Homemade Jokes
51 homemade jokes and hilarious homemade puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about homemade that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover the hilarity of homemade jokes! Whether it's for a BBQ or just to share with family and friends, learn how to make the best homemade jokes to get everyone laughing. No Store-bought Jokes! Learn the secrets to crafting the funniest homemade wine, pie and bread jokes for any occasion!
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Funniest Homemade Short Jokes
Short homemade jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The homemade humour may include short handmade jokes also.
- (My 6 year old's first homemade joke) What kind of clothes do cats wear to bed? Answer: Paw-jamas
- I found a recipe from Morocco for homemade dinner rolls. It called for fresh thyme but mine was outdated. I used it anyways. You know, as I reminisce, I really like that old thyme moroccan roll.
- My Chinese roommate and I decided to give each other homemade christmas gifts this year! I'm hoping for an iPad!
- My wife said I added too much lime juice to my homemade salsa and it made her taco taste funny The odd acidity.
- Did you know Chinese-Americans never get homesick!? Because for them, everything here is homemade.
- How were the cast of Friends able to escape a desert island on a homemade raft? Because Lisa Kudrow.
- What do you call a funny mosquito? What do you call a funny mosquito?
Malarious
-My gf's homemade joke - My brother recently got married To celebrate, my mother decided to pull out a couple bottles from my late father's homemade alcohol collection.
That way he could be there in spirits - I told my Chinese friend that I like homemade gifts.... So for Christmas he gave me an iPhone, iPad and an iMac.
- I was cutting up a homemade pizza and exclaimed "wow, this cheese is stringy" My four year old daughter's reply
"Stringier than a yo-yo"
Share These Homemade Jokes With Friends
Homemade One Liners
Which homemade one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with homemade? I can suggest the ones about self made and cooked.
- I got an iPad from my chinese friend... I love homemade gifts!
- I got an iPad for my birthday from my Chinese friend. Nothing beats a homemade present!
- What kind of a cake can orphans not have? Homemade.
- What did 50 Cent say to his grandma after she gave him a homemade scarf? "Gee, You Knit?"
- Why did the police arrest the musician who homemade his instruments? Domestic violins!
- (homemade) what did the frog do to the paper? Veteran dad here, no applause required.
- What's considered an homemade gift in China? An IPhone.
- My homemade bread turned out very well, kneadless to say.
- Made some homemade Pear Jam today... Can say it doesn't get Eddie Vedder than that!
- [Homemade] A man with a Russian accent walks into a bar.
Actually it was more Poll-ish - I guess you could say all houses are... Homemade.
- What do you get Kaiser Wilhelm II for Father' 's Day? Homemade waffles.
- I saw a homemade sign for tackle and lures... It was bait
- What did the mohel bring to the BBQ potluck? His homemade Bris-kit.
- What is a orphans biggest dilemma when it comes to cooking? Making a homemade meal.
Homemade Pie Jokes
Here is a list of funny homemade pie jokes and even better homemade pie puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Everything's better homemade... ...pie, taco salad, m**...!
Homemade Bread Jokes
Here is a list of funny homemade bread jokes and even better homemade bread puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My buddy said that he was planning on making homemade bread. I told him to let me know if he kneeds anything.
Great Homemade Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What funny jokes about homemade you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean manufactured jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make homemade pranks.
Purchased Vs. Homemade
Six year old Annie returns home from school and says she had her first family planning lesson at school.
Her mother, very interested, asks; "How did it go?" "I nearly died of shame!" she answers.
"Sam from over the road, says that the stork brings babies.
Sally next door said you can buy babies at the orphanage.
Pete in my class says you can buy babies at the hospital."
Her mother answers laughingly, "But that's no reason to be ashamed."
"No, but I can't tell them that we were so poor that you and daddy had to make me yourselves! that I was HOMEMADE."
Two lawyers sit in a restaurant.
They're eating homemade sandwiches.
The server comes along and stops them: "Excuse me, but it is not allowed to bring your own food here"
The lawyers share a glance, sigh and trade the sandwiches.
A flat Earther goes to heaven.
A flat Earther dies while trying to fly in a homemade rocket and goes to heaven. There he meets up with God and says, "Oh Supreme Lord!! Tell me with utmost honesty. Is Earth round or flat ? "
God replies, "It is round, my dear child."
The flat earther thinks, " Wow ! This whole thing goes much higher than I thought."
A Fireman See's a Little Girl
that has her own homemade firetruck with her dog and a red wagon.He says to the little girl, "That's a nice looking firetruck little missy!" She then says, "Thank You!" He keeps checking it out when he notices that the rope that's tied to the wagon is tied to the dogs t**....He tells the little girl, "Sweetie, I think your firetruck would go a lot faster if the rope was tied to the dogs neck." She replies, "Oh I know that Sir!But then it wouldn't have a siren!"
Homemade and 100% organic
Since it's my cake day, I'll give y'all a joke that I created by myself. One that tickles me.
Two car salesman were talking to each other about their sales. They were really impressed with the commissions they were making with electric cars. Then, one of them asked, "Why doesn't Dodge sell any electric vehicles?". The other salesman said, "That would be dumb. If they sold electric vehicles, they would have to give away a free Dodge Charger with each purchase!"
What do a plate of homemade brownies and a g**... have in common?
u**... for a treat.
I passed a group of Girl Scouts this morning, with a stall that read..
.."Home-Made Lemonade: £15.00, o**... s**...: £5.00"
"Here's twenty pounds, girls, but I think you've got your prices mixed up," I chuckled.
"Once you've finished going down on me, you'll be gagging for that lemonade," said the sweaty fat one.
This past Christmas I told my wife that all I wanted for Christmas was an Xbox.
That's it. Beginning and end of the list; Xbox. You know what she got me? A homemade frame with a picture of our wedding. That was fine, because I got her an Xbox.
My sister gave me some of her homemade exfoliating g**... scrub to try. Made with 100% Arabica coffee grounds.
I said I hope it doesn't keep me up all night.
My friend once talked me out of jumping off a building with my new homemade glider wings.
He said I didnt understand the gravity of the situation.
Yesterday I was making some homemade pizza when my doctor called to inform me that I only had 24 hours to live, that's when I realized...
This is the last pizza ill ever knead
While we're doing homemade jokes: "Why didn't the soviet's car go?"
Because the engine was Stalin!
^it ^kinda ^works ^on ^two ^levels!
My wife said she made me homemade ravioli dinner...
And I was like, "this is obviously Chef Boyardee, it for sure came out of a can."
She replied, as she held her thumbs up to her chest, "yeah, but this h**... made it!"
Why were the prisoners of Alcatraz upset when the shortest inmate broke free by sliding down his homemade rope?
It was a little condescending.
![Homemade joke, [Homemade]](/images/jokes/homemade-jokes-my-chinese-roommate-and-i-decided-to-give-each-oth.jpg "Homemade joke, [Homemade]")
