Holocaust Jokes
164 holocaust jokes and hilarious holocaust puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about holocaust that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article contains a list of Holocaust jokes. Some of the jokes are funny, while others are in bad taste.
Quick Jump To
- Short Holocaust Jokes
- Holocaust One Liners
- Holocaust Survivor Jokes
- Jewish Holocaust Jokes
- Holocaust Denier Jokes
- More Holocaust Jokes
Funniest Holocaust Short Jokes
Short holocaust jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The holocaust humour may include short genocide jokes also.
- I told god a Holocaust joke. He didn't laugh. after a moment of awkward silence, I said: "Well I guess you should have been there".
- Son: "Dad why was my sister named Madonna?" Father: "Because your mother always thought the world needed another Madonna"
Son: "Thanks, dad."
Father: "No problem, Holocaust." - A: Whats's worse than a worm in the apple? B: The Holocaust.
A: What's worse than the Holocaust?
B: 5 Million Jews. - Cockroaches can survive a nuclear holocaust but can't survive a slap from a newspaper. This shows how toxic the media is.
- [Offensive] What do you get when you cross a bowl of fruit and the holocaust? Orange Jews from concentrate
- Cockroaches are found to be capable in surviving a nuclear holocaust, but if you swat it with a newspaper it would die instantly This shows how toxic the media is
- What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who follows Judaism, and pizza is a food...
I bet you expected a Holocaust joke. Jew thought wrong. - People act surprised when I tell them my grandfather survived the holocaust. Most of the guards survived didn't they?
- Translating the German joke Germans only tell Germans. I don't like to talk about the Holocaust either. My grandfather died in a concentration camp.
He got drunk and fell off the guard tower. - "The holocaust wasn't that bad" "The holocaust wasn't *that* bad"
"Of course it was!"
"I'll prove it. I'll kill a million jews and one horse"
"Why the horse?"
"See? Nobody cares about the jews!"
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Holocaust One Liners
Which holocaust one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with holocaust? I can suggest the ones about synagogue and concentration camp.
- "Did you sleep well?" "Like God during the Holocaust."
- What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? The holocaust
- Holocaust jokes arent funny anne frankly, I think they're tasteless.
- My aunt is a Jew. And a holocaust denier. We call her Auntie Semite
- What is a holocaust denier's favourite month? JULY
- Holocaust jokes are... out of Mein Kamf-ort zone, Anne Frank-ly I find them offensive.
- Holocaust jokes are not funny Anne frankly, im getting quite sick of them
- What is "Worse then the Holocaust"? Poor Grammar
- I don't like holocaust jokes Anne Frankley I won't stand for them
- What's the sexiest thing about the holocaust The shower scenes
- Did you know it's Holocaust Denial Month? Happy JewLie.
- What did German kids get for Christmas during th holocaust? Easy Bake Ovens
- My grandpa was one of the Holocaust survivors... But then again, most guards survived.
- What is worse than a bug in an apple? holocaust
- What month celebrates Holocaust deniers? July.
Holocaust Survivor Jokes
Here is a list of funny holocaust survivor jokes and even better holocaust survivor puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A 90 year old Holocaust survivor told me this joke. How do you know when it's time to get a new Dishwasher?
When she cheats on you.
...
^(That makes it okay, right?) - A Holocaust survivor dies and goes to heaven He walks up to God and tells God a Holocaust joke. God says that's not funny . The Holocaust survivor says you're right, I guess you had to be there .
- A Holocaust survivor dies of old age and goes to heaven. He tells God a Holocaust joke.
God replies, That's not funny.
He replies, I guess you had to be there. - My grandfather was a Holocaust survivor and made it out of Auschwitz alive. Then again, most of the Waffen SS did.
- Cannibals have historically described human as tasting like pork, while holocaust survivors described burning people smelling like chicken. It's like these people have never had pork or something!
- What's a Holocaust survivor's least favourite movie? Gone with the Wind
- I'm working on a dating app for holocaust survivors Cindr
- I cancelled my date with a holocaust survivor... I just don't really dig chicks with tattoos
- What's it called when a Holocaust survivor visits Autschwitz? Deja Jew
- Why won't the holocaust survivor vote for Bernie Sanders? He doesn't want to feel the Bern.
Jewish Holocaust Jokes
Here is a list of funny jewish holocaust jokes and even better jewish holocaust puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Black jokes are funny, Jewish jokes are funny, Holocaust jokes are funny, 9/11 jokes.... are just plane wrong
- My dad's Christian and my mom's jewish and they LOVE recycling... But it's a little awkward for both me and my grandad on ash wednesday. Sadly he didn't survive the holocaust.
- Did you hear about the Jewish couple that met during the Holocaust? They were star-crossed lovers.
- I complimented my Jewish girlfriend today, but all she did was slap me! Apparently, "You have a smile that could brighten the holocaust" wasn't very appropriate.
- Me: My grandpa died during the holocaust. Others: I didn't know you were Jewish
Me: I'm not, he fell out of the watch tower. - Where do Jewish people go to save money on bulk food? Holocaust-co.
- Say what you want about Jewish women being ugly... But during the Holocaust, they were smokin' hot.
- Where did Jewish Rats go during the Holocaust? Mousechwitz
Holocaust Denier Jokes
Here is a list of funny holocaust denier jokes and even better holocaust denier puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I'm tired of Holocaust deniers! What if we could somehow round them up and systematically kill them?
- I think Holocaust deniers actually took what happened worse than the rest of us... I mean, they're still stuck on the first stage of grief.
- The rise of the alt right has made me a holocaust denier. I have to say no every time they start talking about having another one.
- What are Holocaust Deniers celebrating timorrow? The Fourth of Jew Lie!!!!
- A Jew and an American are sitting on a bus... The Holocaust denier farts.
The Jew says, "That's g**...!"
The Holocaust denier says, "What, a little gas never killed anyone."
Howlingly Hilarious Holocaust Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening
What funny jokes about holocaust you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean massacre jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make holocaust pranks.
A holocaust survivor goes to heaven...
A holocaust survivor dies and goes to heaven and upon entry through the Pearly Gates, meets God and says, "hey, do you want to hear a Holocaust joke?"
To which God replies, "I guess, go ahead."
After the joke God responds, "that was not funny."
The Holocaust survivor answers in turn, "well, I guess you had to be there."
Why did all the b**... survive the holocaust?
Because they had to go to the back of the line
"Could we change the topic, please?"
Two german friends chat and soon they come to the topic of the Holocaust. One of them then looks very sad and asks his friend: "Could we change the topic, please? I've never told you, but my grandpa died in Ausschwitz."
The other responds: "Sure, man, no problem. But may I ask you, how did your grandfather die?"
"Well, one day he got really drunk, fell from a watchtower and broke his neck..."
Best Read with a German Accent (Warning: Holocaust Joke)
One day during the war, h**... gathered his top advisers to hold a top secret meeting. He said "Ok, tomorrow ve vill kill 1,000 Jews and three hamsters". His advisors looked at one another, and one said, "But h**..., vhy ze three hamsters". h**... smiled at his advisers and replied, "You see, no one cares about ze jews!"
What kind of vehicle did they use to transport prisoners to concentration camps during the holocaust?
Ju-Haul
I had a great uncle die during the holocaust.
He fell right out of the guard tower.
Please don't make fun of the Holocaust
My grandfather died by falling off the guard tower
My dad is German and dropped this one on me the other day.
Dad: I never told you this but, my great grandfather died in the holocaust.
Me: Oh, man thats terrible.
Dad: Yeah, he got really drunk one night and fell off of the guard tower.
I tried to take my wife to a site where Holocaust victims were buried
She wouldn't go because she's anti-cemetic.
What does it take to finish a race?
More than a Holocaust
What's the difference between the Holocaust and the Boston Marathon b**...?
The Boston Marathon b**... ended a race.
What's worse than 1 slice of burnt toast?
The holocaust.
I'm getting really sick of all the Holocaust jokes...
My great grandfather died at Auschwitz, so I find these jokes really offensive. Granted, he fell out of a guard tower and broke his neck, but I think that still counts.
What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? Finding half a worm in it. And what's worse than that?
The holocaust
What's the difference between the Holocaust and Holocaust jokes?
The jokes actually happened.
A man walks into a bar and sees h**......
A man walks into a bar and sees h**....
"Hey, is that h**...?" he asks the bartender.
"Yeah that's Adolf and his right hand man. Have a cold beer and go introduce yourself!"
The man gets a nice cold bottle from the bartender and makes his way over to h**....
"Hello Adolf."
"How are you?" Adolf asks.
"Good, what are you doing?"
h**...'s right hand man chimes in. "We are going over plans for World War III."
"Ah, what are your plans for it?" the bar visiting man asks.
"Well, we will kill 1 million Jews and 1 bicycle repair man," Adolf's right hand man answers.
"Why are you going to kill a bicycle repair man?" asks the man.
h**... becomes excited and turns to his right hand man.
"Ha! See? I told you nobody would care about the Jews."
--
The Holocaust is a terrible thing. This is a terrible joke. However, it has made people laugh, even Jewish people because it is very unexpected. I have no issue with Jewish men or women.
Two historians are discussing about the Holocaust
\- The holocaust wasn't that bad; says one of them.
\- Are you out of your mind?; the other one replies.
\- What if I were to kill 6 million Jews and one actress?
\- But why the actress?
\- See, nobody ever cares about the Jews.
How did holocaust survivors fight back the n**...?
Through the art of Jew Jitsu
What does having s**... with me and the holocaust have in common?
There are people who still deny it ever happened.
If h**... were a black supremacist English teacher what would the Holocaust be called?
White-out.
Trump protester: it's impossible to round up 11 million people and ship them somewhere.
Trump supporter: why are you denying the Holocaust
So I heard Microsoft pulled the plug after their chat robot slung slurs, ripped Obama and denied the Holocaust...
I guess there wasn't enough room for two Trumps in the Republican party.
An Atheist...
Walks up to the Pearly Gates. God says, "I will let you in if you can make me laugh."
The Atheist asks, "who is the greatest Jewish baker of all time? h**.... He made over 60,000 Jews toast."
God looks at him and says, "A holocaust joke? That is not really funny."
The atheist replied, "Eh, I guess you should have been there."
People always keep making jokes about how people died in the Holocaust, my grandpa died during the Holocaust.
He fell off of a guard tower and broke his neck.
So a holocaust survivor wins the lottery...
So Moishe wins the lottery, reporters start asking this Holocaust survivor about his plans for the money. without hesitation he says he is going to commission a statue of adolf h**...... the reporters are stunned and ask why a survivor of such an atrocity would do such a thing. Moishe rolls up his sleeve - "he gave me the winning numbers"
Holocaust jokes aren't funny. My great grandfather died in Auschwitz.
He fell off of a watch tower.
Why do White Supremists call this month "The Holocaust"?
Because it's just another Jew Lie
(The Holocaust is real and this is just a joke)
I don't like jokes about the Holocaust. My grandfather died in a concentration camp.
He fell out of a guard tower.
How many n**... does it take to deny the holocaust?
Nein nein nein!!!
I can't stand holocaust jokes, they hit too close to home. My grandfather died in a concentration camp.
He fell off one of the watchtowers
It's a fact that h**...'s mother was a female
so you can blame women for the holocaust
As a man of Jewish descent
As a man of Jewish descent I don't like jokes about us Jews.
I think they often cement prejudices and misinterpretations of the Jewish people and culture.
But every now and then even I enjoy a good laugh and feel that I shouldn't be so serious about everything.
So I have a very good joke about the holocaust here if anyone wants to buy it?
What do you call a muslim holocaust?
Sand Sanitizer.
"No one cares about the jews"
"Yeah, they do"
"No they don't. During the holocaust i killed 3 jews and one clown"
"Why one clown?"
"See? No one cares about the jews"
You know what they always say about the Holocaust.
I did Nat-zi that coming.
Two friends are having a conversation about World War 2
The holocaust wasn't that bad.
Of course it was!
I'm going to go out and kill a million Jews and one clown.
Why the clown?
See, no one cares about the Jews.
So my friend tells me "The holocaust wasn't that bad."
I say "Of course it was!"
He replies "I'm going to go out and kill a million Jews and one clown."
I say "Why the clown?"
He says "See, no one cares about the Jews."
What's the difference between the holocaust and a jolly-good fellow?
Nobody can *deny* a jolly-good fellow!
Multijokes: How many Jews can you fit in a family car.
Standard Answ**e**r: Three in the back, two in the front and six-million in the ashtray.
Follow-Up Answ**e**r: Three in the back, two in the front and none anywhere else because the Holocaust never happened.
Alternate Answ**e**r: Three in the back, two in the front and a family of eight hiding under the roof-rack.
Efficient Answ**e**r: Not enough, we'll need to use trains.
Anti-Joke Answ**e**r: Please tell me, myself and some Jewish friends are going to Florida but ~~cannot afford~~ are too-cheap for plane tickets.
Racist Answ**e**r: Throw a dollar in there and they'll all get in.
Could you guys not make jokes about the holocaust here? My grandfather died in the holocaust, and it's really offending me.
He fell out of one of the guard towers at Auschwitz
Everyone keeps telling me that the holocaust happened..
But I don't know if it Israel.
Holocaust jokes aren't as funny when you have a relative that died in a concentration camp.
To be fair though, if the fall from the gun tower hadn't killed Opa, the alcohol would have.
What's worse than missing your bus in the morning
The Holocaust
My biology teacher said there is no evolutionary advantage to blue eyes.
She must have never heard of the holocaust.
You guys really shouldn't make jokes about the Holocaust or concentration camps...
My great-grandfather died at a concentration camp. He fell from the watch-tower.
What two things will survive a nuclear holocaust?
Cockroaches and Kieth Richards
I'm really getting sick of these holocaust jokes
My grandfather died in the holocaust. He fell right off the watchtower
The Holocaust really proved one thing...
It's the *Jews* who are the master race
Why don't the Germans find holocaust jokes funny?
Because they have no sense of humor.
my first time having s**... was like the Holocaust
I just wish it would have lasted longer
Whats funnier than Amy Schumer?
The Holocaust
h**... was a hero...
He single handedly ended the Holocaust, and killed one of the most evil people from history!
What's the similarity between the moon landings and the holocaust?
They both use a lot of gas to send people far away
My dearest grandpa died in the holocaust...
He fell off the watchtower.
One nematode asked another-
"Can I come over to your place if humans set off a nuclear holocaust? And how will we survive?"
The other one replies "If you encyst."
Appreciating a joke
As an epileptic, I appreciate jokes about epilepsy. As a Jew, I appreciate Jewish and holocaust jokes. As a Caucasian, I enjoy the very few white jokes.
If only I was an Oompa Loompa, then I can enjoy Donald Trump Jokes.
h**... may be responsible for the holocaust
but EA is responsible for the hall of cost
So many jokes about the Holocaust but how would you feel if your grandparent died in Auschwitz?
My grandad did, he fell off the guard tower.
A blonde is proposed by her fiancee.
"Sara, will you marry me?"
"Yes, I will!"
"This ring is from my grandmother. She survived the holocaust with this."
"I didn't know they gave rings out to people during the holocaust"
Holocaust jokes are nothing to laugh about
Ann Frankly they shouldn't be tolerated
In honor of holocaust rememberance day
I told god a holocaust joke.
He didn't get it.
I said I guess you had to be there.
