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Holiday Inn Jokes

15 holiday inn jokes and hilarious holiday inn puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about holiday inn that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Holiday Inn Short Jokes

Short holiday inn jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The holiday inn humour may include short hotel room jokes also.

  1. So I rang the tourist office and asked:- 'What's the quickest way from the Holiday Inn to the museum?'
    'Are you walking or driving?'
    'Driving.'
    'Well, that would be the quickest way.'
  2. Jesus walks..... Jesus walks into a holiday inn, tosses three nails on the counter and asks, " Can you put me up for the night?"
  3. What's green and sings and dances fantastic? Fred Asparagus. (I'm sorry, Holiday Inn was on TCM tonight.)
  4. Why doesn't Dr. James White eat breakfast at the Holiday Inn? They have terrible *eggs*egesis.
  5. Creed front-man Chris Stapp is broke and living in a Holiday Inn... Look on the bright side Chris, this is proof there is a god!
  6. Why did the holiday inn change its ne to comfort in? Because the jehovah witness' dont do holidays and the doors are closer together.

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Holiday Inn One Liners

Which holiday inn one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with holiday inn? I can suggest the ones about hotel reservation and hotel.

  1. Cross between a Holiday inn and Fidel Castro You get an infidel.

Holiday Inn Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about holiday inn you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean motel jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make holiday inn pranks.

A college math professor and his wife are both 60 years old.

One evening the wife comes home and finds a note from her husband that says, "My dear, now that you are 60 years old, there are some things you no longer do for me. I am at the Holiday Inn with my 20-year-old student. Don't bother waiting up for me."
He returns home late that night to find a note from his wife: "You, my dear, are also 60 years old and there are also things I need that you're not giving me. So I am at the Motel 6 with one of your 20-year-old students. Being a math professor, I'm sure you know that 20 goes into 60 way more than 60 goes into 20. So, don't you wait up for me."

Maths Teacher told us this spicy one today

A college math professor and his wife are both 60 years old.
One evening the wife comes home and finds a note from her husband.
It says: "My dear, now that you are 60 years old, there are some things you no longer do for me. I am at the Holiday Inn with my 20-year-old student. Don't bother waiting up for me."
He returns home late that night to find a note from his wife: "You, my dear, are also 60 years old and there are also things I need that you're not giving me. So, I am at the Motel 6 with one of your 20-year-old students. Being a math professor, I'm sure you know that 20 goes into 60 way more than 60 goes into 20. So, don't YOU wait up for ME."

Simple mathematics

A college math professor and his wife are both 60 years old.
One evening the wife comes home and finds a note from her husband that says, "My dear, now that you are 60 years old, there are some things you no longer do for me.
I am at the Holiday Inn with my 20-year-old student. Don't bother waiting up for me."
He returns home late that night to find a note from his wife: "You, my dear, are also 60 years old and there are also things I need that you're not giving me. So I am at the Motel 6 with one of your 20-year-old students.
Being a math professor, I'm sure you know that 20 goes into 60 way more than 60 goes into 20. So, don't you wait up for me."

Old couple goes to s**... therapist

A couple, both age 78, went to a s**... therapist's office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"
The man said, "Will you watch us have s**...?"
The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.
When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have s**...," and charged them $50.
This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have s**... with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave.
Finally, the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?"
"We're not trying to find out anything," the husband replied. "She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $90. The Hilton charges $108. We do it here for $50...and I get $43 back from Medicare

A MATH PROFESSOR'S MISTAKE

A college math professor and his wife are both 60 years old. One evening the wife comes home and finds a note from her husband that says, "My dear, now that you are 60 years old, there are some things you no longer do for me. I am at the Holiday Inn with my 20-year-old student. Don't bother waiting up for me."
He returns home late that night to find a note from his wife: "You, my dear, are also 60 years old and there are also things I need that you're not giving me. So I am at the Motel 6 with one of your 20-year-old students. Being a math professor, I'm sure you know that 20 goes into 60 way more than 60 goes into 20. So, don't you wait up for me."

A couple goes to a s**... therapist..

A couple, both age 78, went to a s**... therapist's office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"
The man said, "Will you watch us have s**...?"
The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.
When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have s**...," and charged them $50.
This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have s**... with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave.
Finally, the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?"
"We're not trying to find out anything," the husband replied.
"She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $90. The Hilton charges $108. We do it here for $50...and I get $43 back from Medicare

A college math professor and his wife are both 60 years old.
One evening the wife comes home and finds a note from her husband.
It says: "My dear, now that you are 60 years old, there are some things you no longer do for me. I am at the Holiday Inn with my 20-year-old student. Don't bother waiting up for me."
He returns home late that night to find a note from his wife: "You, my dear, are also 60 years old and there are also things I need that you're not giving me. So, I am at the Motel 6 with one of your 20-year-old students. Being a math professor, I'm sure you know that 20 goes into 60 way more than 60 goes into 20. So, don't YOU wait up for ME."