The Best 18 Holocaust Survivors Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Holocaust Survivors jokes. There are some holocaust survivors jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these holocaust survivors puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Holocaust Survivors Jokes and Puns

My Jewish friend says this is a non-offensive Holocaust joke

A Holocaust survivor died recently. Goes to Heaven and upon meeting God, he decided to tell a Holocaust joke. Then God said "That's not funny", to which the Jew replied "Oh, I guess you had to be there".

Joke I heard from a 109 year old Holocaust survivor

A Jew gets to heaven after passing and meets god. The Jew tells god a Holocaust joke, but god doesn't laugh. The Jew shrugs and says, "I guess you had to be there to understand".

A Holocaust survivor dies and goes to heaven

On arrival in heaven, the Holocaust survivor tells God a Holocaust joke. God says, "that's not funny." The survivor replies, "ah, well, you had to be there."

So a holocaust survivor wins the lottery...

So Moishe wins the lottery, reporters start asking this Holocaust survivor about his plans for the money. without hesitation he says he is going to commission a statue of adolf Hitler... the reporters are stunned and ask why a survivor of such an atrocity would do such a thing. Moishe rolls up his sleeve - "he gave me the winning numbers"

An old holocaust survivor dies and goes up to heaven....

He asks God,

"How do you get a girl's number in Auschwitz? Roll up her sleeve."

God doesn't laugh.

The Jew shrugs and says, "Eh. I guess you had to be there to understand".

A 90 year old Holocaust survivor told me this joke.

Two Jewish guys are walking wehn one notices a sign on a Catholic church that says β€ŸConvert to Christianity, and we'll give you $100.
The one says to the other, β€Ÿshould we do it?? The other says β€ŸNO!! Are you crazy? The first guy replies β€ŸHey, a hundred dollars is a hundred dollars... I am gonna do it. So he walks in to the church, and little while later, he walks back out. The friend says β€Ÿwell, did you get the money? He replies β€ŸOh that's all you people think about, is not it??

A holocaust survivor goes to heaven...

A holocaust survivor dies and goes to heaven and upon entry through the Pearly Gates, meets God and says, "hey, do you want to hear a Holocaust joke?"

To which God replies, "I guess, go ahead."

After the joke God responds, "that was not funny."

The Holocaust survivor answers in turn, "well, I guess you had to be there."

A 90 year old Holocaust survivor told me this joke.

How do you know when it's time to get a new Dishwasher?

When she cheats on you.


^(That makes it okay, right?)

A Holocaust survivor dies and goes to heaven

He walks up to God and tells God a Holocaust joke. God says that's not funny . The Holocaust survivor says you're right, I guess you had to be there .

My grandpa was one of the Holocaust survivors...

But then again, most guards survived.

A Holocaust survivor dies of old age and goes to heaven.

He tells God a Holocaust joke.
God replies, That's not funny.
He replies, I guess you had to be there.

You can explore holocaust survivors reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean holocaust survivors dad jokes. There are also holocaust survivors puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

How did holocaust survivors fight back the nazis?

Through the art of Jew Jitsu

My grandfather was a Holocaust survivor and made it out of Auschwitz alive.

Then again, most of the Waffen SS did.

Cannibals have historically described human as tasting like pork, while holocaust survivors described burning people smelling like chicken.

It's like these people have never had pork or something!

What's a Holocaust survivor's least favourite movie?

Gone with the Wind

The expected number of Holocaust survivors is expected to double by 2020.

Kikes are evil.

I'm working on a dating app for holocaust survivors


I cancelled my date with a holocaust survivor...

I just don't really dig chicks with tattoos

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the holocaust survivors jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working holocaust survivors piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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