Hold Candle Jokes
5 hold candle jokes and hilarious hold candle puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hold candle that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Gather Around for Heartwarming Hold Candle Jokes and Uplifting Humor
What is a good hold candle joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
"Your dad cant hold a candle to what my daddy can do."
"Oh Ya, what does he do?"
"Makes gun powder."
Someone asked me if I'm a gentleman.
Yes, yes I am. Holding doors open for people for example. Or when my wife gets home late, I light up some candles, letting some warm water run, add some soap, so she can start doing the dishes as soon as she gets home.
Scarecrow from The wizard of oz is by far the greatest character of all time.
No one could hold a candle to him.
What do you call a candelabra that refuses to hold candles?
A candle-nah-brah
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Rocking s**...
Two elderly residents, one male and one female, were sitting alone in the lobby of their nursing home one evening.
The old man looked over and said to the old lady, "I know just what you're wanting, and for hundred bucks I'll have s**... with you right over there in that rocking chair."
The old lady looked surprised, but didn't say a word.
The old man continued, "For 300 bucks I'll do it with you on that nice soft sofa over there, but for 500 bucks I'll take you back to my room, light some candles, and give you the most romantic evening you've ever had in your life."
The old lady still says nothing, but after a couple minutes, starts digging down in her purse. She pulls out a wrinkled 500 note and holds it up.
"So you want the nice romantic evening in my room," says the old man.
"Get serious," she replies. "I want it five times in the rocking chair!"
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