Homesick Jokes
10 homesick jokes and hilarious homesick puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about homesick that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Cheerful Homesick Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!
What is a good homesick joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Businessman
Businessman walks into a motel/brothel. Ask the lady working the front desk...I'd like a room and for an extra $500, I want your oldest, fattest, meanest, boring in bed woman and a bologna sandwich.
The receptionist looks at him confused and says for that price we could get you our youngest, kindest, skinniest, kinkiest girl and a steak dinner with all the trimmings.
The man replys ma'am you don't understand me...I'm homesick.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Pakistani living in England (offensive)
A pakistani who had recently moved to England had been feeling extremely ill for a week and so decided to visit the doctor. The doctor asked what was wrong with him and the Pakistani complained of a terrible headache and sickness. Upon hearing this the doctor told him to get a bucket at home and fill it with fish, human f**... and milk and leave it out in the sun for a couple of days before putting it next to his bed as he slept at night and taking it everywhere with him. Astounded, the Pakistani left and did what he was told despite being surprised that he should do such a thing.
Three days later the Pakistani returned to the doctor "It's a miracle!" he exclaimed"I got better overnight! How could have it worked?" to which the doctor replied "It was simple, you were homesick."
An Irishman arrived at J.F.K. Airport and wandered around the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks...
An Irishman arrived at J.F.K. Airport and wandered around the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks. An airline employee asked him if he was already homesick.
"No" replied the Irishman "I've lost all me luggage!"
"How'd that happen?"
"The cork fell out!" said the Irishman.
A man on a business trip went out for breakfast
When the waitress came to his booth, she asked "What can we get you?"
The man paused and said "I'll tell you what- I'd like the special, but I want my toast burned to a crisp, my bacon rubbery, my coffee weak and when you bring me the food I want you to yell at me."
Puzzled, the waitress said "What are you, crazy?!"
"No," said the man- "i'm homesick."
Man walks into a bar and orders 4 beers.
Drinks them, and leaves.
Next week same time does the same thing: orders 4 beers, drinks them, and leaves.
The third week; same thing. The bartender is curious so he asks. "well, I moved here few weeks ago. Back home my 3 brothers and I met every Thursday after work for a beer. Since I was feeling homesick I figured I would keep up the tradition even if I had to do it alone."
This goes on for several weeks until one week the man comes in and orders three beers and a coke. Bartender says, "I hate to pry but what happened? Did one of your brothers pass away?"
The man chuckles and says, "No nothing like that. I decided to quit drinking."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Five Hundred Bucks
A trucker who has been on the road for three weeks stops into a brothel outside Vegas. He walks straight up to the madam, drops down $500 and says, "I want your ugliest woman and a bologna sandwich!" The madam is astonished. "But, sir, for that kind of money, you could have one of my finest ladies and a three-course meal."
The trucker replies, "Listen sweetheart, I ain't h**..., I'm homesick."
I came home the other night to find my wife crying on the floor. I said what's wrong? She said I'm homesick . I said what do you mean, you're at home.
She said I know. I'm sick of it.
Did you know Chinese-Americans never get homesick!?
Because for them, everything here is homemade.
Polynesian
Hey, ever heard of the homesick, nymphomaniac Polynesian girl? Yeah, she kept longing for Samoa....
My roommate from California was homesick
So I stole his water bottle to make him feel more at home.
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