed your house? When you come home, your math homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and they're still trying to back out of the driveway.
  • My teacher took off points when I spilled my juice on my Calculus homework... ... Apparently, I shouldn't drink and derive.

Math Homework Jokes

Here is a list of funny math homework jokes and even better math homework puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Math Teacher: Your homework looks like chicken scratch, but you have all the correct answers Later at Home: I think she's on to us, mathmachicken
  • I was so busy with maths homework that I didn't brush my teeth for a week The calculus had built up, and it was starting to get quite hard.
  • My son asked if I could help him with his math homework. He said "Do I know the square root of minus 1?" I said "aye"
  • My friend asked me to assist him with his math homework. I should probably help him before he stops *counting* on me.
  • How do you know you've been burgled by asians? You come home to find your math homework was done, your computer was upgraded, and they're still trying to back down the driveway.
  • Hey girl, are you my math homework? Because I want to do you on the table
  • I mailed my maths homework to Barack Obama, Vladimir Putin and Queen Elizabeth II ...it said to give my answers to 3 significant figures.
  • I'll do you like my math homework Slam you on the table, try to do you, but give up and pay someone to finish you
  • Why did Obi-wan not do his math homework? Because only a Sith deals in absolutes.
  • A math tutor agrees to help a hot student with her homework. His friends upon hearing this ask him if he made it to 3rd base with her. The math tutor replies "no. I made it to base 10."

Homework Assignment Jokes

Here is a list of funny homework assignment jokes and even better homework assignment puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • How did the deaf teacher give his deaf students their homework instructions? He assigned it
  • Why don't I lose homework assignments? Because I protect my packets with SSL.
Homework joke, Why don't I lose homework assignments?

Humorous Homework Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life

What funny jokes about homework you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean research paper jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make homework prank.

Q: Why did the school kids eat their homework?
A: Because their teacher told them it was a piece of cake.

An escalating series of math jokes

Me: Roses are red. Violets are blue. Math is hard, and so I am.
Her: I wish you were my differential equations homework... because if you were, you would be hard and I would be doing you on my desk.
Me: Well, I'm awfully glad you're not *my* differential equations homework... because if you were, you would be 6 weeks late.

Meanie-Pie Girl

I was working on a large amount of math homework in a group today, and one of the female participants was being prissy and in general a nuisance. So I patted her on the head. She says, 'Did you just pat me on the head?' So I say, "Yes, you were being mean so I was de-meaning you."

Theory vs Reality

Little Billy had a homework assignment to compare theory and reality. The boy asked his father what the difference was between theory and reality. His father told him, 'Go ask your mother if she would have s**... with the mailman for a million dollars.' The boy asks his mother and she says she would. Billy tells his father she would have s**... with the mailman for million dollars.
The father then tells the boy, 'Now go as your sister if she would have s**... with the mailman for a million dollars.' The boy asks his sister and she to says she would have s**... with the mailman.
Little Billy goes and tells his father both his mom and his sister would have s**... with the mailman and his father says, "Well son, in theory we're multimillionaires, but in reality we live with a couple of w**....

You know what bothers me about arson?

He's never doing his homework.
Yarr.

My Indian engineering teacher told us this today

Growing up in America, you've probably heard your parents say, "Eat your food, there are starving children in India." But I tell my children, "Do your math homework or an Indian child will eat your food."

What did phenolphthalein do when he couldn't understand his Chemistry homework?

He just added Acetic Acid until it became clear.

Joke I came up with when I was ten

So a student walks into his classroom early and approaches the teacher.
He says: "I just wanted to tell you that I couldn't do my homework last night"
The teacher asks: "Why not?"
The students replies: "Because I ran out"
Teacher: "Of notebook paper?"
Student: "No, of toilet paper"
Teacher: "What does that have to do with anything?"
Student: "I had to improvise"
It's a really bad joke but I remember my parents thought it was funny.

So i met a h**... today who said she would do anything for five bucks

Guess who got their homework done!

My friend is a prison warden currently doing sensitivity training. His homework entails "What would you do if you saw two curious inmates indulging in i**...? "

I said "Why can't we just let bi-cons be bi-cons?!"

"I'm gonna treat you like I treat my homework"

"Oh, you're going to slam me on your desk and do me all night?"
"No, I'm going to stare at you and think there's so many better things I could be doing..."

A teacher is teaching.

Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
(sorry for the TERRIBLE title)

An elementary teacher is talking about animals to her students...

Teacher: What does the chicken give you?
Kids: Meat!
Teacher: Very good. What does the pig give you?
Kids: Meat!
Teacher: Great! What does the cow give you?
Kids: Homework!

and the kid got kicked out of class...

Student: Teacher, can I get in trouble for something I didnt do?
Teacher: of course not, John. That would be silly.
Student: Okay good, because I didn't do my homework!

Fat cow

Teacher is teaching kids
Teacher: what does the chicken give you?
Student: meat!
Teacher: what does the pig give you?
Student: bacon!
Teacher: what does the fat cow give you?
Student: HOMEWORK!!

Found my son and his girlfriend n**... in his room.

And I was like "*s**...-education* is so advanced now that they also give homework!"

A student walks up to his teacher...

-Student: "Miss, would you blame someone for something that they didn't do?"
-Teacher: "No of course not. I would never do that."
-Student: "Good, because I didn't do my homework."

What does the fat cow give you?

Teacher: "Kids,what does the little chicken give you?"
Student: "Eggs!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the squealy pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

A kindergarten teacher asks her students what animals provide us...

She said, "What does a chicken give us?" and the students replied, "Eggs". She then asked, "What does a pig give us?" and the students replied a joyous "Bacon". Finally she asked "What does a cow give us?" and before anyone could answer little Johnny said "Homework".
Joke provided by my ten year old son.

A blonde was lying in the grass...

One afternoon, a college student is walking across the Green and sees a pretty blonde lying in the grass staring up at the clear blue sky.
"Getting a tan?" he asks.
"No! Do you think that just because I'm blonde I'm focussing on my looks? I'm actually a very good student and right now I'm getting a head start on my homework!"
"Oh, I'm sorry. What class is it for?"
"Astronomy!"

Q:Why Do Russian Students Always Turn in Their Homework Late?

**A:Because, all they ever learn about is Stalin.**
Q: What did the student's get as a result of never turning in their homework on time?
**A: Bad Marx.**

What's a sharks favorite game?

s**... the leader.
*This joke has been brought to you by my 8 year old's math homework.*

Why did jimmy eat his Homework?

Because the previous day, the teacher told her students; "Don't worry guys, it's gonna be a piece of cake".

Funny Comeback

Teacher: where is your homework?
Kid: at home.
Teacher: why is it at home?
Kid: it's called HOME work for a reason.
Teacher: are you being smart with me!
Kid: this IS school isn't it? Aren't you supposed to be smart.

I told my dad that I was having trouble getting all my homework done...

So he told me, "if you wait til the last minute, it'll only take a minute"

What does the Mexican kid say as his homework flys out of the window?

Ayyee essay, where are you going?

A first grade teacher was trying to teach her students about animals

She said "What does the fat Cow give us?"
Her students shouted out "Milk!" Unanimously.
She then said "Well done! Now, what does the fluffy chicken give us?"
Her students responded with "Eggs!"
She then said "Good work! Now for the last question. What does the big pig give us?"
Her students paused for a moment and they all shouted "Homework!"

At School: What Does It Give You?

Kids, what does the chicken give you?
Meat!
Very good! Now what does the pig give you?
Bacon!
Great! And what does the fat cow give you?
Homework!

An Asian person robbed my house.

1. My homework is done.
2. My computer is upgraded to its maximum potential.
3. There's a person trying to back out of the driveway.

Teacher: "What can you get from a chicken?"

Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

My mom told me if i didnt get off the computer and do my homework she would bang my head against the keyboard

I think she mighfkgk57mo58ktzsrazxv78p

Are you my homework?

Because you make me anxious and I won't try to do you until its far, far too late.

Teacher : Why didn't you write your homework? Pupil : My dad is in a hospital

*7 days later* T : why didn't you write your homework this time?
P : my dad is still in the hospital.
T : wow, this must be serious.
*1 month later*
T : Let me guess, you didn't do your homework because your father is still in the hospital.
P : Indeed.
T: well, how come?
P : he's a doctor.

A teacher was quizzing Johnny on farm animals

Teacher: "Johnny, what does the chicken give you?"
Johnny: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Johnny: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Johnny: "Homework!"

Teacher: What do you do after school?

1st Student: I go and buy w**... from Yakobo
2nd Student: I always go and buy cigarettes from Yakobo.
3rd Student: I go and buy c**... from Yakobo.
4th Student: I always stay at home and do my homework.
Teacher: You are a great student, I hereby appoint you as the class monitor. You are a good example to other students. What's your name?
4th Student: Yakobo

Appointing a class monitor..

*Teacher*: What do you do after school?
*1st Student*: I go and buy w**... from Yakobo
*2nd Student*: I always go and buy cigarettes from Yakobo.
*3rd Student*: I go and buy c**... from Yakobo.
*4th Student*: I always stay at home and do my homework.
*Teacher:* You are a great student, I hereby appoint you as the class monitor. You are a good example to other students. What's your name?
*4th Student*: Yakobo
*Teacher*: Satan!

Pupil: My neighbour, Mr Chang, got run over and killed by a steam roller. Teacher: Johnny! That's awful and has nothing to do with the homework I set you. Sit down immediately!

Pupil: But Miss, you said we had to talk about crushed Asians.

Difference between Hypothetical and actual

So a young boy comes home from school and says, "dad, my teacher said my homework for the night is to find out the difference between hypothetical and actual."
His dad says, " well son, go ask your mother if she'd sleep with her boss for a million dollars. Then, go ask your sister if she'd sleep with her principal for a million dollars and come back, tell me what they said. "
So the young boy goes and asks both his mom and sister, comes back. "dad, they both said yes."
"Well son, that's your answer."
"But I don't get it", the boy says. 
"Ya see, HYPOTHETICALLY we could be millionaires but, we're ACTUALLY living with a couple of w**...."

Little Ahmed is doing his biology homework.

He comes upon a question: "What separates the head from the body?"
Ahmed answers: "The axe"

Homework.

A girl is doing her homework and her little brother walks in. She asks him for help with a question and he refuses. Angrily she says "Just tell me what the division of two cells is and I won't hurt you". He still won't tell her so she stamps on his foot. "Tell me!" she yells "ouch! mitosis!."

A teacher in class with her students

+ Alright kids, so what does the chicken give us?
- Eggs! They answer in unison.
+ Very good! And what does the pig give us?
- Meat!
+ Excellent! And how about the cow?
- Homework!

Little Johnny raises his hand in class one day...

and asks "Teacher, will you punish me for something I didn't do?"
"Of course not" says the teacher.
"Good," says Little Johnny, "cause I didn't do my homework."

How do you know if you have been robbed by an Asian?

Your rice is gone.
Your homework is done.
Your computer is fixed.
And he is still backing out of the driveway....

A Calculus student is stuck in traffic...

After waiting 20 minutes with little movement, he decides to catch up on his homework. 5 Minutes in, he feels thirsty and realizes he has an unopened bottle of Coke in his backpack. He takes it out and opens it. However, as soon as he takes his first sip, a nearby police car start flashing it's lights and orders him to pull over to the side. When the cop reaches his car, the student asks:
"What am I being stopped for?"
The cop answers:
"Drinking and deriving."

A kid in school hands in a blank piece of paper for his art homework.

The teacher says, "What's this?"
The kid says, "A picture of a cow eating grass."
The teacher asks, "Where's the grass?"
The kid says, "The cow ate it all."
"Ok, then where's the cow?"
"It left because there was no more grass."

A woman asks her husband...

about the electromagnetic spectrum so that she may help her son with his homework. She asks, "sweetheart, what comes after visible light again?" The father answers, "Ultraviolet, darling."

A teacher asks the class,"What do you do after school, kids?"

Anthony says "I buy w**... from Yakobo"
Emily says "I buy booze from Yakobo"
Shaun says "I buy c**... from Yakobo"
The teacher definitely didn't want to hear this type of responses, so she asks another random kid whom she didn't know that well.
"I complete my homework" he says.
Pleased, the teacher says "very good! What's your name, child?"
"I'm Yakobo"

A teacher is giving a lesson when suddenly she hears someone scream outside the classroom.

She rushes out the door to find one of her students on the ground crying.
Teacher: Oh my God, what happened?!
Student: Someone just pulled a gun on me and tried to rob me!
Teacher: Oh my God, are you okay?
Student: Yes. All they took was my homework.

A p**... said she'll do anything for $30

Guess who completed my 2 months' homework

The boy was upset when he came home from school...

Mom I was sent home from school.
Why is that? ask the concerned mom.
First the teacher asked what you get from sheep. I said wool. Then she asked what you get from a pig. I said bacon. Then she asked what you get from a fat cow. I said homework.

A young Asian boy comes home with his homework

He puts the paper in front of his father saying Daddy! Look! I did so well I got a seahorse sticker!
The father replies C-HORSE? WHY NOT A-HORSE

Me: Girlll! Im going to treat you like I treat my homework!

Girl: And how might that be?
Me: I'm going to slam you on the desk and do you all night long

The teacher asks, "Flora, what part of the human body increases ten times when excited?"

Flora blushes and says, "That's disgusting, I won't even answer that question." The teacher calls on Johnny: "What part of the human body increases ten times when excited?" "That's easy," says Johnny. "It's the pupil of the eye." "Very good, Johnny," responds the teacher. "That's correct." She then turns to Flora and says, "First, you didn't do your homework. Second, you have a dirty mind. And third, you're in for a BIG disappointment."

My nephew was doing his history homework and asked me what I knew about Galileo?

I said, "He was a poor boy, from a poor family."

"Dad, can you help me with my homework?"

"Sure son"
"What are 5 animals that live in the ocean?"
"3 whales and two dolphins"
"Thanks dad"
"Anytime"

Why did the kids eat their homework?

The teacher said it was a piece of cake

There was a young man weeping

The man was sitting at a library table
A young lady approached him and asked what was wrong
He replied It's complicated
And showed his calculus homework

A little boy was doing his math homework and practicing out loud, Two plus six, that son of a b**... is eight...

Three plus seven, that son of a b**... is ten."
Hearing what he was saying, his mother asked him what he was doing. He answered that he was doing his math homework.
"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" she asked her son to which he replied yes.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher what she is teaching in math class. The teacher said, "Right now, we are learning addition."
The mother asked if she was teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a b**... is four.
Laughing, the teacher replied, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."

A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day.

When the time came to present what they'd found, the first little boy walked up to the front of the class made a small white dot on the blackboard and sat back down. Puzzled, the teacher asked him just what it was.
"It's a period,'' said the little boy.
"Well, I can see that,'' she said, ''but what is so exciting about a period?''
''Darned if I know,'' said the little boy, ''but this morning my sister was missing one, Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted, and the man next door shot himself."

Homework joke, A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to

jokes about homework

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these homework jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.