Hometown Jokes
38 hometown jokes and hilarious hometown puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hometown that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Hometown Short Jokes
Short hometown jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hometown humour may include short homeland jokes also.
- In my hometown, a barber got arrested for selling drugs. Blew my mind. I've been his customer for years. I had no idea he was a barber.
- There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris in my hometown.... ...but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
- Circus They just opened a circus in my hometown. I went last Saturday. All I could say is that it was in tents.
- Jean's mom came home after visiting her hometown Maggie: Hey, where did your mom come from?
Jean: Alaska
Maggie: Don't bother, I'll ask her myself - My hometown is so tough that, when I used Google Earth so show my girlfriend where I used to live, we got mugged.
- I was visiting my hometown and I drove past the data recovery center I used to work at. It really brought back a lot of memories.
- A barber in my hometown just got busted for selling drugs. It blew my mind.. I had no idea that he was a barber.
- According to the news, there's a clairvoyant bank robber with dwarfism on the loose in my hometown. They said to keep an eye-out for a Small Medium at Large.
- I can't believe I lost my candidacy for mayor of my hometown I kissed so many hands and shook so many babies.
- My wife mistakenly told me she was leaving for her hometown Friday afternoon, staying a night, then coming back on Friday. Asking when she bought a horse named Friday was a bad idea.
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Hometown One Liners
Which hometown one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hometown? I can suggest the ones about small town and returning home.
- My handwriting has gotten pretty bad... I am the most illegible bachelor in my hometown!
- What is Dwight Schrute's hometown? Nanda Parbeets.
- I just had a blizzard in my hometown. I didn't feel much of it, It was too mobile.
- I saw Matt Damon eating toast in his hometown... ...could it be Bourne and Bread?
- Yo momma's so fat, when we asked her what her hometown is, she said, "Buffet."
- There once was a young man from Nantucket... ...because it was his hometown.
- What is Mel Gibson's hometown? Melbourne
- Why did the hipster otter leave his hometown river? It was too mainstream :)
- Ferguson was my hometown... Now it looks like blackhawk down
- Mark Twain used to travel with a podium from his hometown. Ah yes, his Hannibal Lectern.
- Only one Chinese man lived in my hometown, and I still couldn't tell him apart.
- My hometown is so c**...… our Dollar General is still a Dollar Private.
Cheerful Hometown Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!
What funny jokes about hometown you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean phone home jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hometown pranks.
A close call.
Yesterday I was walking on the streets in my hometown Rotterdam, in the Netherlands. I was about to go to the grocery store when I saw a black man running with a TV. I was afraid of it being mine, so I ran home as quick as possible, but luckily mine was still there, polishing my shoes.
An old man stumbles into a bar after having had a few already...
Once inside, he slides up to the bar and orders a shot of whiskey. "To the class of '55!" he yells, holding the glass aloft. Next to him, an old drunk raises his glass, "To the class of '55!"
"Where you from?" asks the first man of the second after they both toast.
"I'm from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania."
"You don't say?! I'm from Pittsburgh!"
The two men drink to their hometown.
"What high school did you go to?" Ask the second man as he orders them another round.
"St Ignaius on Lombard Street."
"You're kidding me, I went to St Ignaius!" The two toast the coincidence and sling an arm over each other's shoulders as they begin to fondly reminisce about the old days.
A bar regular walks in and calls out to the bartender, "Hey Steve, what's going on?"
"Oh nothing," Steve replies, "The Johnson twins are drunk again."
A man passes away...
A man passes away and his f**... is set to be held in his hometown where one of his sons lives. The other, a wealthy businessman, unfortunately can't make it to the ceremony so instead he offers to pay for the entire thing. A few months later, the businessman is looking over his finances and notices a recurring bill of $120 a month. Confused, he called up his brother and asks him if he knows anything about it.
"Oh yeah" the brother replies. "Dad always wanted to go out in style so we rented him a tuxedo"
Cultural Diversity--True Story
When I was six I learned about Hanukkah in school. My teacher told me, "Christians celebrate Christmas, and Jews celebrate Hanukkah."
That night I was waiting in line at Hometown Buffet with my family and asked Mom why the restaurant would be closed for Christmas.
"It's so that the people who work here can spend Christmas with their families." She said.
In a loud, excited voice I piped up, "BUT COULDN'T THEY GET SOME JEWS TO WORK HERE?"
We never went back.
Need help: looking for parade jokes. (I know, right?)
I was asked to announce the 4th of July parade in my small hometown. Was wondering if anyone here has been at a parade and heard something funny.
The only thing to work off of right now is that Josh Duhmel is announcing the 4th of July parade in a larger town about 20 minutes away.
Thanks
This guy goes into a restaurant for a Christmas breakfast while in his hometown for the holidays
After looking over the menu he says, "I'll just have the eggs Benedict." His order comes a while later and it's served on a big, shiny hubcap. He asks the waiter, "What's with the hubcap?" The waiter says, "Well, there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise."
I was bullied a lot in school.
Eventually I went on to musical success. Years down the line, I stopped in my hometown to do a show. It turned out the biggest of my bullies was hired to handle my displays.
I watched for a while as he tried to put up some cardboard cutouts of myself. Every time he would set one up, another one fell over.
Now that I'm in charge, he can't stand up two me's.
Folks in my hometown are so judgmental!
I(40) tried to take my wife(19) out for a nice dinner and everyone kept staring and calling me a p**...! It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary!
b**... curry
A Canadian is showing his English friend around his hometown.
Canadian: "Have you ever tried b**... curry?"
Englishman: "b**... curry,!?"
Canadian: " Yeah, it's like normal curry, but just a bit otter."
Sen. Franklin R. Lee of Idaho was instrumental in obtaining a 100-megawatt hydroelectric plant...
.. on the Givva River for the benefit of his hometown, Medea. When the plant was finished, the dedication plaque read:
> Frank Lee, Medea, Idaho, Givva Dam
I visited my hometown to meet my favorite chef.
Unfortunately, he pasta away. I donated my entire millennial life savings of $13.42 to his Italian restaurant. Sometimes, one cannoli do so much. Just live and let Olive.
