Holy Cow Jokes
46 holy cow jokes and hilarious holy cow puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about holy cow that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Holy Cow Short Jokes
Short holy cow jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The holy cow humour may include short sacred cow jokes also.
- Holy Cow! I just found out I've been appointed to be communications director at the white house... it's not that I'm qualified or anything, it's just my turn...
- Did you know about the time I chatted with the holy cow? It was an udder worldly experience.
- Wile E. Coyote's edit to his post on reddit about his plan to catch Roadrunner "Holy cow, I did not expect for this to blow up."
- I was at the farm with my friend when we chanced upon a cow with multiple gunshot wound My friend looked up and said "holy cow"
- Jesus at a restaurant in Heaven... "Holy cow!"
"Yes, Lord. I am both you server and your steak. How would you like me cooked?"
"Well done, my good and faithful sirloin."
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Holy Cow One Liners
Which holy cow one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with holy cow? I can suggest the ones about cows and flying cow.
- Did you hear about the Holy Cow? Some say he was legend-dairy.
- I ate a burger in church today The priest then said Holy cow
- In India, they regard Bovine creatures as sacred animals. Holy Cow!
- What did the Hindu man say when he was surprised? Holy cow!
- What do you call a holy cow in an oven? Praised beef.
- What does an Indish person say when he sees something awesome? Holy cow.
- What did the cow say to the other cow? HOLY SH*T A TALKING COW!
- I saw a cow at church today Holy cow
- Guess what happens when you chuck a piece of steak into a church? Holy cow!
- Did you hear about the bull that descended into the heavens? holy cow.
- A massive, 5 tons ox walks into a bar. The bartender says "HOLY COW"
- What did the farmer say after his cow got shot? Holy Cow!
- ...So your mom's a pastor eh? ...holy cow...
Holy Cow Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about holy cow you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bovine cow jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make holy cow pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Avon Lady was delivering products in a high-rise and was riding in the elevator.
Suddenly, she had the powerful urge to f**....
Since no one was in the elevator, she let it go - and it was a doozy.
Of course, the elevator then stopped at the next floor, so she quickly used some Avon Pine-Scented Spray to cover up the smell.
A man entered the elevator and immediately made a face.
"Holy cow! What's that smell?"
"I don't know, sir. I don't smell anything. What does it smell like to you?"
"Like someone crapped a Christmas tree."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Interviewing Arab for US visa
Interviewing an arab for a visa
Consul : What is your name?
Arab: Abdul Aziz
Consul: s**...?
Arab : Six to ten times a week
Consul: I mean, male or female?
Arab : Both male and female and sometimes even camels.
Consul: Holy cow!
Arab : Yes, cows and dogs too!!!!
Consul: Man,........isn't it hostile?
Arab : Horse style, d**..., any style
Consul: Oh..........dear!
Arab : Deer? No deer, they run too fast
My grandpa always told me this joke, hope you like it.
A frog in trousers hopped across a meadow.
Upon meeting a rabbit, the frog said:
"I am a cow, I am a cow!".
The rabbit looked angry and said,
"You are not a cow, you're a frog!".
So the frog pulled down his trousers and the rabbit stuttered in disbelief: "Holy cow!"
A Televangelist, a Rabbi and a Hindu were traveling together
They came across a farm and asked to spend the night there. The farmer said, I only have room for two, someone will have to sleep in the barn.
The Hindu volunteered. Moments later, there was a knock on the door. The Hindu said, There is a cow in the barn. I can't sleep on holy ground.
I will go said the Rabbi. Moments later there was a knock on the door. I can't sleep with a pig, pigs are unkosher.
So the Televangelist is sent out to the barn. Moments later, there was a knock on the door.
It was the pig and the cow.
One Dark Halloween Night........
Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap- tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones. "Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death -- we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?" "Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A reporter goes to the Middle East for an interview.
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "s**...?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, d**..., any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Do you speak english?
- Yes
- Name?
- Abdul bal-Rhasib
- s**...?
- Three to five times a week.
- No, no... I mean male or female?
- Yes, male, female, sometimes camel.
- Holy cow!
- Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general.
- But isn't it hostile?
- Horse style, d**..., any style!
- Oh dear!
- No, no! Deer runs too fast.
A guy wants to introduce his girlfriend to his mother.
And he decides to have a little fun with it. He calls his mom up and says, "Ma, you know me so well, how about we play a little game. I'll bring three women over, and by the end of the night you see if you can figure out which one I'm dating." The mom reluctantly agrees.
That night, he shows up at his mother's house with three women. She asks them to come have a seat on the couch. As soon as they sit, she says, "it's the one on the right."
And he says, "Holy cow, how did you know?"
And the mother says, "Because I hate her!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Better formatted version Reporter and Man...
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "s**...?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
A Rabbi, a Hindu holy man, and an Alabama Crimson Tide fan are in a car together, but the car breaks down.
Luckily, there's a farm right nearby. The farmer says, "I only got room for two of ya in the house, so one of you's gonna have to sleep in the barn."
The Hindu holy man decides to go, but comes back to the barn because there's a cow in there, and Cows are sacred in his faith.
The Rabbi takes his friend's place, only to come back in because there's also a pig in the barn, and in the Rabbi's faith, pigs are unclean.
So the Alabama fan grudgingly goes to sleep in the barn. A few minutes later, there's a knock on the door, and standing in the doorway are the cow and the pig.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Reporter and the Man
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "s**...?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, d**..., any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Horse stile
**Reporter**: "Excuse me, may I interview you?" **Man**: "Yes!" **Reporter**: "Name?" **Man**: "Abdul Al-Rhazim." **Reporter**: "s**...?" **Man**: "Three to five times a week." **Reporter**: "No no! I mean male or female?" **Man**: "Yes, male, female… sometimes camel." **Reporter**: "Holy cow!" **Man**: "Yes, cow, sheep… animals in general." **Reporter**: "But isn't that hostile?" **Man**: "Yes, horse style, d**..., any style." **Reporter**: "Oh dear!" **Man**: No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch.
One dark night, two men are walking home after a party and decide to take a shortcut through the cemetery.
Right in the middle of the cemetery they are startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, they find an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.
"Holy cow, dude," one says after catching his breath. "You scared us half to death. We thought you were a ghost! What are you doing, working here so late at night?"
"Those fools!" the old man grumbles. "They misspelled my name!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There's two cows talking in a field.
The first one says, "Did you hear the farmer just bought a new tractor?" The second cow is about to reply when a dog walks up and says, "What's up, ladies?"
The first cow says "Holy s**...! A talking dog!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
2 drunk guys are walking home
Two drunk guys, John and Adam were walking hime from a long day at the pub. The two spot a pile of cow s**... in front of them.
John says, "Is that a pile of cow s**...?"
Adam says, "That's just a pile of mud, idiot. Want me to prove it to you?"
John agrees, and Adam goes over to the pile of s**... and tastes it, the m**....
Adam exclaims, "Holy s**...! It IS cow s**...!"
John, with his high intelligence, goes over too and also has a taste.
"I told you it was cow s**..., good thing we didn't step on it."