Homework Jokes
152 homework jokes and hilarious homework puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about homework that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Having trouble staying motivated for homework? Check out these hilarious jokes about no homework, math homework, assignments, errands and paperwork. Need help getting your work done? Let these amusing jokes be the light in your tunnel of homework.
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Funniest Homework Short Jokes
Short homework jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The homework humour may include short home work jokes also.
- My ADD always beats me when I'm trying to do my homework. The dyslexia doesn't help either.
- Father: When Abe Lincoln was your age he walked 9 miles to school and did homework by candlelight. Son: When Lincoln was your age he was President.
- Why did the kid eat his homework? Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.
-My 6 year old Nephew - My son looked up from his homework and asked me, "Dad, what's an acorn?" I smiled and explained... "Well, in a nutshell, it's an oak tree!"
- My daughter came home from school yesterday and told us this joke: What do you get from a fat cow? Homework.
- The student and the teacher. JACK: "Would you punish me for something I didn't do?"
TEACHER:" Of course not. "
JACK: "Good, because I haven't done my homework ...." - For cookery class, our homework was to bake something. I said I'd bake dog biscuits.
No idea how to, but i have a great excuse when i don't hand in my homework. - What did the Mexican say when a gust of wind blew his homework out the window? Come back essay!
- Teacher: did your father help you with your homework? Student: no he did it all by himself
- Why did Johnny fail his programming class? His mom kept telling him to do his homework, "No ifs, ands, or buts!"
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Homework One Liners
Which homework one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with homework? I can suggest the ones about school work and housework.
- Why are Chinese kids so good at math? Because their dog doesn't eat their homework
- Why are Asians so good at Math? Their dogs can't eat their homework.
- What did the Mexican say when his homework flew out the window? Where you going essay!?
- H.o.m.e.w.o.r.k Half of my energy wasted on random knowledge
- Can teachers give homeless kids... ... homework?
- I asked a friend if I could copy his calculus homework He told me to know my limits
- What is an extreme sport? Doing your homework while your teacher is collecting it.
- I always put my glasses on when doing Math homework. It improves division
- What's long, hard, and scary when you first see it? Calculus homework.
- I'll do you like I do my homework... For two minutes.
- What is thin, white, and scary? Homework.
- I got a paper cut from my Statistics homework. What are the odds?
- You know what bothers me about arson? He's never doing his homework.
Yarr. - Why are dogs terrible students? They always eat their homework
- What do you call a plant not doing its homework Pro-grass-tination
No Homework Jokes
Here is a list of funny no homework jokes and even better no homework puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My daughter is making graphs for her math homework. Awfully suspicious... Pretty sure she's plotting something.
- A teacher asks her student Teacher: What does a Bee gives us?
Student: Honey
Teacher: What does a cow gives us?
Student: Milk
Teacher: What does a fat pig gives us?
Student: Homework - My teacher took off points when I spilled my juice on my Calculus homework... ... Apparently, I shouldn't drink and derive.
- What did phenolphthalein do when he couldn't understand his Chemistry homework? He just added Acetic Acid until it became clear.
- My parents are very unfair... they scolded me for something I didn't even do! My homework.
- "Dad, can you help me with my homework?" "Sure son"
"What are 5 animals that live in the ocean?"
"3 whales and two dolphins"
"Thanks dad"
"Anytime" - Professor: The homework is due Monday. Student: Can I get an extension?
Professor: No worries. The homework is due Monday.png. - My nephew was doing his history homework and asked me what I knew about Galileo? I said, "He was a poor boy, from a poor family."
- A girl once told me she was LGBTQ I said, I asked for the homework, not the among us code.
- Math Teacher: Your homework looks like chicken scratch, but you have all the correct answers Later at Home: I think she's on to us, mathmachicken
Math Homework Jokes
Here is a list of funny math homework jokes and even better math homework puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I was so busy with maths homework that I didn't brush my teeth for a week The calculus had built up, and it was starting to get quite hard.
- My son asked if I could help him with his math homework. He said "Do I know the square root of minus 1?" I said "aye"
- My friend asked me to assist him with his math homework. I should probably help him before he stops *counting* on me.
- I mailed my maths homework to Barack Obama, Vladimir Putin and Queen Elizabeth II ...it said to give my answers to 3 significant figures.
- Why did Obi-wan not do his math homework? Because only a Sith deals in absolutes.
- A math tutor agrees to help a hot student with her homework. His friends upon hearing this ask him if he made it to 3rd base with her. The math tutor replies "no. I made it to base 10."
- "Dad, can you do my math homework for me?" "No son, it wouldn't be right." "Well, at least you could try."
- Why did the student hire an Instagram model to help with his math homework? Because it's the thot that counts
- My son was like "I got a D in my maths" and I was like "That's really bad" and my wife was like "you need to stop doing his homework."
- Two 5th graders are doing Math homework. One tells the other, "I don't know what 99 is in Roman numerals."
The other lowers her glasses and says, "IC."
Homework Assignment Jokes
Here is a list of funny homework assignment jokes and even better homework assignment puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How did the deaf teacher give his deaf students their homework instructions? He assigned it
- Why don't I lose homework assignments? Because I protect my packets with SSL.
Humorous Homework Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life
What funny jokes about homework you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean research paper jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make homework pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An escalating series of math jokes
Me: Roses are red. Violets are blue. Math is hard, and so I am.
Her: I wish you were my differential equations homework... because if you were, you would be hard and I would be doing you on my desk.
Me: Well, I'm awfully glad you're not *my* differential equations homework... because if you were, you would be 6 weeks late.
Meanie-Pie Girl
I was working on a large amount of math homework in a group today, and one of the female participants was being prissy and in general a nuisance. So I patted her on the head. She says, 'Did you just pat me on the head?' So I say, "Yes, you were being mean so I was de-meaning you."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Theory vs Reality
Little Billy had a homework assignment to compare theory and reality. The boy asked his father what the difference was between theory and reality. His father told him, 'Go ask your mother if she would have s**... with the mailman for a million dollars.' The boy asks his mother and she says she would. Billy tells his father she would have s**... with the mailman for million dollars.
The father then tells the boy, 'Now go as your sister if she would have s**... with the mailman for a million dollars.' The boy asks his sister and she to says she would have s**... with the mailman.
Little Billy goes and tells his father both his mom and his sister would have s**... with the mailman and his father says, "Well son, in theory we're multimillionaires, but in reality we live with a couple of w**....
Joke I came up with when I was ten
So a student walks into his classroom early and approaches the teacher.
He says: "I just wanted to tell you that I couldn't do my homework last night"
The teacher asks: "Why not?"
The students replies: "Because I ran out"
Teacher: "Of notebook paper?"
Student: "No, of toilet paper"
Teacher: "What does that have to do with anything?"
Student: "I had to improvise"
It's a really bad joke but I remember my parents thought it was funny.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So i met a h**... today who said she would do anything for five bucks
Guess who got their homework done!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My friend is a prison warden currently doing sensitivity training. His homework entails "What would you do if you saw two curious inmates indulging in i**...? "
I said "Why can't we just let bi-cons be bi-cons?!"
"I'm gonna treat you like I treat my homework"
"Oh, you're going to slam me on your desk and do me all night?"
"No, I'm going to stare at you and think there's so many better things I could be doing..."
A blonde, brunette, and a red head go to summer camp and they can only bring one thing..
The red head brings a deck of cards, to keep herself entertained.
The brunette brings her homework, to get it done and live stress free.
The blonde brings a car door, so she can roll down her window if she gets hot.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The fat cow
Teacher: Okay children, what does the chicken give you?
Children: "EGGS!!!!"
Teacher: Very good. What about the pig? What does the pig give you?
Children: "BACONS!!!!!"
Teacher: Oh wow, im impressed. What about the fat cow? What does the fat cow give you?
Children: "HOMEWORKS!!!!!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Russia's Three Steps to Homework
Step 1. Putin it off
Step 2. Stalin
Step 3. Russian to finish
Thought of this joke while working on my chemistry homework:
What did the Bi-Sodium Carbonate have for lunch?
A 2Na Sandwich
In honor of my cakeday...
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake?
"What's eating you?"
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor?
Because it was feeling crumby!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Found my son and his girlfriend n**... in his room.
And I was like "*s**...-education* is so advanced now that they also give homework!"
A student walks up to his teacher...
-Student: "Miss, would you blame someone for something that they didn't do?"
-Teacher: "No of course not. I would never do that."
-Student: "Good, because I didn't do my homework."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the company use gametes in their commerical?
Because s**... cells.
Thought of this joke while doing biology homework, is it any good?
A blonde was lying in the grass...
One afternoon, a college student is walking across the Green and sees a pretty blonde lying in the grass staring up at the clear blue sky.
"Getting a tan?" he asks.
"No! Do you think that just because I'm blonde I'm focussing on my looks? I'm actually a very good student and right now I'm getting a head start on my homework!"
"Oh, I'm sorry. What class is it for?"
"Astronomy!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Q:Why Do Russian Students Always Turn in Their Homework Late?
**A:Because, all they ever learn about is Stalin.**
Q: What did the student's get as a result of never turning in their homework on time?
**A: Bad Marx.**
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's a sharks favorite game?
s**... the leader.
*This joke has been brought to you by my 8 year old's math homework.*
Why did jimmy eat his Homework?
Because the previous day, the teacher told her students; "Don't worry guys, it's gonna be a piece of cake".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you know if an Asian person has robbed your house?
When you come home, your math homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and they're still trying to back out of the driveway.
Funny Comeback
Teacher: where is your homework?
Kid: at home.
Teacher: why is it at home?
Kid: it's called HOME work for a reason.
Teacher: are you being smart with me!
Kid: this IS school isn't it? Aren't you supposed to be smart.
I told my dad that I was having trouble getting all my homework done...
So he told me, "if you wait til the last minute, it'll only take a minute"
I do my women like I do my homework
I don't
What does the Mexican kid say as his homework flys out of the window?
Ayyee essay, where are you going?
An Asian person robbed my house.
1. My homework is done.
2. My computer is upgraded to its maximum potential.
3. There's a person trying to back out of the driveway.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**... is like homework
I only do it when my teacher forces me to.
When A Teacher Asks You If You Did Your Homework
Teacher: Did you do your homework?
Student: Did you grade my test?
Teacher:I have other students' tests to grade.
Student: I have other teachers' homework to do.
Teacher: "What can you get from a chicken?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
Little Johnny asks his teacher
Little Johnny asks his teacher, "Would you punish me for something I didn't do?"
"Of course not, Johnny," she responds.
"Great, because I didn't do my homework."
Are you my homework?
Because you make me anxious and I won't try to do you until its far, far too late.
Teacher : Why didn't you write your homework? Pupil : My dad is in a hospital
*7 days later* T : why didn't you write your homework this time?
P : my dad is still in the hospital.
T : wow, this must be serious.
*1 month later*
T : Let me guess, you didn't do your homework because your father is still in the hospital.
P : Indeed.
T: well, how come?
P : he's a doctor.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Teacher: What do you do after school?
1st Student: I go and buy w**... from Yakobo
2nd Student: I always go and buy cigarettes from Yakobo.
3rd Student: I go and buy c**... from Yakobo.
4th Student: I always stay at home and do my homework.
Teacher: You are a great student, I hereby appoint you as the class monitor. You are a good example to other students. What's your name?
4th Student: Yakobo
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Pupil: My neighbour, Mr Chang, got run over and killed by a steam roller. Teacher: Johnny! That's awful and has nothing to do with the homework I set you. Sit down immediately!
Pupil: But Miss, you said we had to talk about crushed Asians.
Teacher: did you do your homework?
Student: did you mark our tests?
Teacher: I've got other classes tests to mark.
Student: well I've got other classes homework to do.
Not sure if joke. Still found this to be enjoyable.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Difference between Hypothetical and actual
So a young boy comes home from school and says, "dad, my teacher said my homework for the night is to find out the difference between hypothetical and actual."
His dad says, " well son, go ask your mother if she'd sleep with her boss for a million dollars. Then, go ask your sister if she'd sleep with her principal for a million dollars and come back, tell me what they said. "
So the young boy goes and asks both his mom and sister, comes back. "dad, they both said yes."
"Well son, that's your answer."
"But I don't get it", the boy says.
"Ya see, HYPOTHETICALLY we could be millionaires but, we're ACTUALLY living with a couple of w**...."
For our art homework we had to do a painting and my teacher asked me where mine was.
I said, "My dog ate it."
"But you don't have a dog..." said the girl next to me.
"You're right," I replied, "not any more."
Little Ahmed is doing his biology homework.
He comes upon a question: "What separates the head from the body?"
Ahmed answers: "The axe"
Little Johnny can't be punished
Little Johnny asks the teacher, Mrs Roberts, can I be punished for something I haven't done?
Mrs Roberts is shocked, Of course not, Johnny, that would be very unfair!
Little Johnny is relieved, OK Mrs Roberts, sorry, I haven't done my homework.
Homework.
A girl is doing her homework and her little brother walks in. She asks him for help with a question and he refuses. Angrily she says "Just tell me what the division of two cells is and I won't hurt you". He still won't tell her so she stamps on his foot. "Tell me!" she yells "ouch! mitosis!."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My mom said that if I don't get off the computer and do my homework she'll slam my head into the keyboard,
but I think she's jokinfreoiwjr67uiwosi94ckcjfkdald87lakdofasdkfj
A Calculus student is stuck in traffic...
After waiting 20 minutes with little movement, he decides to catch up on his homework. 5 Minutes in, he feels thirsty and realizes he has an unopened bottle of Coke in his backpack. He takes it out and opens it. However, as soon as he takes his first sip, a nearby police car start flashing it's lights and orders him to pull over to the side. When the cop reaches his car, the student asks:
"What am I being stopped for?"
The cop answers:
"Drinking and deriving."
A kid in school hands in a blank piece of paper for his art homework.
The teacher says, "What's this?"
The kid says, "A picture of a cow eating grass."
The teacher asks, "Where's the grass?"
The kid says, "The cow ate it all."
"Ok, then where's the cow?"
"It left because there was no more grass."
I feel sorry for school children now
It must be so much harder to convince the teacher that your dog deleted your homework.
My friend was drunkenly doing his calculus homework
You shouldn't drink and derive, I told him.
Cr
A woman asks her husband...
about the electromagnetic spectrum so that she may help her son with his homework. She asks, "sweetheart, what comes after visible light again?" The father answers, "Ultraviolet, darling."
A teacher is giving a lesson when suddenly she hears someone scream outside the classroom.
She rushes out the door to find one of her students on the ground crying.
Teacher: Oh my God, what happened?!
Student: Someone just pulled a gun on me and tried to rob me!
Teacher: Oh my God, are you okay?
Student: Yes. All they took was my homework.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A p**... said she'll do anything for $30
Guess who completed my 2 months' homework
I need help with my geometry homework
it said to draw 2 planes intersecting 2 buildings.
The boy was upset when he came home from school...
Mom I was sent home from school.
Why is that? ask the concerned mom.
First the teacher asked what you get from sheep. I said wool. Then she asked what you get from a pig. I said bacon. Then she asked what you get from a fat cow. I said homework.
A young Asian boy comes home with his homework
He puts the paper in front of his father saying Daddy! Look! I did so well I got a seahorse sticker!
The father replies C-HORSE? WHY NOT A-HORSE
The teacher asks, "Flora, what part of the human body increases ten times when excited?"
Flora blushes and says, "That's disgusting, I won't even answer that question." The teacher calls on Johnny: "What part of the human body increases ten times when excited?" "That's easy," says Johnny. "It's the pupil of the eye." "Very good, Johnny," responds the teacher. "That's correct." She then turns to Flora and says, "First, you didn't do your homework. Second, you have a dirty mind. And third, you're in for a BIG disappointment."
My son studies so much
His homework folder is bigger than 4 GB.
Benefits of being Homeless...
You don't get homework.
There was a young man weeping
The man was sitting at a library table
A young lady approached him and asked what was wrong
He replied It's complicated
And showed his calculus homework
My dog ate my homework
It was a ruff draft.
