Holmes And Watson Jokes
100 holmes and watson jokes and hilarious holmes and watson puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about holmes and watson that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Holmes And Watson Short Jokes
Short holmes and watson jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The holmes and watson humour may include short sherlock and watson jokes also.
- Sherlock Holmes Sherlock Holmes is inspecting a bed. He says to Watson, "this bed is missing something." Watson replies "no sheet sherlock."
- Watson found Holmes busily painting the front door bright yellow. "What on earth is that, Holmes?"
"It's a lemon entry, my dear Watson." - Just wrote this How does Sherlock Holmes find out what TV shows are on?
He just asks Watson.
(Works better out loud) - That is astounding Holmes! How did you deduce it was lithium poisoning that ended that poor chap's life? Element three, my dear Watson.
- What did Sherlock Holmes say when Dr. Watson asked him what grade an eight year-old was in? Elementary, my dear Watson!
- Watson: what is another name for the digestive tract? Holmes: Alimentary, my dear Watson.
- After Sherlock Holmes received an amputation below the ankle, why did he call his new prosthetic "The Game?" Because, my dear Watson, The Game is a foot
- What did Watson say when he and Holmes got stranded on a desert island? "No ship Sherlock"
- Watson, Sherlock Holmes's faithful assistant, asked, "What's a ten-letter word meaning 'supplying nourishment'?" Sherlock replied, "Alimentary, my dear Watson."
- Say, Holmes, can you tell me... ...what could be the cause of this terrible indigestion?
It's alimentary, my dear Watson.
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Holmes And Watson One Liners
Which holmes and watson one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with holmes and watson? I can suggest the ones about sherlock holmes and tortoise and hare.
- Watson didn't make much money working for Sherlock Holmes Too many deductions
- What type of school did Sherlock Holmes go to as a kid? Elementary my dear Watson
- What did Sherlock Holmes say after being asked to get a paternity test? Watson?
- Watson asks Holmes What type of rock is this? It has many layers compressed together.
- How do you get Dr Watson out of a pub? "Come on now, don't you have Holmes to go to?"
- Sherlock Holmes, how is the periodic table structured? It's elementally, my dear Watson.
- Why was watson a good mortgage agent? He works well with holmes
- What Did Gay Sherlock Holmes Say To His Sidekick? Alimentary my dear Watson, alimentary.
- Where does pervert Sherlock Holmes pick up girls? Elementary my dear Watson
- What did Sherrock Holmes say to his partner? Sedimentary my dear Watson!
- What is Sherlock Holmes' favorite tree? A-lemon-tree my dear Watson.
- What's the best type of table for a chemistry lab Holmes? Elementy, dear Watson.
- Sherlock Holmes & Doctor Watson went on a camping trip...
- Why did Sherlock Holmes get a colonoscopy? It's alimentary, Watson.
- What do you suppose broke this window Mr. Holmes? It's a limb entry, my dear Watson!
Holmes And Watson Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about holmes and watson you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean stephen hawkins jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make holmes and watson pranks.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they laid down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies, and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?" Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "It tells me that someone has stolen our tent."
Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson are hiking.
They hiked all day long and then, having gotten tired, unpacked and quickly retired.
Holmes wakes up deep into the night, wakes Watson and says "Watson, do you see the bright stars and do you notice how clear the sky is? What can you deduce from it?"
Watson yawns and tries to play the game.
LWell, this clearly tells us the weather tomorrow is going to be dry and sunny."
"No, my friend. It’s much simpler than that. Someone has stolen our tent."
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I googled the world's funniest joke
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night, Holmes woke Watson up and said, "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see".
Watson said: "I see millions and millions of stars",
Holmes asked: "And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson: " Well if there are millions of stars and even few of those contain planets, it's quite likely there are many planets like Earth out there, it's even possible that there is other forms of life out there"
Holmes replied: " Watson, you Idiot, it means someone stole our tent!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson....
...were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see." Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars." Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." And Holmes said: "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent."
Sherlock Holmes and Watson go on a camping trip
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson went on a camping trip. After sharing a good meal and a bottle of wine, they retire to their tent for the night. Several hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
"Watson, wake up and tell me what you see?"
"I see millions of stars."
"And what do you deduce from that, Watson?"
Watson replies, "Astronomically, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and we are small and insignificant. Horologically, it tells me that it's about 3 AM. Meteorologically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all-powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Sherlock?"
Holmes rolled his eyes. "Watson, you idiot! It tells me that someone has stolen our tent!"
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night, the fire dwindling nearby, Holmes said: "Watson, look up and tell me what you see".
Watson said "I see a fantastic panorama of countless of stars".
Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"
Watson: "Astronomically, it suggests to me that if there are billions of other galaxies that have roughly similar stellar population densities as represented by my view, that, potentially, trillions of planets may be associated with such a galactic and, therefore, stellar population. Allowing for similar chemical distribution throughout the cosmos it may be reasonably implied that life-and possibly intelligent life-may well fill the universe.
Also, being a believer, theologically, it tells me that the vastness of space may be yet another suggestion of the greatness of God and that we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, the blackness of the sky and the crispness of the stellar images tells me that there is low humidity and stable air and therefore we are most likely to enjoy a beautiful day tomorrow.
Why? - What does it tell you, Mr. Holmes?"
Holmes: "Someone stole our tent".
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping
trip...
After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they
retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours
later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful
friend.
'Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you
see.
I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes, replies
Watson.
And what do you deduce from that?
Watson ponders for a minute.
Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are
millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately
a quarter past three.
Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a
beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that
God is all powerful and that we are a small and
insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell
you, Holmes?
Holmes is silent for a moment. 'Watson, you idiot!
he says. Someone has stolen our tent!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Sherlock Holmes & Dr Watson's Camping Trip
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the sky, and tell me what you see." Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars." Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." And Holmes said: "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Adventures Of p**...-Sherlock
How would you like your school girls today, Mr. Holmes?
-Elementary, my dear Watson.
What does it tell you, Holmes?
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.
I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes replies Watson.
And what do you deduce from that?
Watson ponders for a minute. Well,
Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe.
But what does it tell you, Holmes?
Holmes is silent for a moment.
Watson, you idiot! he says. Someone has stolen our tent!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Old joke is old but still great
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the sky, and tell me what you see."
Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars."
Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life."
And Holmes said: "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent."
Holmes and Watson on a camping trip
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend awake. Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.
Watson replied, I see millions and millions of stars.
What does that tell you? Holmes questioned.
Watson pondered for a minute. Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent.
I don't know if this has been posted before but it's one of my favourite jokes
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes." Replies Watson.
"And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson ponders for a minute. "Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately quarter to four. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"
"Watson, you idiot!" He exclaims. "Someone has stolen our tent!"
Sherlock Holmes and his trusty associate Dr. John Watson are strolling leisurely through London's botanical gardens.
They are investigating the mysterious disappearance of a botanist who specialized in arboreal citrus.
Watson squints, focusing his gaze on something across the gardens. He gasps in surprise and grabs Sherlock's arm. He points at the thing that has captivated his attention and asks "Sherlock, is that a lime tree?"
Sherlock offers a pleasant chuckle and turns to Watson slowly, taking a slow drag from his tar-black pipe. After exhaling the blue-grey smoke into the moist air of the gardens, he says:
It's a lemon tree, my dear Watson.
Has been posted before, but one of my favorites.
Sherlock Holmes and John Watson go on a camping trip. In the middle of the night, Sherlock wakes up John and says, "Watson, what do you see when you look up at the sky?"
Watson looks up and says, "I see millions of stars."
Sherlock says, "Well, what can you deduce from that?"
After a moment's thought, Watson says, "Since there are so many stars,logically some of them must have planets orbiting them. And if some of those stars have planets, logically some must be able to support life. And if some could support life, logically some must. Therefore, I deduce that we are not alone in the universe. What do you think?"
Sherlock says, "No, Watson, you idiot, it means somebody stole our tent."
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping. At about 3:30 in the morning Sherlock wakes up Watson and says to him:
"Look up into the sky, Watson, what do you see?"
Watson replies,"I see that it is very clear out, and that the moon is full."
"And what do you deduct from that, Watson?" Sherlock asks.
"I deduct that is is about 3:30 in the morning, and that tomorrow will be a clear, sunny day. tomorrow night the moon will begin to wane," Watson answered. Then he asked," what do you deduct from that, Sherlock?" Sherlock replied:
WATSON YOU IDIOT, SOMEONE HAS STOLEN OUR TENT!
anyone interested in a good Sherlock Holmes joke?
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson went on a camping trip. After sharing a good meal and a bottle of Petrie wine, they retire to their tent for the night.
At about 3 AM, Holmes nudges Watson and asks, "Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see?"
Watson said, "I see millions of stars."
Holmes asks, "And, what does that tell you?"
Watson replies, "Astronomically, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and we are small and insignificant. Horologically, it tells me that it's about 3 AM. Meteorologically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you, Holmes?"
Holmes retorts, "Someone stole our tent."
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip.
After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Watson awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
"Holmes, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Holmes replied, "I see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
Sherlock says
"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets."
"Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo."
"Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three."
"Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant."
"Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow."
"What does it tell you, Watson?"
Watson was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Holmes, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were going camping
They pitched their tent under the twinkling start and went to sleep. Sometime during the night Holmes woke Watson up and said:
"Watson, look up at the stars and tell me what you see."
Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars."
Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson Replied: "Well, if there are millions and millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there might also be life."
And Holmes said: "Watson you idiot!, It means that someone has stolen our tent."
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping
Sorry if re-post, a friend sent it to me over a text, and I thought it was worthy enough to go on here!
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are on a camping trip. After dinner, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged Watson.
"Watson, look up at the sky. tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see billions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
Watson pondered for a minute.
"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you, Holmes?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!"
Sherlock Holmes and Watson are on a camping trip...
and in the middle of the night, Sherlock nudges Watson awake. He says "Watson, look up, and tell me what you see."
Watson says "well, I see the stars, and that makes me think about our place in the universe. In the face of such cosmic vastness, aren't we really just insignificant? And what of life on other planets? In all the universe, ours can surely not be the only planet to support living beings. Perhaps one day we shall be able to reach the stars and find out for ourselves. Why do you ask, Sherlock? What do you think of when you look up?"
Sherlock replies: "somebody stole our tent".
A Sherlock Holmes Joke
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner , they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.
I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes replies Watson.
And what do you deduce from that?
Watson ponders for a minute. Well,
Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe.
But what does it tell you, Holmes?
Holmes is silent for a moment.
Watson, you idiot! he says. Someone has stolen our tent!
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson Go Camping...
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of red, they lay down for the night and went to sleep.
Some hours later Holmes woke up, nudged his faithful friend and said, "Watson, I want you to look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson said, "I see millions and millions of stars." Sherlock said, "And what does that tell you?"
After a minute or so of pondering Watson said, "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Metereologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day today. What does it tell you?"
Holmes was silent for about 30 seconds and said, "Watson, you idiot! Someone has stolen our tent!"
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip
In the middle of the night Holmes wakes up and gives Dr. Watson a nudge. "Watson," he says, "look up in the sky and tell me what you see."
"I see millions of stars, Holmes," says Watson.
"And what do you conclude from that, Watson?"
Watson thinks for a moment. "Well," he says, "astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meterologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I see that God is all-powerful, and we are small and insignificant. What does it tell you, Holmes?"
"Watson... someone has stolen our tent."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were going camping...
They pitched their tents under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the night Holmes woke Watson up and said "Watson, look up at the sky. Tell me what you see."
"I see millions and millions of stars" replied Watson; to which Holmes said "And what do you deduce from that?"
"Well, if there are millions of stars and systems, and if even a few of those have planets, it's quite likely that there are some planets out there like Earth. And if there are even a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life.
And Holmes replied "Watson, you idiot, it means somebody stole your tent!"
**
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Dr Watson asks Sherlock Holmes...
"Holmes, why are you spreading fruit juice on my buttocks?"
"Lemon entry dear Watson, Lemon entry"
Sherlock and Watson Go Camping
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
Watson pondered for a minute.
"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets."
"Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo."
"Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three."
"Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant."
"Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow."
"What does it tell you, Holmes?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!"
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping
They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.
Watson replied: I see millions and millions of stars.
Holmes said: and what do you deduce from that?
Watson replied: Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.
And Holmes said: Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip
They set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replies: "I see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
Watson ponders a minute. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. "Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent."
Sherlock and Watson go camping
Sherlock and Dr. Watson go camping. They pitch their tent and go to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes wakes Watson and says: "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replies, "I see millions and millions of stars." Holmes asks, "And what do you deduce from that?" "Well, if there are millions of stars," Watson says, "there must be some with planets, and some of those planets must be like Earth. And if there are planets like Earth, there might be planets with life." And Holmes says, "Watson, you idiot, it means someone stole our tent."
Sherlock Holmes and Watson are in a greenhouse when Watson says "Is that an orange bush, Holmes?"
Holmes replies, "It's a lemon tree, my dear Watson"
So Holmes and Watson go camping...
After a long trek through the woods they pitch their tent and turn in. In the middle of the night, Holmes wakes Watson up and asks him "Look up in the sky. What do you see?"
To that, Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars"
Holmes followed up with another question: "What do you deduce from that?" to which Watson answered "If there are millions of stars, and even a few of them are planets, it means that there should be planets out there like Earth out there and if there are, that means that there is indeed other life outside of Earth"
Holmes looked him square in the face and said "Watson you idiot it means someone stole our tent!"
Sherlock and Watson take a vacation
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
Watson pondered for a minute.
"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets."
"Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo."
"Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three."
"Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant."
"Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow."
"What does it tell you, Holmes?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!"
Doggy Sherlock Holmes was investigating a case...
Doggy Sherlock: Any leads?
Doggy Watson: Yes, Holmes. Two.
Doggy Sherlock: Excellent, lets take them and go walkies.
Watson was hosting a party.
Sherlock Holmes, however, was upset when there was nothing to put his tortilla chip in.
"No dip, Sherlock."
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson are busy with yet another complicated case.
Suddenly, Holmes seizes a chunk of blood-spattered limestone from the ground.
"What is it, Holmes?" asks Watson, eagerly.
Holmes turns and replies, gravely, "It's sedimentary, my dear Watson.
What did Sherlock Holme's assistant tell his son when he wouldn't stop asking questions?
WATSON?!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Sherlock Holmes smeared lemons over Dr. Watson's backside
"Why are you doing that, Holmes?" Dr. Watson asked.
"Lemon-entry my dear Watson", Holmes replied.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Sherlock Holmes and Dr.Watson are camping
At three in the morning, Holmes wakes Watson. "Watson, look up. What can you deduce from what you see?"
Watson ponders for a while. "From the starry sky? Astronomically, there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, Saturn is in Leo. Theologically, God is great and we are small and insignificant. Horologically, it's about 3 AM. Meteorologically, we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What do you deduce, Holmes?"
"I deduce that you're an idiot, Watson. If we can see the stars, then our tent has been stolen!"
Sherlock Holmes and Watson are camping...
After dinner, they drink some whisky and fall asleep in their tent. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and asks Watson if he sees anything particular.
Watson:
Watson:
Holmes:
Sorry for the poor english, but it's not my native language.
Holmes, someone has put miracle grow on this freshly dug grave.
The plot thickens, my dear Watson.
Sherlock Holmes and Watson are out camping
They set up their tent and go to sleep. Watson starts snoring, but Sherlock is a light sleeper. After a while. Sherlock wakes up. He looks up at the stars and thinks a bit. Then he wakes Watson up and asks, Look up at the stars! Do you know what that means? Watson says, Yes, there are stars everywhere. Which means there are planets everywhere. Which means there could be life anywhere, and so much more. Holmes replies, No, my dear Watson, it means somebody stole our tent.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The world's funniest joke
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said:
"Watson, look up at the sky, and tell me what you see."
Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars."
Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it's quite likely that there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." And Holmes said:
"Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent."
The World's Greatest Detective.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were camping. They'd gone to sleep beneath the night sky, when Holmes awoke and shook his companion.
"Watson, look at the sky and tell me what you see."
"I see millions of brilliant stars," Watson answered.
"And what does that tell you?"
"Astronomically, it tells me that there are countless galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically speaking, Saturn is in Leo. Theologically, I see that God is all-powerful and that we are small and insignificant. And you, Holmes?"
Holmes paused. "What I see, Watson, is that someone has stolen our tent!"
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson was taking the train
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson was taking the train one day when they passed a huge flock of sheep in a field. As quickly as they had observed the fluffy cloud it had passed out of view.
"So many sheep!" Watson exclaimed. "I wonder how many there were?"
"Elementary, Dear Watson. There were 167 sheep." Sherlock calmly stated.
"Holmes, are you really telling me you managed to count them all in that brief moment?" Watson inquired.
"Don't be silly, Watson. I counted the legs and divided by four."
Dr. Watson was again impressed by Sherlock Holmes' diverse set of skills, as Watson asked inquisitively as to what tree Sherlock was planting...
To which Sherlock replied, Why, that's a lemon tree, my dear Watson.
So, where is your girlfriend from, Holmes?
Elementary, my dear Watson,
Elementary School.
Sherlock Holmes shares good news with Watson at a pub one night...
"I've gone and found myself a girlfriend!" exclaims Holmes.
"Well, right on!" said Watson. "You must tell me more about her."
"She's on the short side, extremely innocent, and she's a determined, hard-working schoolgirl."
"A schoolgirl, eh? Good to hear she cares about her education. But what kind of school does she go to?"
Sherlock smiles, and his face lights up with pride as he proudly responds:
"Elementary, my dear Watson."
Watson: But Holmes, how did you solve the case of the Rock Killer?
Sedimentary, my dear Watson
Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson decide to go camping together
They set up their tent, go inside and fall asleep.
In the middle of the night, Sherlock wakes Watson up
"Watson, look up and tell me what you see"
Watson replies, "I see thousands and thousands of stars"
Sherlock then says, "And what can you conclude from that?"
Watson thinks for a moment and replies, "Well if there are a thousand stars, there could be stars with planets such as Earth, and therefore life on other---"
Sherlock then interrupts him, "No Watson, it means somebody stole our tent, you idiot."
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night, Holmes said: Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see?"
Watson said, "I see millions and millions of stars."
Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"
Watson: "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorogically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
Holmes: "Somebody stole our tent."
Sherlock Holmes and Watson are camped in the woods while investigating a case.
They go to sleep. Several hours later, Holmes wakes Watson. He says, "Watson, look up and tell me what you see."
Watson says, "Well, I see thousands of stars."
"And what does that tell you?"
"Well, I think it means that we'll have another nice day tomorrow. How about you?"
"To me, it means someone has stolen our tent."
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were going camping.
They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said, Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see. Watson replied: I see millions and millions of stars. Holmes said: And what do you deduce from that? Watson replied, Well, if there's millions of stars, and if even a few of these have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there must be life. And Holmes said, Watson, you idiot, it means someone stole our tent.
Just wanted to share an old joke I read a long time back.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson once go camping. In the middle of the night, Watson is woken up violently by Sherlock. "Watson, look up and tell me what you see." "The stars are shining so beautifully tonight." To which Sherlock replies,"No, you idiot! Our tent's been stolen."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Sherlock Holmes and Watson are out hunting. Watson has a buck in his sights, when holmes throws a rock near it, and, frightened, it runs away. "What the h**... was that?!" He asks. Holmes looks at him for a second..
It sedimentary. My deer, Watson.
Sherlock Holmes and Watson went camping
They set up their tent under the starry night sky.
In the middle of the night, Holmes wakes up his friend and says, "Watson look up at the stars and tell me what you can deduce."
Watson replies, "I see millions of stars, and if even if only a few of them have planets, it's quite likely that some of them are exactly Earth-like planets. And if there are a few Earth-like planets, there might be life."
Holmes then replies, "Watson, you idiot! Someone stole our tent."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
S. Holmes: Do you know what constipated means Watson?
Watson: No s**..., Sherlock?
(Cr
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were taking the train one day when they passed a huge flock of sheep in a field.
As quickly as they had observed the fluffy cloud it had passed out of view.
"So many sheep!" Watson exclaimed. "I wonder how many there were?"
"Elementary, Dear Watson. There were 167 sheep." Sherlock calmly stated.
"Holmes, are you really telling me you managed to count them all in that brief moment?" Watson inquired.
"Don't be silly, Watson. I counted the legs and divided them by four."