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Holiday Season Jokes

38 holiday season jokes and hilarious holiday season puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about holiday season that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Holiday Season Short Jokes

Short holiday season jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The holiday season humour may include short christmas holiday jokes also.

  1. Some of us live thousands of miles away from most of our relatives and can't be with them this holiday season... ... Please don't be jealous
  2. What do you call two spices saying hello to each other during the holiday? Seasons greetings
  3. I wanted to volunteer and do something good this holiday season... So I helped these dyslexic kids write letters to Satan.
  4. Why does the Devil hate the holiday Season? Because he gets so many letters from dyslexic children.
  5. If you ever have trouble spelling the word "Christmas" this holiday season, just remember: There's Noël.
  6. PSA: Police are warning against large amounts of fake $1 bills this holiday season Look out for hot singles in your area.
  7. The holiday season is coming up. Every year I make my parents something. I make them disappointed.
  8. What's the difference between a fedora and a fedina? "A fedina? What's a fedina?"
    "*a-Spaghetti and meatballs!*"
    Try it out. Just try it. This holiday season.
  9. A sales assistant advised me on the liquor to buy for the holiday season recently She was my spirit guide.
  10. In this holiday season I really gotta give a shout out to those who've always been around for me. Mr. Chen and his family at the restaurant.

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Holiday Season One Liners

Which holiday season one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with holiday season? I can suggest the ones about happy holidays and holiday shopping.

  1. Looking for a cheap gift this holiday season? Why not buy a senator???
  2. What's the only non-fat soul food during the holiday season? Kool-Aid
  3. As we begin the holiday season, remember... The Alamo
  4. What was the top-selling wearable for child molesters this holiday season?
  5. The main thing I want this holiday season is for someone to wake me when it's over.
  6. Q: What's the best language to describe the hectic holiday shopping season? A: Russian
  7. What do black people drink during the Holiday Season? n**...

Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Holiday Season Jokes

What funny jokes about holiday season you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean holiday celebrated jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make holiday season pranks.

Guys, please don't drink and drive this holiday season!

If you want to drive safely we can help.
Please call us. We have senior experienced people of all ages
Our volunteers will come and drink for you so you can drive safely

Holiday scams

A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer and hands over a few singles to pay for it. The bartender picks up the $1 bills and carefully scutinizes them, holding them up to the light. "What are you doing?" the guy asks. "There's a new scam going around this holiday season," the bartender replies. "People are passing around counterfeit $1 bills, so be careful. "So, what you're telling me is I should keep an eye out for hot singles in my area," the guy says.

Eggs Benedict

A man goes to breakfast during the Christmas season. He orders eggs Benedict from the server since it's the special.
The server returns several minutes later with the dish, steaming on a an old metal hubcap from a car.
What's the meaning of this? The man exclaims.
It's the holiday special, replied the waiter. There's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.

Since Tiger Woods is back in the news and it's the holiday season....

What is the difference between Santa Claus and tiger woods?
Santa stopped at 3 h**...'s

With the Holiday Season right around the corner

The Transvestites of America Union would like to remind you to eat, drink, and be Mary.

We should all be thanking Subway for their humanitarian efforts this holiday season...

...as their former spokesperson, Jared, touched many children...

Did you hear about the robots they are using to shoo away the homeless in SF this holiday season?

Roombah humbug!

Thought I would do something admirable this holiday season and donate a kidney

but I got nothing but grief from the Salvation Army bell ringer who's bucket I was trying to shove it in

This holiday season, get your girl a Jared Diamond

...but get her Collapse--she's probably already read Guns, Germs, and Steel.

TOA!

The Transvestites of America want to wish everyone a happy holiday season, remember to eat, drink, and be Mary.

What happens when there's a hot woman named "Town" during the holiday season?

Santa Claus is coming to town.

For the upcoming holiday season, I was thinking of making my parents the same thing I do every year.

I make them disappointed.

Please be extra careful on the roads this Holiday Season

There have been various reports of men getting very heavily drunk and allowing their wives to drive!

What do female reindeer do for fun during the holiday season?

They go into town and blow a few hundred bucks.

In light of the holiday Season... What do you call the alphabet with only 25 letters?

Noe(L)
...no L.... im going to walk away now.. sorry

The holiday season: A deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.