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Homeowner Jokes

26 homeowner jokes and hilarious homeowner puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about homeowner that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Are you a first time homeowner looking for a laugh? Check out this hilarious collection of jokes about homeowners, condominiums, landlords and more! Get ready to put a smile on your face and get the laughs rolling with these lighthearted jokes about the homeowner lifestyle.

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Popular Homeowner Short Jokes

Short homeowner jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The homeowner humour may include short house husband jokes also.

  1. I started a new job today doing parcel delivery, at my first drop the homeowner had left a note saying we're out so please hide in the bin. I'm still hiding, I'm hungry and it's dark, help!
  2. Why should every starter house come with a cat? Because you can't spell homeowner without meow
  3. Why did the homeowner take so long in remodeling his home? He had trouble with da siding. (deciding)
  4. What did the roofing professional say to the homeowner after the job was done? It's on the house
  5. Bad weather? FEMA representative: During the last storm did you receive any damage to your property?
    Homeowner: Hail, yes.
  6. A guy at the gym asked me if I wanted to learn how to properly squat... I said, "no thank you, I'm a homeowner."
  7. I got a letter from my Homeowners Associations too It just said "People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw o**...."
  8. Did you hear about the s**... addicted homeowner who hired a knighted female to renovate his house? He contracted Sir Phyllis

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Homeowner One Liners

Which homeowner one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with homeowner? I can suggest the ones about landlord and business owner.

  1. What is a large group of Karens called? A homeowners association
  2. What did the affectionate volcano tell the Hawaiian homeowner? "I lava you."
  3. What did the homeowner say to the fruit growing gardener? Water me lawn
  4. If a Cat Owned a Home they would be a homeowner.
  5. What do you call a cat that owns a house? A hoMEOWner.
  6. What do you call someone from San Francisco with a car? A homeowner
  7. How does the homeowner's association tell time? It checks its neighborhood watch.
  8. Words that that contain 'meow' meow, meows, meowing, homeowner
  9. What did the homeowners of house haunted by windows have? Phantom panes.

Homeowner joke, What did the homeowners of house haunted by windows have?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about homeowner can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of homeowner puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Uproarious Homeowner Jokes to Share with Friends

What funny jokes about homeowner you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean housewife jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make homeowner prank.

A housekeeper approached the lady of the house to ask for a raise...

And why would you deserve a raise, may I ask? , said the wealthy homeowner.
3 reasons: Because I'm a better cook than you are , said the maid.
Who told you that?
Your husband. And I'm also better at cleaning.
Who told you that?
Also your husband.
And the third reason why you think I should give you a raise?
Because I'm a LOT better in bed than you.
Hmmm... did my husband tell you that, too?
No, ma'am... the gardener.

A plumber rings the doorbell

"Come in", says the homeowner, Stacy.
"Hi, I am the plumber, sorry for being a bit late"
"That's fine, my sister must have called for you"
"Alright. So where's that disgusting clogged up mess?"
"Her name actually is Rita, and she's not home at the moment".

A guy walks in to his backyard and sees a gorilla in his tree

He gets online and finds a man who specializes in gorilla removal. When he arrives at the house he has a stick, a set of handcuffs, a chihuahua, and a shotgun.
He tells the homeowner "I'm going to climb up in the tree and use the stick to hit the gorilla until he falls out of the tree. Upon landing, the trained chihuahua will viciously lunge for the gorillas g**... and when he attempts to protect himself we will slap on the handcuffs."
The homeowner, a little bewildered, says "that's crazy enough it just might work, but what is the shotgun for?"
"If I fall out of the tree first....shoot the chihuahua."

How much do you get paid?

The homeowner got into his grubbiest clothes one Saturday morning and set about all the chores he'd been putting off for weeks. He'd cleaned out the garage, pruned the hedges, and was halfway through mowing the lawn when a woman pulls up and yells out her window, Say, what do you get for yard work?
The homeowner thought for a moment, then answered, The lady who lives here lets me sleep with her.

m**... Jagger and Keith Richards were arrested for allegedly breaking into a Spanish man's house

They reportedly took some of his belongings (only what they could carry). When the police asked the homeowner about it, he said "They took what they could, but then.... The Rolling Stones gathered no más."

We all know humans are just cat's slaves, right? Yes. So a human was looking for a new home, to his cats disapproval. When the human said "I am the owner, I call the shots" how did the cat respond?

You can't spell homeowner without meow.

A guy looking for work

A guy goes door to door looking for work. One homeowner hands him a brush and a can of paint and offers him $150 to paint his porch.
A few hours later, the guy comes back to the homeowner and says, I'm finished. But you should know that your car's a Ferrari, not a Porsche.

Homeowner joke, What did the roofing professional say to the homeowner after the job was done?

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these homeowner jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.