Holme Jokes
9 holme jokes and hilarious holme puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about holme that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
S. Holmes: Do you know what constipated means Watson?
Watson: No s**..., Sherlock?
(Cr
Mr. Holmes gets into a car accident...
He arrives at the emergency room but there's a fair wait. So he get's some tea from the vending machine and it's quite good. Once his time comes he's brought in and admitted to a room. He's then brought a meal from the kitchen and soon calls in the nurse.
"Nurse, I can't drink this horrid tea!" he says.
"Well what do you want from me?" she asks.
"MORE E.R. TEA!!"
Say, Holmes, can you tell me...
...what could be the cause of this terrible indigestion?
It's alimentary, my dear Watson.
Holmes, someone has put miracle grow on this freshly dug grave.
The plot thickens, my dear Watson.
My Mexican friends just bought a computer.
Now he can right his esé in his holme!
So Holmes and Watson go camping...
After a long trek through the woods they pitch their tent and turn in. In the middle of the night, Holmes wakes Watson up and asks him "Look up in the sky. What do you see?"
To that, Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars"
Holmes followed up with another question: "What do you deduce from that?" to which Watson answered "If there are millions of stars, and even a few of them are planets, it means that there should be planets out there like Earth out there and if there are, that means that there is indeed other life outside of Earth"
Holmes looked him square in the face and said "Watson you idiot it means someone stole our tent!"
Sherlock Holme shakes my hand
Sherlock: So, did you wash your hands yet?
Holmes and Watson on a camping trip
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend awake. Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.
Watson replied, I see millions and millions of stars.
What does that tell you? Holmes questioned.
Watson pondered for a minute. Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent.
What does it tell you, Holmes?
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.
I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes replies Watson.
And what do you deduce from that?
Watson ponders for a minute. Well,
Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe.
But what does it tell you, Holmes?
Holmes is silent for a moment.
Watson, you idiot! he says. Someone has stolen our tent!
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